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church secretary advice - 10/1/2009 1:03:49 PM
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JEGUINN
Posts: 20
Joined: 5/23/2008
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a littlle background first: i'm a church secretary at the church i attend. we are currently seeking for a pastor, so i "answer to" the 4 elders at our church. the treasurer is who i filter information through and would contact first if anything arises.
since we are without a pastor, i'm in the office all by myself for 22 hrs/week. i answer phones/emails and do clerical duties.
the situation: when receiving calls, i sometimes will get people who are asking for help/money/phone numbers for people to call to help w/ whatever. the last couple of times, they've been scary (one guy said he had was ready to committ armed robbery to get money - he said he had a knife) or rude people who are angry and won't tell me what's going on, they just want to talk to someone.
my question: i'm not assertive by nature, and so when i get calls like this when there is no one here to take them (no one has office hours except me) and i'm here all by myself, how do i handle them? i won't say no one is here, letting them i'm by myself. the policy here is that we don't give out money/don't have the funds available to help w/ utilities/gas/medical/etc.
i'm getting a panic button installed if, God forbid, anyone would show up. the church isn't in the best part of town, tucked in neighborhood, so if anything were to happen, i'd be up a creek (i do have my dog w/ me, that would maybe deter someone, not sure if he'd attack anyone, though).
any suggestions on how to handle these types of phone calls would be appreciated. i almost need training in handling crisis situations that people call with sometimes...ugh.
thank you!
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RE: church secretary advice - 10/1/2009 1:41:27 PM
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sharonjef2007
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So, are the elders taking care of the ministry of the church? If so, you can just let the people know that you will have someone return their call. I'd also make it very clear up front what the policy of the church is. You can provide spiritual services, but not money.
Perhaps some sort of training for you would be a good thing. Something like customer service with an emphasis on difficult customers could help you gain some confidence in that part of your job.
_____________________________
my blog......Picture This.......
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RE: church secretary advice - 10/1/2009 2:29:55 PM
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JEGUINN
Posts: 20
Joined: 5/23/2008
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they are. it is hard sometimes to discern whether they want help or just money. people tell stories that are believable, and i've passed it along, and it turns out they did just want money. there's not much i could have done differently in those situations.
i think i will look in to some sort of training, though.
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RE: church secretary advice - 10/1/2009 2:50:30 PM
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laura...
Posts: 3284
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
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Contact your local or state department of mental health, drug and alcohol addiction services, social services. Ask for a list of resources in your area, the local suicide hotline number and any other crisis line. United Way puts out local directories for other services such as senior services, food banks, etc. Local United Way directories are often available online. Check with other churches in the area a get a list of those who offer free meals and food assistance. Have these lists nearby for when someone calls looking for help.
If someone is demanding to speak to the pastor, just tell them that the church currently does not have a pastor. If they want a pastor for counseling, give them the name of a church or pastor that you know is willing to take such calls.
If the church has caller ID, use it. Write down the number before answering the phone if the number isn't automatically logged. If you get any threatening calls, hang up. Call the police and give them the phone number and tell them the nature of the threat -- suicide, harm to others, intent to commit robbery, etc.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: church secretary advice - 10/1/2009 3:40:26 PM
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allisonbrett
Posts: 837
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From: A bit north of the Big Chicken
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As a former church secretary (from many years ago!) I understand completely. I love my job but there were times when I'd encounter such requrests. It can be a very uncomfortable situation to be in especially when you are there alone.
I'm sure you already know this but never mention that you are there alone. Make sure there is always someone on standby just in case there is an emergency. Is your church office locked? Most are these days.
The church I worked in was in a downtown area so we had drifters and other homeless ask for help fairly often. There was some legitimate needs and others less than authentic. You may be able to respond, "I'm sorry, there is no one available to speak with you. May I take a name/number and have someone get back to you?" Then pass on the message to someone who oversees this type of thing. Most would not volunteer info and just hang up. Or you could ask if they would allow you to pray with them over the phone. Either way you're in a tough situation.
I agree with Laura, get acquainted with what services are available in your area. Talk with those you are accountable to and ask what they would have you do about such requests. They need to provide you with guidelines that will protect you from such situations. They should also be available to be reached in case you have a question.
_____________________________
Allison
A work in progress so please be patient, God is still working on me. Ouch, it sure is painful!
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RE: church secretary advice - 10/1/2009 9:26:12 PM
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bolt.
Posts: 1766
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From: Canada
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Interrupt them as soon as you can tell that you won't personally be able to do any good by your sympathetic listening. It's not kind to them to let them go on in spilling their guts when you are not the right person to speak to. It just increases their pain as they tell person after person. Don't be a person in that chain.
Say this,
"Wait, wait, sir / ma'am. I'm sorry but I'm just not the right person for you to talk to. Would you like an elder to return your call, or can I give you some phone numbers for other services? No. Stop. I'm sorry. I only answer phones here. I can't help you. Do you want a call from someone else, or some phone numbers, like I said?"
Just before you say goodbye, even if you have to hang up on them, tell them that you will pray for them as soon as the phone call is over, say goodbye and hang up. (Then do pray for them.)
_____________________________
Are you having trouble getting your daily dose of the life changing Word of God?
Let my friend Brian at Daily Audio Bible help you too.
>>audio link<<
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RE: church secretary advice - 10/1/2009 9:34:51 PM
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Szaftoo
Posts: 499
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: So. Calif.
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I was a church secretary many years ago and can tell you what worked for me. Even when you get a new pastor, the majority of these types of calls will be your responsibility to free up your pastor for ministry. I agree with Laura, spend a day learning about all of the resources in your area. Contact all of the services personally to see what they provide. Get the name of the contact person and hours of operation.
Sympathize with the callers but don't take it personally. Some are people who really need help and others are scammers and unfortunately you won't know for sure. If they insist on speaking with someone, take a message for one of the elders. You can also contact your local police to see what is their policy on threats.
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RE: church secretary advice - 10/1/2009 9:51:22 PM
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bolt.
Posts: 1766
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: Canada
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Oh! Learn how to do 3-way calling, then you can dial up the right resource right there with the person still talking, then bow-out of the conversation.
In this way you can 'transfer' calls to your elders (at home), a counselling line, abuse shetlers, even the police -- whatever the situation calls for. Have a friend call you so you can practice how, before you are really in a stressful situation.
Then all you'd have to say is, "One moment please, I think I know who to connect you to." Then you say, "Hi, this is <Suzy> from <First Church> and I have <Jim> on the line. He's in a difficult situation and I hope you can help him."
_____________________________
Are you having trouble getting your daily dose of the life changing Word of God?
Let my friend Brian at Daily Audio Bible help you too.
>>audio link<<
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RE: church secretary advice - 10/2/2009 8:50:28 AM
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Kat_D
Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
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Have the elders of your church draw up a benevolence policy for you to follow. If someone calls for financial help, it is your responsibility to communicate that policy criteria. Even if it's a denial, if it is done in a kind and gentle manner with an offer to pray for the person, it is usually received well (at least that has been the experience of the secretaries at our church).
This is just part of a church secretary's job. Start each day off in prayer...for God's protection and that he would equip you to do the duties expected of you. If you continue to be too frightened or unable to do this part of your job, perhaps you need to reconsider whether or not this is the right position for you.
We have thought of getting panic buttons in our church offices, but always come to the conclusion that we will not live in fear of the few who come to bring strife and trouble. I have worked in Pastoral Care for a long time and God has never failed to protect us.
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: church secretary advice - 10/2/2009 9:19:31 AM
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small_creation
Posts: 200
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From: midwest
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How about instead of trying to avert the question of help, why not point the callers to a ministry that your church supports.
If your church is not already doing so, partner with a homeless shelter, domestic shelter, food bank, or other "helping" center. That way, when a person calls for help, you have a list of numbers, pointing that person in the appropriate direction.
And when I say partner, don't just pick out some names and numbers out of the phone book. Anyone can do that. Make sure your church is aiding the organization in some way, either financially or in a volunteering capacity.
IMHO, a church should have an answer to such a person asking for help.
13Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good?
14But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear what they fear†; do not be frightened.”†
15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,
16keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. ~ 1 Peter 3
j
< Message edited by small_creation -- 10/2/2009 12:07:09 PM >
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RE: church secretary advice - 10/2/2009 9:58:50 AM
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peace77
Posts: 281
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Keep the doors locked unless you are expecting someone.
Some churches have an intercom system at the office door that people must push a button before being buzzed in.
If people are calling looking for money, be honest and tell them that your church does not give out money.
Have a list ready of other resources such a Salvation Army or Catholic Community Services.
Include local food banks on your list.
peace,
Anne
(former church secretary)
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I GoodSearch for Deaf Missions.
Raise money for your favorite charity or school just by searching the Internet or shopping online with GoodSearch - www.goodsearch.com
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RE: church secretary advice - 10/2/2009 11:10:12 AM
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JEGUINN
Posts: 20
Joined: 5/23/2008
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excellent suggestions. thank you all for your responses. these are all reasonable and easy enough to do. sometimes it just takes a few other outside sources and get another persons thoughts/perspectives to refocus!
i appreciate it and will be looking in to a few things!!
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RE: church secretary advice - 10/2/2009 12:39:36 PM
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Pavteam
Posts: 35
Joined: 11/8/2006
From: South Carolina
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I agree with peace77. KEEP THE CHURCH DOORS LOCKED and have a door bell installed. I speak from experience. I was a church secretary in a detoriating neighborhood. I was there a lot by myself. One day, about a half hour after I left for the day, a church member who was also a lay leader was there alone, yes the door was locked, yes the door bell was working, but she opened the door when the man said he needed help and then he attacked her. I NEVER opened the door after that when I was there alone if it was not a church member. We also had a PA system installed so that I could talk to the person ringing the bell from my office - then they couldn't even see me.
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RE: church secretary advice - 10/2/2009 4:02:33 PM
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Lapidoth
Posts: 5783
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From: OKLAHOMA
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Or maybe it's possible to work from home?
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http://www.tedpearce.com/Videos/TheForgottenpeople.html
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RE: church secretary advice - 10/3/2009 9:43:32 AM
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Covaan_Meshuga
Posts: 3196
Joined: 6/8/2005
From: being knit together in my mother's womb
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I am also a "church secretary," although my boss prefers I use another term  and the church is in a neighborhood that is actively trying to improve poor conditions. In the meantime, I occasionally get threats, attempted theft, the whole nine yards.
I have also wondered about starting a site, away from the eyes of others, for church secretaries (etc. ) and those who have worked in that capacity. I did find somewhat of such a site, but it just did not serve my needs well. We need something like that. Although it is open to all eyes, I have wondered if we should possibly start one down in Theo House here. We could exchange ideas and get advice from those who used to be church secretaries as well as advice from those with experience in certain ideas.
My most recent incident was a man who called to talk to "someone," and he insisted on talking to me although I told him that I was not educated in the area of counseling. I soon became uncomfortable with what he wanted to tell me. In talking to more knowledgeable people, I realized, upon their responses and my recounting the event, that he was a predator.
Alarmed, I called one of the neighboring churches of the same organization I work for, telling the secretary to contact me immediately. Instead, the pastor called. I told him, and the man had already been in contact with that church before he called the one I work for. He had insisted with that secretary to talk to her in person. This was only avoided by her not opening the door, but they saw his vehicle and got some amazing information. Upon my call, the pastor knew enough to make his moves.
And the more I think about THIS, the more I think we need a place to write without other eyes. When the perps learn our "tricks of the trade," they just come up with other ideas. . . .
_____________________________
While in prayer or praise, I am only as devoted to G-d as I am in my most private moments.
Abiyah, if you had known them as G-d knows them, you would have answered them differently.
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RE: church secretary advice - 10/4/2009 7:09:29 AM
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JEGUINN
Posts: 20
Joined: 5/23/2008
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i've thought about working from home...until we find a pastor, at least. my husband and i are praying about what to do. he actually had a really good conversation w/ two of the elders regarding my situation. my thing is is even though nothing has happened (the doors are locked and and NEVER open the door for someone i don't know), the chances of something happening aren't any less. (if someone REALLY wanted in, they could throw something through a window - even the front doors - they are not thick at all.)
the church does not have much activity during the week (members coming by, people coming in for things like counseling, seeing the pastor, etc.) so, until a time comes where i do need to be there more bc the pastor IS in, why do i need to be there?
that is what i'm praying about...whether or not to broach the topic with the elders. so anyway....
i do think it would be an asset to have a site for suggestions, etc.
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RE: church secretary advice - 10/4/2009 11:55:30 AM
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Covaan_Meshuga
Posts: 3196
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From: being knit together in my mother's womb
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Let's try it, Jeguinn! Go to
http://forums.crosswalk.com/m_4565478/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4565478
_____________________________
While in prayer or praise, I am only as devoted to G-d as I am in my most private moments.
Abiyah, if you had known them as G-d knows them, you would have answered them differently.
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RE: church secretary advice - 10/5/2009 10:05:44 AM
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jn1010lf
Posts: 497
Joined: 4/20/2005
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Hello JEGUINN
I would suggest that such calls be forwarded to each of the elders. What you are forced to does not, in my opinion, come under the role of a church secretary. I would also wonder why the church would leave you alone in such a place. So, I would be quite vocal in this. That's my opinion, not necessarily the best approach.
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