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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the Worst Single Cliches? - 7/25/2005 11:40:49 AM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4396
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Indiexas :P
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quote:
Personally, I think people put too much stock in God when it comes to this kind of thing.
I'd rather put too much stock into God than too much stock into myself....
I did go out and find my "perfect" mate.... twice!!!  
Never again.... God's got my guy... and he's gonna find me. I trust God completely for this....
In the meantime... I'm having a fantastic time just being me, and living life to the fullest.
... and if my guy never shows up? No worries! I haven't missed out on a thing!
I'd rather have a ton of true friends than be hooked up with a guy that I picked out!!! 
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the Worst Single Cliches? - 7/25/2005 12:21:36 PM
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someguy
Posts: 32
Joined: 5/5/2005
From: Huntsville, AL
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: neuronstatic
quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamsofrealism
Personally, I think people put too much stock in God when it comes to this kind of thing. You know, you have a problem, and their only answer is "God will provide" as if God was the ONLY answer.' Or another one "Pray about it!" Well, Yeah I pray about it, but it doesn't accomplish the mission. LOL
As far as getting mate, one thing, the OTHER party has to be interested in ya....God can't make that person like ya. LOL
Apparently, I guess some Christians believe that God is responsible for the decisions that THEY make, when it was really THEM that made the decision.
Uhhhhhh..... No.... I disagree. There are some fundamental issues I have with what you just said. But I am NOT getting sucked into this one today. I have to fly out today for a meeting. There is another thread here. Someone else will have to take this.
I agree... deserves a separate thread. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
_____________________________
Curtis
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"The church is not a society of the successful. It is a fellowship of the forgiven." -- Rober Munger
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the Worst Single Cliches? - 7/25/2005 1:42:04 PM
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babbred
Posts: 697
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quote:
ORIGINAL: someguy
quote:
ORIGINAL: neuronstatic
quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamsofrealism
Personally, I think people put too much stock in God when it comes to this kind of thing. You know, you have a problem, and their only answer is "God will provide" as if God was the ONLY answer.' Or another one "Pray about it!" Well, Yeah I pray about it, but it doesn't accomplish the mission. LOL
As far as getting mate, one thing, the OTHER party has to be interested in ya....God can't make that person like ya. LOL
Apparently, I guess some Christians believe that God is responsible for the decisions that THEY make, when it was really THEM that made the decision.
Uhhhhhh..... No.... I disagree. There are some fundamental issues I have with what you just said. But I am NOT getting sucked into this one today. I have to fly out today for a meeting. There is another thread here. Someone else will have to take this.
I agree... deserves a separate thread. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
I know people who were just friends until "God opened their eyes" and they fell in love with each other, so I'm not discounting the "just wait until God reveals him/her" method. However, I think those who believe in that method should be careful not to look down their noses at those who don't. DH and I met through a Christian online dating agency, so I believe God is big enough to use all sorts of methods to bring people together.
_____________________________
There's nothing better than a good friend, unless it's a good friend with chocolate.
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the Worst Single Cliches? - 7/25/2005 1:54:54 PM
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qtpuh2tme
Posts: 15
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Ok y'all . . . you've got your new thread - entitled, "Those who will not work will not eat." ~:0)
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the Worst Single Cliches? - 7/25/2005 1:57:27 PM
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someguy
Posts: 32
Joined: 5/5/2005
From: Huntsville, AL
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: babbred
I know people who were just friends until "God opened their eyes" and they fell in love with each other, so I'm not discounting the "just wait until God reveals him/her" method. However, I think those who believe in that method should be careful not to look down their noses at those who don't. DH and I met through a Christian online dating agency, so I believe God is big enough to use all sorts of methods to bring people together.
Just so everyone is clear I agreed to the fact that another thread was/is needed. I didn't agree with dreamsofrealism or neuronstatic. I would have started the thread but my threads seem to die quick so I figured it would be best to let someone else start the thread. 
I won’t thumb my nose (or look down my nose) at someone because he/she has views different than myself. I may feel free to express my opinion but I won't look down on him/her.
_____________________________
Curtis
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"The church is not a society of the successful. It is a fellowship of the forgiven." -- Rober Munger
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the Worst Single Cliches? - 7/25/2005 3:49:42 PM
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UltimateVol
Posts: 74
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: God's Country
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I just love it when, especially after first meeting people and they find out you're not married, never been married and don't have kids, they either ask you "Why" or assume you don't want to get married. It's almost better in some people's minds to have been married before than never to have been married at all - at least when you're older.
I also love it when they assume you have so much more free time because you don't have family obligations. My fave though is when you seem invisible because most everyone is either coupled off or very young.
Everyone's right about the kids too - I teach smaller children in Sunday School and they find it strange that I don't have a husband and kids.
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the Worst Single Cliches? - 7/25/2005 3:58:02 PM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4396
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Indiexas :P
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quote:
ORIGINAL: UltimateVol
My fave though is when you seem invisible because most everyone is either coupled off or very young.
Invisible...... like not getting to eat at the grown-up table during carry-ins?  
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the Worst Single Cliches? - 7/25/2005 7:50:41 PM
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zoey
Posts: 483
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Buckle
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quote:
Invisible...... like not getting to eat at the grown-up table during carry-ins?
OH MY WORD!!!!!!! I have a funny story about that... When I was getting my credentials with my denomination, a friend of mine (another single female) and I had to attend a couple of sectional meetings and then attend at least one of the lunches afterward. So, we put it off until the second sectional meeting. Here we are, two single females in a crowd of married couples with their small children. Guess who got relegated to the kiddie table? We were so mad. We ate our lunch, talked with the kiddies, then split. They never asked why we left so early, but six years later, they still don't get why I don't come to anything any more...
~Zoey
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the Worst Single Cliches? - 7/25/2005 11:25:16 PM
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SciFiGirl
Posts: 1029
Joined: 6/7/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: babbred
The one I hated the most was "God still needs to work on you." Grrrrr. In my church, there were so many couples who admitted they'd been immature when they married, had rushed things, made so many mistakes "but God has been with us and now we've been married for 20+ years!" It really hurt since my parents fell in this category, too! Well, excuse me, if God allowed you to get married when you weren't ready, then why is He waiting on me???
And it's so funny, because when DH and I first became friends, I was going through a terrible time in my personal life. He actually saw me at my worst and still fell in love with me! So much for the theory that you need to be perfect before your spouse will come along. 
WOW. Thanks for sharing this post. I can totally relate to how you felt about "God still needs to work on you." In some ways I think I was "spiritually stronger" so to speak 5 years ago than I am now so, I guess if that cliche was true then God would've married me off 5 years ago... LOL!
And I like the story about you and your DH. It can be hard to be authentic around people cuz you think if they know you're going thru a tough time, they won't want to be around you. I was very "real" with one of my guy friends recently and I thought he wouldn't want to talk to me anymore, but he was a real sweetheart about what I told him. So yeah, hard as it can be, authenticity is so important!
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the Worst Single Cliches? - 7/25/2005 11:31:04 PM
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zoey
Posts: 483
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Buckle
Status: offline
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I wanted to verbally filet the guy. He was my sectional rep at the time...
~Zoey
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the Worst Single Cliches? - 7/26/2005 1:08:36 AM
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neuronstatic
Posts: 1234
Joined: 7/14/2005
From: North Carolina!
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamsofrealism
Personally, I think people put too much stock in God when it comes to this kind of thing. You know, you have a problem, and their only answer is "God will provide" as if God was the ONLY answer.' Or another one "Pray about it!" Well, Yeah I pray about it, but it doesn't accomplish the mission. LOL
As far as getting mate, one thing, the OTHER party has to be interested in ya....God can't make that person like ya. LOL
Apparently, I guess some Christians believe that God is responsible for the decisions that THEY make, when it was really THEM that made the decision.
Ok, I am home, its kind of late, but I still want to go out on a limb, possibly alienating myself.
You said "people put too much stock in God when it comes to this kind of thing." And you said "as if God as the ONLY answer". And then you said "God can't make that person like ya". Let me address those first.
I really hope you did not mean the implications of those statements. You just made it sound like you believe there is some power in the universe in ADDITION to God, that God is not the ultimate, omnipotent God of creation. I am curious, do you really believe that there are limits to God's power and control over the universe, and thus individuals? He says clearly He is the ultimate power, the beginning and the end, and that "no man can stay His hand".
Now let me turn my attention to your statement where you said "I guess some Christians believe that God is responsible for the decisions that THEY make, when it was really THEM that made the decision."
I don't want to bring up the eternal debate of free will. It hasn't been solved for thousands of years. We will not solve it in this thread. So I will just address something I think most Christians can agree on. While we live our lives and make choices each day that affect what we do and who we are, let us never forget that we are less then insignificant when it comes to the supreme power and authority of God. I may make decisions about who I date and who I do not date. But I should never once delude myself into thinking I really understand how God runs the universe. To quote someone more intelligent than myself, "God does not play dice wiith the universe". And to quote the scriptures, God moves all things "for the good of those who love him" and He does all things "according to the purpose and intention of His own will".
I don't mean to be touchy on this, but it struck me as sounding very "humanistic" in that it diminishes God and elevates man. Something which is a sore spot with me.
I apologize if I have misinterpreted what you meant. I have said my bit, and I can let it go now. Thanks for the indulgence.
_____________________________
Click here for an example of God blessing a man with a second chance at marriage in a new wife.
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the Worst Single Cliches? - 7/26/2005 1:19:02 AM
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reptar
Posts: 43
Joined: 6/9/2005
Status: offline
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how about when you're a third wheel and the couple starts making out in front you, wrestling and making loud kissy and giggly noises.
and how about couples (bf/gf) that consider themselves 'one' when splitting bills and such with you. so irritating.
quote:
quote:
Invisible...... like not getting to eat at the grown-up table during carry-ins?
OH MY WORD!!!!!!!
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the Worst Single Cliches? - 7/26/2005 2:16:43 AM
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SciFiGirl
Posts: 1029
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sundae
how about when you're a third wheel and the couple starts making out in front you, wrestling and making loud kissy and giggly noises.
OH MY sundae that is HORRIBLE!!!!!!! Yuck yuck yuck yuck. What did you do? Did you say something?
And neuronstatic, I just want to say that 40 is NOT old. Don't let anyone make you think that either!!
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the Worst Single Cliches? - 7/26/2005 3:18:22 AM
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chemdude77
Posts: 372
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Here to Eternity!
Status: offline
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He is 69, and you are 40?!  I realize that people mean well when they play matchmaker. Well-intentioned, but remember, advice is sometimes worth what you pay for it, but usually worth alot less
You are NOT OLD!! Cultivate relationships with people that are uplifting, encouraging, thoughtful, and positive.
A Jamaican friend of mine was the only non-white in her singles group. No one asked her out or even tried to match her up with anyone. Until a gentlemen showed up at the group, and he happened to be African American. Within the hour, two different people in the singles leadership were trying to match her up. They told her that she had alot in common with the newcomer, even though they did not know the man. They could not tell her anything about the man, except that he was tall and black. She was justifiably offended.
quote:
This reminded me of something. After my ex literally walked out of the house, it was very hard. I was talking to one of my church friends about it. He suggested that I "should get to know John Doe (name withheld) better, you two have a lot in common, he is adjusting to life without his wife too."
John is about 30 years older than me, and his wife died after a long struggle with cancer. They had a long loving marriage.
I said "sure", and then sat and thought about the implications. I am being treated "old". I wonder if that has something to do with why no one has asked me about participating in the singles group? I didn't like the way it made me feel, kind of, inconsequential (one of my turnoffs). Well maybe I am old. I will be 40 in a few months. Maybe I should start to accept that. I just don't feel old.
_____________________________
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. .---Groucho Marx
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the Worst Single Cliches? - 7/26/2005 5:54:11 AM
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babbred
Posts: 697
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: UltimateVol
I just love it when, especially after first meeting people and they find out you're not married, never been married and don't have kids, they either ask you "Why" or assume you don't want to get married. It's almost better in some people's minds to have been married before than never to have been married at all - at least when you're older.
Oh, my goodness, when I first joined my church's singles' group years ago, we had several divorced people in it. After a while I actually wished I was one of them instead of never married! I just felt so weird. In a conservative church where most of the couples had gotten married between 19-21, I felt like the proverbial sore thumb since I was in my late 20's and still not married. I wished that I had the "respectability" of at least having been married, even if it broke up. I can't believe that I had that attitude. 
quote:
I also love it when they assume you have so much more free time because you don't have family obligations. My fave though is when you seem invisible because most everyone is either coupled off or very young.
Once the singles' group was meeting in the church parking lot to carpool to an outing. While we waited, I started chatting with the class secretary, a fellow never married. Over at the church activity center, the annual father/daughter banquet was going on. She glanced over there, then told me, "We were supposed to be there tonight." When I asked what she meant, she rolled her eyes said, "The deacons approached me and asked if our class would be willing to serve at the banquet tonight. I had to stand up for us and say no, we had an activity planned." From her tone of voice, I could tell the deacons had probably had the attitude of "Hey, you're single, so what have you got to do on a Saturday night?"
quote:
Everyone's right about the kids too - I teach smaller children in Sunday School and they find it strange that I don't have a husband and kids.
Speaking of kids, I'll never forget this. One Sunday our SS teacher was exhorting us to get more involved in the church. "Why not help out with the youth group? You could set a positive example of how to live a Christian single life." One guy said, "But they don't want us to help out with the youth." Our teacher was completely befuddled, so the guy continued. "Trust me, those parents don't want us near their kids. They want their kids to get married as soon as possible, preferably right out of college or even to forgo college to get married. They don't want us, people in our 30's and 40's but not married, around the kids to show that sometimes that doesn't always happen. " I don't know if it was true or not, but I've often wondered.
_____________________________
There's nothing better than a good friend, unless it's a good friend with chocolate.
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the Worst Single Cliches? - 7/26/2005 12:20:38 PM
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wvugrad
Posts: 13
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Not part of Virginia
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Some more experiences in this topic. I was visiting my parents (3 hours away) over the weekend and attended their church with them on Sunday. My Mom was telling me about how people at their church (who I hardly know and they hardly know me) are always asking her if I am married yet and why not?
Finally she told some of them "It's her life, not mine, and she lives it."
_____________________________
HAIL WEST VIRGINIA
LET'S GO MOUNTAINEERS!
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the Worst Single Cliches? - 7/26/2005 2:58:16 PM
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neuronstatic
Posts: 1234
Joined: 7/14/2005
From: North Carolina!
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Shaunii
I just wanted to add to the email addressing God being ultimate ...
Psalms 37:23 - The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.
To me though I may not know what I'll choose to do God already does so He knows when wehere and IF I'm every REALLY going to get married and have children because He has ordered my steps.
The Word of God is Truth and every man a lie.
Amen.
_____________________________
Click here for an example of God blessing a man with a second chance at marriage in a new wife.
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the Worst Single Cliches? - 7/26/2005 3:57:08 PM
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1st2blvd
Posts: 1
Joined: 7/26/2005
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[image][/image]Just wanted to applaude you on your bold faith in our God's abilities.
He cares so much for each of you...that has numbered the hairs on your head. He understands rejection and lonelyness, along with passionately loving his bride and desiring her to give herself completely to Him. He is jealous of any thought or action that comes before Him. If you are His, and called by His name, you should take the time to get to know this God that holds your heart so dear to His own.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.
When I get gripey...I am reminded of the Israelites in the desert, a road trip that should have taken a week, took them 40 years, Even though God continued to provide their needs...some did not enter into the promised land. Yes he is a miracle working God, still today, (the same yesterday, today and tomorrow for he changeth not), but it is faith that pleases Him.
My God is well able to do above anything I could ever ask or think!! Amen.
Father, I pray that you would touch each heart as they read this, and that they would know that You are near and care so very much about everything that concerns them.
quote:
ORIGINAL: neuronstatic
quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamsofrealism
Personally, I think people put too much stock in God when it comes to this kind of thing. You know, you have a problem, and their only answer is "God will provide" as if God was the ONLY answer.' Or another one "Pray about it!" Well, Yeah I pray about it, but it doesn't accomplish the mission. LOL
As far as getting mate, one thing, the OTHER party has to be interested in ya....God can't make that person like ya. LOL
Apparently, I guess some Christians believe that God is responsible for the decisions that THEY make, when it was really THEM that made the decision.
Ok, I am home, its kind of late, but I still want to go out on a limb, possibly alienating myself.
You said "people put too much stock in God when it comes to this kind of thing." And you said "as if God as the ONLY answer". And then you said "God can't make that person like ya". Let me address those first.
I really hope you did not mean the implications of those statements. You just made it sound like you believe there is some power in the universe in ADDITION to God, that God is not the ultimate, omnipotent God of creation. I am curious, do you really believe that there are limits to God's power and control over the universe, and thus individuals? He says clearly He is the ultimate power, the beginning and the end, and that "no man can stay His hand".
Now let me turn my attention to your statement where you said "I guess some Christians believe that God is responsible for the decisions that THEY make, when it was really THEM that made the decision."
I don't want to bring up the eternal debate of free will. It hasn't been solved for thousands of years. We will not solve it in this thread. So I will just address something I think most Christians can agree on. While we live our lives and make choices each day that affect what we do and who we are, let us never forget that we are less then insignificant when it comes to the supreme power and authority of God. I may make decisions about who I date and who I do not date. But I should never once delude myself into thinking I really understand how God runs the universe. To quote someone more intelligent than myself, "God does not play dice wiith the universe". And to quote the scriptures, God moves all things "for the good of those who love him" and He does all things "according to the purpose and intention of His own will".
I don't mean to be touchy on this, but it struck me as sounding very "humanistic" in that it diminishes God and elevates man. Something which is a sore spot with me.
I apologize if I have misinterpreted what you meant. I have said my bit, and I can let it go now. Thanks for the indulgence.
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