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Strong women - 10/15/2009 11:57:41 AM
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allisonbrett
Posts: 837
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From: A bit north of the Big Chicken
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Hey guys,
What's in a man's head? Why is it that some men gravitate to very strong women who often treat their husbands like their children instead of the head of the home. There often appears to be little to no respect but a desire to be in charge. These women are strong and often controlling, sometimes to the point of being bullies. Why are some men drawn to this kind of woman?
Insecurity, fear, ?
_____________________________
Allison
A work in progress so please be patient, God is still working on me. Ouch, it sure is painful!
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RE: Strong women - 10/15/2009 12:25:23 PM
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APZR
Posts: 1052
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: GA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: allisonbrett
Insecurity, fear, ?
Yes, and yes... could also be that a controlling Mommy told them it's time to move out and find a job, so they are looking for their next Mommy because they weren't mentally ready or mature enough to let go of the breast feeding. If you are, or have been, interested in a boy like that... RUN, RUN, RUN away and do not look back. It will be a loooong time before he's willing and able to provide for a family.
_____________________________
Ya can't keep trouble from visitin, but you don't have to offer it a chair.
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RE: Strong women - 10/15/2009 4:04:07 PM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 8021
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From: Lone Star State
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There's nothing wrong with strong women.
It's domineering ones you want to watch out for.
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We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Strong women - 10/15/2009 8:34:56 PM
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mrtigger
Posts: 272
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stamper_ben
There's nothing wrong with strong women.
It's domineering ones you want to watch out for.
Ditto that.
To the OP, some guys probably don't want the bosses job and look for a woman who will take it on.
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mr tigger
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RE: Strong women - 10/15/2009 9:07:55 PM
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jhuperetes
Posts: 472
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I stand corrected, stamper_ben.
The proper term would be indeed domineering. I do not enjoy domineering people in general.
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RE: Strong women - 10/16/2009 10:52:53 AM
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APZR
Posts: 1052
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From: GA
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No it's not in his nature, that behavior is not natural. Just like kids who grew up in a dysfunctional home where their Dad beat up on their Mom, they too are likely to exhibit the same rage when grown and married. Male/Female... doesn't matter, it's something from their environment and past that makes them a weak adult.
< Message edited by APZR -- 10/16/2009 11:06:34 AM >
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Ya can't keep trouble from visitin, but you don't have to offer it a chair.
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RE: Strong women - 10/16/2009 2:44:12 PM
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warpspeed10
Posts: 37
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just cause someone is characterized as strong doesn't mean they'll be controlling. I'd call that bossy rather than strong. Someone can be bossy and such without really being a strong person.
I actually do prefer strong people. Hence I prefer a strong girl for me.
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RE: Strong women - 10/17/2009 10:45:49 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16732
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stamper_ben
There's nothing wrong with strong women.
It's domineering ones you want to watch out for.
I agree with this. Also, men in this culture have been taught to be passive to women, and women calling most of the shots. This being the opposite of the Bible teaching men being the head of the household and to take the lead, but that is another story for a different thread instead.
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RE: Strong women - 10/18/2009 12:44:22 PM
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makarizo
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The term "strong woman" can mean a bunch of different things. When I hear that term, I don't think of bully, even tho that is what might have been meant.
to me strong woman means - one who knows what she wants, one who is a little less cajoling and manipulative...... very attractive qualities.
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RE: Strong women - 10/18/2009 3:22:16 PM
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eaglelady11
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there is a quote attributed to Ernest Hemingway. He said, "I love tough broads; it's hard dames I can't stand." I think god wants women to be strong, but not domineering.
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RE: Strong women - 10/19/2009 12:35:03 AM
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dnp200450
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Domineering women and men annoy me! It isn't about gender, it's about attitude!
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RE: Strong women - 10/19/2009 10:42:07 AM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 8021
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From: Lone Star State
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dnp200450
Domineering women and men annoy me! It isn't about gender, it's about attitude!
AMEN!
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We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Strong women - 10/19/2009 1:14:52 PM
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DaveW
Posts: 3807
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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quote:
ORIGINAL: allisonbrett
Why is it that some men gravitate to very strong women who often treat their husbands like their children instead of the head of the home. There often appears to be little to no respect but a desire to be in charge. These women are strong and often controlling, sometimes to the point of being bullies. Why are some men drawn to this kind of woman? A former counselor my wife and I went to would say that it is a sub- or un-consious effort to fix a failed past relationship with a female authority figure, probably when he was small so she was much bigger, stronger, etc than him and bossed him around a lot. He is reenacting the situation as much as he can to try to resolve it.
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RE: Strong women - 10/19/2009 1:49:08 PM
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allisonbrett
Posts: 837
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From: A bit north of the Big Chicken
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DaveW
quote:
ORIGINAL: allisonbrett
Why is it that some men gravitate to very strong women who often treat their husbands like their children instead of the head of the home. There often appears to be little to no respect but a desire to be in charge. These women are strong and often controlling, sometimes to the point of being bullies. Why are some men drawn to this kind of woman? A former counselor my wife and I went to would say that it is a sub- or un-consious effort to fix a failed past relationship with a female authority figure, probably when he was small so she was much bigger, stronger, etc than him and bossed him around a lot. He is reenacting the situation as much as he can to try to resolve it.
Basically transferring issues from one to another all the while trying to "fix" things? Hm, I guess it could answer some things but I'm not convinced that the majority are transferring issues from one to another to resolve.
Maybe using the word, "strong" is incorrect. I agree with what someone said strong means they know what they want,etc. Let's use dominating, controlling, even bullying where women are concerned. The men in these marriages, are they happy with the status quo or miserable? Could men just go along with the women to keep the peace? Are these guys content in their marriages with women who seemingly do not respect them?
_____________________________
Allison
A work in progress so please be patient, God is still working on me. Ouch, it sure is painful!
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RE: Strong women - 10/19/2009 6:07:38 PM
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huangshan
Posts: 2307
Joined: 8/6/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: allisonbrett
Hey guys,
What's in a man's head? Why is it that some men gravitate to very strong women who often treat their husbands like their children instead of the head of the home. There often appears to be little to no respect but a desire to be in charge. These women are strong and often controlling, sometimes to the point of being bullies. Why are some men drawn to this kind of woman?
Insecurity, fear, ?
I'm drawn to women who challenge me, and my personality is such that praise is often only given as the subtext of playful scorn. As such, I am drawn to opinionated, driven women with a strong sense of ironic wit.
I'm also an aesthetics junkie and am drawn to athletic women with a good sense of style and poise. Someone I can run with and who doesn't get tired out after a long argument.
As such, when I'm with my girlfriend, I probably appear somewhat submissive. It works for me.
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RE: Strong women - 10/20/2009 7:18:42 AM
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cposey
Posts: 307
Joined: 8/20/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: allisonbrett
quote:
ORIGINAL: DaveW
quote:
ORIGINAL: allisonbrett
Why is it that some men gravitate to very strong women who often treat their husbands like their children instead of the head of the home. There often appears to be little to no respect but a desire to be in charge. These women are strong and often controlling, sometimes to the point of being bullies. Why are some men drawn to this kind of woman? A former counselor my wife and I went to would say that it is a sub- or un-consious effort to fix a failed past relationship with a female authority figure, probably when he was small so she was much bigger, stronger, etc than him and bossed him around a lot. He is reenacting the situation as much as he can to try to resolve it.
Basically transferring issues from one to another all the while trying to "fix" things? Hm, I guess it could answer some things but I'm not convinced that the majority are transferring issues from one to another to resolve.
Maybe using the word, "strong" is incorrect. I agree with what someone said strong means they know what they want,etc. Let's use dominating, controlling, even bullying where women are concerned. The men in these marriages, are they happy with the status quo or miserable? Could men just go along with the women to keep the peace? Are these guys content in their marriages with women who seemingly do not respect them?
A happy life is a happy wife, right?
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RE: Strong women - 10/20/2009 12:01:22 PM
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mrf084
Posts: 243
Joined: 12/14/2007
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I believe that some people (men or women), need for someone else to be in charge. Decision making is a step of faith. When we decide for ourselves we leave ourselves open to criticism which can sometimes be quite harsh. Some individuals have received the heavy end of the stick frequently for making decisions or even expressing their own opinions.
After a while this would make anyone gun-shy when it came to risking their necks in the leadership arena. Some never examine themselves well enough to recognize this position in themselves. I'm sure you have seen all sorts who wish to coast through life never taking risks beyond what can be managed easily.
In Christ we give up our control through a conscious decision because we know His will is so much better than anything we can come up with. In human relationships this same action is so much less than that with Christ because we know that the person we give control to is an imperfect soul or they wouldn't be on this earth. We release our leadership to them because we are afraid or tired. We give up an essential part of ourselves for comfort.
If we seek a comfortable life we should understand that we accept tyranny as a substitute for struggle . Struggle is essential to understanding and achievement. Struggle is also necessary for the fulfillment of our souls and spirits. " Not that I have obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14. God Bless
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RE: Strong women - 10/31/2009 9:09:49 PM
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KaptZ
Posts: 172
Joined: 10/28/2009
From: The swamps of Jersey
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Why do some women seem to like 'bad' boys?
I guess some guys just like the be smacked around. Literally and figuratively.
Either that, or the 'intimate relations' are out of this world.
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RE: Strong women - 11/4/2009 11:47:11 AM
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Enoch195
Posts: 102
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Alberta, Canada
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To put in very simple terms... sometimes we want a strong women especially if we
are weak in that area.... and instead of growing and becoming more mature, it helps
us stay in our comfort zone of being indecisive and letting others lead.
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Don't be sappy.. be happy.
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RE: Strong women - 11/5/2009 3:01:09 AM
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rockominal
Posts: 679
Joined: 8/15/2007
From: Indiana
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mrtigger
No one ever really knows for sure why people have the quirks they do...
That should be considered the caveat of this entire topic. 
_____________________________
I might tell you the truth, or something pretty close to it. Jesus says, "I Am the Truth."
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RE: Strong women - 
In your opinion, is that something in his own nature that lends him towards this type of woman or is it from his previous environment such as his own upbringing? Someone said he probably had a dominate mother. Could this as much be an absent/neglectful father as opposed to the mother? 
