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Helping a Neighbor - 6/6/2008 12:29:12 AM
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MyMasquerade
Posts: 167
Joined: 5/16/2008
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I have a neighbor who beat on the door at 4:00 this morning trying to get away from the man she lives with. He had had her up all night just mentally abusing her. She said he had her standing in a corner for over three hours while he was in her face, not sure exactly what he was saying or doing.
I have been in an abusive relationship and I know from experience that you aren't going to leave a situation like that until you are ready. I didn't say much about him because I know we women will defend a man even if he shouldn't be defended.
So, I don't know what to do to help her. She says she is fed up with it, but they are back like nothing ever happened.
She wasn't bruised last night so I don't think he hit her last night or this morning. I couldn't get her to call the police. I talked to another neighbor and she said that they are doing meth. If that is really the problem they need help beyond what I can do for them. Then if she is doing drugs she is going to stay with him just so she can let high.
I guess what we really need is prayer for her and her kids. She is from New Orleans and they are totally different people.
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RE: Helping a Neighbor - 6/6/2008 3:52:03 AM
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manda59
Posts: 5433
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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If it was me, I wouldn't have opened the door (not at that time of night), but would have called the police.
In fact I did exactly that about 3 weeks ago. 1am and I heard knocking and sobbing at my front door, knew it was a local heroin addict, and instead of opening the door, I called the police, and then silently watched my front driveway from upstairs in case she was in any danger before they came.
MyMasquerade, do you have children at home, if so what age?
_____________________________
"I think my computer needs a "What Manda just said" button." 1mlasp July 2008
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RE: Helping a Neighbor - 6/6/2008 7:14:07 AM
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csl7037
Posts: 876
Joined: 3/24/2008
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I agree with manda. If I thought she really wanted help, it may be different.
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RE: Helping a Neighbor - 6/8/2008 1:26:04 AM
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MyMasquerade
Posts: 167
Joined: 5/16/2008
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The reason I opened the door was because when I looked out the window I saw both of them standing there and I assumed from the panic in the beating and doorbell ringing I heard that something was wrong, I was thinking maybe something was wrong with one of their kids. They didn't look like they were fighting.
I did tell her today not to involve me anymore unless she has made up her mind to leave. I told her that when her daughter is grown if she lives with a man who beats her, they can thank themselves for that because it is what they have taught her. Same thing with her sons, they may very well grow up to be abusers because it is what they know.
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RE: Helping a Neighbor - 7/7/2008 1:34:22 PM
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hjemerson
Posts: 207
Joined: 3/4/2008
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If they are in to METH, You and all the peole in the area are in DANGER!!! If they are cookiking the stuff you all will be hurt in a bust or accdent, You may want to protect your self and all near but made a phone call !! It may save you along with other lifes. I have worked for a state and understand the danger BTDT , Dont wait!!
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RE: Helping a Neighbor - 7/7/2008 1:43:08 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 4771
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
Status: offline
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quote:
I did tell her today not to involve me anymore unless she has made up her mind to leave. I told her that when her daughter is grown if she lives with a man who beats her, they can thank themselves for that because it is what they have taught her. Same thing with her sons, they may very well grow up to be abusers because it is what they know.
I'm sure that was helpful advice 
FYI, the last time I would want to be "involved" with a neighbor in an abusive situation is when she is leaving. You have a 10year old to protect and you don't want her abusive partner coming after you.
_____________________________
Ryanne
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