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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 12/1/2006 1:15:28 AM
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rebelman
Posts: 74
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: Georgia
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The problem with you saying "I havent decided" is pretty much telling me its going to be "your" decision on what is a sin or not. A better idea is to let the Spirit of God make that decision for you.
_____________________________
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"-----2 Corinthians 12:9
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[Deleted] - 12/1/2006 9:02:17 PM
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Deleted User
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[Deleted by Admins]
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 12/3/2006 3:04:10 AM
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Appliancedude
Posts: 3
Joined: 11/29/2006
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quote:
The problem with you saying "I havent decided" is pretty much telling me its going to be "your" decision on what is a sin or not
I havn't decided because I have never read the bible through and don't know what to believe. As I said in my first post, I havn't done it in almost two months, and pray that I won't start again. So maybe I do know and just don't want to accept it yet.
I guess I was hoping someone would say that if I was only imagining my wife then it wouldn't be as bad. But since I'm praying that I won't start again at all, its a moot point.
God grant me freedom from this vice.
_____________________________
It aint broke it just lacks duct tape
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 12/3/2006 3:14:30 PM
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MBachman1
Posts: 3
Joined: 3/17/2006
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On the topic of masturbation, I have a question that's been bothering me for a little while now.
If we say we're sorry after everytime, and yet we keep going on doing it, how do we know we're truly sorry? My mind has even taken it to a step further to how do I know I'm truly saved? It keeps happening over and over again no matter how many times I apologize for it and try to change.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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[Deleted] - 12/3/2006 4:31:14 PM
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Deleted User
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[Deleted by Admins]
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RE: [Deleted] - 12/15/2006 8:50:05 AM
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DaveW
Posts: 3795
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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Apparently we have lost one of our own here: WhatLoveIs.
While I disagreed with his position on the big M, he was an awesome brother, working tirelessly to free people from porn and illicit relationships.
He is already missed.
_____________________________
Avatar is my daughter Laura and SIL David on their wedding 9/20/09 ====================================
Our CD is now available here:
http://cdbaby.com/cd/dswaggoner
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RE: [Deleted] - 12/15/2006 10:31:41 AM
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DustBuster
Posts: 21
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DaveW
Apparently we have lost one of our own here: WhatLoveIs.
While I disagreed with his position on the big M, he was an awesome brother, working tirelessly to free people from porn and illicit relationships.
He is already missed.
Lost him? What do you mean?
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 12/15/2006 2:35:08 PM
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DaveW
Posts: 3795
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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See post 580
_____________________________
Avatar is my daughter Laura and SIL David on their wedding 9/20/09 ====================================
Our CD is now available here:
http://cdbaby.com/cd/dswaggoner
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 12/16/2006 12:34:39 AM
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rebelman
Posts: 74
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From: Georgia
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I think someone upset him in that "whats up thread" here. That seems about all I know. I loved the man and he was very helpful to me. And i did in fact agree with what he said on this long and extensive thread as well.
_____________________________
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"-----2 Corinthians 12:9
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RE: [Deleted] - 1/15/2007 12:40:45 AM
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DustBuster
Posts: 21
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Where is everybody? Nobody is posting in the thread anymore.
I want to hear the voices of people that are struggling, and those who have conquered. If we openly talk about this, we can bear one another's burdens and work our way through this.
I'd like to update on how I've been doing through all this. I quit p&m in january/february 2006 and started setting captives free. It took me until the end of July to finish the program. Now, I'm slowly working on the mentorship program and am approaching a year of freedom. I'm also working to try and get something together for the young adult men at our church. I want to witness to them and empower them to enjoy the same freedom I have found through God.
I was stuck in pornography and masturbation for more than ten years, and I'm 25 years old. That's more than a third of my life. It's pretty much all I've known since puberty went full-blown. At my worst, it was several times daily.
Just last week, I opened up to a girl I really care about and told her that I had a past with pornography. It really broke my heart to know that God had somebody planned for me my whole life to share myself with, and I couldn't wait. I could see the pain before I even told her. But if one day God brings us together, I can take comfort in knowing that I'm dedicated to experiencing the joys of sex with my wife and no one else (including myself), and that makes me excited. That's a level of trust and intimacy and mutual reliance that just can't be achieved with self-serving baggage in the way. My love for "us" is bigger than my love of "me".
My vision is for men to be open with their fellow men, so that they can fight this together; to be open with their significant others, so that secrets do not damage the relationship; and most importantly, to be open with God. He's THE ONLY WAY OUT. And the other side is so much more beautiful than you can possibly imagine. I can't fully explain it. I just want people to get here along with me and be able to say, "yeah, now I know exactly what you meant".
If for no other reason, then simply as an opportunity to deepen your relationship with God. When you give one of the most powerful urges of your flesh over to Him, and then realize how small it actually compares to His powe and love, you will be forever changed.
I am not here to brag. I only tell you to bear witness to the power of God that is just as much yours as it is mine. It's there waiting for you. Go get it.
God Bless Brothers!
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RE: [Deleted] - 1/20/2007 11:54:57 AM
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PolarBear
Posts: 316
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: San Antonio
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Good for you DustBuster.
Personally, I'm finally getting married in April, so that will help a lot!!! (I hope!)
I still M, but have resolved to do it only a certain total number of times before the wedding, and so far I have been exceeding expectations and doing it even less than I am allowing for myself.
Honestly, I still fully agree with themarriagebed.com folks and do not see it as a sin. I am trying to use it to train for endurance and the ability to "last longer" as is often recommended in themarriagebed.com forums (I lurk in the engagement section there).
I don't know if I can guarantee I will never do it after the wedding, but I will certainly always let my wife have first dibs. I was worried before about whether I'd be able to wait for her, but in the last couple months of this resolve, I think I proved to myself that I can wait a lot longer than I thought I could.
_____________________________
Tip of the day: "You" has three letters, not one. It is spelled Y-O-U.
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RE: - Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 1/31/2007 11:25:29 AM
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DaveW
Posts: 3795
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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Good for you polarbear. Good attitude with allowing DW first dibbs.
I am one of those "themarriagebed.com folks." (Same handle, have been asked several times to be on the OG over there) You should join up. So should your fiancee if she is interested.
< Message edited by DaveW -- 1/31/2007 11:29:33 AM >
_____________________________
Avatar is my daughter Laura and SIL David on their wedding 9/20/09 ====================================
Our CD is now available here:
http://cdbaby.com/cd/dswaggoner
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 2/6/2007 3:37:54 PM
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jawsmetroid
Posts: 210
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: Shorts all year, MN
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My thoughts on masturbation-
The Bible does not specifically condemn it. The Bible does, however, condemn lust, and also says that 'if your hand or eye causes you to sin, get rid of it'. Masturbating causes more temptation to lust. It must be cut out.
Agree/disagree? I would like to hear ya'lls thoughts on this.
_____________________________
I say what I mean and mean what I say. I'm not implying something unless it's obvious. When in doubt, ask, don't assume.
Somebody shut me up so I can live out loud!- Toby Mac
Chat about the deep things in life...
www.jawsmetroid.blogspot.com
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 2/6/2007 5:09:07 PM
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Badison
Posts: 301
Joined: 4/15/2006
From: Washington, DC
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quote:
Masturbating causes more temptation to lust.
Does it?
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 2/6/2007 5:42:14 PM
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jawsmetroid
Posts: 210
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: Shorts all year, MN
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Bas
quote:
Masturbating causes more temptation to lust.
Does it?
That is what I have observed. I'm asking for opinions for a reason here, so I can see what you say, I'm not looking to argue about whether or not I'm right.
_____________________________
I say what I mean and mean what I say. I'm not implying something unless it's obvious. When in doubt, ask, don't assume.
Somebody shut me up so I can live out loud!- Toby Mac
Chat about the deep things in life...
www.jawsmetroid.blogspot.com
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 2/7/2007 7:59:36 PM
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PolarBear
Posts: 316
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From: San Antonio
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Jaws: I think the upshot of the issue is that we simply need to be careful about our thoughts. It is absolutely possible to sin in our thoughts while we do it, but it is not necessary. Marriage is a gift from God, and I think that thinking about what it will be like when married is probably fine. But thinking specifically about a certain woman is not fine.
_____________________________
Tip of the day: "You" has three letters, not one. It is spelled Y-O-U.
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 2/7/2007 10:58:54 PM
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jawsmetroid
Posts: 210
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: Shorts all year, MN
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PolarBear
Jaws: I think the upshot of the issue is that we simply need to be careful about our thoughts. It is absolutely possible to sin in our thoughts while we do it, but it is not necessary. Marriage is a gift from God, and I think that thinking about what it will be like when married is probably fine. But thinking specifically about a certain woman is not fine.
I'm not questioning the 'no lust' thing, only that I have heard it possible to masturbate without lusting, and on that basis have heard it claimed that it is okay because it is possible without lust. I'm just wondering what your opinions are on that claim. Sorry I wasn't clearer.
_____________________________
I say what I mean and mean what I say. I'm not implying something unless it's obvious. When in doubt, ask, don't assume.
Somebody shut me up so I can live out loud!- Toby Mac
Chat about the deep things in life...
www.jawsmetroid.blogspot.com
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 2/11/2007 8:23:22 AM
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AnalystsAreUs
Posts: 186
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Much has been said regarding this issue, but I have yet to see or hear any discussions regarding the practical aspects of dealing with it within a marriage relationship.
If this activity is sinful within marriage, then Christian men have been seriously misinformed regarding physical temptation. For we have been told that before marriage, we should avoid spending time alone with the opposite gender because of the obvious temptation. But when you get married, you don’t have to worry about it because you have a safe outlet. If men and women had the same or very similar drives, this would largely be true but it’s often the case that they don’t for one reason or another.
So if this activity is sinful, then the married Christian man has much to be concerned about and his wife is still a source of temptation. If it’s a sin then Christian men should only sleep in the same bed with their wives when their wives are “in the mood”. As a matter of fact, they probably shouldn’t be living in the same house. In addition, they should only give them physical affection when they are “in the mood” because of how easily men are turned on. After all, didn’t Gary Smally say men are like “toasters”?
And what does the married man do if he is married to a chronically ill wife and all she wants to do is cuddle? If this activity is sinful, then he should be advised to move out.
If this activity is sinful with in marriage, then for the Christian man, getting married will more than likely increase your temptation because of often mismatched drives.
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 2/14/2007 12:31:10 AM
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DustBuster
Posts: 21
Joined: 10/21/2005
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So, it's not sinful within marriage, because it's hard and there's temptation of a different form?
Sorry, but what makes something sinful has nothing to do with how hard it is not to do it.
What makes something sinful is about what goes on in our hearts, and what God has intended for us.
I'm not going to tell somebody what they can and can't do within their marriage, but if you're trying to discern whether ot not something is sin,, at least have the proper perspective.
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 2/14/2007 1:50:38 AM
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jawsmetroid
Posts: 210
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: Shorts all year, MN
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DustBuster
So, it's not sinful within marriage, because it's hard and there's temptation of a different form?
Sorry, but what makes something sinful has nothing to do with how hard it is not to do it.
What makes something sinful is about what goes on in our hearts, and what God has intended for us.
I'm not going to tell somebody what they can and can't do within their marriage, but if you're trying to discern whether ot not something is sin,, at least have the proper perspective.
Amen. I would add that it goes against God's original plan of one man and one woman, as it is along the lines of one man and his sex organs instead. I would agree that it is hard, but not impossible. Nothing is impossible with God.
_____________________________
I say what I mean and mean what I say. I'm not implying something unless it's obvious. When in doubt, ask, don't assume.
Somebody shut me up so I can live out loud!- Toby Mac
Chat about the deep things in life...
www.jawsmetroid.blogspot.com
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 2/17/2007 5:34:50 PM
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AnalystsAreUs
Posts: 186
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jawsmetroid
quote:
ORIGINAL: DustBuster
So, it's not sinful within marriage, because it's hard and there's temptation of a different form?
Sorry, but what makes something sinful has nothing to do with how hard it is not to do it.
What makes something sinful is about what goes on in our hearts, and what God has intended for us.
I'm not going to tell somebody what they can and can't do within their marriage, but if you're trying to discern whether ot not something is sin,, at least have the proper perspective.
Amen. I would add that it goes against God's original plan of one man and one woman, as it is along the lines of one man and his sex organs instead. I would agree that it is hard, but not impossible. Nothing is impossible with God.
You are going to have to be careful about arguing from design. Man was not designed to fly but I have yet to meet anyone who thinks it’s a sin to get on an airplane or go hang gliding.
As for it not being a solo activity, then accordingly, nocturnal emissions would have to be a sin as well. Yet the Bible talks about it yet does not say it’s a sin.
As for the difficulty of being married to a chronically ill wife, the point was how to practically deal with the frustration.
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 2/18/2007 3:15:18 PM
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jawsmetroid
Posts: 210
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: Shorts all year, MN
Status: offline
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quote:
You are going to have to be careful about arguing from design. Man was not designed to fly but I have yet to meet anyone who thinks it’s a sin to get on an airplane or go hang gliding.
As for it not being a solo activity, then accordingly, nocturnal emissions would have to be a sin as well. Yet the Bible talks about it yet does not say it’s a sin.
Nocturnal emissions are unintentional. Masturbation is.
God designed sex to be the ultimate intimacy between a man and a woman. I'm not arguing that it's a sin, but that it is unnatural. It's a sin if it causes you to lust. It's a sin if it causes you to not love your wife the way you should.
By the way, I'm not going to 'be careful' about arguing that something that goes against God's design is sin if it is sin. If not sin, I simply say that it is against God's design, which is what I was doing.
_____________________________
I say what I mean and mean what I say. I'm not implying something unless it's obvious. When in doubt, ask, don't assume.
Somebody shut me up so I can live out loud!- Toby Mac
Chat about the deep things in life...
www.jawsmetroid.blogspot.com
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RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread - 2/18/2007 11:43:06 PM
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AnalystsAreUs
Posts: 186
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jawsmetroid
quote:
You are going to have to be careful about arguing from design. Man was not designed to fly but I have yet to meet anyone who thinks it’s a sin to get on an airplane or go hang gliding.
As for it not being a solo activity, then accordingly, nocturnal emissions would have to be a sin as well. Yet the Bible talks about it yet does not say it’s a sin.
Nocturnal emissions are unintentional. Masturbation is.
God designed sex to be the ultimate intimacy between a man and a woman. I'm not arguing that it's a sin, but that it is unnatural. It's a sin if it causes you to lust. It's a sin if it causes you to not love your wife the way you should.
By the way, I'm not going to 'be careful' about arguing that something that goes against God's design is sin if it is sin. If not sin, I simply say that it is against God's design, which is what I was doing.
Nocturnal emission unintentional? When I get woken up because of one of my “natural” dreams, there’s a whole lot of intention going on and it’s not always with my wife either. But I guess it’s ok to dream about some other women instead of staying awake an intentionally think about her. Thanks for clarifying that.
You are saying that masturbation is not natural. Yet nocturnal release is natural and it’s a solo act. So Let me get this straight. As long as I’m not conscience, it’s natural.
I guess I need to start taking more sleeping pills. Why didn’t I think about this sooner? You have been so much help!
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