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ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair

That child clearly has idiots for parents. By insisting that he go back to the abuse every single day, they are causing him some serious problems. If they want to fight a battle, that is fine...but they should not be using their son as a pawn.

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ORIGINAL: stellaluna
I hear stories regularly about friends' kids who are bullied at school and who get in trouble for defending themselves. (I'm glad I have friends who tell their kids to defend themselves.)

When he was in third grade, my nephew was bullied incessantly by a boy two grades above him. They happened to have the same recess time and that's when most of it was happening, under the "watchful" eyes of the playground monitors. My brother and SIL tried for weeks and weeks to get the school to intervene and nothing was done. So my SIL decided to take matters into her own hands. She drove over to the school one day and parked her car so that she had a good view of the playground. She observed the bully walk over to my nephew, exchange a few words and push him down. The monitors were looking in that direction, but they didn't do anything. She saw my nephew stand up and get pushed down again, then another little boy standing nearby got pushed down, too. Still the monitors did nothing. She got out of the car as my nephew stood up again and the bully grabbed his shirt. She walked purposefully all the way over to the bully, grabbed him by the shirt and told him that she was watching him, and if he ever touched her kid again--or any other kid--she was going to personally kick his you-know-what. She didn't mince words.

Well...the monitors saw her and ran over and it turned into a huge deal and the bully was bawling like a baby and they called his parents, blah blah blah. My SIL stood her ground, though, and said that she had been trying to get the school to fix the situation for weeks and if they wanted to arrest her, charge her, whatever, to go right ahead because she was prepared to sue because the school district failed to protect her child and other parents whose children had been bullied by this kid might be interested in suing as well. That pretty much got the school on her side, naturally. The parents of the bully actually did want her charged with assaulting their kid, but the principal talked them down and convinced them that their son was a discipline problem.

Anyway, the point of all that is that I believe more parents should get in the faces of the school administrators if their kids are being bullied and nothing is being done. They should also work to get policies changed that punish those defending themselves instead of those doing the bullying. There are way too many districts that do just that with their "no tolerance" policies for fighting.

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ORIGINAL: RichLP

Stories like this remind me of why my father taught me to fight if bullied. And I’m not sure I won’t teach my sons to fight back if I ever have boys and if they are bullied.

If this is supposedly, as per the article, one of America’s better school districts, I worry. What are the teachers doing? How can they be so lenient with this kind of behavior? Translate that into the workforce and you’d have million-dollar lawsuits. (yes, the boy’s parents decided to sue, but why did they have to take this drastic step?)

I'm not sure, either, that if I ever catch a boy doing that to my kids if/when I'm a father, that I will be able to restrain myself. Sometimes, boys only learn by getting beaten up - it reminds me of the Bible, where Proverbs says fools only learn via a beating.

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ORIGINAL: rcorson
On the flip side, if I find out that DD or DS is caught bullying someone, the things they enjoy in life will be no more for a very long time. (radios, tv, computer, art and sports stuff). We also have some other consequences in the event taking away prized material possessions don't work. Bullying and teasing in our house is absolutely NOT tolerated.

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t's never happened to my two, but yes they DO have permission to defend themselves.

No one is our public schools has the time to look out for bullies all day long. In most cases, bullies are not stupid. They have all day to wait for an opportune moment when the teacher's back is turned.

I tell my kids it's like a soccer game. If the ref doesn't see it, it's not a foul.

If someone is playing rough, take what you can take, and warn them off. The odds are good that you will get busted if you retaliate, so don't be provoked easily.

But if it gets too much, go ahead and risk the red card! You will be treated with more respect next time, by the bully and others, when you definitively stand up for yourself.

You might get thrown out of this game (ISS or OOSS), but it will make tomorrow's game better. Sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do.

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If someone is playing rough, take what you can take, and warn them off. The odds are good that you will get busted if you retaliate, so don't be provoked easily.

But if it gets too much, go ahead and risk the red card! You will be treated with more respect next time, by the bully and others, when you definitively stand up for yourself.

You might get thrown out of this game (ISS or OOSS), but it will make tomorrow's game better. Sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do.

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I am so puzzled as to why it matters to this conversation where my kids learn their three R's [/quote



It didn't really matter per this conversation, it's just that I thought I knew a piece of information about you, and then in this thread, it appeared the information was wrong. I was just trying to clarify, not judge, and I thought I had made that clear in my post. Sigh, I guess I failed to do that(make it clear, that is).

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And the Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give strength to your bones; And you will be like a watered garden, And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail. Isaiah 58:11

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I was bullied in grade school ... to the point where they cracked my lower spine and I ended up in traction for several weeks. I am glad to still walk, even if it is with the use of two canes at times.

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ORIGINAL: Karaboo2

I was bullied in grade school ... to the point where they cracked my lower spine and I ended up in traction for several weeks. I am glad to still walk, even if it is with the use of two canes at times. (I also went from 5'9" down to 5'5" from the spinal compression) The school's response? They kept the offenders in during recess. Big deal. Most of these bullies ended up having children by the time they were 15, and STILL bullied whomever they chose.

When I had children of my own, my former teachers pleaded with me to hs my kids, so they would never have to endure the injustices I faced in school (all these teachers had gone to bat for me, but the administration refused to take any action, as THEY were being bullied by the parents of the bullies!)