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Conceiving one child to save another - 6/23/2009 10:42:47 PM
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Sideways
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This question is inspired by the book/movie My Sister's Keeper.
Basically, for those who are not QF, would you conceive another child with the express hope that the new baby would be a donor for an ill child? Granted, you would love and cherish the baby no matter what. Abortion isn't even on the table, here.
What would happen if that new baby got old enough to have a say? Let's say that the younger child had to donate multiple times to their older sibling? Does the younger sibling have the right to refuse to donate?
_____________________________
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. If you see a crocodile, don't forget to scream.
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/23/2009 10:50:10 PM
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stellaluna
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I've been seeing those commercials. I don't like it.
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/23/2009 10:55:22 PM
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isaacsmom
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I read that book a while back. I can't say I like the idea of putting another child through something painful/taxing when the child is too young to have any choice/understanding in the matter. Yes, I think the child should have the right to refuse. Very sad story (even though it's fiction).
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/23/2009 10:59:30 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
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I read that book awhile ago, it was actually the first thing I thought of when I saw the title of your post, Ruth.
We *might* do it for cord blood, but I would not do it for things like repeated bone marrow donation.
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Ryanne- trying hard to be my husband's girlfriend and my daughter's mother.
I'll keep my guns, freedom, and money- you can keep "the change."
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/23/2009 11:05:06 PM
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isaacsmom
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mrs.Wifey
We *might* do it for cord blood, but I would not do it for things like repeated bone marrow donation.
Same here. Cord blood would be acceptable. It wouldn't physically affect the new baby.
_____________________________
<<< My littles
*~*~*Rachel*~*~*
pirtlefarm.blogspot.com
Beware of posing as a profound person -- God became a baby. ~Oswald Chambers
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/23/2009 11:05:17 PM
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betterisoneday
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Never heard of the book/commercial but don't think I could purposefully attempt to conceive a child knowing I would then have that baby be a donor.
Mostly because I'd be to chicken to explain the reasoning to that child later, especially then trying to convince said child that s/he was wanted no matter what, I can't see where a child (no matter the age) would accept that.
And honestly, if you're already dealing with the stress of a gravely ill child wouldn't the stress of 'trying' (even if you had no problem) make it all the more a difficult time... (imo)
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/23/2009 11:06:16 PM
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Sideways
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Now cord blood is interesting, too. I saw a birth show a while back where one woman had conceived twins in the hopes of getting cord blood for her older child. She was hoping to have a vaginal birth because you get more cord blood extracted that way, and vaginal births are harder to come by with twins.
Both twins were delivered vaginally and they got quite a lot of blood to donate to the older child. I don't know what the end result was, though.
_____________________________
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. If you see a crocodile, don't forget to scream.
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/24/2009 12:23:16 AM
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JLovely
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Does the "express hope" = sole purpose?
I wouldn't do it. It is selfish, not to mention the fact that you are putting the younger child through a lot. The younger child doesn't deserve to go through that and can you imagine how devastating it would be to the younger child when they got older and realized that their "original purpose" was to help the older child live. I would definitely question my parents love for me. God forbid the older child died. How would the parents react and would they shun the younger for not being able to save the older. Lots of what ifs. thoughts, questions...
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/24/2009 12:26:32 AM
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JLovely
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Oh and what is QF?
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/24/2009 12:36:28 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
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JLovely, first of all, welcome to the forums, secondly, QF stands for quiver full, and quiver full (around here, anyways), stands for no birth control...I had never heard the term either until I came here. I had heard of people who don't use birth control, but I hadn't heard that term.
Trust me, stick around long enough, and you'll hear it plenty.
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To answer the original question, no, I would not do it, just as I would not get pregnant just to have a boy or just to have a girl.
I would only have a baby to have a child to cherish, and to nurture in the Lord. That's it. Not for the gender, not to save another child's life, not to carry on my name, not to take care of me in old age....none of that.
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There is no greater magic than the magic of love...Zeddicus Zuel Zyrander
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/24/2009 7:01:15 AM
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BlessedMamaofmany
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interesting topic! I can't say I'd ever thought of it...since it's a moot point for me as well.
I'll be thinking on this today!
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Atheism: The belief that there was nothing, nothing happened to nothing, then nothing magically exploded for no reason, creating everything, then a bunch of everything magically rearranged itself into self-replicating bits that then turned into dinosaurs
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/24/2009 8:40:49 AM
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Memaw.
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I just recently read the book (thought it was a very good read).
Honestly I don't know what I would do in that situation.
First off, you have a child who will DIE unless there is blood or marrow or organ transplant, secondly you have a child who has the means of saving/prolonging that life.
I think for me I would try everything to save the ill child, but I wouldn't "make" a "designer baby" soley for that purpose.
Makes ya think though.
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If you don't believe King Jesus and his saints will be riding white horses when he returns to the earth, then you can just walk and I will ride.
John G. Hall
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/24/2009 9:41:34 AM
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Sideways
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Well, for something like bone marrow donation... somebody has to donate or the child is going to die. And donation isn't a permanent injury, but it is painful in the short term.
Now donating an organ? That would have to be an older child's choice. That is a permanent impact on the donating child.
I can't say for sure what I would do in the bone marrow situation, because I really can see all sides of this argument. Blood donation is an easy call, nothing more then a needle poke for the donating child.
_____________________________
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. If you see a crocodile, don't forget to scream.
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/24/2009 9:55:15 AM
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Mrs.Wifey
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If we had a "preexisting" child who was a match, then I think I would use them for the donation, but I wouldn't get pregnant just to find a match.
Cord blood is an interesting thing. Another online friends nephew has leukemia and is going to need either bone marrow or cord blood(from the way I understand it anyway) and that nephew will soon have a cousin who they are thinking should be a match. So it's not only siblings who could be possible matches. Obviously the cousin wasn't conceived for that sole purpose, but it is nice that it's possible.
_____________________________
Ryanne- trying hard to be my husband's girlfriend and my daughter's mother.
I'll keep my guns, freedom, and money- you can keep "the change."
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/24/2009 10:08:46 AM
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Sideways
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For our family, we've been going back and forth about a 3rd child. We're not completely sure, although we're leaning towards stopping at two. If one of ours got sick, we might revisit the idea, but only on the understanding that the new baby would be loved and cherished no matter what. And to be honest, a new baby would give everyone something positive to look forward to, something happy to think about, even if they weren't a match.
But yes, cousins are also a possibility. You just have to hope that the other parents are ok with their child donating.
_____________________________
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. If you see a crocodile, don't forget to scream.
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/24/2009 10:28:37 AM
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bolt.
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I guess I'm odd-out here. I'd totally go ahead with a pregnancy and a baby if that were a feasible way to 'find' a donor for an older child who may otherwise die. And we'd even have to have a reversal to do it, and we'd probably need a new house too.
Of course he/she would be a beloved baby for his/her own sake -- but to me a child is a blessing, so there is no sense of a 'utilitarian' baby who's identity would be defined by the variety of motives we had as parents.
As to the consent issue: the baby is a person, a child and a sibling. There are inborn covenants in all those relationships, and I see an element of self-sacrifice in the sibling covenant that covers the idea of organ donation before an age of possible consent. In my personal theology, any child/teen/adult who refused a donation would be breaking covenant and sinning against their brother/sister. So, while I might talk around the issue of consent with a child/teen, I would make it clear that I considered one choice right and the other wrong. As a baby, I would consider it to be unwittingly living up to that covenant, not enforcing an unwanted procedure.
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>>audio link<<
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/24/2009 10:36:52 AM
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Mrs.Wifey
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You know, Pam. We could always change our minds  I would be more likely to say no, but DH says he would consider doing it and wouldn't have a moral problem.
I think if I hadn't read the book then my viewpoint might be different.
There are a lot of women who wouldn't stop breastfeeding in order to donate bone marrow to save someone life, but that's a decision that wouldn't even require a second thought for me. Of course I would wean a child for that... they would easily live on formula and someone else could die without my donation.
_____________________________
Ryanne- trying hard to be my husband's girlfriend and my daughter's mother.
I'll keep my guns, freedom, and money- you can keep "the change."
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/24/2009 10:55:15 AM
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Sideways
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If I were the doctor, I can't say that I would go through with the procedure if the donating child were old enough to tell me she refused. Hard call to make, but I might step back from that.
I'd wean in a second if it meant saving a 3rd party's life.
_____________________________
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. If you see a crocodile, don't forget to scream.
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/24/2009 11:31:00 AM
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Consecrated2God
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That's a tough call. I dislike the idea of making a child donate bone marrow, since it would be painful, or giving away an organ. Even if they gave their consent they would probably do it because mom and dad expected it of them, but I would worry about the psychological impact on them from that. On the other hand, if my older child were dying, I'd probably do just about anything to save their lives.
If I did something like this, I would be very discreet about the whole thing. I wouldn't tell anyone why I was doing it.
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"A faith that can be destroyed by suffering is not faith."--Richard Wurmbrand
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/24/2009 11:59:47 AM
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BlessedMamaofmany
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I would not make a baby for the specific reason of hoping for a match. Yes, siblings are more likely to match...but what if the baby does not? Make another? And another? That's a line I'm not willing to cross...but then again, the point is moot for me as well.
A child that was already born, matching a child that needed the donation? Hmmm...grayer area imho. It depends on what is to be donated I suppose. Blood, yes. An organ, no. Marrow...maybe. It's extremely painful yes, but iirc it's also much harder to find marrow matches than organ matches. (Someone correct me if I'm wrong) I think it would depend some on the age of the child as well.
No matter what, that's a position I just don't wanna be kwim?
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Atheism: The belief that there was nothing, nothing happened to nothing, then nothing magically exploded for no reason, creating everything, then a bunch of everything magically rearranged itself into self-replicating bits that then turned into dinosaurs
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/24/2009 1:15:22 PM
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IwillseekHim
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totally off topic but will someone tell me what kwim and iirc stand for???? I really think we need to start a thread for all these abbreviations that are used around here . I think I did figure out IMHO is in my honest opinion, am I correct, please advice. thanks
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RE: Conceiving one child to save another - 6/24/2009 1:18:44 PM
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bolt.
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>> Here's << a link about abbreviations
Know What I Mean
If I Remember Correctly
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Are you having trouble getting your daily dose of the life changing Word of God?
Let my friend Brian at Daily Audio Bible help you too.
>>audio link<<
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