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Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/7/2008 9:57:09 PM
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keelgirl
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Growing up I had so many people talk negatively about marriage. My youth pastors wife said that if she had known how much work it was she wouldn't have ever gotten married, my mom said something similar. My marriage is nothing like what they have said. I LOVE being married, my husband is wonderful, my life is wonderful, its just wonderful. I'm not saying we don't have disagreements and everything is perfect all of the time but overall I think God did a great job with my love story!
Is there anyone else who thinks marriage is a wonderful gift???
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/7/2008 11:02:20 PM
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d3schaffiro
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Yes, I agree that mariage is a wonderful gift. I've been married for 13 years. First marriage. My wife has also been married to me for 13 years! Oops, I meant to say my wife was also never married before!
Having said that, there is a fair bit to do with upbringing that can put stress on a marriage. First off, that's awesome that you were not affected by the negativity surrounding marriage. It's too bad when you hear statements like what you said your youth pastor's wife and mom said. My wife's family viewed sex as a "bad" thing and as a result, our marriage has never been a sexually "safe" place. Plus I was sexually abused as a child. So there's a double whammy against a sexually fulfilling marriage. But dispite this "curse" in our marriage, I feel as you do, that my marriage is a wonderful gift!
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/8/2008 5:56:23 AM
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maddog4god
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I think a lot of it has to do with how and who you married - many of us were "baby christians" who were not hearing/seeking God about our marriages, hence we got what we dove into. The most blessed marriages I have ever seen are the one where both parties sought God or they seemed to be divinely arranged.
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/8/2008 6:06:21 AM
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car2ner
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quote:
many of us were "baby christians" who were not hearing/seeking God about our marriages, hence we got what we dove into. The most blessed marriages I have ever seen are the one where both parties sought God or they seemed to be divinely arranged.
This is so true. Life comes at you fast, as one commercial says, but to not listen to God when dating and "falling in love" will lead to regret.
BTW, we are madly in love and married (grin)
< Message edited by car2ner -- 5/8/2008 6:12:42 AM >
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/8/2008 7:42:20 AM
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scottmcc1
Posts: 74
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We are having a wonderful marriage. What I looked for in a wife was a woman that had been on a short term missions trip and wanted to go again. This was my way of knowing if she was truly committed to Christ. Many people say they are committed to Christ but don't know what they are talking about. I was also looking for a woman that was not stressing material needs. This takes the pressure off of finances. God put us together and it is amazing the things we have in common.
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/8/2008 11:42:58 AM
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CheshireMuse
Posts: 82
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I know that marriage is a wonderful gift.... and so is my DH... My husband is truly a gift from God, and our marriage is strong..
That doesn't change the fact that marriage is also hard work. Sometimes its harder than other times, but saying that marriage takes alot of effort doesn't imply negativity at all, IMO.... Its the truth.
We all have times when our marriages are "easy".... things are flowing smoothly and all's well with the world. But, we also have times when our marriages aren't so easy.... money, kids, in-laws, work, stress, boredom, miscommunications, etc...
Sometimes we have to make a choice to love our spouse when they are unlovable.... and I'm not talking about morning breath or a bad haircut.... I'm talking about selfishness, moodiness, irritability, stupidity and plain ole' difference of opinion....and that ain't a walk in the park...
If you want a garden, you don't expect to toss a few seeds out in the yard and thats it, do you? Of course not... you know going in that there's alot involved with creating a nice garden.... alot of hard work that has nothing to do with seeds.... digging, tilling, planting, weeding, fertilizing, etc.....
Same with marriage.... lotta work.... but, definitely worth it... :-)
quote:
ORIGINAL: keelgirl
Growing up I had so many people talk negatively about marriage. My youth pastors wife said that if she had known how much work it was she wouldn't have ever gotten married, my mom said something similar. My marriage is nothing like what they have said. I LOVE being married, my husband is wonderful, my life is wonderful, its just wonderful. I'm not saying we don't have disagreements and everything is perfect all of the time but overall I think God did a great job with my love story!
Is there anyone else who thinks marriage is a wonderful gift???
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Peace,
Muse
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/8/2008 12:34:58 PM
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CatholicCritter
Posts: 147
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I believe God knows what He is doing. He knows that I probably wouldn't get to Heaven without the love, commitment, and yes, even suffering of a covenantal marriage. Nobody can really be fully prepared for what the married life throws at you--this fact, to me, is God loudly proclaiming, 'Believe in ME and I'll do the heavy lifting for you both!'
There's a great book called '3 to get Married' and it's spot on. When God isn't between my wife and I, we rub each other like brakes on metal. So as much as the world tells me that a real man can't commit to one woman, can dump her at the first sign of trouble, and doesn't have to be around to raise his children, life proves that idea to be ridiculous.
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/8/2008 2:11:21 PM
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buckifn
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quote:
Is there anyone else who thinks marriage is a wonderful gift???
Yes. In fact, one day I left a note by the alarm clock and told my wife could she please get rid of it because waking up next to her is one thing I never want to end.
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/8/2008 3:03:41 PM
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keelgirl
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There is a teenage girl who lives down my street, her mom has never been married and been with several guys, the girl is a self proclaimed atheist and says that she will never get married, marriages "suck". I understand where she is coming from, not knowing God or having a life that would show any different. We have so many people on our street that have marriage problems, she doesn't know any different.
My husband and I are youth pastors and some of our core students spend a lot of time with us (we like to have our home open to young people because we realize that most young people do not have a good example of family life and we hope to show them what they can have with God's help). We have been told by a few that we have the best marriage of anyone they know, and they know a lot of people from church, so what does that say about how most Christians portray marriage?
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/9/2008 6:08:08 PM
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firefly31784
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I'm so glad I got married, and we're even having some difficulties!
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/9/2008 11:38:05 PM
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ladyingrace1979
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I think a lot has to do with the fact that we only talk about our marriages when things are difficult. When things are good it's really easy to take them for granted and not talk about how good things are. I think it is just human nature. So we are left with the picture of marriage being more trouble than it is worth.
I love being married, it can be hard work but it is well worth it.
Kim Q
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/10/2008 12:49:36 AM
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scottmcc1
Posts: 74
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Our marriage has been good, one reason is that we both are weak emotionally. When there is a disagreement we solve it fast because we can't live with disagreement.
we only talk about our marriages when things are difficult.
I agree with ladyingrace 1979. I think its human nature to complain more than it is to praise. I remember a comment I made to fellow workers that I loved my wife. Seeing the sour look on their (unsaved men) faces I realized this was not something I should talk about.
I think complaining is a self fulfilling prophecy. How we speak sets the tone of our life.
I want to give God credit for my success. Thank you Jesus. Because it seems I'm a klutz in human relations normally. We can do great things through Jesus.
_____________________________
(My Bible study web page)
http://www.freewebs.com/wftr/index.htm
(comments on nature)
http://www.verde33.blogspot.com
Thoughts on my Christan walk
http://www.verde34.blogspot.com
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/10/2008 1:55:38 AM
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jaimestarcross
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Marriage is a wonderful gift!
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/10/2008 2:18:01 PM
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futuremartyr
Posts: 138
Joined: 4/4/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: keelgirl
Growing up I had so many people talk negatively about marriage. My youth pastors wife said that if she had known how much work it was she wouldn't have ever gotten married, my mom said something similar. My marriage is nothing like what they have said. I LOVE being married, my husband is wonderful, my life is wonderful, its just wonderful. I'm not saying we don't have disagreements and everything is perfect all of the time but overall I think God did a great job with my love story!
Is there anyone else who thinks marriage is a wonderful gift???
I agree with God, marriage is very good.
Genesis 1:31
God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/14/2008 1:39:19 AM
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justme008
Posts: 3
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I do think marriage is a wonderful thing.. I've been married 20 years and we have 5 kids... maybe the difficulties people talk about are the normal everyday things that we all struggle with; enough time, money, energy to do the things that need to be done... and the stuff that we all get thrown at us married or not...
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/14/2008 7:32:02 AM
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mbgb
Posts: 249
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I personally believe that people who think their marriage is hard, are people who are taking too much of the burdens of running the house on themselves. Communication breakdown could have caused these women to feel they have "so much work" to do. God never intended for marriage to be miserable, I don't believe anyway. I hear that too. I know several women who say, "Yeah, my husband acts like a child. I have to do his laundry, I just have one more kid on my hands." blah blah blah. I say, stand up for yourself and don't let him do that. Also, we as women do have certain responsibilities that I think God wants us to take on in the household. I don't think we need to begrudgingly take on these responsibilities, he'd rather us not do them at all then. I think we should happily oblige, knowing we are serving our God the way He prefers. I'm (obviously, as you can see from my posts) am just not one who likes to be miserable in a marriage for a long period of time. I've never been able to do that when dating either. I have to let my guy know. Me and DH had issues until recently (read my posts if you don't know), and now we're sailing pretty smoothly. I believe God can work in everyone's marriage, and first and foremost we have to get our relationship with Him right before our marriage can be wonderful. Maybe He's trying to speak to these ladies who complain so much. If they were taking care of their relationship with God, then they wouldn't be complaining, because He provides, and He fixes marriages! I'm living proof!
Anyway, that's my opinion. I don't think marriage should be NOR ever needs to be hard on either party involved. When that happens, it's time to take the reigns and do your part to bring the marriage back to God's eyes. You do that by first speaking to Him, and the rest is history.
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/14/2008 10:23:37 AM
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tiffywal
Posts: 51
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Marriage is wonderful thing. My husband and I had already had history before we got married. We've been through so much and through each trial we decided that we would hold on to God and love to help us through.
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/14/2008 11:08:16 AM
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DaveW
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From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mbgb
I personally believe that people who think their marriage is hard, are people who are taking too much of the burdens of running the house on themselves..... I don't think marriage should be NOR ever needs to be hard on either party involved. When that happens, it's time to take the reigns and do your part to bring the marriage back to God's eyes. You do that by first speaking to Him, and the rest is history. I respectively disagree. Any close relationship takes a lot of work, and those who are "blessed" to not have to work at it IMO are either in trouble and don't know it and/or are missing out on the blessing of having things worked out and through. If you really want the butterfly to fly, he needs to struggle to exit the cacoon. That is the way the muscles are worked that allow for flight. Similarly, if the couple does not have the skills developed to deal with serious issues, when one just happens to broadside them it may destroy them.
Just My Opinion.
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/14/2008 2:23:44 PM
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laughinggirl
Posts: 332
Joined: 8/2/2005
From: Dallas, TX
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quote:
ORIGINAL: keelgirl
I LOVE being married, my husband is wonderful, my life is wonderful, its just wonderful. I'm not saying we don't have disagreements and everything is perfect all of the time but overall I think God did a great job with my love story!
Is there anyone else who thinks marriage is a wonderful gift???
I feel exactly as you do!!! I LOVE being married! My husband is a daily blessing and I am so happy to have him.
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Bethany's Blog
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RE: Anyone else feel the same as me? - 5/14/2008 8:04:50 PM
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isaiah6524
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When a couple is united in their focus on God's design for marriage, I know it can be a wonderful and fulfilling experience...trials and all! My personal story is not a positive one, but that doesn't mean I don't think it's impossible.
My little sister (significantly younger) said to me recently that she'd never get married. She's almost 18. She sees no example of a truly godly marriage being lived out day-to-day. It made me so sad. It doesn't have to be that way, but I'm not one to talk!
Thank you for starting this thread!! I think if more people were more vocal about how blessed they are in their marriages, our youth would be impacted in a great way!
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