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Miss, ma'am, miss, dear? - 9/3/2009 12:42:03 AM
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keithyhuntington
Posts: 814
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From: Tulsa, Okla.
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So as I've said before, I work in the product fulfillment department of a not to be nAmes ministry, majority of my job is taking orders for products over phone. All of my job is taking calls for the ministry. It seems like 9 of 10 callers want to cAll me ma'am, miss, honey, dear, and so on (which if I was a woman... I would have had to have smoked 6 packs a day for 40 years... My voice is somewhat scratchy and what have you)
I don't take it all to personnally, because majority of people who work on phones at ministries usually are women, so I guess you just assume. But it can get old when older men start getting flirty... 
Up to this point I've just been avoiding it altogether, but have thought about referring to the caller as the opposite gender as well, and Seeing if they get he hint. Heh.
My faborite is they ask me my name, I say "my name is Keith" they reply "well ma'am, isn't that a guys name?!"  uuuuhhhhh DUH! heh
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Jesus Christ please help me 'cause i'm lonely. Whats the use in living, if you can't make a good living?
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RE: Miss, ma'am, miss, dear? - 9/3/2009 1:39:55 PM
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BelleWeather
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Introduce yourself as Mister Keith, emphasis on the Mister.
After that, if the caller refers to you as Miss, you can assume they aren't listening to you in the first place. Which, as a customer service worker, shouldn't be much of a surprise.
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We think we fathom the depths
when we are just skimming the surface with our finger.
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Miss, ma'am, miss, dear? - 9/6/2009 2:57:11 PM
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PinkCarnations
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I used to have a male boss named Kelly. When I would transfer people to him, I would tell them that I was transferring them to Mr. _______'s office
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RE: Miss, ma'am, miss, dear? - 9/6/2009 9:57:55 PM
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bolt.
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From: Canada
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"Hello, not to be named ministry, this is Keith. How can I help you?"
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RE: Miss, ma'am, miss, dear? - 9/7/2009 2:53:39 AM
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richartrod
Posts: 192
Joined: 4/21/2009
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Keith,
Just take it all in stride, and per your opening post, don't take it too seriously or too personally. It seems that some women refer to people on the phone "honey" or "dear" out of habit, regardless of the other person's gender. I have been called "honey" or "dear" by operators at other well-known ministries I've supported in the past, and recently by California's unemployment office while renewing my jobless claim. Both terms are also used affectionately by my mom and other women in my extended family, so I'm probably way more accustomed to it.
In the big picture, be thankful that they are not criticizing you with naughty words like Van Jones, and that UN-like Van Jones, you still have a job. 
Rich Rodriguez
West Covina, CA
www.pandapolis.com
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RE: Miss, ma'am, miss, dear? - 9/8/2009 7:32:33 AM
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keithyhuntington
Posts: 814
Joined: 7/7/2009
From: Tulsa, Okla.
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what about when men call me honey, dear, and sugar?
not to sound homophobic... but it freaks me out. lol.
old woman call everyone honey and dear... its cute. so that doesnt bother me...
_____________________________
Jesus Christ please help me 'cause i'm lonely. Whats the use in living, if you can't make a good living?
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RE: Miss, ma'am, miss, dear? - 9/8/2009 8:42:25 AM
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BelleWeather
Posts: 721
Joined: 7/29/2009
From: New York City
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quote:
ORIGINAL: keithyhuntington
what about when men call me honey, dear, and sugar?
not to sound homophobic...but it freaks me out. lol.
old woman call everyone honey and dear... its cute. so that doesnt bother me...
Not to sound flipant...but maybe it's best to take your misidentification by customers with a grain of salt, and actually start laughing it off.
_____________________________
We think we fathom the depths
when we are just skimming the surface with our finger.
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RE: Miss, ma'am, miss, dear? - 9/26/2009 5:00:54 PM
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leanboy
Posts: 22
Joined: 8/25/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: keithyhuntington
So as I've said before, I work in the product fulfillment department of a not to be nAmes ministry, majority of my job is taking orders for products over phone. All of my job is taking calls for the ministry. It seems like 9 of 10 callers want to cAll me ma'am, miss, honey, dear, and so on (which if I was a woman... I would have had to have smoked 6 packs a day for 40 years... My voice is somewhat scratchy and what have you)
I don't take it all to personnally, because majority of people who work on phones at ministries usually are women, so I guess you just assume. But it can get old when older men start getting flirty...
Up to this point I've just been avoiding it altogether, but have thought about referring to the caller as the opposite gender as well, and Seeing if they get he hint. Heh.
My faborite is they ask me my name, I say "my name is Keith" they reply "well ma'am, isn't that a guys name?!" uuuuhhhhh DUH! heh
I hear ya man....I sometimes get people calling me ma'am on the phone and I have to correct them. Only what bothers me more is the ma'am thing and not my voice....lol. I actually don't like the whole ma'am/sir formality. Eventhough I was born in part of the country where people always use sir/ma'am, I hate it when people address me as sir, especially that I'm still young and therefore sometimes have to politely ask them not to.
Anyways back to your point, yeah don't worry about it, you're not alone and I'm sure there are some women who are mistaken as men on the phone. I don't know about you but I sometimes feel as if my voice hasn't really deepened as much as I would've liked since hittting puberty and that may be the reason.
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RE: Miss, ma'am, miss, dear? - 10/3/2009 11:31:16 PM
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stimulus
Posts: 90
Joined: 6/4/2005
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When I was a kid, callers to our home would assume I was my father. My voice, like my mom's, is deep. I learned not to let it bother me because she didn't get upset when callers (or the employee in the drive thru lane) thought she was a man.
It still happens some today, although not at work, since my job doesn't involve answering phones. I work at a ministry too though, and I wanted to give you a little different perspective. While being called 'dear' by men on the phone might be annoying, I would venture to say you face less issues with your gender in the workforce than the women at most ministries do. My office is a great place to work, but the church-y feel leads to all sorts of gender bias. Sometimes, it's ingrained in the ministry's theology concerning women's role in ministry, while even ministries like mine that believe women can hold any role often fail to treat them as equal employees in practice.
For instance, I remember a time when I made a comment to my boss about a colleague's actions that required me to exercise good judgment, while shelving my emotional involvement. His response: "You sound like a man." He didn't disagree with my assessment - the problem employee was soon let go, and I promoted to that job. But his comment made me realize he doesn't really think women can exercise as good as judgment as men, as he finds it surprising when we do.
And while I understand why you don't want to be called dear, trust me, I don't want to be called that at work either. My male bosses are terrible about referring to the administrative pool as "the girls" and I hate it. When the PR team I manage was all women, they did the same until I spoke up, saying I didn't want to be called a "girl" any more than an adult male wants to be called a boy.
Anyways, I'm a bit off topic here. As for how to deal with your callers, your duty is to provide great customer service. Answer the phone with your ministries' greeting and "This is Keith; how can I help you?" but don't correct those who assume you are a woman. As for the older men who get flirty, the female employees have to deal with it too. You can point out that you are a man and end it, but what can they do?
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