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How do we take you for granted? - 8/30/2008 1:32:55 AM
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slimon11
Posts: 201
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Hello, I was wondering if there are any qualities or things you do that you feel women often don't appericate or understand.
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RE: How do we take you for granted? - 8/30/2008 11:25:36 AM
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ajlewis
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From: State of Confusion
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quote:
ORIGINAL: slimon11
Hello, I was wondering if there are any qualities or things you do that you feel women often don't appericate or understand.
How about just being myself? Isn't that the most "common wisdom"?
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RE: How do we take you for granted? - 8/30/2008 4:54:44 PM
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MWD
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From: New Hampshire
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That's an extremely broad question. Do you have a specific case or situation in mind?
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"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn't exist."
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RE: How do we take you for granted? - 8/30/2008 5:59:00 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
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quote:
ORIGINAL: slimon11
things you do that you feel women often don't appericate.
They don't appreciate true sincerity in a man. Instead, they focus on the general negative that since the majority of the male species are "playas", "jerks", and so on, that everyone else also must be.
In spite of this, I have made it a goal to represent the opposite of this stereotype. At least one woman appreciates it, and that's all I care about.
_____________________________
The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: How do we take you for granted? - 8/30/2008 6:14:17 PM
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willfs
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This sounds like something that guys should be asking the woman in their lives. I hear that woman feel this more than men.
Maybe continue to seek out to fulfill his needs. ONe way: Many guys really like a woman who he can do fun/recreational stuff with. So always continue to try his stuff with him and to develop some kind of activity that you both can do together. Watching Sports Center for hours with probably isn't the answer. He probably needs some activities where he can have some "guy time". But showing interest in his hobbies and recreation and trying to find something he likes that you can participate in with him is one way to show you don't take him for granted.
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RE: How do we take you for granted? - 8/31/2008 12:15:33 AM
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OneJohn410
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quote:
ORIGINAL: slimon11
Hello, I was wondering if there are any qualities or things you do that you feel women often don't appericate or understand.
Hey Ms. Slim Onones!
Your query is quite thought provoking in the context of consistency and being taken for granted.
There was a comment of just being yourself. That, plus thoughts after reading everything got me thinking- once a guy is befriended and is better known, arent' there things that reinforce your knowledge about him? That's to say that in a given situatiion, where something is needed and Mr. X is on the scene, it's usually typical of him to offer assistance.
Mr. X is just being himself, and is generally known as a cheerful, giving person. So as time goes on, X has a consistency for being that kind of person. So it's less and less remarkable that X is seen around town helping jump-start peoples cars, because that's just how he is. No one knows what that kind of selfless service requires of X but himself. How do you go about thanking X for repairing your car for the umpteenth time, having called him that many times? He tends to want to refuse much of anything for the help- and lately you've felt like you are providing him the favor for an outlet for his extra energy and keen desire to want to help out whenever your car fails to work right.
There it is. X doesn't understand why the only time he receives a phone call is when something is broken down and Ms. Problems would greatly appreciate his help in fixing it. He's only trying to be himself, yet everyone seems to have boxed him in to a Mr. Handyman role.
At the same time, the women of X's world once have greatly appreciated his help, and now that appreciation is wearing off because wow! this guy is good and knowledgeable, and fixing things must be a way of life for him because he knows so much.
... Mr. X!??! What a surprise! What are you doing here? (Just trying to get to know people, Ms. Problems, he thinks). Hey, thanks again for unclogging my dishwasher! I haven't had any problems with it since then. I don't think there's anything broken around here. He he he!  (Just your social skills, ma'am).
Mr. X just hasn't pushed to let it be known that he's a former disco king on the dance floor, or former pie eating contest winner at the fair, and so people talk to him as for how they know him, and it's an ugly little box he's in thanks to others and himself.
Give any guy that question and typically the unique things about him that he considers sets him apart from a lot of other guys will be the same qualities or things he feels are under-appreciated or not understood.
If I'm fixing your car, btw, you'll likely be really impressed at my safe car-jacking skills, and seeing its safe to be under your wheels, you'll surely be helping me out with the large repair and not inside talking on the phone. 
OneJohn410
_____________________________
When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, "Let's go to Bethlehem! Let's see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about. Luke 2:15 (NLT)
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RE: How do we take you for granted? - 9/2/2008 3:48:48 PM
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Coffee_Drinker
Posts: 109
Joined: 5/20/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: slimon11
Hello, I was wondering if there are any qualities or things you do that you feel women often don't appreciate or understand.
Through my years of marriage, I finally realized that we are individuals that seem to work towards a common goal - that goal just happens to be what we are doing together to achieve whatever goal that is. Be it rearranging the yard, painting a room, or figuring out what will be for dinner. I have, through the years, felt unappreciated for some things. Personally, I think it was my own insecurities and/or selfishness. Insecurities because we all like to have our ego's stroked every now and then, and selfishness because maybe she was having a bad day and I wanted the pity party all to myself.
Sometimes I have to consciously think to tell my wife that she is beautiful or that I love her. If a woman needs that kind of "feel good" stroking why doesn't a man? Of course, you're not going to tell your man that he is beautiful. But, as a man, I like to feel "special" sometimes too. So my wife will "act" like she is interested when I tell her about a really "kick-butt" game of Chess I played. When in reality she would rather watch paint dry. But, it is the thought that counts and she put forth the effort.
Make you man feel "special" sometimes but, don't wait on him hand and foot. God gave him legs and arms too. It takes two to make marriage work - not one.
_____________________________
Jesus Christ is the Son of God.
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RE: How do we take you for granted? - 9/4/2008 2:59:45 AM
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Raptorman
Posts: 116
Joined: 9/21/2005
From: Colorado
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Well, if there is anything that I can think of, it would be addressed to a lot of the single girls. I have suffered it a couple of times myself.
It's when a guy tries to let a girl know he's interested in her, romantically, yet she completely turns away. Of course, there are times when this is a good response. If the man is not of good character or not a Christian, if you don't have enough time for a relationship, if he's a complete stranger, or you already have a boyfriend, it's wise to say no. But in many cases, guys who are decent enough get turned down immediately, without remorse. The girl does not even give him an opportunity to prove himself. He may or may not have what it takes to earn her heart, but he's not allowed even a fighting chance. Once he makes it clear that he would like to pursue her romantically, she backs off and says she's only interested in being "just friends." She likes having him as a friend, even a close one, as long as he keeps himself at arm's length and doesn't dare attempt to date her. I apologize if this sounds paranoid, but sometimes it appears that she is taking the benefits of friendship from him, but she doesn't want to work to fulfill any of his wants or needs (for romance, intimate companionship, a possible future spouse, etc.). That might not be convenient for her.
Ladies, I can say from personal experience that it hurts. Deeply.  Yes, even men can feel "used" or stomped on, and feel emotional pain from rejection. Normally we just don't let you know about it. We usually can't be the knights in shining armor that you want to marry one day, but if a guy cares enough for you, he will do whatever it takes to aspire to that goal. A little reciprocation would be nice, now and then. If he's a nice enough guy and he fancies you, I would recommend giving him a chance. Nothing big. Just a couple of hours at a coffee house, or at the park, sort of a "test date." It would show him by your actions (which famously speak louder than words) that you appreciate the gesture and are willing to give it a try. You never know what might happen.
_____________________________
"Satan himself trembles when the weakest saint is on his knees."
-Unknown
"All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you."
-Gandalf, "Lord of the Rings"
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RE: How do we take you for granted? - 9/4/2008 5:47:00 AM
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dinomax55
Posts: 242
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From: O-H-I-O
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How about not appreciating our efforts to make your life better?
< Message edited by dinomax55 -- 9/4/2008 7:02:12 AM >
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We can never achieve perfection.. but if we chase perfection we will catch excellence.
-Vince Lombardi
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RE: How do we take you for granted? - 9/6/2008 10:42:32 AM
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makarizo
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every once in a while, I like to be reminded that I really am the real superman.
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RE: How do we take you for granted? - 9/11/2008 2:25:56 PM
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evryknee
Posts: 289
Joined: 3/9/2008
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quote:
How about not appreciating our efforts to make your life better?
Men spend singlehood yearning for the one they love. When they marry, the "y" becomes silent 
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RE: How do we take you for granted? - 9/13/2008 5:18:16 PM
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macramepoet
Posts: 9
Joined: 4/14/2005
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My wife has never been so ti that I couldn't make another step.
Practically every evening, after I've got the house in order....the dishes done, etc....and have unwound from the day, and am just crawling into bed, she decides she needs something. Now, she is confined to a wheelchair, and therefore is high maintenance. But there are always a couple of hours before I crash. Why wait until I' pulling up the covers? That act makes me feel like I simply don't matter.
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RE: How do we take you for granted? - 9/13/2008 5:19:55 PM
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macramepoet
Posts: 9
Joined: 4/14/2005
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Oops! should have been "tired"...not "ti"
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I do not do the laundry because I've messed up girly things in the past (I'm the only male in our family!) due to wrong detergent, heat, etc. So I flat out won't do the laundry, and I take mine to the dry cleaners so it's not such a large burden.
