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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/16/2008 8:59:50 AM
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manda59
Posts: 8197
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From: Hampshire, UK
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Someone said to me recently that they were having lots of difficulties with breastfeeding but didn't want to "take the easy way out" and bottlefeed.
I have heard this quite frequently.
I was wondering what is so wrong about wanting to make things easier for yourself, especially if you are under a lot of stress. When I switched to 100% bottle feeding, it *was* to make it easier for me - I *needed* things to be easier for me. I wept with relief, and became far more relaxed about my baby, about motherhood in general, and actually started to enjoy the whole experience far more.
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"Manda.....you said what I tried to say, just much better"
sharonjef, October 2009
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/16/2008 9:07:10 AM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 6477
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From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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I agree. Sometimes, it's okay to go the "easy" route.
When I had to go back to work after my first was born, I knew I did not have the physical or mental fortitude to pump. Plus, my job didn't allow for regular breaks, so I couldn't be on a schedule for pumping. I didn't even bother trying because I knew it wouldn't work. I did nurse the baby when I was with him, but that lasted 2 months before he decided he preferred the bottle.
Instead of focusing on what I wanted to give him and couldn't at that time, it would have been better for me to look back and know I was doing all I could with what I had at that time and that I had given him a good start with the breastmilk at least. Do I wish it had been different? Sure, but I wish my whole life had been different at that point. You deal with what you have to deal with...
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/16/2008 9:21:27 AM
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BlessedMamaofmany
Posts: 1709
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From: Just north of nowhere
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yes. Do what you gotta do. That's all we can do.
Sandy
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Atheism: The belief that there was nothing, nothing happened to nothing, then nothing magically exploded for no reason, creating everything, then a bunch of everything magically rearranged itself into self-replicating bits that then turned into dinosaurs
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/16/2008 11:00:54 AM
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Sideways
Posts: 3360
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
I was wondering what is so wrong about wanting to make things easier for yourself, especially if you are under a lot of stress.
Hey it's just like the natural/unnatural birthing debate or even the WOHM/SAHM debate.
For some women, they feel like if they put themselves through heck, then so should you. They deserve a medal because they did things "the right way".
Whatever makes you a better mom is the way to go, I say.
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/17/2008 5:50:24 AM
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manda59
Posts: 8197
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From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RepentanceIsRequired
When I get discouraged and frustraed (which has been happening this week) and I want to give up, I don't becase part of me feels that if I do then I have failed myself, not her because I don't think Mary really cares what she eats.
hi there,
If this is something you really want to do and is working for you, then that is great. I don't want to try and put you off at all. But I am concerned about this notion of failing yourself - where do you think this thought may have come from?
_____________________________
"Manda.....you said what I tried to say, just much better"
sharonjef, October 2009
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/17/2008 11:24:45 PM
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4lilMonkies
Posts: 551
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From: Home is where the heart is.
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I think it is simply coming from myself and my expectations. I see how many moms are able to go 6 mo, 9 mo even well over 12 mo. Then for the past several months I tell myself, "Yes, I can do it too". But when things are getting rough I begin to doubt myself and wonder if my epectations were too high.
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--Nicole--
"Riding the roller coaster in which our children send us on" Lori Meyer
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/19/2008 8:36:52 PM
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manda59
Posts: 8197
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From: Hampshire, UK
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I guess it may depend on where you get your expectations of yourself from.
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"Manda.....you said what I tried to say, just much better"
sharonjef, October 2009
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/19/2008 8:58:57 PM
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W.O.F.
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I think the MOST important thing, no matter what, is to Love, HOLD, and snuggle your child as much as you can...that is what "feeds" them the most...the loving, physical contact with their parent (be it birth, or adoptive).
While God made breastmilk for babies, He also gave us the knowledge for formula for those times that breastfeeding just isn't working...for whatever reason....but the basic ingredients of touching, snuggling, singing/talking to that infant during feeding never changes. EVER...no matter how we feed them...we can meet their REAL needs.
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Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/19/2008 10:07:16 PM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 948
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Great post, WOF. You are absolutely right.
Nicole, breastfeeding is hard. This time I kept setting little 2 or 3 month at a time goals for myself and kept psyching myself up for possible low supply or breastfeeding problems. That way I wouldn't be so darned dissapointed in myself if I couldn't nurse to a year. Just keep trying, but don't let it get to the point of resentment or being stressed about pumping or supplementing. Just go with the flow and whatever happens happens. Nurse when you can and want, and bottle feed when you can't.
I used to hate being so stressed our before my three days at work trying to pump enough for my shifts and then crying because there wasn't enough. Don't do that to yourself. It's horrible and makes you feel like you failed. Just keep saying to yourself, "I pump what I pump and the rest is formula." And, if you don't feel like pumping that day, then formula it is. You are working full-time, give yourself a break, hon.
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Turn right to go left
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/19/2008 10:18:19 PM
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4lilMonkies
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Thank you Christina for your words. I am not working yet, but will be soon. I am keeping it in mind that I may not be able to keep it up while working. I'm finding that almost each day is different. Mary will change her likes in positions and how she eats. I go with the flow each day.
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--Nicole--
"Riding the roller coaster in which our children send us on" Lori Meyer
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/29/2008 9:53:33 AM
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manda59
Posts: 8197
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From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
Whatever makes you a better mom is the way to go, I say.
Breastfeeding became so stressful for me with my ds (mastitis, blanched nipples, ds wouldn't feed from one breast and there wasn't enough in the other) that I used to literally shake when he woke for a feed, and would cry as I was feeding him - especially from the severe pain as he first "clamped" on.
Even half and half became too much, and I did indeed become a better mother when I switched over totally to bottlefeeding.
_____________________________
"Manda.....you said what I tried to say, just much better"
sharonjef, October 2009
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 5/29/2008 11:25:27 AM
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PinkCarnations
Posts: 10801
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
Whatever makes you a better mom is the way to go, I say.
I agree!!
A few years ago I went over to visit a friend who'd just had triplets. She was in tears because her sister wanted to "help her" by sending LLL info and calling her several times a day to inform her of all the benefits of nursing. She had been bombarded with so much anti-bottle information that she felt like a bad mom and her babies were home from the hospital for week or so! 
Someone had suggested to her that she hire a wet nurse to come in and feed the babies for her.
1- She didn't want a stranger handling her babies.
2- She pointed out that she had no way of knowing what the woman had ingested and how that would effect her babies.
None of this did anything to help her PPD.
One of my trips over there I took along another friend. This other friend had also had very awesome experiences in nursing. The other friend pointed out to her that if she was nursing then we wouldn't have as much of a need to get together every morning for coffee and baby feeding and girl talk! 
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Thank you Veterans.
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 6/7/2008 12:16:57 AM
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IAMJulie
Posts: 132
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: WA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
Breastfeeding became so stressful for me with my ds (mastitis, blanched nipples, ds wouldn't feed from one breast and there wasn't enough in the other) that I used to literally shake when he woke for a feed, and would cry as I was feeding him - especially from the severe pain as he first "clamped" on.
Even half and half became too much, and I did indeed become a better mother when I switched over totally to bottlefeeding.
This is just about the road I traveled with DD. There is no bonding to be found between mama and baby during nursing when mama and baby both end up in frustrated tears by the end. Hard to look into your babies eyes when you can't see because you're crying. I used to cringe and start to cry the moment DD made it known that she was hungry, too, it's awful. It's funny how I found DD so much more lovable after I started to bottle feed exclusively.
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Julie, wife to Rob, mom to son Gabriel (2/04), daughter Zion (10/06), son Gideon (4/08) and one more due June 29, '10, dog Towzer, cats Benny and Maisy, Allie the rabbit and a few fish. www.wellblessed.blogspot.com :)
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 6/9/2008 8:35:32 PM
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firefightermama
Posts: 672
Joined: 10/24/2006
From: Canada
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Does anyone know the difference between the formula and 2nd step (after 6 months) formula?
It says it has added calcium, but other than that, is there any other difference?
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~yolanda~
"I wish I was a glow worm, cuz glow worms are never glum.
How can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum?
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 6/10/2008 12:26:02 AM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 948
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From: Newberg, OR
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I'm pretty sure it's just a marketing gimmick, Yolanda.
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-Stina
Turn right to go left
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 6/10/2008 3:34:53 AM
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manda59
Posts: 8197
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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It's a while since mine were using it, but way back then there wasn't really much difference in actual product.
_____________________________
"Manda.....you said what I tried to say, just much better"
sharonjef, October 2009
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 6/10/2008 9:38:12 AM
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firefightermama
Posts: 672
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From: Canada
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It's exactly the same price...
There's one ingredient different, but I threw out my old can, so I don't remember what it's called.
_____________________________
~yolanda~
"I wish I was a glow worm, cuz glow worms are never glum.
How can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum?
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 6/10/2008 11:52:29 AM
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Karaboo2
Posts: 2002
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Ontario, Canada
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The iron content should be slightly lower in the second step formula, as they are assuming that the kids are getting iron in the table food which would be introduced around that point.
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Tea Drinkers Anonymous
<-- Future Consumer of Steeped Tea from TH's
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 6/10/2008 12:32:20 PM
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IAMJulie
Posts: 132
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: WA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: firefightermama
It's exactly the same price...
There's one ingredient different, but I threw out my old can, so I don't remember what it's called.
Here the stage 2 stuff is about $4 more per can.
_____________________________
Julie, wife to Rob, mom to son Gabriel (2/04), daughter Zion (10/06), son Gideon (4/08) and one more due June 29, '10, dog Towzer, cats Benny and Maisy, Allie the rabbit and a few fish. www.wellblessed.blogspot.com :)
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RE: When breast WASN'T best - 6/10/2008 2:34:57 PM
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Karaboo2
Posts: 2002
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Ontario, Canada
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Oh ... here the stage 2 is within a few cents of the regular stuff ...
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Kara
Tea Drinkers Anonymous
<-- Future Consumer of Steeped Tea from TH's
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