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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/14/2008 11:31:54 PM
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magdaleine
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Pengie, would you at least talk to a counsellor at a woman's shelter to find out your options? It may be more possible to leave than you think. Perhaps someone would even come to your home to talk about your options, given your health. Please? You are not in a safe or healthy situation by anyone's definition.
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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/14/2008 11:42:25 PM
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leah777
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Maggie's right, Pengie. And a women's shelter really should be able to help you -- at least lay out your options.
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Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a choice. (Mary Southerland) Leah's Stories
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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/15/2008 9:29:10 AM
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leah777
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Pengie, I think it would be good for you to start a thread of your own . . . maybe in Personally For You folder, or in Women's Issues. Be sure to link us or let us know where so we can keep track of you, tho.
No, of course you couldn't leave your daughter behind. I guess all shelters are different, maybe run on their own policies/rules, etc., but I seriously doubt there's many that woudln't allow your teenage child to come with you.
As far as Oreo goes, is there someone he could stay with until you & your daughter are settled somewhere else. Unless there's reason to believe your husband would try to follow you and cause trouble, it may just be a matter of getting help to getting you into separate living quarters. Of course, it still might be hard to find a place that would accept Oreo.
I do hope you can find a solution, Pengie. As Maggie says, this is not a safe or healthy way to live -- for you or your daughter. I know it's going to be overwhelming at first. Please know I'll be praying.
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Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a choice. (Mary Southerland) Leah's Stories
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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/15/2008 2:25:37 PM
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magdaleine
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Linda has a good point that I hadn't thought of. This really is a very unhealthy situation for your daughter because she's learning about marriage and men/women relationships from watching you and your husband. She's also learning that one must stay and put up with abuse. By leaving, you potentially give her the courage and permission to leave if she finds herself in an abusive marriage or relationship.
And certainly start a thread. It could be a support for not only you but others going through such problems.
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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/15/2008 2:39:57 PM
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magdaleine
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Telling the psychiatrist is a good start. Good for you!
Which reminds me. I have to phone my son's psychiatrist.
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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/17/2008 12:24:20 PM
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Hatfield
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From: Right here at my computer!
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Pengie,
I know I don't know you very well, but Leah and this bunch are friends of mine. So, if you are a friend of theirs, that makes you my friend as well!
As a husband, it saddens me to hear of ANY wife being abused. If I ever thought that I'd lay a violent finger to my Beth, I would leave voluntarily. God put husbands and wives together to support each other.
I would agree with the consensus here, and strongly encourage you to find a way to leave. I don't know what state you are in (and I'm not asking, this is a privacy issue for you--offline you wouldn't know me from Adam) but if you were in Indiana, I'd invite you to PM me and if I couldn't come get you, I know several people who would. (Including one dear friend who's big enough I'm sure he could convince your husband to let you go without creating problems)
I can't speak for the shelters in other states, but all of the ones I've heard of in my area (including one just a few blocks down the road from me) are willing to take you AND your daughter. As to being able to use a computer, some of these shelters do have 'net access, but if worse comes to worse, you've likely got a public library which will probably have terminals available for public use.
Until you do have some of these situations resolved, I know there are forums available for women in your situation. Even if you aren't the person leading it, I would encourage you to find and join one!
And ... I know I know, someone's probably thinking "Just like a guy; thinks he can solve all the problems." No I don't. I've got enough problems of my own to worry about without taking on others! Just wanted to be supportive and let you know that you're being prayed for by both of us.
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Ron  (aka Hatfield)
AotC Mud
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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/17/2008 12:44:47 PM
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leah777
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Ron, so good to see you! I've missed you & Beth . . . hope to see more of you.
Thanks for the encouraging word to Pengie. I know she will appreciate it.
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Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a choice. (Mary Southerland) Leah's Stories
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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/17/2008 4:58:25 PM
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Pengie
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Ron,
Thank you for your supportive and uplifting advice. I don't live in Indiana, but do live in a neighboring State.
My husband is 6 foot and 250 lbs, whereas I am 5'3" and average weight.
Your offer to help 'convince him' is generous. lol
Technically he hasn't actually touched me in 5 years. It has been more of an emotional abuse of late. I am working with our psych Dr to try and come to a resolution. We live seperately in the same house. He downstairs, my daughter and I upstairs. This came about by the Dr's suggestion 5 yrs ago when my husband was in therapy. It worked for a while, but has gradually slipped back into an unhealthy environment.
I am unsure if I will be moving to a shelter or if my husband will be called in to see the Dr. I am quite weak these days and just moving around the house is difficult. I can't imagine where I would find the energy to move and start a new life at this point.
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Pengie
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<--Thumbelina's new dress
" . . . he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17 "
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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/17/2008 5:53:51 PM
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leah777
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Pengie, I certainly can sympathize and understand if you don't have it in you to make the move. I will pray the psychiatrist can come up with a workable solution.
Ron, I've really not written any stories lately . . except about the little handicapped boy I keep -- and they're all thru the thread 
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Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a choice. (Mary Southerland) Leah's Stories
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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/17/2008 6:16:45 PM
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Pengie
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Ron.
Thank you for your kind offer of "Gary". And if it come down to it , I may just take you up on that!
But as Leah pointed out, I am quite ill these days and just don't know how I could find it in me to start over.
The psych Dr is trying to work with us and with my other Drs. For now, this is the best I can manage.
I really appreciate your caring.
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Pengie
Pengie's Puddle
<--Thumbelina's new dress
" . . . he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17 "
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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/18/2008 3:32:29 AM
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cherish405
Posts: 32135
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The Land Down Under
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(((((((((((((((((PENGIE))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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From this time forth, with the powers vested in me, this post serves as public notice of the issuance of one unrevocable lisence to cherish405 to have special dispensation in the matter of drive-by huggings as she sees fit. ~rayofson~
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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/18/2008 9:54:52 AM
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cherish405
Posts: 32135
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From: The Land Down Under
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I agree, Ron.
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From this time forth, with the powers vested in me, this post serves as public notice of the issuance of one unrevocable lisence to cherish405 to have special dispensation in the matter of drive-by huggings as she sees fit. ~rayofson~
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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/18/2008 12:26:38 PM
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Pengie
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I talked with our psych Dr last night and he wants to see my husband ASAP. After saying a quick prayer, I approached my husband about it. He grumbled a bit, but agreed to go. He called today to tell me his apt is next Thur. Please keep us in your prayers. Thanks.
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Pengie
Pengie's Puddle
<--Thumbelina's new dress
" . . . he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17 "
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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/18/2008 12:36:06 PM
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leah777
Posts: 2666
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From: Show-Me State
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Oh, Pengie, that's great news! I'll pray.
_____________________________
Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a choice. (Mary Southerland) Leah's Stories
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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/18/2008 12:37:32 PM
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cherish405
Posts: 32135
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The Land Down Under
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Guys, if you think of it, I think Maggie and her family could use some prayer right now. See her thread.
_____________________________
From this time forth, with the powers vested in me, this post serves as public notice of the issuance of one unrevocable lisence to cherish405 to have special dispensation in the matter of drive-by huggings as she sees fit. ~rayofson~
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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/18/2008 12:39:07 PM
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leah777
Posts: 2666
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Show-Me State
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Thanks, Trish . . yes, I'm praying.
_____________________________
Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a choice. (Mary Southerland) Leah's Stories
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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/18/2008 3:01:40 PM
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Pengie
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Me too . . .
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Pengie
Pengie's Puddle
<--Thumbelina's new dress
" . . . he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17 "
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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/20/2008 8:54:30 AM
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zondie
Posts: 616
Joined: 10/19/2007
From: The Bluegrass State
Status: offline
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Hi Leah! It's been so long since I've been able to post; but I have finally caught up with reading them. I'm overwhelmed with all that's going on in my life right now, but I'll not elaborate much on that right now. However, a good friend has just lost the battle she fought with cancer and is gone now. She only had the disease for a year.
As it stands, I'll probably only get time to post here on your thread (coz I started here with you first). But I've noticed that Pengie has started one of her own, since I've been away. I've read it all. How very sad! But how rewarding to see how God has always been there for her and her dd! (((((((PENGIE))))))) Maybe when things around here settle down a bit, I'll get a chance to drop in on ya. But please know that I'm keeping up with reading it, but mostly I'm PRAYING!
I've read about what's going on in Maggie's life, on her thread too. (((((((MAGGIE))))))) I'm praying about your situation too, sis. Sometimes we think that it's all just too much for a person to deal with, huh? But then God empowers His strength into us, and somehow we can continue this battle of life; where good vs. evil. I'm praying sincerely for you and your family!
Leah, I hope things are going well for you. It seems like everyone is being put through a test of some sort, in our lives right now. Could be; that God is increasing our endurance levels, on the battlefield! He's gotta have soldiers that He can count on!!! I don't pretend to know the reasons for it all, but I know I can fully trust in Him and know that whatever the cause; He will do it all for our own good and His glory! (Even exercise hurts...but you get good results from authoritative determination!) God ALWAYS knows what's best for us in our lives...doesn't He? We fail to understand 'why' most of the time, and we feel like we're suffering and hurting more than our share, at other times. But, just to know God, and be able to trust Him with what He's doing in our lives...is enough! He's got a good plan for us; the ONLY plan that anyone can rely on! After-all, He said, "I AM THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE!" Oh, to have the honor to serve such an Awesome God!!!
May God's blessings and rewards be showered upon all my friends here at Crosswalk!
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The world will never care how much you know,
until...
The world knows how much you care !
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RE: Leah's Stories! - 9/20/2008 9:39:57 AM
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leah777
Posts: 2666
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Show-Me State
Status: online
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This was the craziest thing, not letting me in here this morning! Sheesh. Anyway, I PM'd my response to you, Zondie. It's just so good to hear from you!
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Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a choice. (Mary Southerland) Leah's Stories
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. It helps just to have a friendly place to come and vent my feelings. 
But we're blessed daily by family and friends (and our church family which counts as both!) and we're just chugging along. 
(I recall a story when his group of friends would play together as kids, they'd pretend to be the Addams Family. Gary would be Lurch the butler!) 
