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Anst -> RE: Masturbation - One Stop Thread (9/18/2009 12:48:31 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tylakeland
Anst...Hows your struggle been lately.
To tell you the truth I’ve been struggling the past few weeks like something bad, but after watching the documentary Teens Hooked On Porn I’ve re-examined my habit and am feeling more positive about my approach to handling and, ultimately overcoming, this addiction. It’s been a long struggle, going something on 6-7 years now, with heaps of successes and heaps more failures e.g. one month I’ll do ok—no porn or touching myself—but the next I’ll touch myself or look at porn or both and the end result is I masturbate several times. So I'm thinking that my weakness tends to be those moments when I choose to relent, either in the morning when, as you said “morning glory” is staring you in the face or in the shower when you’re in nothing, but your “birthday suit” or at night when sometimes just can’t sleep. And yet, I recall a time in my life when those same moments, which I now find to be a source for temptation, I chose to do other things, when masturbation didn’t even figure into the equation e.g. ignoring the “morning wood” or if I was bored reading a book or finding some company or just simply praying etc. So I feel like I have to re-educate my brain just like you would your tastebuds when you know you have to eat your veggies, for instance, because they’re good for you even though your tastebuds would rather you eat that bucket of greasy, salty chips. And to be totally honest with you, I find that if I choose to touch myself just once it’s like I’ve already failed since I’ve ignited something within that demands to be released without relent. And by keeping this up, e.g. touching yourself every second day, it will inevitably lead to the point of no return, even if accidentally. I dunno, but after learning some positive truths about this addiction and the way it has embedded itself into my life I’m under no illusion that I’ll ever be cured of it. That doesn’t mean I’ve given up trying to resist the temptation and overcoming it. What it does mean, however, is that I understand there is a possibility--even probability--that I’ll be struggling with this addiction for the rest of my life, but I know that I’m not alone. And you know what, I’m ok with that, because I’m assured that my salvation lies in Jesus Christ, and nothing I do or don’t do can ever change that i.e. my relationship with Christ (and value thereof) is what is most important to me and needs to be my focus or main goal. Just like the apostle Paul, who struggled with “a thorn in the flesh” and pleaded with God to heal him (2 Corinthians 12:7-10), I guess, I have to come to a similar understanding, i.e. that God’s grace is sufficient for me too, since even he eventually reached “a point of acceptance, realizing that his problem would likely never leave him, but must learn to cope with it” (from http://www.ucg.org/un/un0908/such-were-some-of-you.htm). So I’m hoping whatever I do I’ll be able to maintain a right relationship with Christ Jesus and keep my addiction in check since I know now that my life’s goal isn’t material (to know or experience or possess all that I can), but spiritual (to do the right thing no matter how unpopular or uncomfortable it might be). And I know it might sound like a Hollywood cliché, but when you think about it, it does make sense i.e. that it’s our choices that truly define us and set us apart. I mean, look at Christ’s example: “who did no sin neither was guile found in his mouth: who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously” (1 Peter 2:22-23). Yet towards the end of his life, he saw what could only be described as the worst of human nature (e.g. enemies conspiring to murder him, friends betraying and deserting him, a sham trial, being publically beaten and finally executed). But, through it all he remained steadfast to God and his commandments, trusting in his will no matter how stressful, unpleasant, tiring, lonely or cold the circumstances. Wow! What strength of character he had! I mean it’s in the most challenging of times that we really discover what metal we’re made of don’t you reckon? So, my feeling is that our choices, in essence, do reflect the content of our character and I have to start making wiser choices. If I choose to masturbate I’m not only making a poor choice, in my opinion, like eating junk food habitually, but my character is being misshaped somewhat, and this, in turn, has the potential to lead to character flaws or immoral acts (i.e. like lying about my habit, buckling under peer pressure to have sex outside of marriage, etc). For instance, I know of one young guy who during the middle of the night couldn’t sleep and chose to go on the internet. His younger sister got up to get a cup of water and noticed the wireless was switched on in the kitchen. The following day she told her mom who asked the boy if it was true. He denied that he had been on the internet and accused his sister of imagining things. Then the dad who was woken by the commotion told his wife they could easily end the squabble by checking on his laptop to see when was the last time he logged on. The mom then re-asked him once again and he finally confessed that it was true. He was duly banned from going on the net for a month. The dad, later spoke to his son in private and told him that there was nothing wrong with using the internet so late at night if he couldn’t sleep. It probably wasn’t the wisest of things to do at that hour, but what was wrong was that he lied about it. And since all relationships (e.g. friends, family, etc) are based on trust and honesty if you undermine this moral foundation there is nothing left to build on or make it last. Hence, I’m just going to try my level best from now on to refocus my thoughts and acts by focusing less on my libido and more on my relationship with Jesus Christ no matter what trials he allows me to face in life. I hope this all makes sense. I guess, what it comes down to is that we’re all sin-addicts (and sin is, by nature, a choice e.g. remember the story of the tree of knowledge?) and so we need God’s cure for this through Jesus Christ. So here goes nothing...
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