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HELP - rogue toilet paper. - 11/28/2007 9:08:56 AM
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Kerrlaw
Posts: 9526
Joined: 5/24/2006
From: Big Orange Country
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I need advice.
In my bathroom at work there is a (seemingly typical and benign) toilet paper holder. Today I tore off a small strip of paper (to blow my nose, but that is not relevant).
When I next went in the bathroom, I was shocked to see that the entire roll of paper had unrolled into the floor.
What's more, I had actually witnessed the phenomenon two days earlier. I watched as most of a roll of paper pile up in the floor as the spindle spun furiously, of it's own accord.
This raises several questions:
1. Has this happened to anyone else?
2. Is my bathroom (or at least my TP holder), haunted?
3. Is it a sign or omen of some sort?
4. Could it be related to the recent death of Mr. Whipple?
5. Is the paper safe to use?
The paper was heavy duty Charmin. You may be aware that Charmin has changed their "regular" paper to heavy duty, probably to make a clear distnction from their "ultra-soft". We have been conducting a comparison test at our house (ultra-soft is the winner).
I know that you are all busy, but this is weighing on my mind, so your help is appreciated.
_____________________________
That which does not kill us makes us fatter. ~ crankius
I forgot, Mike is always right. ~ qtman
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RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. - 11/28/2007 1:10:16 PM
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Ps103
Posts: 11536
Joined: 4/16/2005
From: Here, now
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Use Scott toilet paper like God intended.
It's when you get into that fancy pagan stuff that trouble starts, as you have already discovered.
I would get all of that Charmin stuff out of my house immediately!
_____________________________
Fasten your seatbelts...it's going to be a bumpy night.
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[Deleted] - 11/28/2007 2:30:45 PM
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Deleted User
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[Deleted by Admins]
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RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. - 11/28/2007 2:50:31 PM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 10887
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
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The whole problem lies with the fact that each and every time you leave that roll unattended it is rebelling because it knows it is supposed to be left in the arrow shape. (There was a whole thread about that fact somewhere in these threads not too long ago.)
Do your homework and find a pattern and never leave the premises without folding the end piece appropriately. Problem solved. Youareverywelcome.
_____________________________
We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. - 11/28/2007 7:29:17 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26689
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
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I think we should keep taking swipes at this until we get to the bottom of it.
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RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. - 11/28/2007 8:15:49 PM
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CoeurdeLeon
Posts: 8997
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
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It isn't the brand. TP in and of itself is not sinful. However, the condition of your heart when you place the TP on the holder is of the utmost importance. Man sees the brand but God sees the heart. If you'd change your evil ways and put it on the right way (which would be the opposite of the way you have it now) you would not have these manifestations occurring and you could sleep the sleep of the Righteous.
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It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!
9.7.08
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RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. - 11/28/2007 10:56:31 PM
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utilityfielder
Posts: 13119
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Home of the Champions
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PrudentWife
Set up a hidden camera in the bathroom to catch the TP misbehaving. Then submit it to Funniest Home Videos, Charmin, or whatever company you think might pay you for the footage. Invest the money in one of these.
When my cats were younger and prone to play with the TP, I did not have to buy some fancy-smancy TP guard. I used a rubber band.
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Avatar courtesy of BeckeyZ
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RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. - 11/28/2007 11:32:25 PM
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Kath
Posts: 16986
Joined: 2/28/2005
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quote:
The paper was heavy duty Charmin. You may be aware that Charmin has changed their "regular" paper to heavy duty, probably to make a clear distnction from their "ultra-soft". We have been conducting a comparison test at our house (ultra-soft is the winner).
I use the lotion one, I really like it. I even take it with me when I travel.
1. Has this happened to anyone else?
YES!
2. Is my bathroom (or at least my TP holder), haunted?
3. Is it a sign or omen of some sort?
I don't believe in that stuff. If I did I'd tell you to call that guy that talks to dead people, something Edwards.
4. Could it be related to the recent death of Mr. Whipple?
That was my first thought. but then I'd have to believe in questions 2 and 3 and I don't.
5. Is the paper safe to use?
You mean after you've futilely tried to roll it back on, with all the dust and hair that is on the bathroom floor? No, I'd not use it. Just thinking about it gives me the heeby jeebies.
Go buy a new roller. Maybe one of those nice scented ones.
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RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. - 11/28/2007 11:36:18 PM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3200
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
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Heck, if I was a roll TP and realized what my lot in life was, I'd try to commit suicide by throwing myself on the floor too. It's just trying to escape a fate worse than death...can you blame it?
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~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. - 11/29/2007 12:05:22 AM
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believeinhim2
Posts: 605
Joined: 7/24/2007
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This very thing is why the TP must come off the top of the roll instead of the bottom!!!!!
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~mandi~
myspace
Give ear to my words, O LORD, consider my meditation. 2 Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my King, and my God: for unto thee will I pray. Ps5:1-2
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RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. - 11/29/2007 11:47:59 AM
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monamie
Posts: 1336
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: OK
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I'm sorry, but I have to ask---what's a "tther"? I feel like I'm missing out on something important.
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"Lots of respectable people have been hit by trains."
Penny Wharvey McGill
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RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. - 11/29/2007 12:01:36 PM
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.Pammy
Posts: 4110
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Mechanicsburg, PA, USA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: monamie
I'm sorry, but I have to ask---what's a "tther"? I feel like I'm missing out on something important.
So glad you asked, Mona. I don't know either, and I just figured everybody knew but me!
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Pam
<< The Wedding Arch at The Hemingway Home in Key West
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RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. - 11/29/2007 12:26:05 PM
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uncabeeil
Posts: 5776
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Joisey. Got a problem wit dat?
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And me.
Maybe if you said thank you to it for sacrificing its life to make yours more comfortable it would repent from its wanton rebellious ways.
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Confusion reigns, but it shall be conquered. - Damien Spinelli
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RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. - 11/29/2007 12:28:12 PM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 10887
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
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Aw pshaw to you folks who don't know what a "tther" is.
It's the arrow you make on the end of the roll. 
_____________________________
We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. - 11/29/2007 12:30:04 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26689
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
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There's an arrow we have to make?
Man, I must really be a hick.
And now we have to give thanks to toilet paper?
You big city folks and y'all's way.
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RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. - 11/29/2007 12:32:25 PM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 10887
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
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Did I leave that door open again? 
_____________________________
We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: HELP - rogue toilet paper. - 11/29/2007 12:42:46 PM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3200
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
Status: offline
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quote:
what's a "tther"?
Toilet Tissue Hellion'er?
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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