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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/13/2008 11:18:54 PM
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NotDoneYet
Posts: 209
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: Virginia
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: momma_bee
I thought a mental health day was a day that you take to recharge yourself. I was planning on using a vacation to do that. I had a friend who worked for a different gov't agency than my hubby and she said that if she called work and said she was sick of so-n-so's crud and wasn't coming in, it counted as a sick day.
I can't say what disease I have when I call in for a mental health day...but my boss is cool about it. We also have flex time so we can take a day off during the week and make the time up.
I'm planning a mental health afternoon with some friends soon...it's already on the calendar. I can't wait :)
NDY
_____________________________
Remember, normal is just a setting on the dryer!
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/15/2008 12:25:41 AM
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4lilMonkies
Posts: 551
Joined: 9/14/2005
From: Home is where the heart is.
Status: offline
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HERE is how we spent our day. Since the kids hardly see us during the week, we wanted to give them a special treat. We went to Chuckie Cheese. We all had a BLAST!!!
I hope the link works. If you get a whole page of pictures, scroll down to the bottom to like the last 3 1/2 lines. Those pics are from today.
PM me for the guest password.
_____________________________
--Nicole--
"Riding the roller coaster in which our children send us on" Lori Meyer
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/15/2008 10:36:26 AM
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momma_bee
Posts: 1671
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
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We have no power at home because of the wind that Ike brought us.
I came to work anyhow.
But, I left 3 hampers of clothes at home that were in the dryers at the laundrymat when the lights went out.
It is 'shutdown' or 'turnaround' at the plant for the next two weeks. You know, turn things off so you can do major repairs / upgrades.
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/15/2008 10:25:50 PM
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daughter_of_faith
Posts: 844
Joined: 1/10/2008
From: Great Plains, Kansas
Status: offline
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Well, I've gotten through what has to be my busiest week of the year. At least I hope so! I had my evaluation today (not sure how many more of those I have).
I'm still puzzled by this: two co-workers have told me that they are having their evaluations on the 24th (next Wednesday). The one knew about it on Friday (and for however many days before then). Me...I found out about mine a week ago.
Oh well...it's over now, but I think I have more since this is my first year in this district.
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/16/2008 2:22:42 PM
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LaurainAL
Posts: 285
Joined: 8/13/2005
Status: offline
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My mental health day turned into a five day weekend. I've had a stomach virus for the past few days. YUCK. I'll be back to work tomorrow and can't imagine how long it will take me do dig out.
_____________________________
Life Trumps Choice
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/16/2008 5:50:52 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 3402
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
Status: offline
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I wouldn't decide until he's home and you've tried out the being home routine for a couple weeks. No need to block yourself into something now, ya know? Maybe until the end of flu season?
I went back to work when Gabby was 2.5-3 weeks old, and I worked until she was 6ish months old. I just went back and she's now a year old. 6 months at home was good for us, I think, even if I went a bit stir crazy at times. I liked being at home, but I also like working... I'm sure what we do will fluctuate throughout the years but that is also ok...
_____________________________
Ryanne- trying hard to be my husband's girlfriend and my daughter's mother.
I'll keep my guns, freedom, and money- you can keep "the change."
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/17/2008 1:15:44 AM
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sisrev
Posts: 436
Joined: 8/7/2006
From: The South, ya'll
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mrs.Wifey
I liked being at home, but I also like working... I'm sure what we do will fluctuate throughout the years but that is also ok...
This is what I did, and will probably still do. I went back to work when my son was about 7 months old--DH was about to leave the military and we needed steady income while he looked for work and we sort of "re-established" ourselves. I quit working full-time when DS was in Kindergarten or 1st grade--I wanted him to be able to have summers and time off from school at home. I worked some part-time off & on at my old job--they would call me when they were short-handed or someone was on vacation, etc., and I worked at our church 1-2 days a week in the office part of that time. I went back to work fulltime again when DS was in 4th grade out of finanical necessity. Stayed 2 years, quit that job because I was miserable there, stayed home a year, went back to work full-time (again out of necessity). I quit my job two months ago to re-locate, intending to job-hunt when I got here, but DH & I have figured that I can stay home for a while as long as we are careful about spending, etc. Our son is in college, so I will probably have to go back to work in a few months, but I am enjoying the rest for now.
When my son was small, if I was working I felt guilty, at times, that I wasn't able to do all the things at home that I thought I should, or that I wanted to do. When I wasn't working, I felt guilty that we couldn't afford to give him the things & experiences that other kids he knew had.
I think mommy guilt is just a part of the territory, whether you stay at home or work outside the home. You will never meet everyone's expectations, even your own, all of the time. Love your kids and do the best you can for them, pray for them, and trust the Lord to take care of them and guide you in the choices you make.
_____________________________
A Virtuous Woman
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/17/2008 6:18:09 AM
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Sideways
Posts: 3364
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mrs.Wifey
I liked being at home, but I also like working... I'm sure what we do will fluctuate throughout the years but that is also ok...
I've had several different types of jobs through the years, and how much I liked working depended greatly on the job. Half my working life was commercial design work, half was energy auditing, in more of a consultant role. Raw design experience is very important, but I enjoyed the energy auditing so much more. There's a lot of baggage that comes with commercial design, and a lot of headaches and stress. The actual design part is fine; it's dealing with contractors, owners, and other morons who keep us up at night.
If I don't have to return to work, then I'm going to be a bit more picky about which job I return to. No sense in getting an extra paycheck if mom is stressed out and miserable. Other engineers handle the stress better then I do, but I do know which type of job makes me happier. Of course, auditing usually requires some travel, but no situation is perfect.
Laura, I hope you are feeling better today, and that work goes a little easy on you!
_____________________________
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. If you see a crocodile, don't forget to scream.
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/17/2008 7:33:11 AM
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momma_bee
Posts: 1671
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
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You're an engineer! Too Cool. I am the psudeo-draftsman in my office.
I have noticed working here and in a prior office that most of my co-workers brains work the same way. You have to be more analytical and it creeps into non-work things. The funniest thing I have every seen here was 2-3 engineers trying to get a soda bottle unstuck. They would stare at it, put their money in and try a slot to get the bottle to knock the other free. It is the image of one, with his head tipped to one side, trying to predict how to hit it that stays in my mind.
They had it wedged in there pretty good by the next day - I would have just swung my hip at it if it was my bottle. 
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/18/2008 2:06:09 AM
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4lilMonkies
Posts: 551
Joined: 9/14/2005
From: Home is where the heart is.
Status: offline
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quote:
I think mommy guilt is just a part of the territory, whether you stay at home or work outside the home. You will never meet everyone's expectations, even your own, all of the time. Love your kids and do the best you can for them, pray for them, and trust the Lord to take care of them and guide you in the choices you make.
Too true, too true.
_____________________________
--Nicole--
"Riding the roller coaster in which our children send us on" Lori Meyer
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/19/2008 5:02:49 AM
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feesha
Posts: 28
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline
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Hi, just popping in to ask a quick question. I'm starting a part-time job on Monday. It's only 4 hours a day mon-thurs. I've been at home with my son since birth and am really nervous about my parents watching him on a daily basis.
I trust my parents but I feel like since I'm their daughter they don't respect my wishes as a mom. I feel like my mom tries to be my son's mom. Sometimes she'll accidentally refer to herself and my dad as "mom and dad".
Anyway, my parents would only watch my son for half an hour at the least to an hour and a half at the most (rare) until my DH gets there to pick up my son. My parents would prefer to watch him indefinitely. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for their help but I don't want my son to forget who his momma is. I also want my DH to bond with my son. I'm worried that my parents will make it difficult for my DH to pick up my son and give him a hard time for not letting them keep him longer.
I know I should just relax and let this be but I can't sleep for the 2nd night over it. I'm so happy to have a job again but I wish child-care wasn't such an issue.
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/19/2008 8:51:38 AM
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momma_bee
Posts: 1671
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
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Prayer request for Lane
Sorry for the hit and run post - the request took too long to type.
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/19/2008 8:59:25 AM
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landabee
Posts: 1860
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Central Florida
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: feesha
Hi, just popping in to ask a quick question. I'm starting a part-time job on Monday. It's only 4 hours a day mon-thurs. I've been at home with my son since birth and am really nervous about my parents watching him on a daily basis.
Hi feesha! How old is your son?
quote:
I trust my parents but I feel like since I'm their daughter they don't respect my wishes as a mom. I feel like my mom tries to be my son's mom. Sometimes she'll accidentally refer to herself and my dad as "mom and dad".
Unacceptable. Are you sure it is accidental? If it is, fine.......but if it isn't, that is a boundary warning.
quote:
Anyway, my parents would only watch my son for half an hour at the least to an hour and a half at the most (rare) until my DH gets there to pick up my son.
My parents would prefer to watch him indefinitely.
Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for their help but I don't want my son to forget who his momma is. I also want my DH to bond with my son. I'm worried that my parents will make it difficult for my DH to pick up my son and give him a hard time for not letting them keep him longer.
I know I should just relax and let this be but I can't sleep for the 2nd night over it. I'm so happy to have a job again but I wish child-care wasn't such an issue.
First, I want to stress that I think grandparents provide a special kind of love to a child. It is invaluable.
Do your parents have ample opportunities to see and be with their grandchild? I mean, do you have regular interaction with them? Because, I cannot tell by just this small conversation if they are really trying to usurp your place---or just really, really want to spend more time with the little guy. KWIM?
If it is the former: then your Momma Intuition is spot on, and you have cause for concern.
If it is the latter: I'd suggest that you purpose to provide ample time for grandbaby loving to them.
Grandparents are a gift from God.
Grandparents without boundaries are not healthy.
Hard to tell which you are dealing with.
Oh and BTW: Your son will not forget you. I promise.  You are the most important person in the world to him. Daddy is a close second. As he gets older the preference will be less pronounced and may even swing the other direction as he self identifies with Daddy, but you will NEVER be forgotten.
Congratulations on your new job. You can do this!
_____________________________
"Sound theology discourages ignorance instead of promoting it." ~ CourdeLeon
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