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RE: Abortion - 9/7/2007 9:20:28 AM
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Memaw.
Posts: 2598
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
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Roberta,
While I have never had an abortion, the situation with Andrea has led me to many women who have.
I think (from what I gather from talking with those women) it is not "can God forgive me", but "can I forgive myself?"
Show her scripture, pray with her, pray for God to GIVE HER FORGIVENESS TO FORGIVE HERSELF.
And as you know, just be there and let her talk, let her vent, let her cry...sometimes that is all we need, a shoulder.
You are a good friend and you will be able to help her through this.
_____________________________
~Kimmie
Courtesy is free. Quote from Jalanda
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RE: Abortion - 9/7/2007 5:58:38 PM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 2072
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Memaw.
Roberta,
While I have never had an abortion, the situation with Andrea has led me to many women who have.
I think (from what I gather from talking with those women) it is not "can God forgive me", but "can I forgive myself?"
Show her scripture, pray with her, pray for God to GIVE HER FORGIVENESS TO FORGIVE HERSELF.
And as you know, just be there and let her talk, let her vent, let her cry...sometimes that is all we need, a shoulder.
You are a good friend and you will be able to help her through this.
Yes. It's self-forgiveness that she is struggling with. However, not knowing the Lord and not understanding that He is all-loving, she hasn't reached a point yet where she can accept His forgiveness.
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RE: Abortion - 9/7/2007 10:07:36 PM
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Memaw.
Posts: 2598
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
Status: offline
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quote:
Yes. It's self-forgiveness that she is struggling with. However, not knowing the Lord and not understanding that He is all-loving, she hasn't reached a point yet where she can accept His forgiveness.
Ahhh, I see.
This is more of a leading to Christ then.
Through Him she will find forgiveness.
Father,
I ask that You give Roberta the seeds to plant in this womans' spirit. Father, lead her to You, woo her, call her.
We give you all the praise in Jesus name,
amen
_____________________________
~Kimmie
Courtesy is free. Quote from Jalanda
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RE: Abortion - 9/8/2007 11:07:47 PM
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Leslie_JnJs_mom
Posts: 880
Joined: 9/6/2007
From: SW Missouri
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One nice thing our Gov. has done is made missouri one of the toughest states to get an abortion in. First they had to have praticing rights at a local hosp. The doctor for the one clinic we had here was out of St Louis so he didn't work and none of the OB's in Springfield would work in it so it had to shut down. Then the Gov. started making clinics have the same qualifications as hospitals so now Kansas City is the only city in Mo to have a clinic. It is a small dent but at least it gives a young scared pregnant woman a chance to really think if this is what she really wants to do instead of going downtown and just doing it.
_____________________________
<------- Jessica and I had so much fun with grandma!
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RE: Abortion - 9/8/2007 11:11:34 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1678
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LesliemomofJandJ
One nice thing our Gov. has done is made missouri one of the toughest states to get an abortion in. First they had to have praticing rights at a local hosp. The doctor for the one clinic we had here was out of St Louis so he didn't work and none of the OB's in Springfield would work in it so it had to shut down. Then the Gov. started making clinics have the same qualifications as hospitals so now Kansas City is the only city in Mo to have a clinic. It is a small dent but at least it gives a young scared pregnant woman a chance to really think if this is what she really wants to do instead of going downtown and just doing it.
I agree that is great...but churches need to step up to make sure whe isn't still acting in fear, or as in my case, being coerced into it.
It isn't merely enough to make it tough to get an abortion...we need to make it not so tough to NOT have one
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Abortion - 9/9/2007 8:43:00 AM
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Pinksultana
Posts: 54
Joined: 4/13/2005
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Im really glad I found this topic...
My sister told me last year that she had had an abortion. Every day I think about my nephew / neice that i will meet in Heaven. Although I know that abortion is horrible an has many repercussions for the 'mother' I struggle to get rid of the anger i harbour towards my sister for murdering her child. She slept with this guy only once (she fell pregnant when she lost her virginity) and it happened, call me unsympatetic but I feel like if someone feels responsble enough to have sex, they shuld manage the consequences that God deals them....I suppose my perspective is a bit skewed....as when i was 15yo I was raped nd throughout the whole ordeal of getting rhough it, I committed to myself that If i fell pregnant i wouldnt et rid of the baby because it wasnt the babys fault i was pregnant...
I dont want to sound negative and judgmental toward all those who have had abortions though, man that is HUGE to go through, and for whateer reason you felt abortion was the only way...I am a social worker and wok with many women who have encountered this, i do have empathy in the circumstances around feeling so pressured....
...for my sister it was because she was unmarried, daughter of a minister, youth leader....high expectations... and she felt she couldnt handle the reporcussions..which she now has to handle by living with the fact that she had n abortion...
Pink
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RE: Abortion - 9/9/2007 1:19:41 PM
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Leslie_JnJs_mom
Posts: 880
Joined: 9/6/2007
From: SW Missouri
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I hear about pregnancy care centers alot is that run by churches? I know of at least one girl who changed her mind about having an abortion because of the care center.
My mom used to be very involved in right to life until they made it a felony to picket abortion clinics. In fact the day I gave birth to my son she was in jail for trying to council women who were going in for an abortion.
My mom also told me something shocking. She said that more then once she came across church members carting thier teenage daughter off to an abortion clinic so they would not have to tell people at church that their christian daughter got pregnant. I was surprised to say the least.
_____________________________
<------- Jessica and I had so much fun with grandma!
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RE: Abortion - 9/10/2007 9:03:28 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1678
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LesliemomofJandJ
I hear about pregnancy care centers alot is that run by churches? I know of at least one girl who changed her mind about having an abortion because of the care center.
My mom used to be very involved in right to life until they made it a felony to picket abortion clinics. In fact the day I gave birth to my son she was in jail for trying to council women who were going in for an abortion.
My mom also told me something shocking. She said that more then once she came across church members carting thier teenage daughter off to an abortion clinic so they would not have to tell people at church that their christian daughter got pregnant. I was surprised to say the least.
that is the exact reason my mother coerced me into having an abortion...she didn't want people to see her as a 'bad mother' whose daughter got into trouble......the reason I KNOW this is why she did it is because of things she chose to do to cover my other siblings "tracks" when they made choices that were bad. I have a hard time with remember to forgive her too....
just as I have a hard time with people who have attitudes like pinksultana's....she really has no idea why her sister did what she did.....it is hard to explain..and for all she knows..there was pressure being put on her behind the scenes....
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Abortion - 9/10/2007 9:25:45 PM
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Kath
Posts: 16554
Joined: 2/28/2005
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quote:
.I am a social worker and wok with many women who have encountered this, i do have empathy in the circumstances around feeling so pressured....
so if you have so much empathy for strangers, why can't you do the same for your own sister?
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RE: Abortion - 9/11/2007 12:14:41 AM
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clag4christ
Posts: 2860
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: We just moved to the big state of Texas!
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quote:
so if you have so much empathy for strangers, why can't you do the same for your own sister?
Probably for the same reasons that I cannot have empathy for my mother who murdered my brother or sister. My mother sinned (cheated on my father) and got pg, after having had me and my sister, and chose to try and hide her fornication from my dad and the rest of our family, through murder.
If a woman is willing to have unprotected sex that woman should be willing to face the possible consequences of her actions, which include pregnancy, imo. It's just different when it's a family member, somehow.
Just an assumption on my part, but pink could also be angry at her sister for not coming to her sooner. She's her sister, pink would have offered help in everyway to ensure the life of that little baby, and her sister chose not to come to her for help. That hurts...
_____________________________
 Proud Member of the Moo Club
<-----My fabulous Joel & me in Scotland
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RE: Abortion - 9/11/2007 7:00:57 AM
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Pinksultana
Posts: 54
Joined: 4/13/2005
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I have a lot of empathy for my sister. i am the only one i the world who knows about her abortion, and I have not done anything but love her through it. I understand this is an emotive topic....I just thought I could tell someone via this topic of the hardships for me in truth around the abortion, rather than walking on eggshells??. I cant imagine what my sister had to go through and the fact that she had noone to help even on the day it was done makes me so sad...But at the same time I dont think I could have provided her support on the day to do the abortion....but I will always be there for her now, and I will always look forward to meeting my Neice or Nephew, and I will always struggle with what she as done too.
Im a social worker but im also human.
clag4christ - your absolutley right in your assmptions....sounds like we sort of are on the same wavelength about our experiences.
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RE: Abortion - 9/11/2007 8:52:40 AM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 2072
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kath
quote:
.I am a social worker and wok with many women who have encountered this, i do have empathy in the circumstances around feeling so pressured....
so if you have so much empathy for strangers, why can't you do the same for your own sister?
I suspect that because her sister's abortion is a lot closer to home for her. My guess would be that deep down inside she feels that she should've done something. Also, she has lost a family member.
Also, there is a difference between helping someone deal with an issue and having to deal with it yourself.
Pink- you do have to remember that you lost a neice or a nephew, but your sister lost a child. The fact that it was her own choice makes it even harder.
quote:
Clag:
Probably for the same reasons that I cannot have empathy for my mother who murdered my brother or sister. My mother sinned (cheated on my father) and got pg, after having had me and my sister, and chose to try and hide her fornication from my dad and the rest of our family, through murder.
Now that you know about it, it's normal to feel anger, but it's also important to forgive and to pray for her. You lost a sibling and she lost a child.
If I remember correctly, she sees nothing wrong with what she did? Eventually she may come around to seeing what she did was murder. When/if she faces the fact that she murdered her own child, she will need help from those who love her to deal with it. It's important that you work through your anger on the issue so that you can be there to help her when she needs it.
quote:
Pink:
I'm a social worker but I'm also human.
I would suggest that anyone (mother, father, aunt, uncle, siblings, grandparents, etc.) touched by abortion seek some sort of guidance to work through the issue. That can come from a pastor, CPC, special Bible studies, etc.
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RE: Abortion - 9/11/2007 9:16:31 AM
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Memaw.
Posts: 2598
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
Status: offline
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Going through this situation with my daughter, the HS has shown me some things.
While the abortion of my grandchild was horrible, the worst thing was my daughter felt it was necessary.
I hurt so much for my daughter knowing she felt this was the only solution.
I have never been in that place to go through an with an abortion because that is "the answer".
There is so much pain involved with making that decision and I won't add to that pain by pointing a finger or withholding love and forgiveness.
_____________________________
~Kimmie
Courtesy is free. Quote from Jalanda
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RE: Abortion - 9/11/2007 9:50:11 AM
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Kath
Posts: 16554
Joined: 2/28/2005
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quote:
.I just thought I could tell someone via this topic of the hardships for me in truth around the abortion, rather than walking on eggshells??
I was merely asking a question.
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RE: Abortion - 9/11/2007 3:55:53 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1678
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Pinksultana
I have a lot of empathy for my sister. i am the only one i the world who knows about her abortion, and I have not done anything but love her through it. I understand this is an emotive topic....I just thought I could tell someone via this topic of the hardships for me in truth around the abortion, rather than walking on eggshells??. I cant imagine what my sister had to go through and the fact that she had noone to help even on the day it was done makes me so sad...But at the same time I dont think I could have provided her support on the day to do the abortion....but I will always be there for her now, and I will always look forward to meeting my Neice or Nephew, and I will always struggle with what she as done too.
Im a social worker but im also human.
clag4christ - your absolutley right in your assmptions....sounds like we sort of are on the same wavelength about our experiences.
We didn't mean to imply you could't share...but I have to point out a few things that this post reveals...your sister went through this alone....
why did she feel she had to? Why didn't she feel she could come to family/friends/pastor, etc?
I don't think you should have provided her support to do the abortion if that had been offerred to you...but perhaps if she had felt you would understand the situation she found herself in (which you probably WOULD have, just weren't given the chance), she would not have felt the need to keep it all secret.
I just know...having been in a situation where those I trusted to help me make decisions coerced decisions on me that I find repulsive...she may have felt "compelled" to make the decision based on advice given by others whom she trusted.....I wish she would have trusted you.
< Message edited by W.O.F. -- 9/11/2007 4:59:02 PM >
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Abortion - 9/12/2007 8:19:01 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1678
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
Status: offline
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I also wanted to share that I believe those of you who have been touched by abortion "secondhand" DO have a right to the hurt you feel about it..and the anger too.
Just be sure that you do not let it evolve into hate.....because according to Scripture....hating is the same as murder.......
and that lowers us all down to the level of murderers....whether it be by having had an abortion, or by hating someone for doing so.
Being unrepentant is a hard thing to face in someone else....it is even harder to face the fact that it is NOT our job to make them BE repentant...but to love them into being open to the ONE who can lead them to repentance.
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Abortion - 9/12/2007 10:16:59 PM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 2072
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quote:
ORIGINAL: W.O.F.
I also wanted to share that I believe those of you who have been touched by abortion "secondhand" DO have a right to the hurt you feel about it..and the anger too.
Just be sure that you do not let it evolve into hate.....because according to Scripture....hating is the same as murder.......
and that lowers us all down to the level of murderers....whether it be by having had an abortion, or by hating someone for doing so.
Being unrepentant is a hard thing to face in someone else....it is even harder to face the fact that it is NOT our job to make them BE repentant...but to love them into being open to the ONE who can lead them to repentance.
Nicely worded!
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RE: Abortion - 9/17/2007 5:20:28 PM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 2072
Status: offline
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I have a friend who is 45. She has a set of triplets that she wasn't supposed to be able to get pg. with. They are 4 years old. She just found out that she is pg again. Her drs. are trying to talk her into an abortion because she has a high chance of miscarriage and birth defects. As far as her own health, she's probably healthier than most 30 year old women.
Her husband says that he'll love her and support whatever decision she makes.
She is planning on keeping the baby and is looking for a good dr. who will support her.
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RE: Abortion - 9/21/2007 10:50:39 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1678
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
Status: offline
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we will be praying for her...and Kudos for her to choose life for her baby
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Abortion - 9/24/2007 8:32:44 AM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 2072
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Hischild1994
I have a friend who is 45. She has a set of triplets that she wasn't supposed to be able to get pg. with. They are 4 years old. She just found out that she is pg again. Her drs. are trying to talk her into an abortion because she has a high chance of miscarriage and birth defects. As far as her own health, she's probably healthier than most 30 year old women.
Her husband says that he'll love her and support whatever decision she makes.
She is planning on keeping the baby and is looking for a good dr. who will support her.
She's doing good, but stilll looking for a ob/gyn who will support her choice to give birth.
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RE: Abortion - 10/8/2007 3:29:23 PM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 6059
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dramagirl4God
my mother had an abortion before I was born, the affects of which have completely devastated her, complicating some other mental health issues. She's doing the Forgiven and Set Free bible study with a private counselor who seems to really click with her right now. Actually she starts the first session today. I know things are going to get worse with her before she can start to heal, but I really think this could be the final block to complete healing in her, so I'm praying praying praying.
How is your mom doing with her healing now?
_____________________________
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RE: Abortion - 11/2/2007 10:38:11 PM
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Hischild1994
Posts: 2072
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Hischild1994
quote:
ORIGINAL: Hischild1994
I have a friend who is 45. She has a set of triplets that she wasn't supposed to be able to get pg. with. They are 4 years old. She just found out that she is pg again. Her drs. are trying to talk her into an abortion because she has a high chance of miscarriage and birth defects. As far as her own health, she's probably healthier than most 30 year old women.
Her husband says that he'll love her and support whatever decision she makes.
She is planning on keeping the baby and is looking for a good dr. who will support her.
She's doing good, but stilll looking for a ob/gyn who will support her choice to give birth.
Just wanted to let you all know that my friend had a miscarriage this week. Please pray for her.
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RE: Abortion - 11/2/2007 11:30:04 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1678
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
Status: offline
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will be praying for her HisChild. I am very sad for her.
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Abortion - 11/3/2007 3:46:10 AM
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Lianna
Posts: 201
Joined: 5/28/2005
From: Edmonton, Canada
Status: offline
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Reading these posts, makes my heart go out to all of you.
I myself have never had an abortion, but this summer I was affected by someone who has. I was doing my clinical intership for school and was placed as a holistic counsellor in a massage and counselling clinic. This women came in off the street and asked if there was any Christian counsellors that worked for free or low rates. Well at the clinic there was only two christians me and a part-time massage therapist. So the receptionist booked an appointment with me. I talk to the lady who was about 5 months pregnant and in her late thirties. She told me that she had 9 abortions, 4 miscarrages, 3 still births and 2 live babies which she had taken away from her by social services. And she didn't care about a single one. So I asked about the baby she was carrying, what were here plans for this one. And she looks at me and says "can you please recomend a herb that will make me go in to labour". I told her that I could not and would not do that because it went against my ethics. I then ask her why she specifically asked for a christian counsellor. She responsed by saying that she felt guilty and wanted help not to feel guilty. I ask what she felt guitly about she said I don't know, I have never done anything wrong. At this point, my heart broke and I decided to refer her to someone else. For the rest of the day I cried for each of those children.
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