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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/12/2008 9:44:54 PM
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daughter_of_faith
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As for the high blood pressure...I think it was most likely just because I was really nervous to be there. The nurse had also mentioned having me take a pregnancy test...and well...that thought excites me (of course). But...as far as I know...that wasn't done....so...
I am really hoping that is what it was. When I did some reading, it said that high blood pressure can be a symptom of PCOS (along with some of the other things going on with me). But PCOS is so different for each person that it's really hard to say....
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/15/2008 7:48:42 PM
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daughter_of_faith
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Well, I talked to my mom today. She's a nurse & was rather surprised that they didn't rule out pregnancy first. She thinks with some of the symptoms I am having my problem could be a tubal pregnancy. I'm not really sure. Guess we'll find out on Tuesday.
She said that it could be several other things as well & that an ultrasound would be needed to determine the cause once pregnancy is ruled out. DH keeps saying he thinks I am pregnant because I've been extremely moody. I just keep telling him...it's probably related to hormones (cuz that explains moodiness, right?).
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/16/2008 1:23:54 PM
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pumpkin
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moodiness can also be brought on by a feeling of not knowing what is going on with one's own body... which is pretty much where you are. You are (not you specifically, but in general those who have dealt with that) not able to pinpoint what's going on, you are worried about some of the possibilities out there, you are worried about what they'll have to do to fix things, you are worried about if you will be able to have children, you are worried about the unknown. Now, with that said... try not to worry. =) Worry doesn't change anything, God is in control. =)
I know that sounds "preachy" but it's true. I went through all that, and more when I missed my period for 2 months, and then found out about my miscarriage, and my cyst all in one blow. I was a little freaked out for the 3 months (plus a little) that lapsed between the diagnosis and the surgery. I even had a strong fear that I wasn't going to come out of the surgery alive... but here we are 1 full year later, and I'm still here. =) I normally don't ever fear death, not like I did with the surgery.
I know that for myself, I would be going along just fine, and then *BAM* I'd find myself worried about this or that possibility. It really can sneak up on you, and it really is very stressful to not know what's going on. It's even more stressful when you have other people telling you frightening scenarios.
I hope you don't take what I've said the wrong way... I'm really speaking from my experiences, and not trying to say that you necessarily feel the way I did, but it's something to keep in mind as a possibility.
Also, yes... hormones make you moody. =)
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/16/2008 5:39:44 PM
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not_the_first
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I get really moody when my hormones are changing. I've also been moody lately because we've had a really rough winter. I didn't realize how aweful I have felt pretty much for the past 4 months until this week, when it has been lighter out longer, and warmer. A big cause of my moodiness though is just discontentedness with my life. I want to be a SAHM more than anything and I feel like I keep getting that desire denied. When I contstantly dwell on my reproductive issues/problems and dwell on the fact that we haven't been able to have children when it's been so easy for everyone esle, when I don't know what my body is doing, I get very down, sad...and moody. Not saying that's why you are, but these are all reason I get that way.
I hope the ultrasound will clear up some questions for you. This battle has been the hardest I've ever faced. Sometimes when we talk to people who inquire about us having children, we'll say "oh, we've been trying for a while." There have been few who've said they tried for almost a year, or a little over a year.....and we just think to ourselves....ya it's been longer than that.....it's so frustrating.
I went to a shower this weekend for my husband's cousin. We had lot's of "you're next!" comments.....I just wanted to say - "do you KNOW how many times people have told us that, and we haven't been next? Don't get your hopes up".
I find myself looking at pregnant people lately and thinking - how on earth did they manage to do that? What is their big secret? Then I remember that it is really, pretty simple for most and feel so silly thinking that way.
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/16/2008 5:57:52 PM
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daughter_of_faith
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Yeah, I went to a baby shower yesterday and it was rough. It was for a REALLY good friend of mine...otherwise I probably would have opted out.
She was so blessed by the shower...I only pray half the amount of people turn out for mine....if/when we ever do have children. I do have a son (from my previous relationship)...so I know things HAVE worked in my body....they just aren't right now for whatever reason.
I've had lower abdominal pain, off and on for what seems like forever. Sometimes it is very sharp, other times it is just dull.
I'm trying really hard to be content & not complain. Sarah was in her 90s before she had Isaac. God closed Rachel's womb while Leah's womb was as open as could be. I know God has a plan & His timing...just still trying to work through all of that. God sent Gabriel to Zechariah to tell him that he & his wife would conceive John the Baptist. Zechariah didn't believe. What happened? Zechariah became mute for the next nine months. He couldn't speak until John was born!!!
DH & I have started fervently ASKING God for children. We'll see how that works. We both greatly desire children and have made comments like, "Lord, please bless us with kids...if it's in your will..." But it's like we're trying to tell God how it is or how we think it should be. The Bible says, "Ask and ye shall receive." I realized this the other day because DH & I have been trying to teach our son to ask us for things...rather than demand them. Asking gets him a lot further than being demanding. God wants us to come to Him like children...so.....
Anyway...we'll see how things go on Tuesday. My appt. is at 3:30 PM. I'm rather nervous & pretty curious as to what's going on. As Gina said, I really want to know & there's been some stress in that. What if it's bad news that DH & I won't be able to have bio kids? What if it's good news in that we're already expecting? What if it's something in between? Ie: this is what's going on....we're going to have to do this (medication and/or surgery)...and then you'll be able to have kids. So yeah, there is a lot of anticipation and wondering. I have been talking everything through with God & I have some measure of peace. It's just all of the questions remain...until the doctor hopefully gives me some answers...
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/17/2008 9:25:44 AM
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pumpkin
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David and I have been praying for a baby for a long time. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. =) I think God knows what's in our hearts, and knows how we feel about it, and He wants us to be honest about it. (not saying that you disagree with that) We pray about it a lot. =)
Well, I'm off to work. =) I had last week off, so hopefully today will go well, I feel like I'm just coming off of a vacation.... it was spring break week here, but I was also sick/getting over being sick. =)
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/17/2008 1:59:43 PM
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daughter_of_faith
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Yeah, I know what you mean, Gina. It just makes me wonder why some people have to wait and wait and wait for their little one(s) to come along. And others have NO trouble conceiving.
Only a little more than a day until the ultrasound. I'm a little worried as I don't really know what to expect. That does remind me that I need to call to find out what type of ultrasound it is....or if it's just the regular ultrasound.
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/17/2008 2:18:58 PM
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pumpkin
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they *may* want to start with a "regular" ultrasound, and then if they don't feel that they can see everything clearly, they may want to go to an internal. Neither one is really a big deal... it doesn't hurt unless the person performing it is a bit zealous in how hard they press on things... and it just feels like pressure, or should.
I actually had big bruises and a cut of sorts after an external ultrasound, the person doing it was pressing REALLY hard. I was crying she was pressing so hard. She knew I was crying, and just kept saying "I know it hurts, but just one more minute....." That was awful.
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/17/2008 6:39:57 PM
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daughter_of_faith
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Well, I called the doctor's office & my ultrasound tomorrow is just a regular ultrasound. No special anything...just have to make sure to void once I get there (that's how the office put it, LOL).
So....hope the US solves the mystery of what's going on with my body and that I don't have to go BACK. IDK....my journey with doctor's offices is barely beginning, but it's already getting tiresome.
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/18/2008 12:52:12 PM
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pumpkin
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Megan & Noelle... please let us know how your ultrasounds went. (I think they were both today, right?)
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/18/2008 4:36:01 PM
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daughter_of_faith
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My appointment is at 3:30 PM so I have a couple more nerve-wracking hours to wait (since I live on the West Coast).
I'm not sure what time Noelle's appointment was/is.....
I've been praying for you today, Noelle. Hope things go well for you!
Gina, you're taking Clomid again this cycle, right? Are you feeling better this month? I know last month was pretty rough for you with some of the side effects. Praying for you!!!
(((hugs)))
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/18/2008 8:22:10 PM
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daughter_of_faith
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Well, I have 3 things going on.
1) The endo uterus lining is too thick. The doc is going to do a biopsy next Tuesday to find out why.
2) I have cysts on both ovaries (bilateral PCO as the doc put it).
3) I have a fibroid (on the upper side of my uterus...I believe that's where he said it was).
So...I'm not sure what is going to happen. I cried at the office and I have been crying off and on. The doc also mentioned possibly putting me on birth control to help with the cysts........
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/18/2008 9:31:33 PM
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daughter_of_faith
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My ultrasound was transvaginal as well. I had called and they had said it would be a regular one...but this was different than what I'm used to....
I do NOT want to go on birth control. I was on it years ago and had a bad experience. That experience was 5 lbs a month for the year I was on it (that added up to a 60 lb gain & I'm still stuck with most of it).....with lots of breakthrough bleeding, etc. I would never know when that was going to happen.
Yay for the positive ovulation test, Noelle!!! I'm past that stage of my cycle. We did the BD though....but nothing showed up today...so....probably not this cycle.
I am not sure what having cysts means. I do know that it looked like there were a LOT more on my right side...which is the side that is more painful. It didn't sound like there were other options...at least from what this doctor said...
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/19/2008 9:23:37 AM
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pumpkin
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whatever you do, keep in mind that second opinions can be priceless... they can give you whole other options... even if the options are still things you don't want.
I say that because I was told that my grapefruit sized cyst would have to be removed with regular abdominal surgery. I sought out a second opinion, and was told that yes I would still need surgery, but laparoscopic was what he would do. So, while he agreed with the diagnosis, he had other treatment options than the first. It never hurts to get a second opinion.
I'm sorry that you seem to have so much negative info. Megan.
I know you don't want to do BC, but sometimes a short course of it can alleviate symptoms... and can give your body a little bit of a break, and can allow the cysts and such to go away. (At least that's what I've heard)
Noelle, yay for positive ovulation tests!! =) I don't know how much you know about how the body works, but some cysts are "normal" and will go away on their own, and some cysts won't. Also, I'm surprised that the technician didn't say something like she could tell that you were about to ovulate. They can usually tell on an ultrasound. =)
As for me, well... clomid has caused different symptoms this month... just to be difficult I guess. =) I have had hot flashes, and dizziness, and not as many cramps as last month. Last month was vicious with the cramps. I also started the clomid 2 days later this cycle due to the whole not going to the doctor thing... but I did start on day 5, and so have been off it for a couple of days. I took an OPK last night, because it's the same day in the cycle that the doc. recommended last cycle to start testing, and it was negative. Not even a faint 2nd line, so that was disappointing. I don't know... right now mentally I'm thinking things like... "ok, I started 2 days later, and so I could bump everything back 2 days, and I know I've not had any fertile looking CM, but it was still disappointing to see the negative OPK" So, while I know there are reasons for it, and that it may be too soon, I'm still kinda doubtful that I'll ovulate this month... because it's not like last month, which is crazy I know.
Anyway, gotta go, or I'll be late for work. Especially since I really really really really want to stop and get a bagel today. =)
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/19/2008 12:25:08 PM
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daughter_of_faith
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Completely off topic...but Gina...I hope you got your bagel today!!! Sounds as if you have been craving them!?!?
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/19/2008 4:26:35 PM
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pumpkin
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yes, I got my bagel. =) I don't know what area you girls are from, or if these shops are everywhere or what... but it's Einstein Bros. bagels. They make them fresh, and they are wonderful. I mean, I liked bagels before, but the fresh ones? Oh my gosh are they good... and so many flavors to choose from. I had a chocolate chip bagel w/ plain cream cheese this morning. I allow myself that treat once in a while, and it cheers me up when I decide that I can have one, and actually get one. =)
I did not have an endo biopsy. I don't know what they're like. I do count my blessings with my doctor though, because while he was removing my grapefruit sized cyst he also took a good look around in there, and he said he was surprised by just how good everything there looked. I guess you can't get much closer than what he did, so I am thankful that everything else looked good. I did have a "normal" cyst removed too, since he was in there, and it wasn't serving any purpose. He told me that everyone will have cysts from time to time, and most women don't even really notice them, and that they tend to go away on their own. However, since he was in there, he took it out too.
I know when I've had ultrasounds around the time of ovulation they tend to tell me something along the lines of "well, it looks like either you are just about to ovulate or you just did ovulate" So, I don't know. I would think that they could tell on your ultrasound, but maybe they just didn't say anything about it.
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/19/2008 9:09:10 PM
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daughter_of_faith
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Hmmm, weird that the doc or tech didn't mention something to Noelle. My doc actually did mine...not sure if a doc did Noelles.
The doc hasn't said anything about removing the cysts & I know they do tend to go away as most cysts are just little pockets filled with fluid (right?). So I am unsure about that. I am going to have to ask where the fibroid is though. When I was reading online earlier....a fibroid in the "wrong" place can reduce fertility by 70%. Once it is removed...that fertility is restored! But most fibroids don't have anything to do with conception if they're in the "right" place.
Any thoughts?
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/20/2008 11:19:38 AM
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daughter_of_faith
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I'm a tad confused here....
I decided to research Metformin. Usually it is used in treating Type II diabetes. It is also gaining use for PCOS (guess it helps with the insulin or something). I've had glucose screening tests and they always came back fine (not diabetic in any way). Would the Met still help?
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/20/2008 12:24:38 PM
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pumpkin
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Megan, I don't really know much about that at all. I think that is an excellent question to ask your doctor though. Has he said that he wants to put you on metformin?
another negative for the OPK... not even a second line yet. I hope I'll ovulate this month... I'm starting to worry over that.
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/20/2008 12:46:52 PM
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daughter_of_faith
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The doctor hasn't said that, Gina. But it's a medication that many women with PCOS take...as it helps regulate the hormones (at least that is my understanding?).
As for the OPK, I haven't ever gotten a positive either. The closest I have had was that second faint line. I haven't been using them like I should (ie: I had one that never showed ANYTHING...not even the control line...so I gave up...as I was sick at that time...last month). This month, I was out of town when I should have been using them & I honestly didn't want our love life to be inhibited by test strips. (I feel like it is getting to that anyways....does that make sense?)
I saw a VERY good article on MSN regarding this issue & I was totally interested in reading it (was one of those Her Turn, His Turn, Counselor's Turn...from Ladies' Home Journal). It might be worth reading for those who are struggling to conceive. My husband is kind of like the husband in the article....in that...I know it tears him up that we can't have kids....but it isn't something he discusses. Me, I am like the wife, in that I want to discuss everything about it. I guess I just want to know how far he wants to go with things and how long....before we consider adoption. Do y'all face that discussion (or something similar) with your spouses as well?
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/20/2008 1:15:16 PM
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pumpkin
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do you have a link to the article?
David can/will discuss anything... it just depends on if you really want to get to what HE wants to do. I have a very very hard time sometimes because he sort of wants to know what I think before he'll really say what he thinks, and then sometimes I feel like he is just telling me what he thinks I want to hear. (this is true with anything that is really important to me) When I ask him about this tendency he says that he prefers to defer to me and my preferences because it means more to me than it does to him.... not that he doesn't care, but that he probably already agrees with me, for the most part... and he knows how much things mean to me... and he wants me to be happy.
We talk about things as they come up.. and maybe the next step. We've not truly discussed IUI's in detail. We hadn't really discussed clomid in detail before taking it either. I mean, we discussed it, but then when it was time, THEN we had the discussion about "do we really want to do this?" I don't know, maybe we are a bit funny in that regard, or maybe we are a bit in denial, and don't want to cross any bridges before we actually get to them.
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/20/2008 4:13:22 PM
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PrincessDonna
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quote:
ORIGINAL: daughter_of_faith
I'm a tad confused here....
I decided to research Metformin. Usually it is used in treating Type II diabetes. It is also gaining use for PCOS (guess it helps with the insulin or something). I've had glucose screening tests and they always came back fine (not diabetic in any way). Would the Met still help?
Stepping in as a mod here...
If you ask this question in the TTC that is open to everyone, you are likely to get answers from people who have great personal knowledge in this area. The person I'm thinking of can't post in this thread because she is not currently struggling to conceive.
_____________________________
For I will pour water on the thirsty land,
and streams on the dry ground;
I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring,
and my blessing on your descendants.
~Isaiah 44:3~
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RE: *Struggling* to conceive... - 3/21/2008 11:56:10 AM
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daughter_of_faith
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna
Stepping in as a mod here...
If you ask this question in the TTC that is open to everyone, you are likely to get answers from people who have great personal knowledge in this area. The person I'm thinking of can't post in this thread because she is not currently struggling to conceive.
Thanks, Donna...I received a PM from a lady clearing up most of my confusion. I understand why the individual cannot post in this specific thread. It's just that some of the threads are so closely linked that it's hard to determine where to post what sometimes (usually I go with the thread that has most recently had activity). Hope that makes sense!!!
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. Sometimes it seems so stupid to keep trying, like, what makes us think this cycle will be any different? Why bother? but we are still hopeful that maybe one of these times it will actually work. 
Then I work after that....
