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Dumped again - 10/12/2009 2:12:14 PM
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churchsinger
Posts: 31
Joined: 7/23/2009
Status: offline
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My boyfriend broke up with me this weekend. Anyone have any advice on dealing with this phase? I am so confused and fell alone and directionless. He ended it on a bad note. He even ended our friendship that existed before we dated. He said some terrible things to me, and I don't know if they are really legit or was he just angry about something else? I want to get some counseling but I don't have a church home anymore. I was going to his church while we were dating. This has been one of many guys that have broken up with me this year. I am beginning to think something is wrong with me.
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RE: Dumped again - 10/12/2009 2:53:22 PM
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jhuperetes
Posts: 472
Status: offline
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Other than the obvious spiritual requirements -
Get into a new exercise routine.
Volunteer.
Get a hobby, or expand on one.
Take a mini vacation with a book.
... Take a hiatus from dating. Concentrate on growing, spiritually, emotionally and physically.
Think about "what can I do now that I am not in a dating relationship?"
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RE: Dumped again - 10/13/2009 9:48:12 AM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 4325
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline
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churchsinger, I'm sorry you've had to go through that. It looks like you're having a tough year. Personally, I think that counseling is a great idea... not because there's anything wrong, but it's good to have a listening, supportive ear, and you can also get professional feedback.
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RE: Dumped again - 10/13/2009 2:44:55 PM
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John_O
Posts: 7801
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: churchsinger
My boyfriend broke up with me this weekend. ..... He ended it on a bad note. He even ended our friendship that existed before we dated.
A broken relationship will almost always destroy a pre-existing friendship. It's not you, it's just how life is. (The one time it will not is when both parties recognize that they don't fit and are able to regress to friendship. Otherwise one or the other keeps wanting more and it just creeps out teh one who doesn't want more)
quote:
I want to get some counseling but I don't have a church home anymore. I was going to his church while we were dating.
Go back to your old church.
quote:
This has been one of many guys that have broken up with me this year. I am beginning to think something is wrong with me.
You've actually been very successful. You've eliminated quite a few guys form teh pool of potential husbands. The ONLY one that's important though is the one you finally don't eliminate. You would never be happy with these other guys as you down't fit with them. They did you a huge favor by ending it.
If guys are asking you out then just continue being the sweet woman of God you are (in whatever way you are) and wait for the right one to finally ask. Of course if God directs you to work on an area then fix that area, but don't go changing willy-nilly just to impress the guys. KWIM?
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Dumped again - 10/13/2009 4:35:59 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 8033
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: churchsinger
My boyfriend broke up with me this weekend. Anyone have any advice on dealing with this phase? I am so confused and fell alone and directionless. He ended it on a bad note. He even ended our friendship that existed before we dated. He said some terrible things to me, and I don't know if they are really legit or was he just angry about something else? I want to get some counseling but I don't have a church home anymore. I was going to his church while we were dating. This has been one of many guys that have broken up with me this year. I am beginning to think something is wrong with me.
One good thing that came out of this is you have seen his true character before you married him. By then it would be too late to do anything about it but pray.
As for everything else...emmerse yourself in His Word, snuggle in His embrace, and just live with Him right now. He truly is the only way to get through this transition.
And chocolate never hurt either. 
_____________________________
When I've shown you that I just don't care
When I'm throwing punches in the air
When I'm broken down and I can't stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?
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RE: Dumped again - 10/13/2009 10:28:11 PM
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dinita777
Posts: 40
Joined: 7/21/2009
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: churchsinger
quote:
This has been one of many guys that have broken up with me this year. I am beginning to think something is wrong with me.
The year isn't even over yet! How can you have many guys break up with you? How many have you dated in 10 months? sorry but seems to me that if what you say is the truth, you are jumping from one relationship to another. get a grip, wait on God, and quit serial dating. You may just need to chill and get with God alone and stay alone for a while.
If you mis-wrote and you are not going from guy to guy then maybe this is your chance to have your own life, your own church, your own church family and not have it connected to someone else. Now that you are alone you can figure out which church is right and hopefully form some healthy friendships with people who can advise you.
Good luck..........
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