RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (Full Version)

All Forums >> [People] >> Women Only >> Maternity Ward



Message

JoyfulLady -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/2/2008 9:24:32 AM)

OK, I've been resting and doing very, very little the last couple of days. [:)] My husband is more than willing to help out, I just hated asking him. But I've started asking him and telling him things that need to be done.

When *can* I get back to "normal"? Do I need to wait until the pain/discomfort is completely gone?

quote:

Is your wound 100% scabbed over and dry all the time?


Yep, it looks really good.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/2/2008 1:08:56 PM)

quote:

OK, I've been resting and doing very, very little the last couple of days. My husband is more than willing to help out, I just hated asking him. But I've started asking him and telling him things that need to be done.

we find that what works best is every day for me to make a list of things that MUST be done, things that need to be done, and things that it would be great if they were done but aren't necessary. This helps hubby to prioritize and still do things that really need to be done without me turning into a nag.



TwinCityGirl -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/2/2008 1:45:54 PM)

Hi, Amber, and congratulations!

My sister had a C-section with her twin boys on November 3rd. At her 6-week check-up the doctor told her it is NORMAL to have pain on one side of your incision (or the other) for UP TO A YEAR after the surgery. Very, very normal.

He also told her some of her other pains were from her organs trying to make their way back to the now-empty spaces caused by the twins' vacancy, and that it would hurt for a bit while things made their way back to where they were pre-pregnancy.

She is really picky about her house being clean (in a good way picky) but with twins, and being a first-time mom -- even when her very, very critical mother-in-law stops over and makes snide comments on "If I'd paid what you'd paid for these hard-wood floors I would try to keep them a little cleaner", she has learned to BLOW THAT OFF. She has even told her MIL multiple times (fairly politely, but sternly if she has to) "Right now my priority is our two boys. Their feeding and care is my FIRST and ONLY priority right now. The floors can wait." And her MIL always backs down and tries to make it all jokey "Oh, I was kidding...." etc., but my sister knows she is NOT kidding about such things.

And now that her boys are 8 weeks old she has found short smidgens of time here and there when they are sleeping when she blitzes through the house and sweeps the floors or unloads the dishwasher (her husband is back at work, and yes, he is helpful when he's there). But I think it's normal and totally okay to let things slide a little bit when your newborn and you are getting in sync with each other. It is far more important your baby learns how to nurse properly than for you to have the laundry put away.

I'm sure it's a hard adjustment to go from a 2-person adult household where you can have it as clean as you want whenever you want to a 2-adult/1-newborn household where there are also pain issues, physical healing, lack of rest, and skills for baby and parents to learn going on. Make sure to cut yourself some big-time slack on all the topsy-turviness your little one has brought into your house (the best topsy-turviness you can get!).

Congratulations, again, Amber!

Jeanie

p.s. I have a close friend who had a C-section 11 months ago and is still dealing with pain issues from the surgery. She was relieved to hear that my sister's doctor told her that is not at all unusual. Maybe not all doctors will be that blunt about it, but it brought my friend some comfort that she is "normal".



JoyfulLady -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/2/2008 3:30:52 PM)

Thank you for the congrats, Jeanie! [:D]

I am feeling a ton better today--2 wks pp, but I promise I'll keep taking it easy and not obsess over the house. [:)]

Sarah, that is a really great idea about the lists!!



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/2/2008 3:49:37 PM)

quote:

Sarah, that is a really great idea about the lists!!

lol...the wisdom of having had several babies and been on bed rest and all sorts of other things. I had to learn that one the hard way...and I am sure it wouldn't work for everyone, but it works best for us. Also on the lists...I try to not overload each section...I really analyze things before writing them down in each column. I like using a white board or chalk board...easily erased when each thing is done.

From my experience I can tell you this....I usually feel so much better after the baby is born that I go insane doing so much...then after about 2-3 weeks it catches up with me and I end up back in bed for a few weeks. Really listen to your body though. Stop if you have to and rest when you need to. Your body not only went through labor (a pretty hard one at that) but add to that you having major abdominal surgery too...lots of pokes with needles and lots of chemicals in your body to do all sorts of different things...and the hormone levels coming down from your being pregnant. It's all a whilrwind sometimes and it's easy to get caught up in that...but looking back over the kids I have I really enjoyed and remember more the times we were just relaxing together as a family and not worrying about the house or the dust or the dishes. Invest in paper plates and lots of garbage bags...they are a great time saver and sanity saver for keeping things a bit cleaner.



JoyfulLady -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/8/2008 8:51:37 PM)

Me again with more questions. [8|][:)]

When can I expect my pp bleeding to stop?? It's getting tiring lol. Just when I think it's done it starts up again. the last day or two there has been some bright red. Is this a bad thing, or normal?

When can we resume intercourse? Do I really have to wait 6 weeks? [&o][sm=blush.gif] Are there dangers to not waiting?



PrincessDonna -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/8/2008 9:03:08 PM)

My PP bleeding does turn on and off like that, moreso if I've been doing too much around the house. Have you been behaving?[;)]

Sex...we have never waited more than 2 weeks. We also waited about that long after my abdominal surgery (staples from belly button to pubic bone), so if you think you're ready to try and aren't having bright red bleeding, it should be okay. If you're not sure, talk to your doctor though.



manda59 -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/8/2008 9:11:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JoyfulLady
When can I expect my pp bleeding to stop?? It's getting tiring lol. Just when I think it's done it starts up again. the last day or two there has been some bright red. Is this a bad thing, or normal?


It means that you're overdoing it and need to slow down. By this time the discharge should have gone from paler to paler pink to white or yellow white discharge.

I had really hoped you'd slow down after you last posted here. You're putting yourself at risk by not doing so.

Have you passed any large clots at all? And has there been enough blood to soak a sanitary pad? If so you need to see a doctor right away.

Otherwise you just need to SLOW DOWN and rest more.

quote:


When can we resume intercourse? Do I really have to wait 6 weeks? [&o][sm=blush.gif] Are there dangers to not waiting?


I'd advise waiting at least till the bright red bleeding has stopped (for which you need to SLOW DOWN). Otherwise you risk infection.



JoyfulLady -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/8/2008 10:50:52 PM)

I thought I had slowed down. [:D] I'm really not doing much. I'm not on bedrest, but I'm not just on the go all the time either.
And no, no clots at all. Not enough to soak a pad either. Just like a light to medium period, off and on.



isaacsmom -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/8/2008 11:18:58 PM)

My bleeding was off and on as well for several weeks, both times (5-6). We didn't wait 6 weeks either time. More like 3. [sm=raisedbrows.gif] Like Donna says, if you're not bleeding bright red and you feel ready.



TammyIsBlessed -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/8/2008 11:25:01 PM)

But definitely use the KY jelly at first!!!



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/9/2008 12:10:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TammyIsBlessed

But definitely use the KY jelly at first!!!


Absolutely!

We were "back to normal" within 3 weeks, my stitches weren't even totally dissolved, although everything was pretty fully healed.

I have a question... do you have less pain in the "hooha" after you have a c-section? Or is it still affected by the hormone changes?



I am having my first PP AF[&:] I knew it was coming, but I did not want it to actually happen... well, I did but, ya know. With my period came my first migraine since the first trimester of pregnancy, I'm more upset about that then the cramps I have. Time to pull out my thermometer[;)]



paulsbride -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/9/2008 12:43:22 AM)

[8D] Ok, I'll be the odd one out... we waited till about 6-7 weeks pp. It was tough, seeing as we'd waited so long before hand (me being on bed rest) but really, we tried, and I *was not* ready for it earlier than the 6-7 week mark (*I* was, down there was not!)
SO many women say they resumed sex within 2-4 weeks after having a baby, I struggled with not being able to jump back so quickly... and I think it's important to stand up and say that we waited (hubby was definitely supportive and patient!!) and we survived the wait, and it was just too painful to resume any sooner.
But if you can start sooner, by all means do!



PrincessDonna -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/9/2008 7:36:17 AM)

Jessica, we're all different and our bodies heal differently. I know other people who have waited 6-8 weeks after every baby, so you're not alone. Not everyone will be ready sooner, but there is not a huge reason to wait if you both are ready and are careful.



PrudentWife -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/9/2008 7:53:10 AM)

quote:

I have a question... do you have less pain in the "hooha" after you have a c-section? Or is it still affected by the hormone changes?


I had severe swelling for 24 hours, but that is only because I pushed for 3 hours. But I had no pain or tearing because I never pushed anything out of it. We waited 3 weeks, and it was pretty uncomfortable because my parts had tightened up like they had never been used before. I had never gone that long without activity. I don't know if I had dryness because we always used spermicide.

*******

Amber, I had on & off bleeding for 6 weeks. It would die down to nothing, then get a little heavier. My OB said some women take 3 months to stop bleeding completely. As long as it's not clotty or heavy like a period, you are probably fine. It is annoying bleeding though!! I bought Cottonelle wipes to use during that time so I won't feel icky for 6 weeks strait.



Sideways -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/9/2008 9:01:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: paulsbride

[8D] Ok, I'll be the odd one out... we waited till about 6-7 weeks pp. It was tough, seeing as we'd waited so long before hand (me being on bed rest) but really, we tried, and I *was not* ready for it earlier than the 6-7 week mark (*I* was, down there was not!)
SO many women say they resumed sex within 2-4 weeks after having a baby, I struggled with not being able to jump back so quickly... and I think it's important to stand up and say that we waited (hubby was definitely supportive and patient!!) and we survived the wait, and it was just too painful to resume any sooner.
But if you can start sooner, by all means do!


We waited as well, and I'm not ashamed of it. My husband was also very kind and patient. Even when we did resume intimacy, it was not the same for months and months. Only one position was possible for us for a long while, and I had a lot of pain and dryness.

You have the rest of your martial life to have sex. I don't see why some women would need to pressure themselves into having sex and deal with a newborn.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/9/2008 9:06:14 AM)

quote:

You have the rest of your martial life to have sex. I don't see why some women would need to pressure themselves into having sex and deal with a newborn.


Maybe I'm abnormal, but I wanted that connection almost as much as my husband did. There was no pressure by either of us and he would have waited if I needed him to.



Sideways -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/9/2008 9:12:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna

quote:

You have the rest of your martial life to have sex. I don't see why some women would need to pressure themselves into having sex and deal with a newborn.


Maybe I'm abnormal, but I wanted that connection almost as much as my husband did. There was no pressure by either of us and he would have waited if I needed him to.


And that's fine, Donna. I'm not looking down on those who didn't wait. If you were ready and it presented no physical danger, then I'm glad for you.

But I do believe a lot of women feel pressured into "meeting their husband's needs", before they are physically or emotionally ready.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/9/2008 9:15:51 AM)

Okay, I must have misread what you wrote because I thought you were saying that if people had relations earlier than "recommended", they were feeling pressure to do so.

Some may pressure themselves, and some husbands may put pressure on too. But SOME people are also emotionally and physically ready earlier than 6 weeks, and I think that's perfectly okay.

Amber sounded like she wanted to know when she could, not when she had to.



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/9/2008 9:30:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna

quote:

You have the rest of your martial life to have sex. I don't see why some women would need to pressure themselves into having sex and deal with a newborn.


Maybe I'm abnormal, but I wanted that connection almost as much as my husband did. There was no pressure by either of us and he would have waited if I needed him to.


Your not abnormal, I felt the same way. It also wasn't just a physical need that wanted met, it was emotional.



PrudentWife -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/9/2008 9:39:01 AM)

I would have resumed activity two days later. But we waited 3 weeks until the bleeding was almost done. Every woman is different though. Postpartum is such an emotional time. Some women respond to the emotional upheaval by craving intimacy with their husband, other women respond by needing more recovery time.



JoyfulLady -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/9/2008 9:57:03 AM)

Yeah, to me, resuming relations couldn't come soon enough. [:)] No pressure, I just wanted to, like Donna. [:)]

Ok, good to know others have had loooong on and off bleeding! I guess this is "payback" for 9 months w/o a period. lol!

Ryanne, I have had no pain at all down there. It's the same as ever. I also have not had exceptional dryness.



isaacsmom -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/9/2008 11:07:26 AM)

quote:

I would have resumed activity two days later. But we waited 3 weeks until the bleeding was almost done. Every woman is different though. Postpartum is such an emotional time. Some women respond to the emotional upheaval by craving intimacy with their husband, other women respond by needing more recovery time.


Same here. I wanted to resume asap, but just waited till after bleeding. I missed hubby terribly! Those last several weeks when I'm huge intimacy is nearly impossible, which really gets to me.

quote:

I have a question... do you have less pain in the "hooha" after you have a c-section? Or is it still affected by the hormone changes?


No pain here, either time. Although my PH balance felt off some to me for a few weeks because of the hormones.



Georgia-Peach -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/9/2008 11:31:00 AM)

We were also the oddballs who waited (7-8 weeks) before resuming sexual activity. I am amazed at the women who feel up to it sooner, but I was not up to it. Between nursing around the clock, up during the night, a baby who would only sleep being held, the physical healing, cabin fever, and all the emotions sex was the last thing on my mind. I was plain worn out, but I did take care of husband's needs in other ways (sorry if that is TMI) and didn't leave him completely without during that time.

I do think some women do put pressure on themselves to jump back into the marital bed before they are ready, sometimes I think the husbands pressure them or make them feel guilty. I was blessed because my hubby was very patient and understanding. It wasn't that I didn't want to feel close to him in that way or take care of his needs. It came down to those first few weeks were really rough and I was not about to push myself beyond what I felt I could handle.



clag4christ -> RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) (1/9/2008 11:57:36 AM)

We wait after every baby, not because I'm not ready...but because Joel doesn't feel comfortable until the doctor gives us the 'green light'. After Hannah I was ready about 3-4 weeks after her birth, emotionally. Physically I was still having pain after we resumed at 6 weeks, until I was like 6 months ppd...but I did have 2nd degree tearing with her internally because of the vacuum extraction.

With Jael I was ready 3 days after delivery...and I even had the green light by the doctor at my 4 week check (instead of a 6 week check) and we still waited until about 6 weeks because my sweet Joel was worried he'd hurt me. [:)]



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>



Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition 2.5 ANSI