Think on These Things

Think on These Things (Full Version)

All Forums >> [General] >> Blog Towne

Message

sisrev -> Think on These Things (2/21/2007 12:20:01 PM)
The title of my blog is based on Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." I am a thinker, a "ponderer". My husband tells me I think too much--is there such a thing??? I know that I think too much about the wrong things, sometimes. I look for the hidden meaning behind every little thing, sometimes to my detriment! Sometimes it just is what it is, and nothing more. So, I don't know if it's the "think on these things" part of this verse that did it, but for some reason this verse has always spoken to me. There are so many things in life to "think on", but not many that pass the test in this passage----it may be true, but is it just? It may be honest, but is it pure? Is it lovely? Is it a good report? You get the idea. I feel like I've been in a hard desert place for a while now, and the Lord is bringing me to a place of understanding about part of it. Some of it has been there for a reason, and some of it has been my own fault, but He has been with me the whole time, and I think He wants to teach me some things, or maybe even re-teach me some things, about my life in Him. So, here I am, off to another fresh start in another "new" place---I'm so glad He never seems to run out of new places for us to go.

sisrev -> There's no place like home... (2/25/2007 4:30:17 AM)
I'm homesick today. I watched a documentary on HBO called "When the Levees Broke". It brought back a lot of memories, of watching the Katrina coverage on tv, and of living through Rita and her aftereffects. Katrina was horrible, made worse by the sheer magnitude of the people effected. Coverage of the devastation was still ongoing when Rita hit on Sept 23. I remember being called into work the next week, still with no electricity at home, I was so eager to get back to civilization and see what the coverage of Rita was--5 days after landfall, and it was barely a blip on the national radar. I guess we were too rural and small-town to make the same impact as Katrina. And I think people were tired of hearing hurricane coverage by then. We were lucky. We lived far enough inland that most of the damage done was from trees falling. Our biggest oak tree split in three pieces and fell in every direction, except the one that would have landed it right on top of the house. One of the trees in the front split as well, with the biggest part impaling itself in the road and standing straight up on it's end, tangled in the electric lines from across the way. I remember relief that things weren't as bad as I thought they might be. Then, I remember slowy realizing that things were not going to get back to normal for a long time. No water was the worst thing--we could have lived without electricity if we'd just had water. I remember sitting in the living room with the windows open, trying to pretend that it was just a regular day and that I just didn't want the tv on. Or the ac. Or the phone. Or the fridge. Or the computer. Or the stove. Some regular day. It was so hot. I've never smelt so bad as I did that week(!) We decided we should have bought stock in Starkist & Chicken of the Sea. God bless those people who make MREs. One of the single gals at work said she wished she could get enough to last a year, she'd never cook again! You had to laugh to keep from crying. I remember praying for my dad--we'd heard a rumor that one of the lumber yards were going to get in some generators. He stood in line in the heat for hours and finally one of our neighbors (God bless you, you know who you are) came & found him & told him he'd found some others for sale and he'd gotten us one. I remember telling my husband, who was working out of state, that he didn't need to come home, I would manage just fine. Then on the third day I started crying on the phone--I was so hot & tired--there's no sleeping when it's that hot. We were afraid if he came home that he wouldn't be able to get enough fuel to make it back out again. When he drove up the next night, I thought he was my knight in shining armor. He brought another generator, and water, and food, and gasoline----ah, I love the smell of generator exhaust in the morning. That's the smell of a refrigerator that can get your drinks cold, and hopefully make a little ice. We were so blessed--those in town kept their water the whole time. We had ours back after about 6 days. Our damage was minimal compared to most--the worst of it was probably having the electric service torn completely off the house--the rest was patchable until much, much, later. We didn't get electric service back until 3 weeks because of that, but most right around us had their's back in about a week. Gas lines and food lines only lasted a week to 10 days. We were right there and could clean out the freezer before it became too disgusting. My empolyer had generators and so I could actually get some air conditioning during the day after I was able to clean up enough to make it in to work. Our damage was clearly wind damage and so we had no trouble getting our insurance company to pay for repairs. Although we never had one single official government entity even so much as come by to check on us, we had neighbors who did. We had the money to buy generators and gasoline, when they finally became available. We lost trees, and fences, and shingles, and sleep, but we were blessed beyond measure compared to many. I still think about Camerson Parish, La, where not one single house was left standing. And Sabine Pass, Tx, and all the little towns up the Sabine River Valley. We didn't rate the same coverage as Katrina becuase it wasn't a major city, but I could relate so much to what I saw on that documentary. You don't realize until you live through it how long it takes for a hurricane that size to pass over you. You think you're prepared--they say to have 3 days worth of food and water, but they never say what to do once those three days are up. We never had one hit so hard so far inland before that I can remember--usually once they make landfall they just turn into thunderstorms and rain & wind. I miss home. Louisiana cooking. The accents. People who know how to pronounce Melancon, and Delcambre. And Atchafalaya, and Natchitoches. And New Orleans. But, life goes on, and so do we. We go home when we can, and we make the most of it when we can't. One of the things that I realized about myself when all of that was going on, is that I am not nearly as gracious under pressure as I thought I was. I'm still having that lesson drilled into my head today, as I live with a completely different kind of pressure and discomfort. I like to think that I'm like Paul, and that I've learned to be content no matter what state I find myself in. Unfortunately, the reality is often different from the fantasy. But, there again, God meets us where we are, and He takes us on from there.

sisrev -> Adventures in Odyssey (3/8/2007 1:14:28 PM)
When my son was younger, we were big "Adventures in Odyssey" fans. On almost any gift-giving occasion, one of his requests was a new set of AIO tapes. (We had just graduated to CDs when he started to outgrow the request.) My personal favorite episode of all time is still "A Pokenberry Falls Christmas"--what fun we had listening to Connie, Eugene, Mr Whitaker, and all of the cast of characters. Well, yesterday we had a real-life adventure in Odyssey---we went to Focus on the Family's headquarters in Colorado Springs. What fun we had, my college sophomore son & I, touring through the whole AIO floor in the welcome center. And we were not by any means the only adults-sans-kids who were there! We had an ice-cream sunday in the soda shop; took pictures of the train trestle, the fire department, as well as the imagination station and everything else we saw. We saw a replica of the plane used by the Last Chance Detectives, and the wardrobe from "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe". We even got to go inside, through the furs, to Narnia! We had the best time, playing like kids--until other visitors came along, then we pretended to be just looking, like the sober adults we are(!) Finally we came back upstairs to the "adult" rooms--worth spending an afternoon touring just on their own--and on to the bookstore. (So many choices, so little time.) And promptly each bought a new Adventures in Odyssey cd set. Sometimes our inner child is closer to the surface than we might think.

sisrev -> Virtuous woman (3/14/2007 5:21:34 PM)
I've been thinking a lot lately about the 'Virtuous Woman' of Proverbs 31---I just love those verses about her--even in English, they sing just like poetry... Who can find a virtuous woman, her price is far above rubies The heart of her husband can safely trust in her, and he will have no need for spoil... She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness... She clothes herself in tapestry & purple... Her children rise up & bless her, and her husband praises her... Many daughters have done virtously, but you exceed them all... Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates. (It helps if you read it with a lilt in your voice!) At one time, I read this so often I could quote most of it word for word. I prayed over those words, verse by verse, and asked for God to help me epitomize the virtuous woman. I can't say I was always 100% successful at it, but that was that standard that I attempted to live up to. Lately there have been a lot of threads in the Home & Garden and Women's forums about housecleaning, and cooking, and how we organize our days & weeks to keep it all done, etc., and these have brought these scriptures to mind again. The problem is, my outward circumstances have changed so much, I think I thought all of these words didn't apply to me anymore. In the last year, I've moved all the way across the country two times; changed jobs; left all of my friends, family, church, familiar surroundings and lifestyle behind, and embarked on a whole new chapter of my life. I live in an apartment that is furnished by someone else, even down to the dishes, linens, and kitchen utensils. I have no choice of colors, or styles, or anything. I used to work in a purely office setting with mostly women; now, although I still do office work, I am in an isolated area working with all men, in a truly "manly" environment. My baby is in college in another state, so I have no child left at home, except for holidays & summer. My husband & I work together, so we are literally with each other 24/7, something we have never done before. My drive time to work used to be my best "alone" time, now even that is in a work truck with 1 or 2 more people(all men). There are usually work-related errands to run in the evenings, so we eat out most of the time and I seldom cook. There is a maid service that comes to clean every other week, so I clean very little. I have no women friends to shop with, or swap recipes with, or even share just an innocent bit of "gossip" with. We have found a church at both places we've lived this year, but it's difficult to really connect when you know you may only be there a few months. Same with trying to personalize the apartments we've lived in--it hardly seems worth the trouble when we may not live there long. I found myself homesick for my own house, my own "stuff", my own life, depressed and wondering if it's even worth making an effort to try to really "live", instead of just marking the days. And so, I have begun to read about the virtuous woman again... I've been mean & grouchy to my husband a lot lately, I need to make sure he knows how much I love & appreciate him--he's done this "life on the road" bit a lot longer than I have, and all for his family. I need to let him know that his heart can safely trust in me. Even with a cleaning person, I can "look to the ways of my household" better, and keep everything picked up and caught up better in between times. I need to "bring my food from afar" (go to the grocery store) and plan a little better to have some home-cooked meals at least a few nights a week. (Where's that crock-pot again?) I need to get my nails done, and take the time to put on a little make-up in the mornings, even though I work on the back side of the desert---I want my husband to be able to praise me & be proud of me. I need to start exercising--I need the strength to be able to do the things I need to do, and the energy, too. I need to turn off the tv---it enables me to "eat the bread of idleness" too much. I need to make sure that my child knows how proud I am of him, and that I am still keeping a prayer covering over him---I want him to be able to say of me--my mom knows how to pray--that's the best praise I think I could ever receive. I want the fruit of my hands to have eternal consequences--fruit that remains. I want to be the virtuous woman.

sisrev -> The "P" word (3/21/2007 6:05:11 PM)
I have a confession to make. I am---the "P" word. No, not that "P" word, the other "P" word. I am Pentecostal. I am not charismatic, or full gospel, or spirit-filled. Well, let me take that back. I am all of those things. I am charismatic, I am full gospel, and I am spirit-filled. But I am beyond those things. I am Pentecostal. I pray in tongues. A lot. I sing in tongues. A lot. I have given messages in tongues and interpretation. I have operated in the gifts of word of wisdom and word of knowledge, as well as the gift of discernment of spirits. I have been slain in the spirit. I have had dreams and visions. I have danced, run, and shouted under the power and anointing of the Holy Spirit. Not all of it at once, mind you, and not all the time. But enough that I can count myself as 100%, unreservedly Pentecostal. I am 4th generation Pentecostal. My great grandfather preached the Pentecostal message in the earliest 20th century, even though he couldn't read or write. He took one of his kids with him and told them where to find the scriptures he needed, and they read them for him. He knew his Bible, regardless of his personal limitations. My grandmother was an ordained minister in a Pentecostal denomination for somewhere over 50 years. She preached in brush arbors, and from the front porches of houses, and from the pulpits of many churches. She pastored several churches, including her last one in the entire decade of her 70's. She retired in a sense when she was 80, due to the poor health of my grandfather and later on of herself. My uncle had been preaching for over 40 years when he died last year. My cousin, his son, has been preaching for over 20. I have no illusions that being Pentecostal makes me any more "saved" than those that are not. I don't judge those that believe differently, I consider them brothers & sisters in Christ. But I was Pentecostal when we were still called "Holy Rollers", and thought by most to be crazy, ignorant, or both. In an effort to be accepted by other, more mainstream denominations, many prefer to down-play the very qualities and attributes that make us unique. But I am no longer willing to do so. I am Pentecostal, and I am proud of it.

sisrev -> What's in YOUR wallet? (3/29/2007 7:52:19 PM)
I've been reading some of the threads in the financial forum, and for some reason I mind myself thinking over and over of the credit card commercial tagline---"What's in YOUR wallet?" So this is my literal interpretation of what's in MY wallet: $26.00 cash $1.29 change Driver's license. What a lovely picture....oh yeah, back to reality.... a debit card for bank "A" a debit card for bank "B" auto insurance card library card Mastercard from bank "C" Mastercard from bank "D" Grocery store discount card Christian bookstore membership punch card postage stamps video store membership card Sam's club membership card Border's bookstores membership card Health insurance card Ladies clothing store charge card Discount card from store mentioned above Minister's credentials card Checkbook for bank "B" If I was a stranger, what could I learn about myself from this? If I was a detective, what would this say about the person I was investigating? It's actually more revealing that I thought it would be. What's in YOUR wallet?

sisrev -> Do not strive (4/4/2007 1:38:41 AM)
My hackles have been raised several times the last few days. I think I understand that not all Christians have the same viewpoint on certain things (!), nor do they all interpret scripture the same way (!). I have an intellectual curiosity at times to find out how some people have arrived at their viewpoints. I'd really to know what scriptures they are thinking of, how it�s interpreted, how it stands with the whole of scripture, etc. I find, though, that there are some who are essentially not interested in discussing differing interpretations, different ways of "dividing the Word of truth". They are �right�, and they are out to prove it to at all cost. I've found myself starting to reply in the same vein, and having to stop and rethink what I want to be preserved for "posterity". I have started several entries, and canceled before posting them; and have even posted some and then gone back and deleted them. II Timothy 2:14-16 states-- �Remind them of these things, charging them before the Lord not to strive about words to no profit, to the ruin of the hearers. Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. But shun profane and idle babblings, for they will increase to more ungodliness. Verse 23 adds this: �But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife.� There�s even a thread asking if we are willing to sin in order to be �right�. I like to think that I wouldn�t go that far, but how far is too far? I don't want to find out, neither do I want to concern myself with �idle babblings�, or striving about words �to no profit�. Reminder to self: I am to present myself approved to God, not to man. Time to retire from the field of battle, in this war, at least. There are too many other fronts that need reinforcements.

sisrev -> Firstfruits (4/8/2007 10:57:13 PM)
I Corinthians 15:20 But now is Christ risen from the dead, and become the firstfruits of them that slept. He is not here, for He is risen. Celebrate Firstfruits--celebrate the risen Christ!

sisrev -> Lead us up the mountain (4/11/2007 5:05:14 PM)
"Lead us up the mountain, lead us to the place Your Glory dwells, God." These are the words of simple worship chorus on a CD by Matt Redman called "Facedown". I've been listening to it some this afternoon, as well as the song following it, the title cut "Facedown"--"And I'll fall facedown, as Your glory shines around..." I've been reading in Exodus, about Moses going up the mountain to meet with God. The Lord gave Moses the plans for the tabernacle, a place for the sacrifices and ceremonies necessary so that unholy man could become sanctified enough to meet with God face to face. God's intent was that Isreal become a nation of priests. Sounds familiar, doesn't it--kind of like "the priesthood of the believer"? The people were afraid, though, of the presence of God. They stood "afar off". God told Moses, "make Me a sanctuary, the I may dwell among them". Even after that, after the whole golden calf fiasco and the ensuing punishment; after Moses interceded on Israel's behalf; after God told Moses that He would send an angel to take them on to the promised land, and Moses interceded for them yet again...Moses pitched his tent outside the camp, and the people stood at their tent doors and worshipped---even then, they were afraid to meet with God face to face. I've had some experience with feeling like I've been on the mountain with God. God even warned me about it ahead of time--that some people, those who wouldn't go up the mountain--those who were afraid--would look at me differently after that. And they did. Have you ever met someone, and almost immediately something in your spirit recognized something in their spirit? They've been to the mountain. And have you ever met someone else, fellow Christians, even, and no matter how hard you try, you just don't "get" them---and they just don't "get" you? Sometimes, it's just a matter of personalities---but sometimes, it's because they haven't been to the mountain, and they're scared. They don't understand the passion, and the desire that you have to dwell in the presence of God--to live in the Holy of Holies, where the very Shekinah glory of God is all of the illumination you need. I wish I could say that I stay there all the time, but I don't. I've come down and found others dancing around a "golden calf", and petulantly thrown the stone tablets on the ground. I've been wounded by some who were suspicious of my motives. I've been accused of wrongdoing where there is none. I've even avoided the mountain altogether, because I was tired and didn't want to stand out from the crowd so much. I think there's a sleeping giant inside me, though, one's that struggling to wake up. A giant of frustrated desires, unfulfilled dreams, and dashed hopes. If I can just make it back up the mountain.... The view can be scary, sometimes. I'm afraid of heights. I might get vertigo, or I might fall. Or I might just get to experience the glory of God, in a way that will change me forever. "Lead us up the mountain, lead us to the place Your glory dwells, God."

sisrev -> From the heights to the depths... (4/25/2007 11:41:01 AM)
I've been in the "slough of despair" this last week or so. I've been really tired. My church sponsored a big outreach event last week, and I attended every night. I didn't have to do much but show up, but I found myself dreading it all week. This was not the kind of event I would have chosen to attend--nothing wrong with it, just not my style--but I wanted to support the pastor and those who worked so hard to make this a success. Mentally, it just didn't do it for me. Spiritually, either. I was glad for the event, and glad for the response, but I felt drained afterwards, instead of refreshed or renewed. Work has been stressful, more so for my husband than for myself, but it affects me because it affects him. My son is stressed out by school--luckily, this semester will soon be over! But again, it affects me because it affects him. I'm homesick. I miss my friends, and my extended family, and living in the "Bible Belt". And the southern way of life. People don't smile much around here. A strange man verbally assaulted me in the parking lot of the grocery store this weekend. Every time I think it's really spring, we have another snowstorm. (I'm tired of "winter mix"!) And on and on.... I am so thankful, though, that my life in Christ is not dependent on how I feel. I've been reminding myself of Paul's words: "For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. " (Romans 8:38-39) Thank you, Lord, for your Word and your Holy Spirit who quickens it to us.

sisrev -> Home is where the heart is (5/7/2007 11:19:00 PM)
I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home!!! Did I forget to mention that I'm home? I'm so very glad to be here, even if it's only temporary. There's just something about life in the south--especially the small town/rural south. Slower, easier pace. Nicer people. Heat. Did I mention heat? And humidity. Way, way lots of heat & humidity. Unseasonable heat & humidity. Ever hear the saying, "It's like stepping into an oven?" Try a sauna. We discovered that the heat pump at the house wasn't working right when it ran day & night for a day or two and it was still almost 80 degrees inside. Only here could we find someone to come out at 9 pm on Sunday night to look at it and charge it up with freon, and NOT charge an arm & a leg for it. After all, he lived just right down the road--may as well come by & take a look at it, otherwise he wouldn't be able to get to until the next afternoon. Relief was almost immediate. I've only been here three days, and I've already eaten some real fried chicken, and some chicken & sausage gumbo. Even in the heat good gumbo is well worth it. Oh, and I've had some chicken and dumplings AND some chicken and dressing. All eaten outside at a picnic table. (We just happened to hit it right at family reunion time). I was looking around at all of the family black sheep, and realized--we're ALL black sheep. Now THAT is what family is like in the south. There are one or two disadvantages---like no high-speed internet---at least not out where we live. And only one place in town to get "fancy" coffee. I can buy live crawfish, though! And boudain. And real sausage. And I can get gumbo through the drive-through if I want to take it home with me. Next weekend for mother's day, we're going to make two kinds of home-made ice cream. The kind you have to have rock salt & ice to make. I love the south.

sisrev -> Let the good times roll! (5/11/2007 8:36:08 PM)
I think I'm getting food obsessed since I've been home. I've eaten gumbo at least 4 times in the last week. I've had boudain, and crawfish cooked two different ways---fried and in etoufee'. I keep thinking of all of the things I could buy & freeze and take back with me. I would have to buy a bigger ice chest, and all I have in our apartment is the freezer compartment of the fridge, so I will need to choose wisely. Meanwhile, I am eating my way from one end of town to another---happy as a pig in a poke, and behaving like one, too. It's so pretty and green here. There's real grass everywhere, and cows are turned out to pasture, not still eating hay like they are farther north. There are trees, too, which makes for lots of shade. I miss the landscape here when I'm not at home. I don't wanna go back, but I know I have to. I need my job, and I need to be with my hubby. We lived apart for a long time, and we've gotten spoiled to being back together. I miss him, I wish he could have come with me. I miss my little church I found in Colorado. That's the one thing I'll hate to leave behind when we move on again, as we invariably will. I've gotten used to being close to lots of shopping and restaurants. We drove 50 miles today to get to a town with a major chain bookstore. So, there are trade offs. I'm trying to learn to be content in whatever place I find myself. It all has good points and bad---I just need to learn to concentrate more on the good, and live in the moment, rather than looking at all of the things I don't have, or that are different from what I'm used to. So, in the spirit of living in the moment---I think I'll have some more gumbo for supper, while I can get it from the drive-through. Lasseiz le bon temps roulez, ya'll.

sisrev -> home again, home again (6/3/2007 1:22:08 AM)
Things have been really busy the last couple of weeks. I enjoyed my visit home immensely. It was good to see family and friends, and just be at home for a change. My sweety flew down and had only one day home, just so I wouldn't have to drive back to Colorado all by myself. I've driven some fairly long distances alone before, but it sure was easier and much more pleasant with company. We were back only four days when we left to go to California for the long weekend. This time we visited hubby's family and were in his old stomping grounds--something we don't get to do very often. I think it does us all good to go back to our past sometimes. It's fun to re-live old memories with those that lived them with us to start with. Some of the stories hubby and his brother told make me wonder how they ever lived to adulthood! I think I had a much more sedate childhood than he did. I was just counting and realized that in just under a month, I've been in 10 different states. Wow--no wonder I've been feeling tired! They were both good trips, though, and sorely needed by both of us. There's just something about being in our old, familiar haunts, that remind us of where we've been and how far we've come. __________________________________________________________________________________ Today I went to a seminar on releasing the prophetic. I didn't realize at the time I agreed to attend that it was an all-day event. It was long, but enjoyable. Some of the information was similar to things I've either heard or read before, but it's good when the Lord allows some things to be brought back up to the "top" of our minds. I have a lot of information and thoughts and feelings that I need to digest. Gives me something to chew on for a while.

sisrev -> To blog, or not to have blogged... (7/7/2007 11:08:29 PM)
I didn't realize how long it had been since I've "blogged" (sidebar: Is "blogged" a verb? To blog, have blogged, should have blogged...) Lately I've been priviledged to attend several different seminars and conferences. One of the most recent was on "Intercessory Worship". It makes me think about the aroma of pure worship--when we get to that place that we are pure before the Lord--repented up, prayed up, not in need of anything more than the presence of the Almighty God in all of His fullness. Not seeking, just basking. I'm convinced that when that happens, we achieve break-through in the realm of the Spirit, "beyond what we ask or think".

sisrev -> Thanks for the memories... (7/15/2007 5:01:16 PM)
We had such a good service at church this morning. We are a small local body, but there is a unity of Spirit there that is difficult to find in many churches these days. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, because I am going to be leaving soon, and I know I will miss this body. I'll miss the people that I've met here, but it's more than that. I've been in many local bodies where following the order of service reigns supreme, regardless of the needs of the people or of the move of the Spirit. This morning during praise & worship, we didn't just sing--we praised the Lord. We worshipped. As the Spirit moved across the body, there was no rush to move ahead with the service--we lingered until the Spirit lifted, and then we moved on. The same thing happened last Wednesday night--I got to the church about 10 minutes early, there was some music playing softly in the background, and the 4 or 5 people who were already there were gathered at the front of the church, kneeling at the altar, or at the pew. When service started, we took the time to pray for one of our members who was going through a hard time. We sang songs, we prayed, we had Bible Study--at one point, the pastor asked if we wanted to proceed to the end of the lesson, or leave off where we were and continue next week--and everyone said, no, lets keep going. I hope they all know what a truly rare thing they have here.

sisrev -> Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping... (7/28/2007 9:59:55 PM)
...into the future... Remember that old song? Was it Steve Miller Band? I can't remember. Truth is, time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping....into the past. Doesn't have the same ring to it, I guess, when you try to sing it, but it makes more sense. I'm down to less than three weeks left in Colorado. As homesick as I was a few weeks ago, I'm starting to get sad about moving on again. I'll even be at home, not some new place on the road, but there is still an element of sadness. I enjoy the view of the mountains, and even the wide-open space on the high plains that go right up to the foothills. There is no real transition--one minute you're not in the mountains, the next minute you are. As tired as I get of the changeable weather, I'll miss the snow. First Alaska, then Colorado--what a change it will be to winter in Louisiana again! Guess I can pack away the snow boots, eh??? I will miss....the restaurants and stores and places to go and scenery to see. I will not miss....the crime rate, and the traffic---all elements of being in larger city, some of which are good, and some, not-so-good. I am looking forward to....being close to family & friends, familiar surroundings, having my own stuff, in my own house! And the yummy food--(see my May entries, above!) The slower pace of small town life. The trees....the greenness of the landscape. I will miss my church here. The pastor here is in denial(!) that I'm leaving. It's nice to know I'll be missed when I go. I am not planning to go back to the church I was attending at home before I left, right now I feel lead to become part of another, smaller body, one that is struggling and going through a hard time right now. I am praying that I can follow the leading of the Lord in this. What's that other old saying? "Time & tide wait for no man". Time is slipping, slipping, slipping---into the past, but also drawing me closer to a new future. Sing on....

sisrev -> Living in the moment (8/7/2007 4:33:26 PM)
The last couple of weeks have been hectic and frazzled and everything in between. DS�s flight to Colorado was cancelled due to a problem at the airport he was connecting through, and rescheduled two days later. We weren�t sure for a while if he�d even get to come, but it all worked out in the end. DH almost collapsed at work. We weren't sure at the time if it was his heart, the heat, overexertion, or something completely different. Later I looked the symptoms up online and it had all the criteria of a heart attack. Thankfully, by the time he agreed to see a doctor the next day, everything appeared to be within normal ranges, and there is no permanent damage to the heart. He has a referral to a cardiologist for a follow-up, but they think it is strictly stress-related. He has already begun to make some changes at work and tell some people �No� when they attempt to put things off on him that are not his responsibility. I�m having a hard time finishing up everything at work. I'm worried about going home and leaving DH alone, but at the same time I�m restless and ready to get the show on the road and go if I'm going. I keep thinking of things I want to do when I get there, and am having a hard time concentrating on what needs to be done now! I'm torn between being needed here and being needed there. I'm having a hard time praying and studying, lately, too. I enjoy the time I spend in the Word, and in prayer, but I'm having a hard time digging in, and I think it shows in my teaching, and my living, too! Why is it that we find it so difficult to live in the moment? We tend to spend too much time living in the past, or borrowing from the future, to enjoy where we are in the here-and-now. If we're here, we want to be there; when we're there, we want to be here. Lord, help me to enjoy each moment as it comes. Help me to find satisfaction in a job well done, whether my mind wants to run ahead, or behind, or off on a tangent someplace completely new. Help me to enjoy the place I'm in while I'm there, and not always be looking ahead or behind or off to the side. Help me to learn to be present in each moment, and not be pre-occupied by other things.

sisrev -> I'm so happy, here's the reason why... (8/14/2007 3:30:01 PM)
...Jesus took my burdens all away! Anybody remember that old chorus? That's all I can remember of it, but the peppy little tune and this first line keep running through my head right now. I've been a little down lately--I have change looming on the horizon, and if I've learned one thing about myself it's this---I do NOT cope well with change! Even if it's something I've planned and have been anticipating, the realities somehow never quite live up to my expectations. Things just look different in real life than in my imagination. Can you believe it?? I'm not omniscient! What a concept! I'm convinced that all change comes with good and bad attached to it. Or maybe I should just say, pros and cons. Just as there's no cloud without a silver lining, there's no silver lining without a cloud. However much we may think we want something to happen, there will be things about it that may leave something to be desired. By the same token, things that we dread often turn out to have unanticipated bright spots in the midst of the darkness. Today I've had some news that exhilarates and terrifies me, all at the same time. A door of opportunity is opening up--one that is full of possible pros and cons; ups and downs; good times and bad times. And yet, here I am cautious and slightly worried, but with a jingle of a chorus running through the back of my mind... "I'm so happy, here's the reason why--Jesus took my burdens all away..."

sisrev -> New Testament Church (8/25/2007 8:57:49 PM)
What does it mean to model "doing church" after the New Testament pattern? I know, I know, everyone is quick to point out that we are supposed to be the church, not go to the church, or even do church. I think it's all a matter of semantics, myself. Of course we are the church, but there are also things that we do that is also church. In the second chapter of Acts, right after the part that mentions 3,000 souls being added to the church that day, it states, 'and they continued steadfastly in the apostles doctrine, and fellowship, and the breaking of bread and prayers'. I'm having a problem with that word, "steadfastly". Not many people these days want to continue "steadfastly" in anything, much less church. I guess I have been there, during times in my Christian walk that I had no commitment to a particular ministry--it's so easy to think, I just don't want to go this morning. It's always been easier for me to discipline myself to actually do the things I'm supposed to do when I've made a real commitment to doing so. Signing up to teach Sunday School, for instance, insures a much more regular attendance on my part. I started a new gig this week. Tomorrow is my first Sunday morning at a new church, one that has had a lot of ups & downs, and is on the tail end of down swing. In order to do church--outreach, and evangelism, reaching the lost of the nieghborhood, etc, I have to have some bodies in the seats who are committed to being the church. To being salt & light, to continuing steadfastly in the apostles doctrine, and fellowship, and the breaking of bread, and of prayers. Jesus said that we are to pray to the Lord of the harvest, that He might send forth laborers to the fields. Lord, grant that it might be so.

sisrev -> Feeding the hungry (9/3/2007 9:52:49 AM)
Last night I had the opportunity to feed the hungry. Someone came to the church looking for some help--they were hungry. Now, I've worked in and around churches for many years, and believe me, I have heard my share of sob stories, both real and make-believe, so I'm no patsy. But this one had enough of the right elements that rang true. Three of us ended up talking to this person, and we all three independently came to the conclusion that this was a legitimate need. We live in a small town, rural area, so resources are somewhat limited on a Sunday night. No food bank open, no ministerial alliance on call, no one to help but us. First some questions--how many in the family, what do ya'll like, what resources to you have to save leftovers, etc. One gentleman went to the freezer at the church and gave the person some ice for their ice chest, while two of us made a grocery run to the next little town. It wasn't much--a couple of already cooked chickens and some potato salad from the deli; bread and sandwich fixings, chips; cereal and milk; lemonade mix; and just for fun, a multi-pack of M&Ms. Enough of everything to last them a couple of days. The gentleman who went and got the ice out of the freezer told us he didn't know if he would have given them food or not if he had been there "in charge" of making the decision, but he agreed that we had done the right thing. He was really moved by our willingness to take the time and money to give "real" help, enough so that he gave enough money to the benevolence fund to cover all that we did and then some. We'll probably go back around during the week to check on them. He's already offered to come mow the grass at the church or do something to work it off, and they've said they'll come to our church Wednesday night. I don't know if they really will, or if he'll really come back at all. But the Lord touched something in all of our hearts last night. Sometimes we need to give just as much or more so, as those on the other end of the gift need to recieve.

sisrev -> Tired and true! (10/4/2007 12:31:57 AM)
Lately I've been both tired and tried, but in spite of it all I'm trying to remain true! I've been home a little over six weeks now, and keeping up on-line has been a real challenge without high-speed internet. Now that I'm working a full-time, paying job, maybe I'll break down and see what kind of high-speed service I can get out here in the boondocks. Trouble is, I have a full-time non-paying job, too, as well as a house to try to maintain, and attempting to keep up a semblance of a family life. Not much time for surfing, so maybe it's just as well. I was all excited when I realized I made it in from church in time to catch the last part of the "Top Chef" finale on the bravo channel. I'm kind of a meat and potatoes gal myself, but for some reason I love to watch these shows. Anyway, I made it through the last 30 minutes or so, right down to the wire of the live reveal. The next thing I knew, it was 30 minutes later, and I realized I had dozed off and slept right through the best part. Oh, well, better luck next time. I hope they replay this episode again later in the week. Life had been, er, em, shall I say, "Challenging" lately. I am busy, busy, busy, and now have a new/old job on top of everything else. I was hoping to be able to not go back to work quite so soon, but my last paycheck from the previous employment was long gone, and DH was getting antsy about the money, or lack thereof. And, I have to admit, I was starting to get a little worried, as well. So, I bit the bullet and turned in an application. Just one, at the employer I had before I left to go on the road with hubby 18 months ago. Then I waited. Just when I was thinking it was safe to make daytime plans, there it came, out of the blue, the dreaded call. I did have almost a week's repreive, as I had been gone long enough that I had to go through the bakground check and drug screening. And passed, as I knew I would. (There are advantages to living a clean life!) So, here I am happy to be drawing a good paycheck again, but a little sad that my time off didn't last a little longer. I'm trying to look on the bright side of it--at least they wanted me back! And the same rate of pay as when I left, so I didn't have to start over at the bottom. Same department, same team, same boss. Now I am immersing myself in re-learning the old terminology of an industry I wasn't sure I would ever work in again. It'll all come back, I'm sure, it just feels really odd to be thinking in different terms all over again. Well, sleep is calling me again. One of my favorite verses right now---"and so He gives His beloved sleep"

sisrev -> What color is your lagniappe? (11/2/2007 12:21:42 PM)
I�ve been suffering this week with a self-diagnosed case of plantar fasciitis. I�ve been doing foot and calf stretches and taking an OTC pain-killer that�s also an anti-inflammatory. I�ve had some relief, but not to the degree I had hoped. I keep hearing these horror stories of people who have suffered from this chronically, and that it can take months to fully resolve. All I can say to that is---ooowwwwccccchhh. ______________________________ I�ve been back at work at my old job for a month, now. In some respects, it seems as though I never left. I�m in a different cubicle than I was when I left, but then I �lived� in five different cubbies over the course of my previous employment, anyway. I�m right underneath an air vent, which works to my advantage right now while the air conditioner is still running. Once the heat kicks in, I won�t be so happy with my location. Another advantage of being under an air vent is that the sound makes for a good �ambient� background to drown out other noise around me. _____________________________ My house looks like the three little pigs live there. Actually there are only two of us there right now, as hubby is still working in Colorado. I miss him so much. In some ways, it�s easier when he�s not there. I mean, I feel bad when I don�t cook, and when the house looks bad, but it�s much worse when he�s there. He gets upset, I get upset, and we squabble when things are in disarray. I�d rather have him home, though, even if means more time on my feet in the evenings, and less in the recliner. ______________________________ I�m up and down lately in my feelings about my church. We are a small congregation, trying to rebuild with just a handful. The building is old, and we have been in the process of finishing up some projects that were started but not completed under the previous pastor. There is a lot of built up disappointment and apathy that keeps coming to the forefront. I keep trying to teach that sometimes actions have to come before feelings, and the birth of action is in our thought process. God created us as emotional creatures, but we are not be controlled by our emotions. Emotions are the colors that fill out our black and white lives, but they are the icing, not the main course. Or as we say in Cajun country�the lagniappe.

sisrev -> Great expectations or great disappointments? (11/21/2007 11:24:23 AM)
Great expectations can sometimes lead to great disappointment. What irony to have previously posted about not being controlled by our emotions, and here I am, feeling so down and out. I am truly trying not to allow my actions to be controlled by my emotions, but my feelings are another thing altogether. I have really tried the last few days to take a step back and see why I�m feeling this way. Part of it is just that�expectations that have been disappointed. People have let me down. Perhaps I should qualify that�some people have let me down. When people say that they want things to change, to be better, and that they want to be a part of it, I have an expectation that they will be willing to actually do something about it. I am finding that isn�t always the case. When they say they want to do certain things, what they mean is that they want others to do those things, and they will stand by approvingly while someone else does all of the work. Of course they do want to share in the benefits, and bask in the reflected glory, always supposing that things work out and there is any glory. Besides disappointed expectations, I feel rejected by someone who I considered a friend. This is a person that I have had some issues with in the past, but I thought we had come far beyond those days. Apparently on some level we have not. DH is far away (again) for this holiday. We�ve had Thanksgiving apart for three out of the last six years. It�s not just the holiday, but at holiday time it seems worse. I worry that so much time apart changes us both, and not always for the better. I am having dinner at my folks�, with DS and my sister and her family. He is having pizza all alone in an apartment. I would rather be there. I know that I needed to come home when I did. But right now I am so wishing that I were somewhere else.

sisrev -> Right, or righteous? (12/3/2007 12:54:31 PM)
Things are in disarray at my little church. There is a part of me that wants to stand and fight, and part of me that wants to run away to avoid the appearance of conflict. We southern girls are raised to avoid the appearance of conflict at all cost. In our families, on the job, at church, wherever. It�s okay to have conflict, and the good Lord knows we all have it, but we must keep up appearances at all cost. When we fight in church, we each bring such a moral superiority that we dare not back down�after all, we�re RIGHT, aren�t we? We just want to make sure everything gets done the RIGHT way. I mean, we�re just standing up for what�s RIGHT, right? Lord, deliver us from being RIGHT, so we can truly be righteous. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been RIGHT.

sisrev -> In the valley of decision (1/9/2008 5:19:29 PM)
�Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision� This verse keeps going through my head the last few days. I am in a valley of decision right now. I know that there are things that I�ve done, right and wrong, that bring me to this crossroads. I have waffled back and forth for the last 6 weeks. I must hear from the Lord, and hear clearly enough so that I know without a shadow of a doubt that it�s from the Lord and not from anything else. �My sheep know my voice, and the voice of another they will not follow�. Part of my problem is that I tend to second guess myself. (My husband says I think too much sometimes!) I�ve allowed myself to be blown about by every wind of circumstance, to paraphrase another verse that�s been going through my head lately. Lord, speak to Your servant.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition 2.5 ANSI