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RE: Abortion - 11/3/2007 9:08:05 AM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1615
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
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Lianna,
I can't imagine thinking that abortion wasn't wrong...and my heart breaks for this woman because she has so shut herself up that she doesn't even know what she is feeling anymore. I will be praying for her.
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Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Abortion - 11/3/2007 5:15:32 PM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 6313
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From: CA
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Lianna- I'm thankful that this woman had you to reach out to. That must have been very hard for you.
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RE: Abortion - 11/15/2007 7:23:58 PM
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imforlife
Posts: 37
Joined: 7/24/2006
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One thing we, as Christians, have to remember is that most of the time, (not always) that these s/women are not happily going into an abortion clinic. They truly do feel that it is their only alternative.
Being post-abortive myself, I cannot tell you the pain and grief that has surrounded my life from this "choice". It was the darkest decision of my life and I wish more than anything that I could take it back.
I would like to encourage you to pray about supporting your local crisis pregnancy center. If your church doesn't help out financially, then perhaps you could be the person to make that happen. CPCs need money to keep running and not every church is willing to stand up and help out. When you are out at the store, pick up a package of diapers or other baby supplies and take them to your local cpc. Volunteer your time if you feel the Lord would have you to. But give. Most cpcs run completely on donations. Every little bit helps and makes a difference.
Make a gift in honor or memory of someone this Christmas at your crisis pregnancy center. Its a gift that can help save a life. Think about it.
Thanks
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Abortion is forever....get the facts first.
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RE: Abortion - 11/17/2007 7:58:20 AM
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bootsNspurs_mod
Posts: 820
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From: Wisconsin, but currently in the desert!
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My mom had two abortions... one sibling would have been about 3 years older than me and was with my mom and dad.... the other sibling was my mom's (obviously) but was quite a bit earlier and was with a different man.
quote:
ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna
I had one when I was 16. God has done an amazing healing in me, though I think there will always be a scar there.
Question for those of you who are adults whose moms had abortions...how old were you when you found out? How did it affect your relationship? This is something I have thought of with my own kids. I know the time has not come for me to share this with them, and I'm not sure how I'll deal with it when it does.
Donna... my mom told me at age 14 that she had had 2 miscarriages... that broke my heart... it also scared me. I found out not long after that that one of those 'miscarriages' was an abortion. Then, I was 18, i believe, before I found out that they were both abortions. That really messed with me... I wondered how she could have a second one after having a first one. My mom has now gone through a post-abortion Bible study, that she did when i was 18 or 19... that was when i found out about the second one. It did bother me that she had had them... and I was pretty angry for a while because I had always wanted an older brother or sister. I couldn't believe she had decided to kill my sibling. I did forgive her though, and she has gone through a lot of healing as well. She had to struggle to forgive herself. I am excited that I have 2 siblings to meet when I get to heaven. We have healed past this and we are now closer because that is one less secret between us.
One thing I am struggling with... sort of on topic... sort of maybe not? is when they did the memorial service for the babies, as the last thing for their Bible study... my mom asked me to go. Something had happened to me very early that morning, and due to working, I was only just able to talk with someone about it (it was very upsetting to me) that night. The talking ran a bit late and I missed about half of the memorial service. I know it was really important to my mom... and I'm sad that I missed it and I am having a hard time forgiving myself for it... not only that, but one of the babies was my sister or brother.
Also.. after reading this thread... it makes me wonder. My mom told me that she knew there had to be a God when she held me in her arms for the first time. I wonder if that then multiplied her guilt from her two previous abortions and maybe played into part of the reason she treated me not so well as a child?
_____________________________
That buggy won't move until you put the donkey in the front!
If Jesus isn't first in your life, it's kind of like putting the donkey behind your buggy. It just don't work quite right...
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RE: Abortion - 11/17/2007 8:05:17 AM
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Memaw.
Posts: 2598
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
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quote:
I am having a hard time forgiving myself for it... not only that, but one of the babies was my sister or brother.
(((((taxi)))))
We are so hard on ourselves, much harder than we should be at times.
There are times when we feel the only thing we can do is to keep the guilt alive because in our human thinking if we let that go, then we have "forgotten" those who were lost.
Does that make sense?
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Life is uncertain...eat dessert first!
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RE: Abortion - 11/17/2007 8:11:37 AM
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bootsNspurs_mod
Posts: 820
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From: Wisconsin, but currently in the desert!
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quote:
There are times when we feel the only thing we can do is to keep the guilt alive because in our human thinking if we let that go, then we have "forgotten" those who were lost.
Ty.... and yes... it does make sense. because it really wasn't that it wasn't a priority for me - because it was.... i just... i didn't know how to deal with that... and then the incident of the early morning hours of that day threw me into much more of a turmoil. i didn't "forget" them... and I never will... tho I don't always think about my siblings because they are safe with God now... and because it seems like it was during a different lifetime for my mom... and before my lifetime for sure. I do mourn for them though.
_____________________________
That buggy won't move until you put the donkey in the front!
If Jesus isn't first in your life, it's kind of like putting the donkey behind your buggy. It just don't work quite right...
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RE: Abortion - 11/17/2007 1:02:50 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10319
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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quote:
One thing I am struggling with... sort of on topic... sort of maybe not? is when they did the memorial service for the babies, as the last thing for their Bible study... my mom asked me to go. Something had happened to me very early that morning, and due to working, I was only just able to talk with someone about it (it was very upsetting to me) that night. The talking ran a bit late and I missed about half of the memorial service. I know it was really important to my mom... and I'm sad that I missed it and I am having a hard time forgiving myself for it... not only that, but one of the babies was my sister or brother.
I'd say both of the babies were your siblings, because if they had been born, they would have been raised as such even if not 100% biological siblings.
I think what is most important now is that your relationship with your mom is reconciled. Don't hold on to guilt over missing half of the service. You tried to be there, and I hope she knows that. Have you talked to your mom about this? Is so, what did she have to say about it?
quote:
Also.. after reading this thread... it makes me wonder. My mom told me that she knew there had to be a God when she held me in her arms for the first time. I wonder if that then multiplied her guilt from her two previous abortions and maybe played into part of the reason she treated me not so well as a child?
Could be, especially if she didn't deal with it until you were almost grown. I know for me, seeing my kids grow up, especially my oldest, is hard sometimes because it is a very real reminder of what I did and what I have missed out on with my real oldest. I even have a hard time saying I have four kids, because in my heart, I have seven (1 abortion, 2 miscarriages).
Knowing that you caused the pain you are experiencing can be crippling. It can also make you feel you don't deserve any good thing, especially future children.
How is your mom now? Do you pray for her?
_____________________________
I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
~Psalm 57:9-10~
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RE: Abortion - 11/17/2007 6:52:50 PM
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bootsNspurs_mod
Posts: 820
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From: Wisconsin, but currently in the desert!
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quote:
I think what is most important now is that your relationship with your mom is reconciled. Don't hold on to guilt over missing half of the service. You tried to be there, and I hope she knows that. Have you talked to your mom about this? Is so, what did she have to say about it?
Yes, I have. And she knows what happened. She was hurt, but she does understand. I didn't tell her though until a few days after, so it was hard for her at first.
My mom is doing much better now. She had said that she would like to go through the class again as she focused on one baby the first time and would like to focus on the other baby next time. Yes, I do pray for her. She's gone through a lot, and has come a very long way. It's really awesome to see God moving.
_____________________________
That buggy won't move until you put the donkey in the front!
If Jesus isn't first in your life, it's kind of like putting the donkey behind your buggy. It just don't work quite right...
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RE: Abortion - 11/18/2007 10:58:16 PM
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Memaw.
Posts: 2598
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
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Ladies, I have reopened the thread I had in parenting due to some things going on with my daughter....could I ask for some advice and help from you all in that thread?
_____________________________
Life is uncertain...eat dessert first!
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RE: Abortion - 11/19/2007 8:20:53 AM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 6313
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
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I'll go check it out Kimmie.
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RE: Abortion - 2/24/2008 6:35:22 AM
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Hislittleone
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Joined: 7/13/2007
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For the last 6 months or so I have been dealing with a lot of anger and grief over the abortion I had as a teen. I posted about it here (in this thread) quite a while back. I am now dealing with a lot of anger towards my parents for the role that they played in it. Talking to them and being in the same room with them is very difficult. I just kind of zone out if I can or try to paste on a smile and put on the happy act. They won't admit that what they did was wrong even though they are Christians. They made a career out of their faith for Pete's sake. It has always just seemed so hypocritical. This is something that is hardly ever talked about. I have NEVER talked to my dad about it. I've broached the subject with my mom several times over the years but nothing good comes of it. This summer will be the 16th anniversary of the abortion. I would have a 16 yr. old son or daughter. I don't know how to deal with this anger. I would love to have healing in my relationship with my parents. I just don't know what to do. Any advice?
ETA: Also, is this something that I should eventually share with my children or should it remain a secret?
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RE: Abortion - 2/24/2008 11:28:15 AM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 6313
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From: CA
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Hislittleone- talk to a pastor or someone at a CPC for counseling. Your parents may or may not ever come around to dealing with it, but you need too. As far as sharing it with your children, that depends on the child.
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RE: Abortion - 2/25/2008 10:18:05 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1615
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Hislittleone
For the last 6 months or so I have been dealing with a lot of anger and grief over the abortion I had as a teen. I posted about it here (in this thread) quite a while back. I am now dealing with a lot of anger towards my parents for the role that they played in it. Talking to them and being in the same room with them is very difficult. I just kind of zone out if I can or try to paste on a smile and put on the happy act. They won't admit that what they did was wrong even though they are Christians. They made a career out of their faith for Pete's sake. It has always just seemed so hypocritical. This is something that is hardly ever talked about. I have NEVER talked to my dad about it. I've broached the subject with my mom several times over the years but nothing good comes of it. This summer will be the 16th anniversary of the abortion. I would have a 16 yr. old son or daughter. I don't know how to deal with this anger. I would love to have healing in my relationship with my parents. I just don't know what to do. Any advice?
ETA: Also, is this something that I should eventually share with my children or should it remain a secret?
I second getting some counseling of some kind...and as for the parental thing...I still deal with that. My mother is the one who pushed me into the decision because she didn't want people to think ill of her and my dad. One thing I have had to do is just pray. I know it sounds simple...but it works. I pray for God to not allow me to commit the sin of murder again...I killed my baby, but by allowing anger and hate to creep into my heart, I would, by Biblical standards, be committing it again.
You said you have tried to broach the subject with your mom and nothing good comes of it...so...don't broach it with her anymore. Instead...write a letter to her and your dad telling them everything you would like to say and telling them what you would like to hear from them. Then seal it, and put it in a safe place with your will or other important documents that would only be opened upon your death (make sure their names are on the outside with the criteria as to when it should be opened). It will help you work through your feelings in a way that will bring healing, and allows for there to be some resolution. Pray for God to allow you see your parents through His eyes....and then every time you feel the anger, etc rise up..pray for them... Pray for them to see the pain they caused, and for them to be healed from their own pain...which whether they admit it or not...they have.
As for informing children....I am taking the only if needed. We address the issue from all the other standpoints, and I pray for God to give me the wisdom to know when and or if I need to tell.
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Abortion - 4/1/2008 3:14:07 PM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 6313
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
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I just recently found out that my brother's ex-wife aborted their child and that his current wife had an abortion long before she met my brother.
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RE: Abortion - 4/1/2008 6:21:23 PM
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clag4christ
Posts: 2896
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: We just moved to the big state of Texas!
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DenimDiva
I just recently found out that my brother's ex-wife aborted their child and that his current wife had an abortion long before she met my brother.
I'm so sorry...
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<-----My fabulous Joel & me in Scotland
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RE: Abortion - 4/3/2008 2:21:56 AM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 6313
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
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Yes, I had a good long cry after we got off the phone.
My sil said that she and my brother one night (when she was pg with their oldest) they had a memorial service for the babies they had aborted. It was just the two of them.
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RE: Abortion - 6/17/2008 11:17:23 PM
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jsussves
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Joined: 6/17/2008
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Hi everyone. I am new on here and this is the first forum I have come to and I will have to say that some of what was said sickens me. I too have had an abortion. I struggle with it everyday of my life. Not a day goes by that I don't think about what it would have been like to hold that little baby in my arms. My boyfriend at the time push the issue with me getting an abortion. I was very much pro life. He even knew this. Things were happening in my life that I didn't understand. I made wrong decision and I have regretted them. I murdered my baby. His or her blood was on my hands. And I have to live with that the rest of my life. Until I go home to meet my Savior. And when that happens I will have a son or daughter waiting on me. I pray for all women who are struggling with having an abortion. It is very hard and guys don't really understand what we go through. I pray that God will give those women who are thinking about it strength to say no.
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RE: Abortion - 6/17/2008 11:31:01 PM
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jsussves
Posts: 8
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Hi Denim Diva. Yes, we are married. We have been married for 6 yrs now and his whole perspective on abortion has changed and his out look on life as well. It was about February of last year that he really turned his life over to Jesus. I love my husband, but he just doesn't understand how I can still be grieving. I had my abortion 7 years ago. I was about 7 weeks along.
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RE: Abortion - 6/17/2008 11:45:01 PM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 6313
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
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I think it can be hard for some men to understand what we are going through. Then again, I think there are a lot of men suffering in silence over their deceased child.
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RE: Abortion - 6/17/2008 11:59:36 PM
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jsussves
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I do agree. But he is a dad now and I know he wouldn't trade it for the world.
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RE: Abortion - 7/15/2008 8:28:38 PM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 6313
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
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Ladies, can I have some prayer please. I'm coming up real soon on the 17th anniversary and it's really hitting me hard this year.
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RE: Abortion - 7/16/2008 4:04:39 AM
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Hislittleone
Posts: 630
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Praying for you (((((DenimDiva))))).
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RE: Abortion - 7/16/2008 9:03:50 PM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 6313
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
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Thank you.
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