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RE: Abortion - 7/23/2007 9:29:24 AM
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howIloveHim
Posts: 62
Joined: 7/17/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
The book points out that when we confess our sins, we need to confess them to someone who'll write in sand- not stone. The same goes for when someone confesses their sins to us.
Hischild1994,
Wow thats good. Never thought about that.
quote:
I truly felt I had no choice. Now I know better, but you can't go back...
PrincessDonna,
Though there is no turning back but praise God His grace is upon us. I never knew all the stress that would come with the abortion, I also thought it would just be a quick fix.
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RE: Abortion - 7/24/2007 8:26:56 PM
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dramagirl4God
Posts: 732
Joined: 12/5/2006
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For those of you who have done the Forgiven and Set Free, could you please pm me and tell what your experience of healing was after the class? I'm specifically looking for healing from the Post Abortion Syndrom Sypmtoms you'd been enduring, and what, if any, do you experinence now? This is for my mother who called me knowing about this thread wondering if it's actually possible for her to have freedom from these symptoms in her life. Thank you.
_____________________________
Today is a new day, and I will choose to live it with joy!
~Heather
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RE: Abortion - 7/24/2007 9:17:20 PM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 2221
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dramagirl4God
For those of you who have done the Forgiven and Set Free, could you please pm me and tell what your experience of healing was after the class? I'm specifically looking for healing from the Post Abortion Syndrom Sypmtoms you'd been enduring, and what, if any, do you experinence now? This is for my mother who called me knowing about this thread wondering if it's actually possible for her to have freedom from these symptoms in her life. Thank you.
It is possible to get to the point where you can live with the fact that you've had an abortion. There will always be some regrets. However, the pain will lesson with time.
I have not done that program, but I've heard wonderful things about it.
I have read some books on recovering from an abortion. I've not done any of the Bible studies aimed directly at post-abortion. I have found that for me the best thing is talking openly about it with people who "write it in sand, not in stone" like I mentioned in an earlier post.
Talking to people who care and perhaps seeking professional help (which may include anti-depressants) really helps a lot.
If your mother wants to just spill everything out to someone who will listen, she can e-mail me at Hischild1994@yahoo.com or she may even feel comfortable coming here.
From my understanding, the OP's intention is to let women know they are not alone and they are still loved while not condoning the abortion itself.
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RE: Abortion - 7/25/2007 1:16:03 PM
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howIloveHim
Posts: 62
Joined: 7/17/2007
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I have been keeping all the post abortion classes in my prayers.
quote:
ORIGINAL: um_lilly
One of my old friends had a few abortions before we both became christians. Of course she was one of these people who thought that in order to keep a man in her life, she had to get pregnant for him. The abortions really wrecked her fertility. She was never able to concieve again after the last one due to an incompetent cervix.
That must be very hard. Is she going to look to adopt?
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RE: Abortion - 7/25/2007 4:17:35 PM
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myka
Posts: 711
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My sister had an abortion when she was 16; I was 19 at the time. I knew about it and tried to discourage her from doing it-- our parents also knew. She was in that very dark place and couldn't see any way out. It has affected all our lives and still does today. My parents were supportive and would have helped in any way they could.
She and her family are pretty involved with their church and the Christian school as well as their children's lives.
quote:
Question for those of you who are adults whose moms had abortions...how old were you when you found out? How did it affect your relationship? This is something I have thought of with my own kids. I know the time has not come for me to share this with them, and I'm not sure how I'll deal with it when it does.
Although it doesn't directly address my situation, my sister is pretty open about it today (she doesn't try to hide it any more) and I think that she has told her older children--they are both girls 19 and 15 years old. I wouldn't share it until the kids are older and you are really getting into the sexuality thing.
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RE: Abortion - 7/26/2007 7:47:39 PM
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beefcake_sleuth
Posts: 187
Joined: 11/18/2005
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Had an abortion twelve years ago, when I was sixteen. July 14th. This year I didn't even think about it on July 14th. Around the 20th I realized and felt pretty bad that it didn't even cross my mind on the anniversary.
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RE: Abortion - 7/27/2007 10:38:26 AM
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howIloveHim
Posts: 62
Joined: 7/17/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sarsaparilla
Had an abortion twelve years ago, when I was sixteen. July 14th. This year I didn't even think about it on July 14th. Around the 20th I realized and felt pretty bad that it didn't even cross my mind on the anniversary.
What made you feel bad about it? Did you feel that you forgot about the baby or is if you have gotten over it and let go?
_____________________________
When someone is yelling at you or angry with you, do not get angry back. Just wish blessings upon them. The reaction is priceless : )
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RE: Abortion - 7/27/2007 11:55:35 AM
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um_lilly
Posts: 71
Joined: 6/20/2007
From: The Carolinas
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quote:
ORIGINAL: howIloveHim
I have been keeping all the post abortion classes in my prayers.
quote:
ORIGINAL: um_lilly
One of my old friends had a few abortions before we both became christians. Of course she was one of these people who thought that in order to keep a man in her life, she had to get pregnant for him. The abortions really wrecked her fertility. She was never able to concieve again after the last one due to an incompetent cervix.
That must be very hard. Is she going to look to adopt?
I was going to reply to another poster that asked about this. No, she is not going to adopt. She is finally married to a really good christian man but in someway feels that it wouldn't be fair to raise a child when she aborted a few. That's her choice. She's very active in our youth groups so I think that sort of helps her in a way.
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RE: Abortion - 7/27/2007 12:10:19 PM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 2221
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sarsaparilla
Had an abortion twelve years ago, when I was sixteen. July 14th. This year I didn't even think about it on July 14th. Around the 20th I realized and felt pretty bad that it didn't even cross my mind on the anniversary.
The anniversary can sneak up on us and make us feel saddened. Mine was late July, so sometimes it can be hard to get through this time of the year.
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RE: Abortion - 7/28/2007 11:56:20 AM
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Memaw.
Posts: 2730
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
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I haven't had an abortion so I apologize for butting in here, but my daughter is considering getting one and I don't know what to say to her to convince her it isn't the right decision.
Someone said they wished they could talk to the girl before they chose it, I have this chance and I don't want to blow it, I don't know what to say to her.
_____________________________
~Kimmie
Courtesy is free. Quote from Jalanda
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RE: Abortion - 7/28/2007 9:18:13 PM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 2221
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Memaw.
I haven't had an abortion so I apologize for butting in here, but my daughter is considering getting one and I don't know what to say to her to convince her it isn't the right decision.
Someone said they wished they could talk to the girl before they chose it, I have this chance and I don't want to blow it, I don't know what to say to her.
I'll pm you my phone number. You can call and talk if you like.
It was me who said that I wish I could talk to them beforehand.
She may not be up for talking to someone who is pro-life, but then again, she may.
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RE: Abortion - 7/28/2007 11:01:51 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1681
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
Status: offline
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When I was 18, my then boyfriend got drunk and raped me. My mother accused me of being a whore and demanded that I get an abortion. I don't know what hurt worse...the fact I had been ill-used or the fact that my Christian mother would demand that I kill my unborn child simply so she would not be embarrassed or have to deal with the "talking". I caved and had an abortion.
I regret it. I hate that I did it. I have, in the past, hated my mother for putting me in that position. I feel pity for her now...that she would buy into the world's solutions for a situation that simply needed God's love and forgiveness and that people's opinions mattered more to her than what her own daughter was going through....b
I had a wonderful psychology teacher at the Christian college I went to that fall. He counseled me to pray and ask Jesus to hold my baby for me and to tell my baby that I was sorry that I was so foolish. He assured me that Jesus would hold and rock my little one for me...and wipe away all pain from that baby's memory. He reminded me to pray for my mother...and ask God to help me forgive her and love her again as well.
I am forgiven. Jesus promised me that if I confess and turn away from sin...all sin will be cleansed from me.
I am hopeful...Jesus holds my child's hand in His....and my baby will know how much I love him/her inspite of my actions.
I am at peace...Jesus rocks my baby daily (in Heaven's time)....
Do I still ache? yes. Do I still struggle with grief? yes, particulary at the time of year my baby would have been born. I would worry more if I did not. I am forgiven...but nothing can fill the ache of THAT child not being in my life....but someday...I will get to rock that baby....and introduce him/her to the siblings that God has blessed me with since also blessing me with a good Christian man who knew my past and loved and married me anyway.
I do not know whether to tell my children or not. I wrestle with that. It is a forgiven sin....I did tell my husband because he had a right to know what damage I had to my heart.....
I think I will probably only tell my children if it would help them in any way.
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Abortion - 7/28/2007 11:42:41 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10210
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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Memaw, I would also be willing to email or talk on the phone with your daughter. PM me if you'd like my email.
quote:
I do not know whether to tell my children or not. I wrestle with that. It is a forgiven sin....I did tell my husband because he had a right to know what damage I had to my heart.....
I think I will probably only tell my children if it would help them in any way.
WOF, I have thought of this part I bolded, but I'm not sure how I would know when it would help them to know. Maybe they're too young for me to know that, but my thought is...I want them to know the devastation such a horrible thing causes BEFORE they need to use the information. What if I decided they needed to know and they or a close friend who I might have helped, already had made the decision, KWIM?
Also, I sometimes feel the pull to work with CareNet and I do think that will eventually happen. If I am open about my past enought to do that, I think my kids would find out somehow anyway and I'd rather they hear it from me first.
_____________________________
Baby on the way! Gideon or Esther?
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen. 2 Cor. 4:18
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RE: Abortion - 7/29/2007 12:56:00 AM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 2221
Status: offline
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Part of me wants to avoid this thread because it is right about the anniversary of my abortion. However, I keep being drawn to it so I guess I'm supposed to post something here. I'm not sure what.
There used to be a bumper sticker that says something along the lines of only half the patients who enter an abortion clinic will come out alive. This isn't true. Sometimes the woman is unknownly or knowly aborting a multiple pregnancy. Some women die during abortions.
Most post-abortive women will experience a form of depression that is far worse than PPD.
Many post-abortive women will attempt to take their lives.
Many drown their pain in booze and drugs.
OK- well, I've posted some facts and am still not compelled to leave this thread.
For those who want to know why or how a woman could think that abortion is the answer:
The guy I had been dating had already broken up with me because he thought I cheated on him. Truthfully, I had gone over to one of his friend's homes. There were supposed to be other people there. I was told they hadn't arrived yet, but they would be there soon. He fixed me a drink...... I don't remember anything else about that night. I did wind up being there the whole night. I may or may not have been raped. Maybe the baby belonged to the guy I was dating, maybe it belonged to his friend. I honestly don't know. I told him I was pg and he told me it wasn't his problem. His friend didn't own up to the "problem" either.
I talked to my dad. He and the rest of my family were very upset at me for getting a divorce in the first place. They felt that I was wrong for getting divorced, even though my ex abused the kids, me, drugs and alcohol. My dad paid for me to have an abortion. He said that any woman who doesn't know how to make a marriage work, shouldn't be bringing a baby into the world.
I was going through a custody battle. The people at the clinic told me that there was no way that a judge would give custody to an unmarried pregnant woman. They pointed out that my ex's attorney would make me out to be the town tramp.
Quite frankly, I was the town tramp. I had a reputation for being "easy" that I lived up to. I worked 8-11 am Tues. through Sat. at one job, 12-5 pm Mon. through Fri. at a second job and a third job 6-10 pm Thurs. through Sat. as a bar back. It was no secret that whomever got me drunk was going to get to take me home.
When I met this boyfriend, I thought it was love. I decided to be monogamous. He was the only man I'd been with for several months before I became pregnant. When he found out about the incident at his friend's house, he decided that I hadn't changed my ways at all and wanted nothing to do with me. It didn't help that his "friend" claimed that we had a great time and it was all my idea.
I met the lady at the clinic. She was compassionate and caring. I finally thought I had a friend. I went along with the abortion.
One night before the abortion, my ex bf came in where I was bar backing. He asked what I was going to do. I told him and he and his new girlfriend were kind enough to let the whole room know that I was going to have an abortion. The news spread like wild fire through the community. It was a small, conservative community.
I thought I was alone before I had the abortion. That was nothing compared to what I went through afterwards.
I called my "friend" at the clinic and asked her what to do about the depression. She said that it would pass in a week or so and it was really nothing to worry about. A few weeks later I called her back and she said that it couldn't possibly have anything to do with the abortion and that she couldn't help me.
I had complications following the abortion and had to take time off from work. I lost the 8-11 am job because of that.
I quit the bar backing job because I was having a hard time dealing with the guys who wanted to take me home.
I could've made ends meet barely on the 12-5 job. However, it was in advertising. Most of my clients were pretty conservative. About 85-90% of them called my employer and told them that they wanted an ad rep who was of higher moral character or they were pulling their ads. (None of them seemed to be bothered by my moral character when they were taking me home for the night.) I was demoted.
I had no female friends because I had been sleeping with most of their boyfriends or husbands.
I had no male friends because they only wanted someone to sleep with and I was only going to be in monogamous relationships.
I had no friends at work. My co-workers were only concerned about the quality of my work. I was a highly functional alcoholic, so no one had anything bad to say about my work. Even after I was demoted, there were no complaints about my work. However, most of my co-workers knew about my reputation, so they weren't on friendly terms with me.
A few months down the road, I found myself alone with Valium, Vicoden and Vodka. The only thing that stopped me was a phone call. It was my boss at the bar. He wanted me back. I decided to go back.
My husband and I had already met. He didn't really know too much about what was going on because he was new in town. He came in a few times when I was working. He was interested in a relationship and I was interested in one thing...... replacing the baby I had aborted. She's beautiful and now 14. It took me a long time though to realize she wasn't a replacement- that I could never replace the baby I aborted. When I got pg. with her, I quit drinking cold turkey. After I quit nursing her, I never really drank except on rare occassions.
It took a long time to get over the pain. Even after coming to Christ, I was having a hard time. For years I never talked to anyone about the abortion. I wouldn't tell any of my new Christian friends about it because I was afraid of being shunned.
It took a long time to forgive the others who were involved.
It took a longer time to accept that God had forgiven me.
It took an even longer time to forgive myself.
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RE: Abortion - 7/29/2007 1:04:48 AM
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Memaw.
Posts: 2730
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
Status: offline
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 Oh Roberta (((((hugs)))))
_____________________________
~Kimmie
Courtesy is free. Quote from Jalanda
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RE: Abortion - 7/29/2007 10:10:12 AM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1681
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
Status: offline
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Roberta,
You have come a long way since then...and you KNOW God has forgiven you.
All I can do is hug you as one woman to another who has traveled a road that no woman should ever feel she has to take.
Donna,
When I say if it would help my children...I mean that in the truest sense...in other words...it is something I pray for wisdom for every day and I fully expect God to lead me as He sees fit. I know that He will..becuase I had been counseled by pastors and other good godly people that I would not need to tell any future husband about my past and the abortion. I felt differently when I met my Lout (nickname for hubby)....I KNEW I HAD to tell him...he had to know all about me...or we could never be one...so I went against the 'counsel' I had been given...and told him everything.....I trust God to lead me in the same way when it comes to my children.
My kids know I am very against abortion and that I am all about helping the mothers and the babies...and they know from an early age exactly what abortion is.....maybe more so than children of women who have never had abortions...because I want them to KNOW...so that it will never even be a consideration of choice for them...and someday I am sure I will need to tell them of my past....but I trust God to "give me the ticket to speak".
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Abortion - 7/29/2007 10:23:38 AM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 2221
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: W.O.F.
Roberta,
You have come a long way since then...and you KNOW God has forgiven you.
All I can do is hug you as one woman to another who has traveled a road that no woman should ever feel she has to take.
((((hugs back))))
It is hard for a woman in that situation. She feels so lonely and scared and as you well know, often pressured.
And yes, I certainly do know and feel His love and forgiveness.
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RE: Abortion - 7/29/2007 5:19:32 PM
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myka
Posts: 711
Status: offline
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(((((((Roberta))))))) thank you for sharing your story. I wish that I could put my arms around all of you and hug you with Jesus' arms.
How I wish that no one had to go down the road; I thought that about my sister, too, at the time. It really broke my heart. It is one of the reasons that I am involved with our youth group at church. I don't want any of our young girls to feel that they are alone or that they would be ostracized by Christians if they were to be pregnant and unmarried.
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RE: Abortion - 7/30/2007 10:26:25 AM
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howIloveHim
Posts: 62
Joined: 7/17/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Memaw.
I haven't had an abortion so I apologize for butting in here, but my daughter is considering getting one and I don't know what to say to her to convince her it isn't the right decision.
Someone said they wished they could talk to the girl before they chose it, I have this chance and I don't want to blow it, I don't know what to say to her.
Memaw, My heart goes out to you as well as my prayers. The best thing that you can do is pray and let her know that you will be there to help her (a big part of my decsion was that I felt my parents would leave me all alone to do it myself). Looks like the wonderful women here have offered their numbers and e-mails to you, I wil do the same, just PM me if interested.
(((((hugs))))) ((((hugs)))) and more ((((hugs)))) to Roberta. I also thank you for sharing your story. I am always worried to talk about my abortion with Christian women because I do not want to be looked down upon. I am slowly getting over that fear applying to work at the Pregancy Care Center, because all the women that work there are Christians.
< Message edited by howIloveHim -- 7/30/2007 10:35:58 AM >
_____________________________
When someone is yelling at you or angry with you, do not get angry back. Just wish blessings upon them. The reaction is priceless : )
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RE: Abortion - 7/30/2007 2:44:57 PM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 2221
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: howIloveHim
quote:
ORIGINAL: Memaw.
I haven't had an abortion so I apologize for butting in here, but my daughter is considering getting one and I don't know what to say to her to convince her it isn't the right decision.
Someone said they wished they could talk to the girl before they chose it, I have this chance and I don't want to blow it, I don't know what to say to her.
Memaw, My heart goes out to you as well as my prayers. The best thing that you can do is pray and let her know that you will be there to help her (a big part of my decsion was that I felt my parents would leave me all alone to do it myself). Looks like the wonderful women here have offered their numbers and e-mails to you, I wil do the same, just PM me if interested.
(((((hugs))))) ((((hugs)))) and more ((((hugs)))) to Roberta. I also thank you for sharing your story. I am always worried to talk about my abortion with Christian women because I do not want to be looked down upon. I am slowly getting over that fear applying to work at the Pregancy Care Center, because all the women that work there are Christians.
I know what you mean. Christians are known for shooting their wounded. It's hard to talk about. Too many Christians tend to write the sins of others in stone. If God didn't do that, what give us that right?
One out of three women have had an abortion- that includes Christian and non-Christians alike.
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RE: Abortion - 7/30/2007 9:09:04 PM
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Memaw.
Posts: 2730
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
Status: offline
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quote:
Memaw, My heart goes out to you as well as my prayers. The best thing that you can do is pray and let her know that you will be there to help her
Thank you so much.
Roberta,
The lady I spoke to you about came by today, her and several other women in this area have begun a ministry to help other post abortion women.
I asked her if I could post a link to the website and she said that would be wonderful, they have literature and CD's with their testimony through music free for the asking. If you don't mind, I will post the link (which is just to an email then they will send what is requested, women (and men) can email an actual person to talk with).
The ministry is:
CROCUS
(Christ Reaches Out to Comfort Us)
(Statement taken off the back of the CD)
Crocus is a ministry begun by three women whose lives were damaged by abortion....then touched and healed by Gods' unseen hands.
Through these songs we offer the same comfort we've received from our Lord Jesus.
Unseen Hands
She said they have boxes and boxes of these CD's just waiting to be sent to those who would like to have them.
PS. If you don't want the link on here just let me know and I will remove it.
_____________________________
~Kimmie
Courtesy is free. Quote from Jalanda
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RE: Abortion - 7/31/2007 4:19:53 PM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 2221
Status: offline
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Kim- how did things go?
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