RE: When breast WASN'T best (Full Version)

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manda59 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (10/2/2009 10:07:19 PM)

Ruth, I found that I was just not big enough to get over the food restrictions. I needed to be able to eat what I wanted, and not being able to do so was holding back my emotional recovery. I even found I was becoming resentful over it. I didn't have the dairy allergy thing to worry about though so I was able to just switch to formula.

Might be an idea to try Greg's suggestion anyway - though I imagine it could be quite difficult if Nathan ends up getting disturbed.

I feel for you.



Sideways -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (10/2/2009 10:17:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2

quote:

My husband does not feel as though there is sufficient evidence to prove that it is gassiness causing all of the sleep troubles, or specifically that it is breastfeeding causing all of the sleep troubles.

If he doesn't think those could be linked, then what does he think it is related to?


Well, Greg doesn't know for sure, he just thinks that while she is gassy sometimes, she's not always waking up due to gas, and that it may be because of her new motor skills, needing to learn how to sooth herself back to sleep, things like that.

And yes, he is willing to help with nighttime care of the baby. He's been great like that.

So far Nathan doesn't appear to be disturbed by the baby's crying, though he has been very tired/cranky lately. We thought he was going through a growth spurt, but even if he isn't waking up completely, it may be disruptive to him.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (10/2/2009 10:21:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sideways

quote:

ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2

quote:

My husband does not feel as though there is sufficient evidence to prove that it is gassiness causing all of the sleep troubles, or specifically that it is breastfeeding causing all of the sleep troubles.

If he doesn't think those could be linked, then what does he think it is related to?


Well, Greg doesn't know for sure, he just thinks that while she is gassy sometimes, she's not always waking up due to gas, and that it may be because of her new motor skills, needing to learn how to sooth herself back to sleep, things like that.

And yes, he is willing to help with nighttime care of the baby. He's been great like that.

So far Nathan doesn't appear to be disturbed by the baby's crying, though he has been very tired/cranky lately. We thought he was going through a growth spurt, but even if he isn't waking up completely, it may be disruptive to him.

What do you think about her night time wakings? Same as Greg (sometimes gassy sometimes not?)



Sideways -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (10/2/2009 10:50:21 PM)

I honestly don't know. It's certainly possible. I feel extremely uncertain as a mother right now. Isn't our "mommy instinct" supposed to tell us what to do? I feel a little lost.

I think it is worthwhile to give Greg's idea a try. I'm certainly not looking to wean this week or anything, but the idea has crossed my mind. Sometimes nursing feels like a terrible blend of resentment, pride and guilt (when I'm not so keen on it).



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (10/2/2009 11:02:38 PM)

quote:

Isn't our "mommy instinct" supposed to tell us what to do?

roflol...it's amazing to me how much I don't know the more kids I have. For me, Mommy instinct hits when they are older and I can learn to look at them and see how they react in certain instances, but really, that gut feelings, doesn't really come to me very often.
I personally find it easier to just go with the flow sometimes with babies, so that's my personal way of doing things. I tend to sit back and just wait it out and do what I know works, if that keeps it peaceful. I can't stand whining and crying, so to me, if holding them or nursing them to sleep is going to stop the crying, then that's what I do. Once they hit that 2yo stage (which is usually anywhere between 18mo and 24mo when they really get it and start having more control over themselves), that's when I switch from baby mode to toddler mode and start breaking those baby things that I have done up until that point.
Of course, that is ME, not in any way saying you have to be like that.

quote:

I'm certainly not looking to wean this week or anything, but the idea has crossed my mind. Sometimes nursing feels like a terrible blend of resentment, pride and guilt (when I'm not so keen on it).

Are you, or were you in the past, on meds? (depression or other type of mental type of meds)

quote:

I think it is worthwhile to give Greg's idea a try.

Does he have any specific ideas? Is he looking for ideas? Books? What age and what technique did you use for Nathan?



Sideways -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (10/2/2009 11:17:15 PM)

No, I'm not now, nor have been been on any meds for depression. I've seen a therapist for self-harming, but that's gotten a lot better.

Greg's idea mirror the Controlled Crying concepts, with some adaptations. We did this for Nathan when he hit the older baby stage. I still nurse her if it's been a number of hours since she last nursed. But he'd like to teach her to not to wake up so frequently, as long as she isn't in pain from gas. One of us will go in at regular intervals to offer comfort, but not rock/nurse her back to sleep.

One problem is that nursing doesn't always put her back to sleep anymore. Sometimes, she just wants to camp out and rest at the breast, and that's where I call it quits. I am not a pacifier; I have enough supply to feed half the block. That's my personal line in the sand.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (10/2/2009 11:31:27 PM)

quote:

No, I'm not now, nor have been been on any meds for depression. I've seen a therapist for self-harming, but that's gotten a lot better.

OK..I knew you mentioned that, but I didn't know if you were on meds. If you were I was going to say you probably need to talk to your dr about your own feelings.

quote:

Greg's idea mirror the Controlled Crying concepts, with some adaptations. We did this for Nathan when he hit the older baby stage. I still nurse her if it's been a number of hours since she last nursed. But he'd like to teach her to not to wake up so frequently, as long as she isn't in pain from gas. One of us will go in at regular intervals to offer comfort, but not rock/nurse her back to sleep.

Considering her nutrition problems, would you feel comfortable about giving her something to "fill her up more" before bed? (cereal, protein, etc)

quote:

One problem is that nursing doesn't always put her back to sleep anymore. Sometimes, she just wants to camp out and rest at the breast, and that's where I call it quits. I am not a pacifier; I have enough supply to feed half the block. That's my personal line in the sand.

Yeah. Did you try going back to swaddling when she nurses and you want her to stay asleep? One of mine wanted to be swaddled the entire time she nursed (15mo) and when I didn't swaddle her, she would wake up the second I put her down.
Have you tried a few different physical things you can do to make sure she is as comfortable as possible? (feet covered or not covered, according to her likes, swaddling, how you put her down, etc. I know mine are always much easier to put down if I can lay them down while hugging them and slowly let go. I can't do that in a baby bed, so I use the floor or baby mattress on the floor a lot.)
hmmm...I will try to come up with any other ideas and post them if I think of any.

If she consistently wakes during the night, I would also say try not letting her take as many or as long of naps during the day because she simply might not be tired enough to go back to sleep immediately.



myka -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (10/2/2009 11:34:39 PM)

Ruth, I did milk allergy/soy allergy nursing restriction (very restrictive) from the time my little one was around 6 months to the time she weaned just after she was 3. It is hard, sometimes I was resentful and tired of having to restrict 'my' diet for the good of my child; sometimes, I was proud of being able to sacrifice myself for her health. Eventually, I got to a place that I didn't resent it so much, but lots of moms don't even try or can't do it very long.

Also, about 9 months is a big change in babies...

(((((Ruth)))))



manda59 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (10/3/2009 5:48:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sideways
I honestly don't know. It's certainly possible. I feel extremely uncertain as a mother right now. Isn't our "mommy instinct" supposed to tell us what to do?



For me sometimes, and sometimes (most of the time) it was trial and error (and quite a lot of those).

I think Greg's version of Controlled Crying sounds fine, especially as he is willing to help. She's not going to be left for long periods alone, and will be comforted.

(((Ruth)))

You will get through this and you will all be fine. [:)]



Sideways -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (10/3/2009 8:01:28 AM)

Manda, Sarah and the other ladies here, I want to say thank you for your advice and support. I know it's an investment of your time, and I do appreciate it.



PinkCarnations -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (10/3/2009 9:51:27 AM)

((((Ruth)))) For me "mommy instinct" was kind of hit and miss.



Sideways -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (10/3/2009 10:06:42 AM)

Hit and miss is right. It's almost like you throw a bunch of stuff at some poor baby and keep what sticks. It's a good thing babies are so resilient.



macokjc -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (10/3/2009 1:08:47 PM)

Oh boy, Ruth, can I relate. I think that the "mommy instinct" is so hard because babies are constantly changing and growing. In my opinion, any mother that says that she always could tell what her baby needed is just flat out lying. Who knows if it is tummy troubles, food you ate, teething, change in temperature, change in motor skills, etc., etc, AND etc.....Right now my 8 month old (8 months today -weep, weep) is upstairs crying himself to sleep. I know that if I was to nurse him, he would fall asleep and I could lay him down- but I'm not a pacifier - and I refuse to be one - end of story. He doesn't need to eat, he just ate a bit ago. It's not going to hurt him to cry. Luckily he shares a room with his older brother, and that child sleeps like the dead, so I can let him cry in the night and it won't bother him. This is the only child I have had that would not take a pacifier or suck his thumb, so he probably cries a bit more before sleeping than the other ones.

My second child has horrible acid reflux and was sensitive to almost everything I ate. At six months I was done. I switched him to soy formula, and he was happy as could be. I was a bit ready to be done as well, because my first two were 11 months apart, and almost the entire time of our short marriage I had been pregnant or breastfeeding.



sharonjef2007 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (11/9/2009 8:31:42 PM)

Isn't formula more filling for longer for babies than breastmilk?



manda59 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (11/9/2009 8:37:39 PM)

It was for mine, yes.



clag4christ -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (11/9/2009 8:38:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007

Isn't formula more filling for longer for babies than breastmilk?


It depends on the baby. I personally haven't found that to be the case.



PinkCarnations -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (11/9/2009 8:40:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007

Isn't formula more filling for longer for babies than breastmilk?


I didn't find that to be true.



manda59 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (11/9/2009 8:44:49 PM)

Sharon

JFYI, in case you don't know and are interested (don't worry if you're not! lol), with my ds he was breastfed with the odd formula bottle for the first two weeks (he was ill with meningitis and I wasn't producing enough breastmilk), then I tried to exclusively breastfeed when he came home, got too stressed, and moved on to half his feeds being breastmilk and half his feeds being formula. By 3 months old, he was exclusively on formula. With my dd, I intended trying again to breastfeed, but she got neonatal jaundice at a day or so old, and needed formula to flush it through. I did half formula, half breastmilk again, but she was fully on formula by 6 weeks old.



manda59 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (11/9/2009 8:45:51 PM)

For mine, it meant that the 1-2 hour feedings became spaced out to 3-4 hours.



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (11/9/2009 8:48:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007

Isn't formula more filling for longer for babies than breastmilk?


It wasn't for Gabby. She ate every 2-3 hours when breastfed and bottle fed. It was more like every 1.5-2 hours for the first 8ish weeks and we were supplementing then as well.



EmilyAnn -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (11/9/2009 11:16:46 PM)

I don't know, but David was getting some formula by 2 weeks old and was only waking up once a night (around 3:30) from that point on. James is fully breastfed (for now) and is still eating every 2 hours at 6 weeks old. I don't know if it is the formula or just different babies.



sharonjef2007 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (11/10/2009 1:05:57 PM)

Anyone have any suggestions on how to supplement with formula? Seriously.....I feel like I'm gonna end up in a padded room unless I do something different now. My mom will only be here for one more week.



manda59 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (11/10/2009 1:28:32 PM)

Sharon, what kind of suggestions are you looking for?

Supplementing with formula will start to decrease your supply, even if you pump for the feed that you "missed". So you need to know that it will be the beginning of the end of breastfeeding. Not right away, but at some time.

Otherwise, just pick a brand and give it a go. You might want to choose one particular feed each day to start off with. That's what I did, I think I chose to replace one of the evening feeds each day, because that was when I had the least milk anyway. Then after a few days of giving him one formula feed each day, I upped it to two, then left it at two for a while.

First time I used formula with my ds it was because he'd emptied me out at a breast feed, and then threw the whole lot up all over me, and was crying for more milk. I literally was empty, he was screaming at the breast, and so I was so glad I had some ready made cartons of formula in the cupboard otherwise he'd have gone hungry.

Derrek has already taken a bottle of your milk, so he should be ok taking one. Do you have any expressed milk? You could always give him that first, then top him up with an oz or two of formula, or mix it half and half, or just try straight formula.



sharonjef2007 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (11/10/2009 1:33:14 PM)

So, it is ok to mix formula and breast milk together in the same bottle?

As for my supply....I'm using the nipple shield and pumping now to try and keep my supply up. He has a really high pallette and my nipples are small, one is flat and one is inverted. He can't even keep suction on the flat one.



manda59 -> RE: When breast WASN'T best (11/10/2009 1:50:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007
So, it is ok to mix formula and breast milk together in the same bottle?



Yes, it is, if he will take it.

Some babies get a little constipated when they first have formula, so giving him half formula half breast milk to start with might make that less likely.



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