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Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 1:30:05 PM   
christsstar


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What do you do with your infant/newborn/young baby in church?

I've been attending my church for less than a year. Other churches I've been to in my adulthood I've always noticed babies in the service, with a mom taking baby out if baby gets too fussy. But this current church I've not seen any babies in either service (traditional or contemporary). There is a conference room set up in the office area behind the auditorium that says it's for mothers of newborns. I don't know if anyone uses it since I'm not back there during the service.

I don't want to sit in a conference room during church, I want to be a part of the service. But I also don't want to be the mom who alienates the rest of the congregation by having a baby in the service, even if she's quiet.

Would it be reasonable for me to try to take baby in the service and then sit near the door?

(I'm still only 27 weeks pregnant; I'm just planning ahead.)

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Christine
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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 1:32:56 PM   
W.O.F.


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It would, in my opinion, be reasonable. I don't think that it should be an issue for you to sit in service with your child, and then have access for a "quick escape" when needed.

I have never done the whole "sit in sequestered room for an entire service" thing....I have always left myself an escape route though!

What is your congregations' stance on children in the service as a whole? Are they welcome if quiet?

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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 1:37:09 PM   
Mrs.Wifey


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I always started the morning in the sanctuary, especially for worship and announcements. Usually after that she would need to eat, or just want to talk so we would move to the "Nursing Mothers" room. Our nursing room is right off the back of the sanctuary and has a one way window/mirror so you can still see the real service. They do an audio feed into the room since it's pretty sound proof.

We didn't put DD in the nursery until she was 9 months old, so it was nice for us. I could take her in there and let her play on the floor with some toys while I listened to the sermon. They would even pop in with stuff for communion for me and whoever else was in there.

Gotta admit, those nice big arm chairs are much more comfortable then the ones in the sanctuary.

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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 1:40:20 PM   
3cappuccinosmom


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I think it would be perfectly reasonable.

Yes, it's rude to keep a screaming baby in church, but a quiet or sleeping baby, why not? Hopefully nobody in your church would have a problem with that. We have always kept our babies in church, and I simply get up and go out if they get noisy. I don't really care that there are very few people in this church that do the same. My baby is *my* baby and I get to decide.

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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 1:46:01 PM   
christsstar


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My church has two services. We attend the traditional, which seems to have mostly older people. There aren't any kids in the service.

The second service, contemporary, is a lot younger and has a lot of teens and young adults. However the sunday school for both middle school and high school, and I think 5th and 6th graders, is during the second service. I don't know about the kids 4th and under, nor about non-school aged. I suspect they all participate in a children's church program during that time. I've not looked into it because it's not been important to me.

I've noticed most of the youth (MS and HS) only go to Sunday School and not the service. If they went to the service, I suspect we'd see them in the traditional service. I think that the idea, albeit unspoken, is that the adults go to the service and there are other activities for the kids during the service. I've not seen anything about adult Sunday School classes either.

Maybe we'll be the family that breaks the mold and our kids will go to both church and a Sunday school. And we'll just go to both services, or help out in one of the Sunday School classes during the other service.

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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 1:46:09 PM   
BlessedMamaofmany


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honestly...I'd be wary of a church that viewed children in service as annoying or inconvenient...
That being said, sit somewhere you can get out easily if she starts fussing, or if you're not comfortable nursing in service.
I have always taken my babies with me...and as long as their not screaming, I could really care less what anyone thinks. Babies are a blessing from God, and why shouldn't they be present?
Sandy

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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 1:48:03 PM   
W.O.F.


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quote:

ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom

I think it would be perfectly reasonable.

Yes, it's rude to keep a screaming baby in church, but a quiet or sleeping baby, why not? Hopefully nobody in your church would have a problem with that. We have always kept our babies in church, and I simply get up and go out if they get noisy. I don't really care that there are very few people in this church that do the same. My baby is *my* baby and I get to decide.

AMEN!

The main reason I ask about the attitude of the church about children in general is this...that way you know how to address people's comments, IF any are made.

I always simply answered that I liked having my babies with me, and as long as they weren't distracting anyone by being unhappy or loud, that is where they would stay.

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Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 1:48:55 PM   
christsstar


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I'm not sure what the view is on them. I just don't see them in church. And since the service we go to is mostly older people (60s and above), I wouldn't expect to see a lot of babies in church.

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Christine
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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 1:50:18 PM   
BlessedMamaofmany


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I've been to a church like that Christine, my last church before we moved here was a church of mostly older people...but my youngest was nearing one at that time, so he went into the nursery.
Actually, I'd think you'd be the stars of church...all those grandparents and a new baby to coo at!! You might have trouble getting out of church LOL

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Atheism: The belief that there was nothing, nothing happened to nothing, then nothing magically exploded for no reason, creating everything, then a bunch of everything magically rearranged itself into self-replicating bits that then turned into dinosaurs
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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 1:50:56 PM   
W.O.F.


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quote:

ORIGINAL: christsstar

My church has two services. We attend the traditional, which seems to have mostly older people. There aren't any kids in the service.

The second service, contemporary, is a lot younger and has a lot of teens and young adults. However the Sunday school for both middle school and high school, and I think 5th and 6th graders, is during the second service. I don't know about the kids 4th and under, nor about non-school aged. I suspect they all participate in a children's church program during that time. I've not looked into it because it's not been important to me.

I've noticed most of the youth (MS and HS) only go to Sunday School and not the service. If they went to the service, I suspect we'd see them in the traditional service. I think that the idea, albeit unspoken, is that the adults go to the service and there are other activities for the kids during the service. I've not seen anything about adult Sunday School classes either.

Maybe we'll be the family that breaks the mold and our kids will go to both church and a Sunday school. And we'll just go to both services, or help out in one of the Sunday School classes during the other service.
I just read this post...and I have to say I am leery of churches that do church this way. When do they teach children how to worship God other than just in Sunday School? When do families worship together? This type of congregation trains its youth how NOT to attend church...and most parents buy into it. I am glad you are not going to be doing so...but I tend to run from churches with this type of service set up.


Oh..and by the way....CONGRATULATIONS on the new little star to be!

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Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 1:56:59 PM   
3cappuccinosmom


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Good for you if you break the mold.

I'm glad our church encourages family worship and also provides Sunday School for kids. I like being able to worship together. I'm also glad they do not let people use SS as a "daycare", even though some try--when I'm teaching, that still lets me worship with my family before I head to the classroom.

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Post #: 11
RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 2:16:01 PM   
Sideways


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As one pastor I know put it, "I'd rather hear a child in the sanctuary, because that means they're here worshiping."

Attending services with a newborn is easy, attending services with a toddler and no good nursery... we've missed a lot of church.

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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 2:22:54 PM   
Szaftoo


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When our kids were babies, we put them in the nursery for the entire service. If there was a problem, we would see our "number" appear on a small screen which meant we were needed. We never got the call so l can't relate to that. We were then able to give our full attention to the worship and teaching because we didn't have our babies with us.
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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 2:38:37 PM   
Sideways


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Oh, you want to know when the last time I actually gave my full attention to the service? Years. Seriously.

But I don't have any other choice for some time to come.

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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 2:57:52 PM   
christsstar


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quote:

ORIGINAL: W.O.F.

quote:

ORIGINAL: christsstar

My church has two services. We attend the traditional, which seems to have mostly older people. There aren't any kids in the service.

The second service, contemporary, is a lot younger and has a lot of teens and young adults. However the Sunday school for both middle school and high school, and I think 5th and 6th graders, is during the second service. I don't know about the kids 4th and under, nor about non-school aged. I suspect they all participate in a children's church program during that time. I've not looked into it because it's not been important to me.

I've noticed most of the youth (MS and HS) only go to Sunday School and not the service. If they went to the service, I suspect we'd see them in the traditional service. I think that the idea, albeit unspoken, is that the adults go to the service and there are other activities for the kids during the service. I've not seen anything about adult Sunday School classes either.

Maybe we'll be the family that breaks the mold and our kids will go to both church and a Sunday school. And we'll just go to both services, or help out in one of the Sunday School classes during the other service.
I just read this post...and I have to say I am leery of churches that do church this way. When do they teach children how to worship God other than just in Sunday School? When do families worship together? This type of congregation trains its youth how NOT to attend church...and most parents buy into it. I am glad you are not going to be doing so...but I tend to run from churches with this type of service set up.


Oh..and by the way....CONGRATULATIONS on the new little star to be!


Like I said, I really don't know. We haven't been around long enough to know about the kids programs. And since the kids we have are 12 and 14, all we know is the youth. They go to the service with us, then do Sunday School.

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Christine
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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 3:29:54 PM   
W.O.F.


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Szaftoo

When our kids were babies, we put them in the nursery for the entire service. If there was a problem, we would see our "number" appear on a small screen which meant we were needed. We never got the call so l can't relate to that. We were then able to give our full attention to the worship and teaching because we didn't have our babies with us.

The only problem with that is, if someone is a nursing mother, sometimes the nursery workers will not be aware of that and will not call when all baby needs is to be fed....

I actually am better able to focus on worship when my children are with me...because I know where they are, what they are up to and that they will be fed and changed on demand.

I am not against nurseries per se, but I do feel that children get a lot of their biblical training by osmosis...what they hear and participate in..even before they are "old enough". I do not like them for my children...and the only time my children are in one is when it is MY turn to serve in the nursery...lol.

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Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 3:47:23 PM   
christsstar


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Ideally, I like to be at churches that are open to both styles.

I think I prefer to have my baby with me in the service, especially when she's still a youngin'. But as she gets older, I don't know. DH and I are discussing this. I guess we have a few years to really decide. And by then, we may be in a completely different church.

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Christine
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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 3:58:52 PM   
W.O.F.


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quote:

ORIGINAL: christsstar

Ideally, I like to be at churches that are open to both styles.

I think I prefer to have my baby with me in the service, especially when she's still a youngin'. But as she gets older, I don't know. DH and I are discussing this. I guess we have a few years to really decide. And by then, we may be in a completely different church.

I think the key here is to be at a church that is open to both styles.....

I thought I'd better qualify what I said...I have on occasion taken my kids to the nursery when they just could not sit quietly or were restless...I usually stay with them...that is MY preference....no one else has to do it that way....

again..not against nurseries as a rule, just not for me as a rule.

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Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 5:57:56 PM   
christsstar


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I can't see any church saying, "No, your child may not worship with us," but I really would feel more comfortable when there are other children in the service.

My church growing up would do singing with kids present, then they'd all leave together to their respective classes. I really liked that. And every communion Sunday was Family Sunday, so there was no children's church (nursery for those under 5 I think).

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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 6:27:58 PM   
his_chosen


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I always kept my babies with me in the service. Once they became too wiggly, I would put them in the nursery. Our first church NEVER got us if the baby cried. The nursery was close to the sanctuary so I'd have one ear turned towards the nursery and could always hear my baby cry. Our second church did the "number" thing and were much better about calling parents.

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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 7:43:43 PM   
buckifn

 

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we never used a nursery....but did use a feeding room if the baby needed it...most services are around an hour long so it really wasn't a problem. thinking over the past few months I can not remember interruptions by crying babies that was anything close to being annoying....and our sanctuary usually has at least 5-7 families with infant ones on any given Sunday.
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RE: Babies in Church - 2/19/2009 8:55:43 PM   
MrsTracy72


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We have daycare for kids three and under, then they go to Sunday school. They stay for praise and worship, then are excused to their classes for the sermon. When they get older, they either go to choir or stay quietly in the sanctuary. My kids go to choir and it works out great for us.
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RE: Babies in Church - 2/20/2009 8:02:37 AM   
MrsTracy72


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quote:



I just read this post...and I have to say I am leery of churches that do church this way. When do they teach children how to worship God other than just in Sunday School? When do families worship together? This type of congregation trains its youth how NOT to attend church...and most parents buy into it. I am glad you are not going to be doing so...but I tend to run from churches with this type of service set up.


That is sad that you run from churches like that. I moved from a church that didn't have anything but Sunday School for my kids to a church that not only has Sunday School, but doesn't run until after praise and worship. I don't expect my 4 year old to sit through a sermon and understand it so why not send her to something she can understand, and I get to listen to the entire sermon without telling her to sit quietly.

We used to attend a church that kept the kids in the service and my kids got nothing from it. Now, after two years, my son wants to be baptized, my daughter is praying on her own with no input from me, and my other daughter is just starting to get it. I think that at least for my church, they do a pretty good job about taking the kids during the service and teaching them what is age appropriate.

I would always go to a church that has things for the kids during the service and I would always send my kids to that program.
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RE: Babies in Church - 2/20/2009 9:02:41 AM   
BlessedMamaofmany


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Not speaking for WOF here...but she did say she has nothing against nurseries and the like...
Personally, I like SS for my kids, and the nursery for my toddlers. I put both my toddler boys in the nursery, and my girls stay with us till children's church, my 4yo goes with them, and my 6yo stays with us, per my husband's request. I don't particularly care for children's church...so many little kids...usually with only one or two volunteers. They learn virtually nothing with that kind of distraction. BUT, my husband likes my younger girl going, so that's the end of that LOL
What I don't agree with is the unspoken attitude amongst *some* christians/churches that babies/children are unwelcome distractions, so put them away please...

ETA: Honestly, if I could go back to when we were first saved, I wouldn't have put my kids in the nursery at all probably. We would have started church training early and with each one...but since we never thought otherwise, the nursery it was just 'cause 'it was the thing to do'...but again, that's just me

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RE: Babies in Church - 2/20/2009 9:42:18 AM   
Szaftoo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: W.O.F.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Szaftoo

When our kids were babies, we put them in the nursery for the entire service. If there was a problem, we would see our "number" appear on a small screen which meant we were needed. We never got the call so l can't relate to that. We were then able to give our full attention to the worship and teaching because we didn't have our babies with us.

The only problem with that is, if someone is a nursing mother, sometimes the nursery workers will not be aware of that and will not call when all baby needs is to be fed....

I actually am better able to focus on worship when my children are with me...because I know where they are, what they are up to and that they will be fed and changed on demand.

I am not against nurseries per se, but I do feel that children get a lot of their biblical training by osmosis...what they hear and participate in..even before they are "old enough". I do not like them for my children...and the only time my children are in one is when it is MY turn to serve in the nursery...lol.


I understand and respect where you are coming from. I nursed both of my kids just before church and that got them through the service. I had bottles for them but they were never used. When we picked them up, we were given a paper that told us when they were fed, changed, etc. During their time in the nursery, they had worship music softly playing and they were prayed for by the mothers who cared for them.

I was able to focus on the service and not worry about my kids because I knew they were well cared for. I am not saying my kids would have been a distraction, however, church was my time to be fed spiritually and that was important to me.

As far as being trained while in the adult service, I don't completely believe the best way for children to learn is by "osmosis". I want praise and worship music and Biblical teaching geared to their age level. I want them with other kids their own age for fellowship and who will eventually hold them accountable.

My kids are young adults now and have a strong walk with the Lord. Much of the credit goes to dedicated child care and youth workers.

We all do what we feel is right for our children and that is what worked for us.
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