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Male to female and female to male - 10/25/2009 1:34:51 PM
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DeliveredDarling
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ministry opportunities?
I understand that many churches have "protocols" on minister to those of the opposite sex because of appropriateness. My question here is, does it really matter and should it matter, if a person's soul is on the line?
_____________________________
"Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed: but he puts it on a lampstand, in order that those who come in may see the light."
Luke 8:16
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/25/2009 3:16:02 PM
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rcjames
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I do not at my Church.
But if a person request a male or female, the request will be honore: at least for the forst conference.
As you mentioned, most counseling sessions are about the eternal soul, and who one talks to does not matter, but the truth of the Gospel does.
Thanks
RC
edited for spelling
< Message edited by rcjames -- 10/25/2009 3:26:19 PM >
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/25/2009 4:28:41 PM
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DeliveredDarling
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I should probably be specific here. Yesterday, one of my bus kids (a ministry) Dad's asked me how to get saved. What a praise! (I have been praying for this man for months!) It opened the door right there to share the gospel, which I did. He shared with me, that he has a drinking problem, (I am a recovered alcoholic) so i feel like God has something up his sleeve here.... Anyways, he did not totally accept the gospel, however he is willing to seek further. I told him that my husband and I would pick him up on Wednesday and bring him to our prayer group so that we could pray for him. He is willing to go.
The bad news is that my husband has to work and does not want me to pick him up alone (even though my daughter would be with us). He thinks the guy has a thing for, to which I really laugh at.....
I can find another man (from our mission team) that will go with me, I'm just not too sure how comfortable this man will be with that.
My thinking here....It shouldn't matter A)whether my husband goes or not, B) I go alone.
This man's eternal destination is more important than what anyone else thinks.
I do not want to disrespect my husband, but I really don't think he is considering the magnitude of the opportunity set before this man. In other words,,,,it's not about us.
If it's a safety issue he is really concerned about, If God brought this opportunity, then God will certainly protect me in carrying out His will.
I just wonder how many times, opportunities like this come along and are cast off because of "appropriateness" issues.
I can't find any supporting scripture for the likes of these "rules". I understand them, but I just don't see biblical support.
In fact, the exact opposite---Jesus with the woman at the well....
_____________________________
"Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed: but he puts it on a lampstand, in order that those who come in may see the light."
Luke 8:16
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/25/2009 4:39:14 PM
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drmark
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quote:
This man's eternal destination is in God's Sovereign hands. Yet it appears God is sovereignly working through dd for his salvation. I do agree that her husband's wishes are important in this matter.
_____________________________
Jeremiah 31:31-34. The time is NOW, fellow saints!
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/25/2009 6:28:49 PM
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rawr.ben
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Often, it is not about the "appropriateness" of the situation, but simply being on guard. Not that something may happen, per se, but what if suddenly this man turns against you? Not in the car physically, but starts to claim that you were having an affair with him?
Now you have X amount of minutes alone with him in a car unaccounted for.
I know it sounds silly, BUT, I have seen this very thing take place. It was a pastor driving around a young lady. She claimed he made advances on her. He denied it. But he could not account for the time that he spent alone with her.
He lost his job over it.
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rawr.ben
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 5:33:45 AM
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DeliveredDarling
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quote:
I think it's a shame that you would dismiss your husband like that.
This man's salvation does not hinge on *you*. You can minister to him in a wise way, and in a way that maintains respect for your husband's feelings.
Interesting that this is the aspect you focus on. Not funny as in hysterically laughing, funny in an odd way., especially since cultural barriers are being broken here.
And no, this man's salvation ISN'T dependent on me. However, there is the issue of my obedience.
The enemy has such a way to twist and turn things, that "dismissing" my husband becomes a focal point rather than the real issue of obedience.
Do we really need more rules?
_____________________________
"Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed: but he puts it on a lampstand, in order that those who come in may see the light."
Luke 8:16
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 5:36:10 AM
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DeliveredDarling
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A man from my mission team agreed to go with me, so that problem is solved.
However, the same issue could come up again in the future and I still take issue with the male to female, female to male opportunities.
_____________________________
"Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed: but he puts it on a lampstand, in order that those who come in may see the light."
Luke 8:16
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 6:54:54 AM
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DeliveredDarling
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quote:
Often, it is not about the "appropriateness" of the situation, but simply being on guard.
This is a good example. Can we be too guarded sometimes? Here is some encouraging scripture:
1Pe 3:13 Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good?
1Pe 3:14 But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. AND DO NOT FEAR THEIR INTIMIDATION, AND DO NOT BE TROUBLED,
1Pe 3:15 but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always {being} ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;
1Pe 3:16 and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame.
I think we can worry too much about what others will think or say and it can hinder us from doing what we are supposed to do.
People will always talk. They talk about you if they like you, they talk more about you when they don't like you. Vs 13-14 speak directly too that.
Why do we put what man thinks above what the Word says?
This is a frustrating topic for me.
_____________________________
"Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed: but he puts it on a lampstand, in order that those who come in may see the light."
Luke 8:16
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 7:09:20 AM
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GrahamCracker
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Once, when I was in my 20s, I had picked up some kids from a certain home taking them to church. The mother was having troubles with her husband and had expressed the desire for counseling with my pastor. Apparently, he had refused. Then I found out later that she wanted the pastor to come to her home and he wouldn't do it except at church.
She told me he was violent and called me late one evening begging me to come get her and the kids and take her anywhere, just so as to get her away from him. The voice of a sobbing, hysterical woman was more than I could handle but my father was near the phone. He was saying, "Don't you go over there." I kept refusing and the next time I went by the house, the family had moved.
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Larry
"Clarity before agreement." Dennis Prager
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 8:02:02 AM
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Consecrated2God
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quote:
A man from my mission team agreed to go with me, so that problem is solved.
Am I missing something? You are going to be alone with a man from your mission team that you aren't married to, and that's okay, but it's not okay for you to be alone with this other guy? Why is that?
_____________________________
"A faith that can be destroyed by suffering is not faith."--Richard Wurmbrand
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 8:30:00 AM
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drmark
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quote:
However, the same issue could come up again in the future and I still take issue with the male to female, female to male opportunities. And your husband may as well, dd! Best you all work this through if God is planning to call on you in the future like this.
quote:
And no, this man's salvation ISN'T dependent on me. However, there is the issue of my obedience. Yes, indeed. And this man's salvation may be "dependent on you" at this particular time if you are the "chosen vessel" God wishes to use. Whenever the word "Sovereign" is thrown around, I begin to scrutinize ulterior motives just a bit closer...
_____________________________
Jeremiah 31:31-34. The time is NOW, fellow saints!
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 9:10:42 AM
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Sideways
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
quote:
A man from my mission team agreed to go with me, so that problem is solved.
Am I missing something? You are going to be alone with a man from your mission team that you aren't married to, and that's okay, but it's not okay for you to be alone with this other guy? Why is that?
She won't be alone with anyone. There will be three people in the room.
I think it sounds like a good compromise.
_____________________________
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. If you see a crocodile, don't forget to scream.
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 10:26:48 AM
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Consecrated2God
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I thought the issue was picking him up? There won't be three people there on the way to the man's house to pick him up.
_____________________________
"A faith that can be destroyed by suffering is not faith."--Richard Wurmbrand
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 1:45:17 PM
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DeliveredDarling
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quote:
at problem is solved.
Am I missing something? You are going to be alone with a man from your mission team that you aren't married to, and that's okay, but it's not okay for you to be alone with this other guy? Why is that?
His wife is going too.
_____________________________
"Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed: but he puts it on a lampstand, in order that those who come in may see the light."
Luke 8:16
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 1:46:47 PM
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Sideways
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Ok, I missed that. But the OP says the daughter will also be in the car. How old is the daughter? Seems kinda hard to start an affair with a child in the backseat.
_____________________________
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. If you see a crocodile, don't forget to scream.
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 2:13:11 PM
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DeliveredDarling
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quote:
Seems kinda hard to start an affair with a child in the backseat.
She's almost 12.
quote:
It is important because you took vows before God to honor and cherish the man you marry.
If you laugh him off and do as you please, that in itself is a poor witness.
Yes, I did take the vows. However, I gave my life to Christ and He is my number one priority.
I find it pretty ludicrous to think anything inappropriate about this man. He is a hardcore alcoholic and literally from the slums. He needs Jesus, pure and simple.
In my husband's thinking, he is not considering my obedience to the Father. He is worried this guy will try something with me, even with my daughter in the car....
_____________________________
"Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed: but he puts it on a lampstand, in order that those who come in may see the light."
Luke 8:16
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 3:12:51 PM
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Nate79
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I don't think this is an either/or situation. Your husband's perspective and this man's salvation are both to be valued. Perhaps there is a compromise that could be reached.
To be honest, I'd respond the same way your husband did. It's only natural for a man to be concerned for his bride's safety when traveling with a man he hasn't met. We men are protectors by nature and, when it comes down to it, what's a 12 yr old girl going to be able to do to help if a full grown man did try something? If I was your husband, I'd try to work something out with work or to have another adult ride with you.
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 3:31:56 PM
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rcjames
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DeliveredDarling
Why do we put what man thinks above what the Word says?
This is a frustrating topic for me.
As well it should frustrate you DeliveredDarling.
Please understand this; there is no way to satisfy the suspicious and cynical crowd that that infiltrate the Church and call themselves Christians.
When I started in the ministry at my first Church nearly 47 years ago, I tried for nearly a year to please all the people with thier rules and regulations and suspicions and gossip and backbiting and carnal thinking, and etc. ad nausuem.
So I started doing it by the book (Bible), and told the folks to get with the program or get gone. Attendance dropped from 45 on Sunday morning to around 15, and two months later we were adding on to the building with a Sunday am running over 120. I found a new Pastor, resigned and started another Church with the same goals. Now I am on the verge of retiring and have founded 31 Churches in 9 countries and not one of them yeild to gossip, inuendo, vain imaginations, nor nonsense.
DD, you do what you and your spouse feel is the proper thing to do, and do not let the naysayers stop you from ministering the Word of God.
Of course that just might be me.
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 3:37:32 PM
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Consecrated2God
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quote:
His wife is going too.
That makes sense. I don't mind it when people set rules like that for themselves, as long as they are consistent, kwim? If it's a standard you guys have, that you aren't alone with someone with the opposite sex, I understand that. A lot of ministers have those kinds of standards. But if it's only directed towards certain people: e.g. you can't be alone with that particular guy, and you don't apply that across the board to all situations, I think that would be different. However, sometimes mercy has to prevail over our rules. I remember hearing about a situation where a pastor's wife said that if her husband saw a woman from the church with her car broken down at the side of the road, he wouldn't stop to help unless she was with him. A lot of the women were really offended by that. At that point I'd hope my husband would stop and help, and who cares what anyone thinks, as long as Jesus knows that he was doing the right thing.
_____________________________
"A faith that can be destroyed by suffering is not faith."--Richard Wurmbrand
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