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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 6/12/2006 10:35:01 AM
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Ndebted2GOD
Posts: 48
Joined: 5/11/2005
From: Plain O, Texas
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quote:
ORIGINAL: afton
Masturbation lowers the risk of prostate cancer
A research team led by Professor Graham Giles, Director of the Cancer Council's Cancer Epidemiology Centre, has found that there is evidence that the more frequently men ejaculate between the ages of 20 and 50, the less likely they are to develop prostate cancer.
The researched showed that the protective effect of ejaculation is greatest when men in their twenties ejaculated on average seven or more times a week. This group were one-third less likely to develop aggressive prostate cancer when compared with men who ejaculated less than three times a week at this age.
First, let's assume for a minute that you're research is accurate. It does not say or prove that "masturbation" is good or acceptable or that it lowers the risk of prostate cancer. What this study would prove is that "ejaculation" lowers the risk of prostate cancer. Ejaculation is not solely linked to masturbation. You can ejaculate by having sexual intercourse, masturbation or nocturnal emission. If I've left any other methods out, please forgive me.
With this in mind, you must search the scriptures and your own personal conscience to determine whether or not self-sex is a sin. I've never been one to say that masturbation is always a sin. The lust involved with "most" masturbation is the sin. However, I will also caution anyone who masturbates to look at where this activity leads. If it leads you deeper into sin then you should abstain and allow God's creative process to keep your prostate healthy.
_____________________________
I have been crucified with Christ, and I live; yet no longer I, but Christ lives in me. And that life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith toward the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself on my behalf. Gal. 2:20
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 6/15/2006 7:48:22 PM
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LivingForChrist07
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I just have one question. How does LUSTLESS masturbation count as lusting or sinning? First off, my wet dreams are sometimes lustful, but when I masturbate I DO NOT lust. How is this possible? Well, I'm still a pretty young lad, I do not look at porn, do not lust after other girls, but for a period of time I really really (I can not stress how bad it gets when I need to release sperm, my head hurts, I'm a mess) need to release sperm. I mean, I'll pray read my Bible, and I'll still have these urges. It's insane, and lust less masturbation takes care of this. How often is this? Sometimes over a month, sometimes under. For the guys who say we’re missing a “mark,” there is no mark that states masturbation is a sin. Really, it does not involve sin (my case), and lasts a lot less than a minute.
_____________________________
"Our philosophical commitment to materialism and reductionism is true, but I would prefer to characterize it as philosophical commitment to a real explanation as opposed to a complete lack of explanation which is what you espouse."
-Richard Dawk
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[Deleted] - 6/15/2006 11:37:01 PM
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 6/16/2006 12:44:12 AM
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LivingForChrist07
Posts: 124
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhatLoveIs
Here are some things that you can do further study on:
1.) Self gratification & masturbation (selfgratification = sin)
This can apply to eating a good meal, or having fun.
quote:
2.) Selfishness & masturabtion (selfishness = sin)
What am i being selfish about? I'm not married nor do I have a g/f. This doesn't apply to me.
quote:
3.) Lifestyle of Addiction & masturbation (addiction = sin)
I do not do this daily, or even weekly. This happens when I have uncontrolabel urge to release sperm. I'll try to restrain for a few days, but then it becomes unbearable. This is not an addiction.
quote:
I think the only person that can persuade you is yourself. Prove your veiw wrong for yourself, and you'll see why. The question is - are you willing to prove your own point of view wrong.
I am truly searching for answers. I am always ready to prove myself wrong. There is no Biblical argument against lust less masturbation. I have had a view that it's a horrible sin, but my view has shifted to it being up to the individual and his relationship with Christ. I don't get it, my wet dreams sometimes have sexual content, pretty graphic may I add, while masturbation involves zero lust and it is used for the same function, and my wet dreams are OK while masturbation is horriblely wrong!!!
< Message edited by LivingForChrist07 -- 6/16/2006 12:46:35 AM >
_____________________________
"Our philosophical commitment to materialism and reductionism is true, but I would prefer to characterize it as philosophical commitment to a real explanation as opposed to a complete lack of explanation which is what you espouse."
-Richard Dawk
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[Deleted] - 6/16/2006 2:38:58 AM
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 6/16/2006 12:53:42 PM
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DaveW
Posts: 3829
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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Sorry I disagree on your definition of sin.
Sin is ANYTHING that misses or falls short of God's glory. The words (both Hebrew and Greek) were archery terms meaning to miss the target. So if you try and fall short, that is neither ommission or commission, but it is still sin.
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[Deleted] - 6/16/2006 6:11:30 PM
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 6/19/2006 6:43:48 AM
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DaveW
Posts: 3829
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhatLoveIs
We can't be responcible for the state of sin. God doesn't judge us for being imperfect in an imperfect world.
But, God does hold us accountable for our choices, thoughts, and actions that we choose to commit.
........
Without choice, you can't commit sin. Comitting sin must be an action of the Free will. Without the ability to choose, you are not responcible for what happens in the world or in your body.
That's the difference between living in a world that's in a state of sin, and actually commiting sin yourself: your choice. I would submit to you that you have an incorrect definition of sin. What you describe is willful disobedience, or transgression. The word Sin, and the Hebrew and Greek words translated sin are all archery terms that mean to miss the target. Paul says we all sin and fall short of God's glory. We aim at the target but miss. We fall short.
Let me give you a new definition of sin: anything and everything that is other than God's ultimate glory and will.
_____________________________
Avatar is Saphira 5 months and Louvena at 23 months!
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 6/19/2006 2:46:12 PM
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DustBuster
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Just wanted to update people on where I'm at. I haven't done Setting Captives Free for a couple months, but I just jumped back onto Day 39 today. I've been P&M free since February 2006.
LivingforChrist07, your body is designed to continue functioning normally without masterbation, but once you've been in the habit for a long time, it takes awhile for you to get physically and mentally re-adjusted. The symptoms you talk about are not unusual for the first couple days or even weeks, but after a month or two, things drop off drastically. However, you'll never be able to experience the other side until you make the commitment to a long-term change in LIFESTYLE. If you target p&m by itself, you're more likely to fail than if you work seeing how things affect your relationship with God.
Even if you don't believe that it is sin, you have nothing to lose by trying it for a couple months. Give yourself the opportunity to have perspective on what it feels like to live without it for a long period of time before making that decision. You can't fully understand what it feels like to be away from it until you are actually there, so any decisions you make now, would be based on incomplete information.
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 6/19/2006 9:28:25 PM
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LivingForChrist07
Posts: 124
Joined: 4/16/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DustBuster
LivingforChrist07, your body is designed to continue functioning normally without masterbation, but once you've been in the habit for a long time, it takes awhile for you to get physically and mentally re-adjusted. The symptoms you talk about are not unusual for the first couple days or even weeks, but after a month or two, things drop off drastically. However, you'll never be able to experience the other side until you make the commitment to a long-term change in LIFESTYLE. If you target p&m by itself, you're more likely to fail than if you work seeing how things affect your relationship with God.
I've tried 1,2 and even went on for 5 months and I still had the feelings of need to release. Again, my wet dreams are much more sexual than my lustless masturbation is.
_____________________________
"Our philosophical commitment to materialism and reductionism is true, but I would prefer to characterize it as philosophical commitment to a real explanation as opposed to a complete lack of explanation which is what you espouse."
-Richard Dawk
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 6/20/2006 4:20:21 PM
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DustBuster
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I wouldn't worry about the dreams. You're only accountable for the stuff that happens while you are awake and in control of your body. Have you spent any time talking with a pastor or Christian counselor?
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 6/23/2006 4:28:11 PM
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Robert_G
Posts: 203
Joined: 1/8/2006
From: British Columbia, Canada
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I'm a man...may as well give my opinion.
I'm married..but I do masterbait once in a blue moon.
Never to porn, and not to other women.
Usually, there is a situation like my wife being on a trip for a few days, or a yeast infection, or whatever...nonetheless, she is out of commission for week or so.
Anyways...I'll be doing something around the house..or whatever, and all of a sudden, the days of needing to 'release' just build up all at once. I get aggitated really bad.
So I just head er upstairs, do it quickly and go back to what I was doing. A major sense of relief.
I don't think of other women while I'm doing it. I do occasionaly think of my wife, but that's sinnless.
Masterbation can be both sinful and nonsinful, depending on what you're masterbaiting to.
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 6/27/2006 2:01:02 PM
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creyes33
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Joined: 6/27/2006
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You Christians scare me. So much disagreement. So much ignorance and so much misunderstanding between you. I don't know... I found this site on google searching for answers. Whatever
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[Deleted] - 6/27/2006 3:04:29 PM
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 7/8/2006 10:00:55 PM
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Pillarfan
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I fell today, a few times this week actualy...It dose get verry hard.
I pray you guys will win your fights too as I would much apreciate contunal prayer in this area too.
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[Deleted] - 7/13/2006 8:48:01 PM
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 7/17/2006 3:01:43 AM
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Pillarfan
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And unfortunatly im doing no better then last time I posted, im doing about as bad, which is really bad still.
And Im falling to it. It sucks beacuse I am strong in my faith and everything but this one area that Im really sucking with.
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 7/19/2006 9:45:12 AM
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DustBuster
Posts: 21
Joined: 10/21/2005
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Another Update:
I've been doing the SettingCaptivesFree.com program since February. It's only supposed to be 60 days long, but I keep missing days. Well, I guess as long as I keep coming back is what's the most important.
Anyways, I've got 5 days left in the program, and after that, I want to get started in the mentorship program. I've been involved with p&m for ten years, more than 1/3 of my life. This program has been the only thing that worked for me, because it's the only time I ever truly gave it up to God. There isn't any person in here who can't let this go through God's grace.
In another week, I'll be through this, and I'm going to keep moving forward into the mentorship program, so that I can simultaneously keep myself in check and pass the blessings I've received onto others.
Please have faith and courage. I have been where you all have been. You are not alone.
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 7/23/2006 5:09:01 AM
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Anst
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Okay to add my two cents worth to this ongoing debate over masturbation.
1. To tell you the truth I never masturbated during my teenage years and into my adult years until a few years ago actually when I was 27! It's kind of odd to say that as I know of friends who did masturbate at high school and still do, but I guess I never really focused on the orgasm itself (through nocturnal emissions) just the unclean, smelly, mess I had to wake up to.
2. Now after I came across it via accident one day I have found it since difficult to stop. The longest I've been without in the past 3 years now is 7 months. The reason it flared up again was because I wanted to get my stomach abs into shape and whilst doing situps and push ups I got aroused and ultimately this led to masturbation. I don't know if other guys face this problem too, but I know now that I have to refrain from doing sit ups especially or else the strain it puts on my lower abs will lead to orgasm. I don’t know if such circumstances would be considered a sin to God or not seeing that we all have our physical idiosyncrasies and I’m sure there may be some that wouldn’t care about the orgasm (they’d probably think it was a “bonus”) and would continue the sit ups because a six or nine pack is all they want and nothing will stand in their way.
3. Knowing all of this now I am less judgemental and more understanding of other guys like my cousins who I know have masturbated since their teenage years. I now know how challenging it is to overcome like any addiction--“the spirit is indeed willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 24:41). Therefore, I would hesitate to condemn someone for masturbating since I do not believe that the Bible is as explicit as it could be via providing examples of autosexuality or masturbation as a sin. For instance, it is clear-cut about incest, bigamy, adultery, bestiality, sodomy, prostitution as being immoral and sin. So why is there no clear and specific commandment in the Pentateuch that condemns masturbation?
4. Having said that however I do believe it is sinful for the following personal and scriptural reasons:
a. In the Bible sex was reserved for marriage alone between a husband and wife (Genesis 2:24-25). Thus any kind of sex outside of marriage is immoral and perversion--it is a misuse and abuse of sex, how God ordained it anyway (Genesis 10:5-9).
b. In the Old and New Testaments lust is condemned throughout as sin and this includes sexual lust, which in my opinion includes masturbation (Exodus 20:17; 2 Samuel 11:2-4; Romans 6:12; 7:7; 13:14; Galatians 5:16; 2 Timothy 2:22; James 1:14-15; 1 Peter 2:11; 1 John 2:16). Lust is also associated with idolatry (Colossians 3:5) and according to my understanding idolatry is akin to having something that takes your attention away from the true God (eg materials, people, attitudes, addictions, etc). Masturbation can turn into an idol as it turns our focus from God to sex, our selfish selves and our own gratification.
c. The only scriptural references that I know of that have ever been used concerning masturbation are Leviticus 15:16-18 and Deuteronomy 23:10-11. However, in my humble opinion the former passage would denote ejaculation via sexual intercourse while the latter explicitly refers to nocturnal emissions. Admittedly there are some that divide verses 16-18 into two separate categories--masturbation (verses 16-17) and sexual intercourse (verse 18). Either way the result is “uncleanness”, which is spoken against (Romans 1:24; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 4:19; 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:7; 2 Peter 2:10).
d. An integral passage of scripture that has converted me to the immorality of masturbation is Ezekiel 16:17, which suggests that the ancient Israelites were like modern Americans and had a budding pornographic industry that led to masturbation. In the passage women are condemned for committing “whoredom” with “images of men”--dildoes no doubt! So if female masturbation is akin to prostitution or harlotry or whoredom to God and condemned then no doubt so would male masturbation too--sex outside of marriage.
e. The various side effects to me are also unpleasant (physical, emotional, spiritual) most of all the guilty conscience that is motivation for me to give it up once and for all. I keep recalling the many times that I masturbated and then felt extremely sorry that I “fell” as the little pleasure was not worth the enormously burdensome guilt that ensued and so I would pray again in repentance--I don’t want to have to ask God’s forgiveness again and again and again, I want a clear conscience (Acts 24:16)--hence as Christ told the woman caught in adultery I try to keep in mind “go, and sin no more” (John 8:11). Other side effects are in my own experience the fatigue, which to me can lead to a cold; sneezing flatulence; etc. Then there’s the mess that I need to clean up and the thought of having to sleep in a bed or on a pillow or wearing clothes that are according to the Bible “unclean” is not pleasant to me. Of course some may suggest masturbating in the shower, but that does not negate the other side effects now does it!
f. Surely my energy and time can be better used to his glory especially by not concentrating on my own needs or supposed needs (wants)--I mean there is so much sin, suffering and sorrow in the world--it doesn’t need me to add to it. I ask myself do I really want to be part of the problem or the solution?
In saying all of this I admit it is difficult, but not impossible--“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13)--and no matter how many times I fall I know that Christ is there ready to forgive if I repent (Romans 8:35-39).
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[Deleted] - 8/12/2006 1:27:54 AM
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 8/19/2006 3:33:00 PM
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DustBuster
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Another Update:
I finished the SCF The Way of Purity course several weeks ago. Still free of P&M since late January/early February.
So much has changed beyond the acts of P&M itself. Now, I see and relate to women differently. When I see things in the media or on the street, I'm not so easily improperly stimulated the way I used to be.
Also, my dreams and thoughts are not the same. I used to have so many lustful dreams, or go to bed at night bemoaning singleness. Now, I'm just happy with what I have.
I met a wonderful young lady way back in February, coincidentally around the same time that I started the course. I don't know if things might be headed in the direction of dating in the near future, but if it does, I'm glad I got P&M out of the way beforehand.
I also just got baptized this week.
I never imagined so many amazing things could happen in my life over the course of a year. God is so wonderful.
If this is something going on in your life, and you feel called to deal with it. Please do not be afraid to face it head on. I know it's hard and painful, but God will walk you through it, and as you gain closer to Him, you will realize how wonderful it is.
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 8/25/2006 6:49:47 AM
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The_Knute
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I so will not debate this "issue", and do not plan to come back to this topic. I find something disheartening here... Any fellow Christians read Cyrese33's post? We need to be a light. I'll live by my convictions, you by yours. I'm not trying to convict anyone else.
Personally, I can't engage in it without lust involved, and I do a lot better spiritually when I abstain. I control my thoughts. If wrong thoughts about girls try to creep in, I speak to those thoughts. Something like "Lustfull thoughts I command you to go in the name of Jesus", and then I need to do something different, read the word, play some music, whatever. I know we all don't agree with prayer in other tongues, but when I deal with difficulties like lust or the M word (LOL!) I find much strength from praying in tongues. If you struggle with anything and need freedom, use the name of Jesus, there is power in His name and at the sound of the Name of Jesus every knee shall bow.
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 8/28/2006 1:25:54 PM
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ZALMON
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Here's my 2 cents on this issue (like we don't have enough opinions already). Fundamentally, I don't think masturbating is necessarily wrong, but I don't think its the 'right' way either. Here's what I mean: In a perfect world we are to live out 1Cor 7 to our spouses. That is, our bodies belong to our spouse. I think sex is a gift given to us by God for several reasons, one of them being to get to "know" your spouse. Find out what really makes her scream and communicate with her in that area. Another reason is God gave us sex in a martial relationship as a way to express love to the other. In other words, I feel that sexual gratification should be something given to me by my wife. In through that, I can identify the beauty of the sex-act with this person that God gave me and appreciate her all the more because she can, and wants to, drive me wild. So I think when we look at the wholeistic (sp?) reason for sex in a Christian marriage, its easy to see that masturbation really doesn't have a place.
However, we don't live in a perfect world. We are all sinful and selfish. We all desire to fullfill our own gratification and do what "we want to do", without regard for doing the "right thing" most of the time. So when my wife refuses me for months on end then I feel that it doesn't really matter if I masturbate or not. She has already broken the relationship and as long as I do not look for gratification outside of our marriage (porn or other people) then it doesn't really matter.
In my "perfect world" scenario, I should be able to go to my loving wife with my desire and she should be crazy about fullfilling it. However, she is very selfish and for some reason thinks that its better for her to not have sex with me. So the "perfect world" is already broken and until she comes around I don't see anything wrong with it. Its not my first choice but not a bad choice concidering the other alternatives.
Does any of this make sense or am I just rambling? Feel free to send me a private message if anyone wants to discuss this in private.
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[Deleted] - 8/28/2006 2:14:36 PM
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 9/6/2006 4:12:17 AM
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Anst
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Here's an article I recently read and felt helpful in my struggle to discipline myself as regards my sexuality. I hope others will find it helpful too:
Heart-to-Heart Talk With Men and Teen Boys by Don Hooser
This article is a follow-up to last month's article on "Good Sex, Bad Sex." References to "men" include teenage boys and references to "women" include teenage girls.
Many of you men are clean in conduct and pure in heart. But virtually every man is tempted sexually. We sometimes win and sometimes lose the spiritual battles with "the lust of the flesh [and] the lust of the eyes" (1 John 2:16).
For clear explanations of these male temptations and how to do battle with them, I highly recommend the books by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, Every Man's Battle and Every Young Man's Battle. I also recommend a book by Joshua Harris, Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is).
We can only be saved by God's grace (Ephesians 2:8). But we must continue to put all leaven of sin out of our lives. Even one sin infects and leads to other—usually bigger—sins.
"But among you [believers] there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed... Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or course joking" (Ephesians 5:3-4, NIV, emphasis added throughout).
Brazen misuse of sex saturates our society, as Robert Bork describes in his book, Slouching Toward Gomorrah . But Paul urges us to be shining lights in the dark: "Therefore, having these promises [eternal life in the Kingdom of God!], let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh [our actions] and spirit [our thoughts], perfecting holiness in the fear of God" (2 Corinthians 7:1).
Don't confuse temptation with sin. Even Jesus Christ "was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin" (Hebrews 4:15). But if you hang around temptations, you will eventually sin because "the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:41). We must "flee sexual immorality" and "flee ... youthful lusts" (1 Corinthians 6:18; 2 Timothy 2:22).
Nip temptation in the bud, before it turns into sin. Our calling is to bring "every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5). Though we will never be perfect at this in this life, rely on God and continually work toward that goal.
Needed: Holy Men of God
True gentlemen are taught from the earliest age not to hit girls—physically, verbally or emotionally. Men of honor are chivalrous—respectful and protective of women.
Unfortunately, men often are more predators than protectors. Women more often than not are the stronger ones in setting and defending moral boundaries. Often men try to go as far they can toward intimacy and intercourse. How shameful this is!
To make matters worse, women have increasingly become sexually aggressive. It is all the more necessary for men to have clear spiritual principles and strong moral boundaries. "Run from her! Don't go near her house!" (Proverbs 5:8, Living Bible). Note how Joseph is a great role model for all of us (Genesis 39:6-12).
Don't be confident about your strength to resist temptations. "Therefore, let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall" (1 Corinthians 10:12). For men with a normal supply of male hormones, sex is a powerful drive. Almost every book in the New Testament—addressed in most cases to Church members—contains needful teachings and warnings about sexual temptations.
Sexual Sins Bring Terrible Consequences
Satan hates God and is jealous of humanity. Satan's short-range goal is to tempt us with the "forbidden fruit" of sinful sex. But Satan's long-range purpose in this is to destroy physical health (such as with sexually transmitted diseases), mental and emotional health and relationships so that people end up with no sex, even in marriage. The only "safe sex" is monogamous sex within marriage. Save your sex for marriage. The potential for great sex in marriage is well worth waiting for!
People become jaded, desensitized and bored with sex that is disconnected from marital love. Romans 1:20-32 describes how those who turn from God to anything immoral are often drawn into more and worse sins as they desperately try to recapture excitement. For example, indulging in soft-core pornography often leads men to hard-core pornography and then addiction. There is less and less real satisfaction, and more and more guilt and depression.
Proverbs is a book of wisdom. It teaches us that sins bring terrible consequences, and this is especially true of sexual sins, as we read in Proverbs 2:10-20; 5:1-23; 6:23-35; 7:1-27; and 9:13-18! Even mighty King David suffered many bad consequences for his adultery with Bathsheba.
God's laws are absolute, and we always suffer penalties for our sins sooner or later. "Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals, and his feet not be seared? So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife [or someone's future wife]; whoever touches her shall not be innocent" (Proverbs 6:27-29).
Sins of immorality are especially self-destructive. "He who commits adultery has no sense; he who does it destroys himself" (verse 32, Living Bible; compare 1 Corinthians 6:13-20).
Love Versus Lust
Women often suffer more penalties than men when they engage in non-marital sex. The point is that men ought to be terribly ashamed for doing harm to women! Men should treat "older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity" (1 Timothy 5:2). Treat women as you would want someone to treat your mother, sister or daughter.
If you are married, you must be absolutely loyal to your wife. If you are single, you should be absolutely loyal to your future wife. You should want any woman you are dating to be loyal to her future husband.
Don't think, "It's my body. I can do with it what I want." Our bodies and minds are not our own for two reasons. God created us plus "you were bought at a price" by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). The only sexual activity that God permits with His property is within marriage.
You are not even second in authority over your body. Your wife or future wife is (1 Corinthians 7:3-4). In part this means you should think of your sexual organs as belonging to your wife (or future wife once you are married). And you are not to touch a woman where only her husband should ever touch her.
Guard Your Eyes, Ears, Mind and Heart
Likewise, God has authority over what we see, hear and think, and He judges us accordingly. Jesus said, "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28).
Women can lust, too, so God expects men to be modest in dress and actions as well. But as you know, God made men to be more visually oriented so they are immediately tempted to lust by what they see. Women generally are more slow to react, responding more to romance, relationships and touch.
Jesus went on to explain that we must do whatever it takes to keep from sinning in our minds! (Matthew 5:29-30). In this immodest and sexualized society, that means we very often must look the other way. Instead of our eyes locking on to a woman (or to parts of her body or her underwear, etc.) like radar, we must learn to quickly avert our eyes.
This doesn't mean that we men can't enjoy the God-given attractiveness of women. But when a woman is dressed immodestly or is exposed in some way, like when she leans over and you can see down her blouse, look the other way. Don't ogle her. We must not let a glance turn into a gaze or gape, or let a look turn into lust.
Many men have not grown spiritually enough to recognize these sins as sin, as Paul explains in Romans 7. Others just minimize or excuse this lusting. We men have reasoned, "I'm only looking at the menu—I'm not ordering." Or, "I'm only window shopping—I'm not buying or touching." Or, "A guy is a guy and this is a guy thing—can't we just enjoy a little eye candy?" But God doesn't accept these excuses.
The Every Man series of books explains very well how men must immediately "bounce" their eyes away from any provocative or erotic images, whether they are women or pictures of women—in TV, movies, the Internet, magazines, advertising or wherever. Ask yourself, "Does God want me to see this?"
Let's follow the example of Job, who said, "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl" (Job 31:1, NIV, see also verses 9-10). As you learn to rule over your eyes, you can better rule over your thoughts.
But what if a woman is deliberately being immodest and flaunting her assets? In that case, a man is not being a voyeur or acting against the woman's wishes, is he?
No, but what is God's will? And we must assume that someday that woman is going to be ashamed of her past immodesty and exposure to men. So out of respect for her and her husband or future husband, we must not steal views that God does not intend for us to have (compare Genesis 9:20-23). Another reason is to avoid filling your mind with images and memories that will tarnish your marriage or future marriage.
God's people should have the purest standards of what we allow our eyes to see, so avoid many movies, TV shows, Internet sites and magazines, and all lingerie and swimsuit catalogs. David wrote, "I will set nothing wicked before my eyes" (Psalm 101:3), and "Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, and revive me in Your way" (Psalm 119:37).
We must also control our imaginations and fantasies. It is much easier to control thoughts if our memories are not filled with erotic images, so don't continue to pollute your mind. And since many times masturbation is done while viewing pornography or while fantasizing, ruling over one's eyes and thoughts can eliminate much of the temptation of masturbation. Masturbation can cause serious problems. Guilt complexes, self-centeredness and even the habit itself often continue into marriage.
But how do we purge wrong thoughts from our minds? By filling our minds with "whatever things are noble... pure," etc. (Philippians 4:8). "How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word" (Psalm 119:9).
We in God's Church must immerse ourselves in Bible study and seek "the washing of water by the word" (Ephesians 5:26). Keep praying for God's power to overcome bad habits and to grow spiritually.
Will You Choose God's Standards?
During the coming Millennium, probably the only nude woman's body that a man will ever see will be that of his wife after they are married. Because a woman's body is so different from a man's, a married man will be highly attracted and excited by his wife's body. He will not be jaded and bored because of having seen thousands of partly and mostly naked women. He will have no other image with which to compare his wife's body. This will greatly contribute to contented husbands!
Our primary role model should be Jesus Christ. He revolutionized the world in teaching the equal worth of and respect for women. Jesus was friendly to everyone and had women friends, but He never sinned. That means He never improperly touched, ogled or lusted for a woman.
Let us regularly ask, what did and would Jesus do? What would He look at? What would He think? Let us do likewise.
Prepare to give to your wife a healthy body, clean mind and pure heart. That way, you can "live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your... life" (Ecclesiastes 9:9). More importantly, be a spotless member of the B | | | |
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