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how did you know

 
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how did you know - 10/16/2009 11:09:25 AM   
Prairiehiker


Posts: 4031
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...that you love your boyfriend/girlfriend (which are now your husband/wife)/
---how did you know you wanted to marry him/her?
...How much did your feelings play a factor in choosing this person to spend the rest of your life with?

_____________________________

Search me, Oh God, and know my heart
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me, and
Lead me in the way everlasting Psalm 139:22-24
-------------------------------------

Go Steelers!!!
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RE: how did you know - 10/16/2009 11:20:58 AM   
ark2008bd@gmail.com

 

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Joined: 10/16/2009
From: United Arab Emirates
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Dear friends
I want to do a married for working the GOD. I need love and suport in my life. I have writing havit.

Thanks
Nur
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RE: how did you know - 10/16/2009 11:21:37 AM   
heremainsfaithful


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From: Alabama
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This is a GREAT question. But I have to think about it for awhile
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RE: how did you know - 10/16/2009 11:25:17 AM   
crankius


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I'm a person who puts my feelings aside until my intellect is okay with things...then I let my feelings get involved.

I had known him for probably six months before we started seeing each other. I knew he was a believer, diligent in his studies, very smart, reserved, careful, and I had observed his funny wit. I had determined that he was a quality person. As we started to meet for coffee and get to know one another, he was practicing a piano piece for a recital, a duet with his piano teacher (the piece was Rhapsody in Blue). He would practice in the piano practice rooms at the college we attended. I went with him one evening and sat on the floor listening and watching him play, and I thought to myself, "This is quite a guy."

We dated for over 3 years. I can remember pondering a lot on whether I should marry him, whether we were a good match. I didn't have parents or other family to guide me so I prayed a lot and looked to the Lord. Nothing too romantic about my decision to marry him, sorry!

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Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16

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RE: how did you know - 10/16/2009 11:41:58 AM   
3tulips


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After just a couple of months of dating, I was smitten. He said the "love" word to me and I had no problem saying it back. But the thought of marriage scared me. A friend told me she saw him ring shopping. That night I was reading my devotions and praying. I kept reading this one chapter over and over and finally I said "God I need a sign. This is such a huge decision, that I need to know You are behind it." The next day a friend came up to me and said "I feel really strongly that I am to share these 2 verses with you" and they were from right in the middle of that chapter I was reading. 26 years later, here we are.

_____________________________

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts; so I am helped, and my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him." Psalm 28:7
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RE: how did you know - 10/16/2009 11:58:20 AM   
herestoresmysoul

 

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Welll I met my second husband on the internet on a Christian dating site, and as soon as I read his profile I knew that there was something very special about him. Nothing very speciific but just that sort of 'feeling' inside (could it have been The Holy Spirit?)
2 days after I e-mailed him (and he had replied and we had sent each other loads of e-mails over those 2 days),I was 90% sure he was 'The one'(yes and we hadnt even spoken on the phone by then)
2 days after I first contacted him we spoke on the phone, and that just confirmed what I already knew AND 2 DAYS AFTER THAT.we met and after that I knew 100% that he was the one God had found for me. so that is 5 days after my first contact. Quick I know but we married 9 months after that day and here we are 4 years later and so happy together.
Post #: 6
RE: how did you know - 10/16/2009 12:24:42 PM   
laughinggirl


Posts: 223
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From: Dallas, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crankius

I'm a person who puts my feelings aside until my intellect is okay with things...then I let my feelings get involved.
This is exactly what I did, too. I was fairly guarded with my feelings until I first logically decided that we were a good match for each other. He helped me a lot by being very open with his feelings and always letting me know where *I* stood with him without expecting anything or putting pressure on me. I prayed about it a ton and sought the advice of family and friends who knew me well. They knew he was right for me before I did. I was cautious because I couldn't believe it was finally happening.

Once I realized that he was a wonderful man and his characteristics and personality were perfect for me, I allowed myself to love him. He loved me first. He knew he wanted to marry me by the time we'd been dating for 3 months. That was a bit daunting for me, but I came around pretty quickly. We were in our 30's and met and married within a year. That was 3 years ago and marriage has been better than I ever could have imagined. <3

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RE: how did you know - 10/16/2009 12:37:54 PM   
APZR


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From: GA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

...that you love your boyfriend/girlfriend (which are now your husband/wife)/
---how did you know you wanted to marry him/her?
...How much did your feelings play a factor in choosing this person to spend the rest of your life with?


We were in college, I thought she was pretty, I approached her and we talked. We started out as "friends", I was interested in a deeper relationship, and it developed into BF/GF.

After dating for almost a year we were seeing each other exclusively, it felt right. She had good prospects for a great career in teaching, my business was growing, and it seemed we fit.

Gut feelings, a lot. I still listen to my gut feelings when making important business decisions... rarely am I wrong when I listen to the quite voices screaming from inside.

_____________________________

Ya can't keep trouble from visitin, but you don't have to offer it a chair.
Post #: 8
RE: how did you know - 10/16/2009 2:53:01 PM   
northstar

 

Posts: 189
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My hubby ran through a 'checklist' before he considered asking me out, so he was pretty sure that in all areas he considered 'essential', that we were compatible. I didn't have a list as such, but just one or two really important points that I considered non-negotiable, and he met those criteria.

So after that, and after chatting for ages after church services, he asked me out on a date.

He said he knew I was the one on our very first date. I took a bit longer to catch up with him on that score...it took me three weeks, lol!

We were engaged five and a bit weeks after our first date, and married three and a half months after that.

_____________________________

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: they shall prosper that love thee.
Psalm 122:6
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RE: how did you know - 10/19/2009 11:25:05 PM   
deermousie


Posts: 2220
Joined: 9/26/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crankius
I'm a person who puts my feelings aside until my intellect is okay with things...then I let my feelings get involved.



This is so wise.

We know we can't marry a nonChristian... or a person of the same sex... or an Orangutan. We need to be fairly mature in our faith, trained somewhat at least and ready to marry, healthy enough to marry, and teachable. If these aren't present, no marriage.

Then if you're emotionally compatable, both can marry and want to, then I'd say that person is probably God's will for you.

The idea is that we're free to marry, and if there isn't a good reason to say no, then say yes if you want to.

quote:

...that you love your boyfriend/girlfriend (which are now your husband/wife)/


I cared about him and his interests. It wasn't a passionate love but caring for another person and good friend.

quote:

---how did you know you wanted to marry him/her?


He asked me to, and I knew he was good marriage material and we got along great and I liked the idea of spending the rest of my life with him. As you can see, his proposal caught me off guard because I wasn't expecting it. But it didn't take me long to think it through.

quote:

...How much did your feelings play a factor in choosing this person to spend the rest of your life with?


It was the last thing on the check list. If he hadn't passed the other parts of the check list, then the feelings would have meant nothing in my decision.

We've been married over two decades now, and are more in love than ever!

May it be so with you, dear Sister!

_____________________________

"Through Gates of Splendor" by Elizabeth Elliot
"Federal Husband" by Doug Wilson
www.biblegateway.com for online concordance (I use it daily)
"Passion and Purity" by Elizabeth Elliot
And I think chickens are really funny
Post #: 10
RE: how did you know - 10/20/2009 2:39:17 PM   
Mollymouser


Posts: 3951
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: california, land of the happy cows
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

...that you love your boyfriend/girlfriend (which are now your husband/wife)/
---how did you know you wanted to marry him/her?
...How much did your feelings play a factor in choosing this person to spend the rest of your life with?


Well, if I wasn't strongly considering marriage with him, I never would've agreed to start a formal courtship with him. (We didn't really date ... we went from friends to courting to engaged to married.)

After much soul-searching and prayer, I really felt like he was the man that God wanted me to marry. Only then did I agree to start a courtship with him.

For me, I think I analyzed his "marriageability" first, pretty intellectually, and only then did I allow myself to let my emotions run amuck.



_____________________________

MARRIED TO A MILITARY PILOT ~ PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR TROOPS!
Post #: 11
RE: how did you know - 10/21/2009 1:01:38 AM   
Liv4Him06


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/6/2006
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...that you love your boyfriend/girlfriend (which are now your husband/wife)?
---how did you know you wanted to marry him/her?
...How much did your feelings play a factor in choosing this person to spend the rest of your life with?

1) I have to admit that I had an artificial type of love. The kind that's too prevalent in our carnal/fleshly "love" saturated world. I really think I was more infatuated than the type of love God demonstrates us to have.

2) Considering he proposed to me while I was in my chemically altered state (dopamine and norepinephren), I said yes.

3) My feelings had a huge factor in the reason we got married. Then again, I was 18 and thought I knew everything there was to know about the world and love. HA! Little did I really know...

But I am glad to report that God has really opened my eyes to see what the real definition of love and marriage is. And I am truly blessed that the Lord has given me a husband inspite of all my flaws and failures. I am definitely a work in progress.

< Message edited by Liv4Him06 -- 10/21/2009 1:54:00 AM >


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"Death is half disarmed when the pleasures and interests of the flesh are first denied."

—Richard Baxter
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