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How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit on" by the opposite sex?

 
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All Forums >> [Life] >> Marriage >> How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit on" by the opposite sex?
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[Poll]

How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit on" by the opposite sex?


My spouse gets "hit on" all the time!
  13% (4)
My spouse gets "hit on" some of the time.
  36% (11)
My spouse gets "hit on" rarely - thank God!
  13% (4)
My spouse does not get "hit on" - thank God!
  36% (11)


Total Votes : 30


(last vote on : 7/1/2008 1:25:56 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit on&qu... - 6/23/2008 8:48:11 PM   
DLight

 

Posts: 6
Joined: 10/19/2005
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My husband is quite handsome to me and apparently to other women.

Thus, he is constantly confronted with women "hitting on him" at work and giving him lustful stares when he's alone and while he's with me. Most surprising to me is that they DO NOT care about the fact that he's married and they IGNORE his wedding ring!!!

Thank God he submits to the Holy Spirit daily because the LORD has really helped him with standing firm and refusing their lustful ways. And, he keeps me updated on a regular basis regarding "run-ins" with women, which has helped me to trust him a lot.

Do any of you encounter the same situation? Why does it seem lik respect for marital sanctity and wedding rings has decreased?

Thanks for your responses and prayers.
Post #: 1
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/23/2008 9:22:33 PM   
SmyLynn1

 

Posts: 21
Joined: 6/7/2008
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Unfortunately there are a LOT of women who ignore wedding rings. My husband has been told by a couple of women that he doesn't really love me and that he should be with them. The unfortunate thing in my situation is that he encourages their behaviour.

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Post #: 2
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/23/2008 9:34:30 PM   
PatricksPeaches


Posts: 264
Joined: 5/13/2008
From: Michigan
Status: offline
I asked my hubby if he gets hit on by the opposite sex. He said no and if he did he didn't know it. He is 6ft 1in and weighs 300 lbs. He is a very intimidating looking person, so maybe that's why. lol

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Post #: 3
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/23/2008 11:01:01 PM   
jaimestarcross

 

Posts: 796
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline
I know of someone who has that problem on rare occasion ... he starts witnessing to them right there on the spot!

Something was said about him witnessing and he retorted with...
"If she can approach me and try to seduce me, then I can witness to her" - she don't want to be witnessed to, then she shouldn't be trying to talk to me about meeting her at some hotel!
Post #: 4
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/24/2008 5:53:10 AM   
McGuinessMagee


Posts: 4213
Joined: 4/13/2005
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I have been standing beside my husband a couple of times when women have tried hitting on him. Some women truly don't have any respect for whether a man is married or not.

Dh has had clients proposition him and one even flashed him to 'thank' him for the work he'd just completed in her house. I have gotten beyond being shocked by now.

Kylie

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They trusted in Him and defied the king's command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God.
Post #: 5
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/24/2008 7:58:04 AM   
3cappuccinosmom


Posts: 2569
Joined: 4/12/2005
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My husband gets hit on at times. He certainly doesn't encourage the behavior. Most of the time he's totally unaware that it's even happening. If he notices, he has many disdainful things to say about the stupidity of flirtatious, promiscuous folks.

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Post #: 6
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/24/2008 9:12:45 AM   
isaacsmom


Posts: 1847
Joined: 12/2/2005
Status: online
The disregard for the sanctitiy of marriage is incredibly sad. Several years ago, a woman that my husband worked with started pursuing him. She even tried to trap him in elevators and file closets and such. He fended her off, but I was shocked at how brazen this woman was. Hubby was so flustered and floored that he went to our pastor for guidance on how to handle the situation. The woman knew good and well he was married . . . . in fact, she didn't start the pursuit until one day when the boss saw DH and I out to dinner, and he went back to the office and mentioned that I was an attractive young wife. It was like a switch for her for some reason and she went after him. I was very angry with the woman, but proud of how DH handled it. Not that I expected any less from him. I'm am truly blessed and thankful to have him.

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Post #: 7
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/24/2008 9:04:16 PM   
42servehymn


Posts: 427
Joined: 4/16/2005
From: Littleton, Colorado
Status: offline
My husband is a Courier for Fedex and apparently to many women, old, young, whatever, this makes him fair game. It is such a double standard to me because if a man treated a woman the way my husband has been treated she would scream sexual harassment. He takes it with a grain of salt and says it doesn't bother him but it bothers me. He does not encourage it other than to be friendly which some women misread.

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Post #: 8
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/24/2008 9:47:23 PM   
4IMPersuaded

 

Posts: 424
Joined: 11/17/2007
From: Florence, KY
Status: offline
My dh has such a precious heart, but is quite heavy. He has actually told me that he is afraid to lose weight because his father couldn't resist an affair that ended his parents' marriage and he's not sure he would have the strength to resist, either.

Thankfully he is in the process of addressing his health issues-- both physical and emotional. I look forward to the process and seeing him grow in his confidence in the Lord!
Post #: 9
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/25/2008 4:42:41 PM   
buckifn

 

Posts: 1643
Joined: 5/23/2006
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If a person's weight is the determining factor in the decision to have or not have an affair I would say that marriage could be in very deep trouble already.

It doesn't matter who else does or does not find my wife or myself as attractive...we are committed to each other.period.
Post #: 10
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/25/2008 5:45:37 PM   
DenimDiva


Posts: 6019
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: 42servehymn

My husband is a Courier for Fedex and apparently to many women, old, young, whatever, this makes him fair game. It is such a double standard to me because if a man treated a woman the way my husband has been treated she would scream sexual harassment. He takes it with a grain of salt and says it doesn't bother him but it bothers me. He does not encourage it other than to be friendly which some women misread.


I used to work for UPS. Quite often the guys would talk about how much the women hit on them. Out of about 10 different drivers that I would deal with, I think only one of them was unmarried. Sadly, most didn't mind the flirtatious women.

However, there were those who did not like the flirting at all.
Post #: 11
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/25/2008 7:52:08 PM   
timzagain

 

Posts: 21
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
Thankfully my DH's business has him pretty much surrounded by men. No huge concern about workplace flirtations.

However, there were a couple of incidents in our social circles that really made my hair stand on end. First, a woman I considered a friend practically threw herself at my DH while I was sitting right there next to him! A few weeks ago, another "friend" greeted DH with a hug, and everytime DH tried to move away, she practically pinned him to the wall, rubbing her ample bosom on him. Eventually DH shoved her out of the way. I was making my way towards her to deal with her myself but DH's shove took care of that. In both cases, we were attending our kids' sporting events. So not only were the women, being disrespectful to me and my marriage, they were also being disrespectful to all the kids involved, theirs and mine!

The most outrageous hitting-on episode I ever witnessed happened a few years ago. DH and I were visiting an exhibition together and one of the male exhibitors was making some very obvious overtures towards my DH! Then he had the nerve to smile and wink at me conspiratorially! That was before we became Christians. I had to drag DH out of the place in a hurry to avoid the cuss-fest that I was sure was going to happen. Thankfully, DH was shocked speechless and he isn't speechless often!!
Post #: 12
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/26/2008 8:43:52 AM   
DaveW


Posts: 3809
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
Status: online
AFAIK, DW has only been hit on once - back when the twins were infants. (one of the twins is mom to our 2 wondeful granddaughters) The 2 guys hitting on her saw the kids, saw me and pursued her anyway. She turned them down flat.

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Post #: 13
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/27/2008 7:17:05 AM   
McGuinessMagee


Posts: 4213
Joined: 4/13/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The most outrageous hitting-on episode I ever witnessed happened a few years ago. DH and I were visiting an exhibition together and one of the male exhibitors was making some very obvious overtures towards my DH!


We've had a similar experience to that while out at a restaurant together one night.

It really is very disconcerting to think that not even having your spouse right there next to you is a disincentive to some.

Kylie

_____________________________

They trusted in Him and defied the king's command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God.
Post #: 14
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/29/2008 8:34:00 AM   
Sadey

 

Posts: 524
Joined: 7/25/2007
Status: offline
It is sexual harressment because its all about power and control. And especially desperate if they do it while the wife is standing there. They also feel powerful if they can shock. This is not about lust or sex, its about intimidation and control.
Post #: 15
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/29/2008 9:45:21 PM   
Carleejoan


Posts: 998
Joined: 9/1/2007
From: Canada
Status: offline
Here's my interesting story. My husband went to heaven after suffering with cancer for the last 3 years. What was interesting that two neighbour ladies one in the process of planning to leave her husband and the other her husband left her as he was addicted to crack. All of sudden they heard my did fifth step counselling at the gov't rehab center and they ran to him for advice on their situations and to "recognize" (what they said to me) that my husband is a "good" man. My husband's condition deteriorted over time but one neighbour lady called him over to her house to "check" the oil in her truck. Oh brother, I called my husband on his cell to ask him what was going on. I thought how blatant can you be?? Women stop at nothing. I felt anything they could say to him they could say in front of me too so why the "hidden front" in contacting him. The other neighbour was really negative about my husband's fighting cancer with the chemo and acted cold but she recognized and wanted his "advice" privately for something about her husband's spending habits, that it could possibly be drug addiction. Whatever, women can be weirder than life is all I can say.

< Message edited by Carleejoan -- 6/29/2008 9:52:50 PM >
Post #: 16
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/30/2008 3:28:53 AM   
OneOfHisJewels


Posts: 1794
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
Status: online
I just hope no one here is confusing common courtesy and politeness with hitting on, because whether one is young, old, single, married, male, female, I will be polite to them and have a conversation with them. However, I am very respectful of marriages and married men, and consider married men completely hands off. However, I do TALK to the married men at church, and their wives as well, but the wives aren't necesarily standing right there every time I ever said one sentence to their husband, but they are in the vicinity. I consider married men completely hands off, but I do have couples that I am friends with where I consider myself friends with both the husband and the wife, however, I would still not put myself in a compromising situation with someone's husband, or act innapropriately towards them.

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Post #: 17
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/30/2008 9:06:13 AM   
HenriettasCat

 

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Jewels - may I add to that. When I was single I was very fearful of relationships and very scary to single men (apparently I had this -"don't even come near me" look). However, a married man meant 'safe' to me and so I was very happy and relaxed around them. In many ways, at that time I was looking for a father figure, not a husband - still messed up, but in a different way

I'd have been absolutely mortified if any of their wives took this as me 'hitting' on them

Post #: 18
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/30/2008 2:02:31 PM   
slushie


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Yup, Jewels. Good point. I have a good friend who is a pastor at our church and a lot of people go to him for advice. He's very friendly and nice and polite to them - never more than he should be, but for some reason a few of the young ladies have developed crushes on him. He doesn't know that. But he's very young and good looking so that may be part of it.

The thing is that I think that they do think that his kindness to them is because he likes them in some way.

But like some of the posters said, a scenario where the lady is clearly rubbing her ample bosom on someone else's husband, now that's scary.

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RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 6/30/2008 2:27:26 PM   
Tinkerbell_


Posts: 5949
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: online
That's why it's up to us as single women to not do anything to create such an atmosphere and if someone is ill at ease with us talking to her husband (warranted or not) then we need to graciously bow out of a relationship with said man.

It may hurt but oh well...their marriage is more important.

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RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 7/1/2008 12:30:18 AM   
Christian30

 

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From: Stafford, TX (Houston suburb)
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We are in our 50s and I think my wife is beautiful, but in our 20s and 30s my wife was stunningly beautiful, and was known as the most beautiful Japanese woman in our city (among members of the Japanese community). Anyway, she used to get hit on from time to time, but would always handle it graciously. Oddly enough, 2 of the times were in my presence and she was in late stages of pregnancy. I just took her away from the situations and she agreed, and we didn't make a scene.
Post #: 21
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 7/1/2008 7:07:26 PM   
DLight

 

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Hi,

Thanks for your responses. I definitely know the difference between being friendly and flirting. It's all in the way that a person talks to your spouse, and many of the women get upset when he shows them a picture of me.

The remarks have lessened since he's sent a clear message that he's not interested-Thank God.

But, I have also realized that the enemy will work in any way possible to lure us to give into the flesh, and sin against God.

How do you handle people from church or supposed Christians when they flirt with your spouse (or how would you handle that situation)?

Thanks.
Post #: 22
RE: How many of you have a spouse that gets "hit o... - 7/2/2008 7:26:20 AM   
slushie


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Depends on the manner in which they flirt. If it's over the top, like - well, you should know what I mean - then stop it right away.

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Post #: 23
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