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Am I reading his signs right? - 6/30/2008 11:05:07 AM
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retro-goddess
Posts: 46
Joined: 9/24/2007
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Hi! I'm fairly new to the whole dating scene. I'm not very good with reading signals from men and I was wondering if this gentleman is showing interest in me and if I'm reciprocating correctly!
He's a Christian gentleman who I see maybe once a month at Christian functions. I'm don't know him very well, so I'm not sure how to read him. Here is what has happened.
When I first met him, he would always stare or be looking at me and then finally, he came over to me one day and was so scared, and asked me how my day was and definitely opened up when I smiled and started asking him questions.
He's not afraid to get physically close - either touching me on the shoulder once or sitting next to or standing next to me once in a while.
He's mentioned to me that he's single and looking to want to get married.
I emailed him and asked him if he wanted to preach for a ministry I serve in. I was trying to make conversation on a more consistent basis via email at first. He responded twice and nothing else.
About two weeks later, I saw him at a friend's house. He saw me and asked if he could sit on the same couch I was on, so I said sure. We chatted briefly and someone else came by to talk, so he got up and walked away and didn't talk to me the rest of the night.
I like him. There's something about him that I'm attracted to. He's a Christian man, very passionate about his faith and even does on the street preaching. Can he be that shy around me if he preaches on the street? Maybe?
I just need some advice that what I'm seeing is interest on his part. If so, please tell me how I can talk with him or make him feel more comfortable. There's nothing I would like more than to get to know him, but every time I try, I feel awkward and don't know how to open the conversation. It seems like he has the same problem.
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RE: Am I reading his signs right? - 6/30/2008 11:24:18 AM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3240
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: retro-goddess
Hi! I'm fairly new to the whole dating scene. I'm not very good with reading signals from men and I was wondering if this gentleman is showing interest in me and if I'm reciprocating correctly!
He's a Christian gentleman who I see maybe once a month at Christian functions. I'm don't know him very well, so I'm not sure how to read him. Here is what has happened.
When I first met him, he would always stare or be looking at me and then finally, he came over to me one day and was so scared, and asked me how my day was and definitely opened up when I smiled and started asking him questions.
He either has a staring problem or he's interested.
quote:
He's not afraid to get physically close - either touching me on the shoulder once or sitting next to or standing next to me once in a while.
He either is a touchy/feely person, or he's interested.
quote:
He's mentioned to me that he's single and looking to want to get married.
He either likes one of your friends and is hoping you'll fix him up, or he's interested.
quote:
I emailed him and asked him if he wanted to preach for a ministry I serve in. I was trying to make conversation on a more consistent basis via email at first. He responded twice and nothing else.
He either has nothing else to say, or he's not interested.
quote:
About two weeks later, I saw him at a friend's house. He saw me and asked if he could sit on the same couch I was on, so I said sure. We chatted briefly and someone else came by to talk, so he got up and walked away and didn't talk to me the rest of the night.
He either found the other person more interesting to talk to, or he's not interested.
quote:
I like him. There's something about him that I'm attracted to. He's a Christian man, very passionate about his faith and even does on the street preaching. Can he be that shy around me if he preaches on the street? Maybe?
He's either shy or he's not interested.
quote:
I just need some advice that what I'm seeing is interest on his part. If so, please tell me how I can talk with him or make him feel more comfortable. There's nothing I would like more than to get to know him, but every time I try, I feel awkward and don't know how to open the conversation. It seems like he has the same problem.
Seems to me that you've done everything there is to do. He would have to be dense not to know you've shown some interest in him.
So in conclusion, he's either not interested or he is interested and is just moving very slow. Your guess is as good as mine! 
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Am I reading his signs right? - 6/30/2008 11:34:32 AM
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retro-goddess
Posts: 46
Joined: 9/24/2007
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Yeah, I hear ya - one thing I should say is that I'm not a very easy person to read. I clam up when a guy shows interest and I'm really trying to not do that. It makes the guy not able to figure me out. I'm just so afraid of rejection that if I do show any interest, the guy will reject me or the friendship will be lost or something!
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RE: Am I reading his signs right? - 6/30/2008 11:45:39 AM
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retro-goddess
Posts: 46
Joined: 9/24/2007
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Thank you. :) I know - I've been praying about it too. This guy is always on my mind and I just say, Lord, if you've put him on my mind for a reason, please tell me how to pray.
This guy also seems over-protective for someone who doesn't know me. One time, he got frustrated because I wouldn't put sun-tan lotion on (I just kept saying I'll be fine) or when talking to him about getting a new SUV, him questioning me about why I would get one when the gas mileage is low. I had to clarify that I meant a smaller SUV.
I just get the impression he's trying too hard too fast? Being touchy feely, giving me advice, being protective, wanting to talk to me, and all of this is fine! But it seems overwhelming too fast.
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RE: Am I reading his signs right? - 6/30/2008 12:13:05 PM
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slushie
Posts: 2280
Joined: 4/30/2006
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If it kind of makes you feel funny, all that touchy feely protectiveness, then you could ask him how he feels about you.
_____________________________
Testify to Love
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RE: Am I reading his signs right? - 6/30/2008 12:14:39 PM
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preserved
Posts: 1058
Joined: 6/12/2007
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ok...He is single and is looking for a wife...If so...he could be waiting to seek God's Will.
Has he ever been married? or in any other relationship? If not...could be why he is cautious...
Have you ever heard him preach in the streets? Does he not have a church to preach from or is he an evangelist?
If you do not know him very well!!! How do you know if he is a christian gentleman?
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RE: Am I reading his signs right? - 6/30/2008 12:22:24 PM
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retro-goddess
Posts: 46
Joined: 9/24/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: preserved
ok...He is single and is looking for a wife...If so...he could be waiting to seek God's Will.
Has he ever been married? or in any other relationship? If not...could be why he is cautious...
Have you ever heard him preach in the streets? Does he not have a church to preach from or is he an evangelist?
If you do not know him very well!!! How do you know if he is a christian gentleman?
Hi! He's 39, never married, single, and I don't know about his previous relationships. I have heard him preach on the street and do evangelism. No, he doesn't preach at a church.
His guy friends have made good comments about him when I've been around. And you're right, I don't know him very well, but that's the whole point. I'm trying to get to know him better to see if he is a Christian gentlemen! And I feel like I keep failing at the attempt.
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RE: Am I reading his signs right? - 6/30/2008 3:47:43 PM
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trainfan
Posts: 2734
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: neither here nor there
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He sounds like he is just shy. Give him some time and be patient.
I struggle with being shy sometimes, although I am much better than I used to be. To answer your question can he do street preaching and still be shy? Yes he can, it has to do with his comfort level. Same thing with the situation at the friends house he may not have been comfortable talking to you in front of someone else. As odd as that may sound it is sometimes how shy people feel.
edited for typos.
< Message edited by trainfan -- 6/30/2008 4:05:22 PM >
_____________________________
Buy local, support local retailers.
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RE: Am I reading his signs right? - 6/30/2008 7:03:25 PM
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MWD
Posts: 205
Joined: 8/23/2006
From: New Hampshire
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quote:
He's mentioned to me that he's [. . .] looking to want to get married.
Boy, did that raise a red flag with me! Be careful he's not staring down 40 and looking for someone, anyone, to help him achieve a condition (marriage). No one wants to count in someone else's life merely as a placeholder.
Also, that touchy-feely stuff sort of creeped me out.
I'm not saying this doesn't have possibilities. But it feels a little "off," at least from this distance.
_____________________________
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn't exist."
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RE: Am I reading his signs right? - 6/30/2008 8:49:45 PM
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retro-goddess
Posts: 46
Joined: 9/24/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MWD
quote:
He's mentioned to me that he's [. . .] looking to want to get married.
Boy, did that raise a red flag with me! Be careful he's not staring down 40 and looking for someone, anyone, to help him achieve a condition (marriage). No one wants to count in someone else's life merely as a placeholder.
Also, that touchy-feely stuff sort of creeped me out.
I'm not saying this doesn't have possibilities. But it feels a little "off," at least from this distance.
Wow, that's an excellent point! I didn't even think about that. I thought it was kind of weird when he said it to me.
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RE: Am I reading his signs right? - 7/1/2008 12:51:53 AM
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gmc4Jesus
Posts: 216
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Torrance, California
Status: online
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From what you say, it sounds like this gentleman is a little gun shy.
My two cents:
1. Next time you see him, ask him how you could pray for him. Then go home and do pray!
2. If you have found what kinds of events he attends and be there. Finding opportunities to be where he is give you time to observe how he interacts with others. It may also provide opportunities for you to talk to each other and get better acquainted.
One more thing, I know it is hard when so many men are afraid to take the initiative, but let him be the leader. You might find some ways to encourage him, but he needs to know that you trust and respect him to lead in a Godly way.
May God bless and give you wisdom and favor in this pursuit!
_____________________________
Let's talk about Jesus, His life and teachings at the www.gettingtoknowjesus.org Gospel Study Forum.
Home of "Getting To Know Jesus", a complete Bible study on the life and teachings of Jesus.
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RE: Am I reading his signs right? - 7/1/2008 11:26:30 AM
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preserved
Posts: 1058
Joined: 6/12/2007
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The more I think on this...and based upon what has been written here...I am not seeing that he is shy...1) He is not afraid to get physically close..he is touchy... 2) he told you that he is single and looking to get married. Based upon the two things I just mentioned does not indicate a shy guy...He may be trying to feel you out to see where you are coming from and/or looking for you to make the initiative. Just be careful in this... The other question of concern is why he is performing street preaching and or also not in a local church?...
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RE: Am I reading his signs right? - 7/1/2008 11:42:37 AM
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retro-goddess
Posts: 46
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: preserved
The more I think on this...and based upon what has been written here...I am not seeing that he is shy...1) He is not afraid to get physically close..he is touchy... 2) he told you that he is single and looking to get married. Based upon the two things I just mentioned does not indicate a shy guy...He may be trying to feel you out to see where you are coming from and/or looking for you to make the initiative. Just be careful in this... The other question of concern is why he is performing street preaching and or also not in a local church?...
Yeah, I will definitely be taking some steps, praying, slowly getting to know him, etc. He does belong to a local church, just not mine. :) He goes out with a group (local ministry) that does street evangelism and gives out Bible tracts - sometimes I join them. He will preach once in a while as part of that.
I agree with what you say about what he does - I had just guessed he was shy because he had such a problem talking with me (and vice versa). But more importantly, I wanted to make sure that what he's doing towards me is him actually being interested in me, because sometimes, I have no clue!
As for his touchiness - he has been behind me and grabbed my shoulder briefly. He's also not afraid to get in my personal space, or stand right beside me with no space between us and shoulders touching. The whole looking to get married was a surprise. I heard this once before from a guy who was interested in me (he wasn't a christian, but would brag about his wealth and how he wanted to married). I shut that down pretty quickly though.
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