RE: How many children? (Full Version)

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OneOfHisJewels -> RE: How many children? (3/22/2008 11:43:24 PM)

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ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2

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They also have a shirt that says "If nursing in public offends you please feel free to put a blanket over your head" or "As soon as you're ready to eat your lunch in the bathroom I'll breastfeed there." They crack me up and have some great ones at cafepress.com.

ROFLOL!!! Hubby says I need that one about nursing in public!!!



Yeah, remember the big broo ha ha when that one Victoria's Secret store wouldn't let that one lady nurse in their dressing room? Kind of hypocritical when they've made their fortune off of women's anatomy.

I have no problem with women nursing in public, as long as they are discreet about it (blankets, etc). I have been around some women that are a little too careless about how much shows, and that does make me uncomfortable.



momtopjajsjjm -> RE: How many children? (3/23/2008 12:24:03 AM)

We prayed before we were married, and the Lord led us to Psalm 127. We have trusted Him with our family .[:)] He has blessed us with 8 sons-



clag4christ -> RE: How many children? (3/23/2008 5:53:42 PM)

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ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom

[:'(]
We had a family gathering today and two of my uncles did the whole "Wow, you're done now, right?" spiel. One of them put on his "concerned" face and said "You guys really need to slow down!". His reasoning: If we don't stop having babies, we'll be changing diapers for several more years. [8|] They ganged up on dh and told him all the terrible things about raising children and how miserable he will be when ours get bigger, and how much money he'll be shelling out for "necessities" (like 2 sports each). [:@]

On the flip side of that, all my baby-loving relatives kept saying "When's the next one? Are you pregnant yet? You sure you're not pregnant?". At this point, I'm pretty sure I'm still just plain old fat. [8D]



I had one of those moments at church today. We were in the nursery (Hannah & Jael and me) and the other woman in there said to me, "So they must keep you busy now?" I wasn't sure how to respond. It seems to me when people say stuff like that they're looking for someone to 'share their misery'. But I am not miserable! I suppose they keep me busy...but not in a bad way. And it's not like I don't have time for myself during the day. [8|]



Sideways -> RE: How many children? (3/23/2008 6:47:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: clag4christ
I had one of those moments at church today. We were in the nursery (Hannah & Jael and me) and the other woman in there said to me, "So they must keep you busy now?" I wasn't sure how to respond. It seems to me when people say stuff like that they're looking for someone to 'share their misery'.


You can choose to take it that way, but I think you might be a little sensitive. I think some people whose views are outside the mainstream are automatically on the defensive.

Sometimes people ask those kind of questions as an ice breaker of sorts. Not because they think that you're miserable, but almost as an opening to share humorous stories. Perhaps I would choose to tell her about how Nathan has learned some new skill.

If I see a woman with four or five kids, I might ask her how she does it, not because I believe a large family is bad in any way, but because I am genuinely curious how she manages certain things, when I often have my hands full with one toddler (whom I love more than life itself).



clag4christ -> RE: How many children? (3/23/2008 11:44:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sideways

quote:

ORIGINAL: clag4christ
I had one of those moments at church today. We were in the nursery (Hannah & Jael and me) and the other woman in there said to me, "So they must keep you busy now?" I wasn't sure how to respond. It seems to me when people say stuff like that they're looking for someone to 'share their misery'.


You can choose to take it that way, but I think you might be a little sensitive. I think some people whose views are outside the mainstream are automatically on the defensive.

Sometimes people ask those kind of questions as an ice breaker of sorts. Not because they think that you're miserable, but almost as an opening to share humorous stories. Perhaps I would choose to tell her about how Nathan has learned some new skill.

If I see a woman with four or five kids, I might ask her how she does it, not because I believe a large family is bad in any way, but because I am genuinely curious how she manages certain things, when I often have my hands full with one toddler (whom I love more than life itself).


I would completely agree with you, were it not for the history of the questions and attitude of this one woman. It's actually, in my experience, happened more than once at that particular church (not just with this one woman). When I was (largely) pg with Jael-ita a woman came up to me after church and got, what I can only describe as a 'poor you' face and asked, "So how are you feeling?" I looked her full in the face and smiled and said, "I'm doing fantastically! I'm carrying a new life!" Her jaw literally dropped when I said that. She was obviously not prepared for me to answer with joy and happiness at being 'nearly done' with the pg and not complaining. It made me sad that so many there seem to relish in the negative.

I also think there is a big difference between a mom with one child genuinely and honestly asking a mom of many children, "How do you manage your time effeciently?" and a mom of one child, asking in exhasperated tones, "HOW do you do it?!".

Out of curiosity...what views do you feel that I have are 'out of the mainstream'?



Sideways -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 1:51:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: clag4christ
Out of curiosity...what views do you feel that I have are 'out of the mainstream'?



Ah, well tone of voice and prior history with the woman would certainly shed a different light on things. Sorry if I came across as being critical.

As for your views... aren't you quiverfull? I guess that what was on my mind when I made that comment. That and the intensity of your belief about moms staying home with their kids.

But I really wasn't trying to criticize or start a debate.



DenimDiva -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 2:05:54 AM)

I have four. 3 by my first marriage and 1 by my second marriage. I can't have anymore due to medical reasons.



Biblefreak -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 6:13:24 AM)

We have 3. I'm so blessed with great kids. And God has moved through our family. It is truely amazing!



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 8:06:06 AM)

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He has blessed us with 8 sons-


[:D] I have three boys and while I was initially a bit freaked out with "so many" males around, I am coming around and now I think that having 8 of them would be pretty darn cool.

You probably don't get many people saying this, so I will...You are SO blessed and lucky to have so many boys! [:D]



LaurainAL -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 8:18:17 AM)

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ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom

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He has blessed us with 8 sons-


[:D] I have three boys and while I was initially a bit freaked out with "so many" males around, I am coming around and now I think that having 8 of them would be pretty darn cool.

You probably don't get many people saying this, so I will...You are SO blessed and lucky to have so many boys! [:D]


I saw a show on TLC the other night about a family who has 17 children. 12 of them are boys, and the 5 youngest were also boys. It was so interesting to see how they all got along and how the older boys (one was thirty so I need to call them men) help teach the younger ones about construction, tools, etc....

Boys are fun!



clag4christ -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 10:32:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sideways

quote:

ORIGINAL: clag4christ
Out of curiosity...what views do you feel that I have are 'out of the mainstream'?



Ah, well tone of voice and prior history with the woman would certainly shed a different light on things. Sorry if I came across as being critical.

As for your views... aren't you quiverfull? I guess that what was on my mind when I made that comment. That and the intensity of your belief about moms staying home with their kids.

But I really wasn't trying to criticize or start a debate.



I know you weren't trying to start a debate. [:)] As far as this woman is concerned, I've never shared my QF beliefs with her. I'm not sure why this woman seems to be critical of me...but oh well.



isaacsmom -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 10:46:53 AM)

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"So they must keep you busy now?" I wasn't sure how to respond. It seems to me when people say stuff like that they're looking for someone to 'share their misery'. But I am not miserable! I suppose they keep me busy...but not in a bad way. And it's not like I don't have time for myself during the day.


Same here. It seems like ever since I've had two in tow, EVERYWHERE I go people say "Wow, you've got your hands full!" or "Wow, they must keep you busy!" Next time I'm out grocery shopping this week, I ought to count and see how many comments I get. I've mostly come to just smile and pretty much ignore.

[8|]

I only have *two* children. Well-behaved, sweet babies. I'm not overwhelmed or haggard. Do I just look that bad? [&:] I always have a good time with my kids while we're out! I just don't understand the mindset that my kids must run me ragged or I must be terribly ovewhelmed.

But I also get comments on how beautiful and/or well-behaved my kiddos are when we're out. I like those comments. [:)]



LaurainAL -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 10:49:18 AM)

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I just don't understand the mindset that my kids must run me ragged or I must be terribly ovewhelmed.


It could be that some women *are* overwhelmed and wrongly assume that you are too! I know sometimes I am overwhelmed with my 2.



clag4christ -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 11:00:20 AM)

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ORIGINAL: isaacsmom

quote:

"So they must keep you busy now?" I wasn't sure how to respond. It seems to me when people say stuff like that they're looking for someone to 'share their misery'. But I am not miserable! I suppose they keep me busy...but not in a bad way. And it's not like I don't have time for myself during the day.


Same here. It seems like ever since I've had two in tow, EVERYWHERE I go people say "Wow, you've got your hands full!" or "Wow, they must keep you busy!" Next time I'm out grocery shopping this week, I ought to count and see how many comments I get. I've mostly come to just smile and pretty much ignore.

[8|]

I only have *two* children. Well-behaved, sweet babies. I'm not overwhelmed or haggard. Do I just look that bad? [&:] I always have a good time with my kids while we're out! I just don't understand the mindset that my kids must run me ragged or I must be terribly ovewhelmed.

But I also get comments on how beautiful and/or well-behaved my kiddos are when we're out. I like those comments. [:)]


I wonder what people are going to say when/if we have three or four or *gasp* 5 or more children in tow! [;)][:)] Of course, I've had moments where I just want my shower or look forward to their nap time, if I'm tired on a given day. But I'm not dragging and overwhelmed.

Joel thinks that the next time someone makes a comment like that to me I should reply with, "Oh! I'm the best kind of busy I've ever been...and I wouldn't trade it for anything. In fact, I rather enjoy my sweet kiddos!" [:)][8D]



justjennhere -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 11:34:24 AM)

I don't mind the "overwhelmed" comments people make. A lot of the time, I DO feel overwhelmed! I've said those same kinds of things to moms of many. Not because I thought it was bad that she had so many, not because I was in any misery or wanted her to "share in my misery"... but simply because, "WOW! You have a lot of kids! You must be exhausted!"

Exhausted, overwhelmed doesn't always equal unhappy, miserable. Some of the most rewarding work God has given us to do IS exhausting and overwhelming at times. My husband spends the majority of his life exhausted with the work of pastoral ministry... and wouldn't have it any other way. I spend the majority of my life (at least right now!) exhausted with the work of raising up two little ladies into the godly women God has created them to become... and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I don't think we diminish the joy and blessing of having children and being mothers by admitting that -- yes! -- we can be exhausted and tired and sometimes just agree with the person who says that we must be overwhelmed, instead of assuming that she's being critical. There's a way to agree with that type of statement without making others think that we view our children as burdens.

But anyway, good for those of you who don't get exhausted! Who can walk the floor with a teething baby for hours on end while her big sister is pulling everything she can reach off of the shelves, pouring the contents of a sippy cup on the carpet, trying to take off her own poopy diaper -- and STILL say, "Not exhausted! Not one single bit! Every moment is a joy!"

You'll have to let me know your secret. [;)]



mathlady -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 11:55:53 AM)

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Next time I'm out grocery shopping this week, I ought to count and see how many comments I get. I've mostly come to just smile and pretty much ignore.


I used to get these kind of comments when I went shopping with my four when they were all 5 yrs. old and younger. The "best" comment was, "Are they all yours?" I never got up the nerve, but I always wanted to answer, "No, I canvas the neighborhood when I go shopping to see how many kids I can find to ask me for Fruit Loops." [:D] The nice thing is, now I get to send them shopping and I get to stay home and relax a little. Be assured, your day is coming!



Mrs.X -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 12:08:34 PM)

I only have two, and I get comments like that. Granted they are fairly close in age, but still only two of them. Really, I'm not that overwhelmed. There are periods of 20 minutes at a time where I might feel overwhelmed, but it's not as hard as it looks.



Jenny-Fair -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 12:18:23 PM)

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His reasoning: If we don't stop having babies, we'll be changing diapers for several more years.

Well, shoot, Maggie, how come you didn't think of that one?! [8D] I guess you can go get fixed right away to save yourself the trouble[8|]

I only have two kids...but that's 'cause their father left and took his DNA with him. However, I don't believe in birth control (for me) and therefor will have as many kids as God blesses me with, assuming he blesses me with a husband, lol.



isaacsmom -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 12:47:20 PM)

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But anyway, good for those of you who don't get exhausted! Who can walk the floor with a teething baby for hours on end while her big sister is pulling everything she can reach off of the shelves, pouring the contents of a sippy cup on the carpet, trying to take off her own poopy diaper -- and STILL say, "Not exhausted! Not one single bit! Every moment is a joy!"

You'll have to let me know your secret.


I didn't say I never get exhausted. I tire of picking up thousands of toys every day, LOL. [8D]

I don't have a secret. I was blessed with laid-back, easy-going babies, I only have 2 so far, and it honestly just hasn't been overwhelming for me! But then I haven't experienced the above last paragraph, LOL.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 1:03:57 PM)

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"WOW! You have a lot of kids! You must be exhausted!"

I actually find it LESS exhausting to have more kids...because they take care of themselves more, they play together more and leave me alone more, they do their own thing more and I don't have to deal with as much (for instance, our 20mo knows who to ask for more water in his cup....he asks the kids cause they will get it right then, I generally will have to stop what I am doing first....so he has learned to ask them first). Yes there are times I wish we could bottle up the energy that is running through the house, but that isn't exhausting just because there are more of them. I think in some cases people put themselves in situations where they will be exhausted more easily. We don't overextend ourselves. We know how long it takes to get the kids all dressed and out the door, and we schedule that in. When we all go to the store we don't do it if we would be pressed for time and run ragged just to run in to get a little something. We plan things more and plan more time with getting things done...like daily chores or laundry....and that planning really helps in the expectations department. We also train our kids from very early on that I am not their maid....I can't be the maid for that many people....sheesh, I don't even want to be the maid for just me and hubby!!! So do I get exhausted....sure...I too don't like 3am feedings when my body requires sleep....but we find ways around that. That's why I nurse...I can do that in my sleep!!!!



paulsbride -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 1:58:23 PM)

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You probably don't get many people saying this, so I will...You are SO blessed and lucky to have so many boys!


I agree completely!! [:)] I always wanted a houseful of boys. I just love how wild and sweet and creative boys are. Not saying girls aren't those things, or that I wouldn't love a girl just as much, I have just always been drawn to having a houseful of boys. (Though I have since defined "houseful" as being four [;)])

But having said that I don't know how many we'll end up having. I have complications that require a stitch being placed in my cervix - which potentially could cause an infection and kill the baby - and the risks are high if I don't have the stitch placed that the baby will come early. But getting the stitch placed is very stressful on my body.

As of right now I don't ever want to be pregnant again. But I do want to give birth again [8|] I don't mind labor and delivery - just carrying a baby in my womb is very hard on me.

I am torn. I don't want just two children. We are most definitely open to fostering and adoption eventually, but we want our own two children older before that happens.

So really, it is truly in God's hands. He knows the inner feelings and fears and desires of my heart, and I have complete faith that He will lead and guide us as He sees fit.



clag4christ -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 3:16:42 PM)

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"WOW! You have a lot of kids! You must be exhausted!"


I only have two, thus far, but I'm not 'exhausted' from parenting them. Yes, some days I'm more tired than others...but that's my own fault for not going to bed sooner. [;)] I don't have any secrets per se, other than both my girls go to bed at the same time every night and they both take at least one nap during the day. During those times I get to spend quality time with my Joel and hang out and do stuff for me, respectively. I agree with Sarah...when they get older it gets easier because they're more self sufficient! [:)]



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 6:23:00 PM)

quote:

I only have *two* children. Well-behaved, sweet babies. I'm not overwhelmed or haggard. Do I just look that bad? I always have a good time with my kids while we're out! I just don't understand the mindset that my kids must run me ragged or I must be terribly ovewhelmed.


It is very strange, and it's not just other young moms. I get that from all ages, men and women. And sometimes on days when things are going great and we are all happy and smiling, too.

Sometimes I think it's just something to say. Once a man made the hands-full comment, and i said "Yeah, they're a handfull but they're also a lot of fun" and he said "Good for you!". So it's not always negative, though I think many people expect me to agree with that comment in a negative way ("Yes, they sure are, wanna take one off my hands?" [&:])



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: How many children? (3/24/2008 11:42:34 PM)

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As of right now I don't ever want to be pregnant again. But I do want to give birth again I don't mind labor and delivery - just carrying a baby in my womb is very hard on me.


Lol, Jess. I have said the same thing over and over since having Gabby. I wouldn't mind doing labor and delivery 10 more time just PLEASE don't make me be pregnant[8D]



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: How many children? (3/25/2008 2:14:50 AM)

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ORIGINAL: Mrs.Wifey

quote:

As of right now I don't ever want to be pregnant again. But I do want to give birth again I don't mind labor and delivery - just carrying a baby in my womb is very hard on me.


Lol, Jess. I have said the same thing over and over since having Gabby. I wouldn't mind doing labor and delivery 10 more time just PLEASE don't make me be pregnant[8D]

my mom didn't mind the pregnancy, the labor, or the delivery (of course her longest labor was only six hours!!!)....she hated the first two years...she said she would have rather hired us out during those times. She isn't really a baby person....but she is GREAT with kids once they hit that two year old toddler stage!!! She has taught that age at church (and up through K age mostly, but some all the way up through teens) for longer then I have been alive!!!



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