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RE: How many children? - 3/22/2008 11:43:24 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 1062
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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quote:
ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2
quote:
They also have a shirt that says "If nursing in public offends you please feel free to put a blanket over your head" or "As soon as you're ready to eat your lunch in the bathroom I'll breastfeed there." They crack me up and have some great ones at cafepress.com.
ROFLOL!!! Hubby says I need that one about nursing in public!!!
Yeah, remember the big broo ha ha when that one Victoria's Secret store wouldn't let that one lady nurse in their dressing room? Kind of hypocritical when they've made their fortune off of women's anatomy.
I have no problem with women nursing in public, as long as they are discreet about it (blankets, etc). I have been around some women that are a little too careless about how much shows, and that does make me uncomfortable.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 3/22/2008 11:53:55 PM >
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And the Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give strength to your bones; And you will be like a watered garden, And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail. Isaiah 58:11
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RE: How many children? - 3/23/2008 12:24:03 AM
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momtopjajsjjm
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We prayed before we were married, and the Lord led us to Psalm 127. We have trusted Him with our family .  He has blessed us with 8 sons-
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RE: How many children? - 3/23/2008 6:47:24 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 2016
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quote:
ORIGINAL: clag4christ
I had one of those moments at church today. We were in the nursery (Hannah & Jael and me) and the other woman in there said to me, "So they must keep you busy now?" I wasn't sure how to respond. It seems to me when people say stuff like that they're looking for someone to 'share their misery'.
You can choose to take it that way, but I think you might be a little sensitive. I think some people whose views are outside the mainstream are automatically on the defensive.
Sometimes people ask those kind of questions as an ice breaker of sorts. Not because they think that you're miserable, but almost as an opening to share humorous stories. Perhaps I would choose to tell her about how Nathan has learned some new skill.
If I see a woman with four or five kids, I might ask her how she does it, not because I believe a large family is bad in any way, but because I am genuinely curious how she manages certain things, when I often have my hands full with one toddler (whom I love more than life itself).
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RE: How many children? - 3/23/2008 11:44:54 PM
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clag4christ
Posts: 2702
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
quote:
ORIGINAL: clag4christ
I had one of those moments at church today. We were in the nursery (Hannah & Jael and me) and the other woman in there said to me, "So they must keep you busy now?" I wasn't sure how to respond. It seems to me when people say stuff like that they're looking for someone to 'share their misery'.
You can choose to take it that way, but I think you might be a little sensitive. I think some people whose views are outside the mainstream are automatically on the defensive.
Sometimes people ask those kind of questions as an ice breaker of sorts. Not because they think that you're miserable, but almost as an opening to share humorous stories. Perhaps I would choose to tell her about how Nathan has learned some new skill.
If I see a woman with four or five kids, I might ask her how she does it, not because I believe a large family is bad in any way, but because I am genuinely curious how she manages certain things, when I often have my hands full with one toddler (whom I love more than life itself).
I would completely agree with you, were it not for the history of the questions and attitude of this one woman. It's actually, in my experience, happened more than once at that particular church (not just with this one woman). When I was (largely) pg with Jael-ita a woman came up to me after church and got, what I can only describe as a 'poor you' face and asked, "So how are you feeling?" I looked her full in the face and smiled and said, "I'm doing fantastically! I'm carrying a new life!" Her jaw literally dropped when I said that. She was obviously not prepared for me to answer with joy and happiness at being 'nearly done' with the pg and not complaining. It made me sad that so many there seem to relish in the negative.
I also think there is a big difference between a mom with one child genuinely and honestly asking a mom of many children, "How do you manage your time effeciently?" and a mom of one child, asking in exhasperated tones, "HOW do you do it?!".
Out of curiosity...what views do you feel that I have are 'out of the mainstream'?
< Message edited by clag4christ -- 3/24/2008 12:58:56 AM >
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RE: How many children? - 3/24/2008 1:51:24 AM
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Sideways
Posts: 2016
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quote:
ORIGINAL: clag4christ
Out of curiosity...what views do you feel that I have are 'out of the mainstream'?
Ah, well tone of voice and prior history with the woman would certainly shed a different light on things. Sorry if I came across as being critical.
As for your views... aren't you quiverfull? I guess that what was on my mind when I made that comment. That and the intensity of your belief about moms staying home with their kids.
But I really wasn't trying to criticize or start a debate.
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RE: How many children? - 3/24/2008 2:05:54 AM
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DenimDiva
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From: Concord, CA
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I have four. 3 by my first marriage and 1 by my second marriage. I can't have anymore due to medical reasons.
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RE: How many children? - 3/24/2008 6:13:24 AM
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Biblefreak
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We have 3. I'm so blessed with great kids. And God has moved through our family. It is truely amazing!
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I look above
And I know I'll always be blessed with love"
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RE: How many children? - 3/24/2008 10:49:18 AM
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LaurainAL
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quote:
I just don't understand the mindset that my kids must run me ragged or I must be terribly ovewhelmed.
It could be that some women *are* overwhelmed and wrongly assume that you are too! I know sometimes I am overwhelmed with my 2.
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RE: How many children? - 3/24/2008 11:34:24 AM
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justjennhere
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I don't mind the "overwhelmed" comments people make. A lot of the time, I DO feel overwhelmed! I've said those same kinds of things to moms of many. Not because I thought it was bad that she had so many, not because I was in any misery or wanted her to "share in my misery"... but simply because, "WOW! You have a lot of kids! You must be exhausted!"
Exhausted, overwhelmed doesn't always equal unhappy, miserable. Some of the most rewarding work God has given us to do IS exhausting and overwhelming at times. My husband spends the majority of his life exhausted with the work of pastoral ministry... and wouldn't have it any other way. I spend the majority of my life (at least right now!) exhausted with the work of raising up two little ladies into the godly women God has created them to become... and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I don't think we diminish the joy and blessing of having children and being mothers by admitting that -- yes! -- we can be exhausted and tired and sometimes just agree with the person who says that we must be overwhelmed, instead of assuming that she's being critical. There's a way to agree with that type of statement without making others think that we view our children as burdens.
But anyway, good for those of you who don't get exhausted! Who can walk the floor with a teething baby for hours on end while her big sister is pulling everything she can reach off of the shelves, pouring the contents of a sippy cup on the carpet, trying to take off her own poopy diaper -- and STILL say, "Not exhausted! Not one single bit! Every moment is a joy!"
You'll have to let me know your secret. 
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RE: How many children? - 3/24/2008 11:55:53 AM
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mathlady
Posts: 47
Joined: 2/26/2008
From: "cold" New England
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quote:
Next time I'm out grocery shopping this week, I ought to count and see how many comments I get. I've mostly come to just smile and pretty much ignore.
I used to get these kind of comments when I went shopping with my four when they were all 5 yrs. old and younger. The "best" comment was, "Are they all yours?" I never got up the nerve, but I always wanted to answer, "No, I canvas the neighborhood when I go shopping to see how many kids I can find to ask me for Fruit Loops."  The nice thing is, now I get to send them shopping and I get to stay home and relax a little. Be assured, your day is coming!
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RE: How many children? - 3/24/2008 12:08:34 PM
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SteelMagnolia
Posts: 2075
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
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I only have two, and I get comments like that. Granted they are fairly close in age, but still only two of them. Really, I'm not that overwhelmed. There are periods of 20 minutes at a time where I might feel overwhelmed, but it's not as hard as it looks.
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RE: How many children? - 3/24/2008 12:18:23 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6064
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From: WA
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quote:
His reasoning: If we don't stop having babies, we'll be changing diapers for several more years.
Well, shoot, Maggie, how come you didn't think of that one?!  I guess you can go get fixed right away to save yourself the trouble 
I only have two kids...but that's 'cause their father left and took his DNA with him. However, I don't believe in birth control (for me) and therefor will have as many kids as God blesses me with, assuming he blesses me with a husband, lol.
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RE: How many children? - 3/24/2008 1:03:57 PM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 11762
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From: Between Hither and Yon
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quote:
"WOW! You have a lot of kids! You must be exhausted!"
I actually find it LESS exhausting to have more kids...because they take care of themselves more, they play together more and leave me alone more, they do their own thing more and I don't have to deal with as much (for instance, our 20mo knows who to ask for more water in his cup....he asks the kids cause they will get it right then, I generally will have to stop what I am doing first....so he has learned to ask them first). Yes there are times I wish we could bottle up the energy that is running through the house, but that isn't exhausting just because there are more of them. I think in some cases people put themselves in situations where they will be exhausted more easily. We don't overextend ourselves. We know how long it takes to get the kids all dressed and out the door, and we schedule that in. When we all go to the store we don't do it if we would be pressed for time and run ragged just to run in to get a little something. We plan things more and plan more time with getting things done...like daily chores or laundry....and that planning really helps in the expectations department. We also train our kids from very early on that I am not their maid....I can't be the maid for that many people....sheesh, I don't even want to be the maid for just me and hubby!!! So do I get exhausted....sure...I too don't like 3am feedings when my body requires sleep....but we find ways around that. That's why I nurse...I can do that in my sleep!!!!
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Mom to Jake, Hannah, Emma, and Jack
Baby Boy due June 25, 2008
"God has a plan for your life...and so does everybody else." ~said by Doinkdom
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RE: How many children? - 3/24/2008 6:23:00 PM
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3cappuccinosmom
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quote:
I only have *two* children. Well-behaved, sweet babies. I'm not overwhelmed or haggard. Do I just look that bad? I always have a good time with my kids while we're out! I just don't understand the mindset that my kids must run me ragged or I must be terribly ovewhelmed.
It is very strange, and it's not just other young moms. I get that from all ages, men and women. And sometimes on days when things are going great and we are all happy and smiling, too.
Sometimes I think it's just something to say. Once a man made the hands-full comment, and i said "Yeah, they're a handfull but they're also a lot of fun" and he said "Good for you!". So it's not always negative, though I think many people expect me to agree with that comment in a negative way ("Yes, they sure are, wanna take one off my hands?"  )
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RE: How many children? - 3/24/2008 11:42:34 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 4447
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From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
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quote:
As of right now I don't ever want to be pregnant again. But I do want to give birth again I don't mind labor and delivery - just carrying a baby in my womb is very hard on me.
Lol, Jess. I have said the same thing over and over since having Gabby. I wouldn't mind doing labor and delivery 10 more time just PLEASE don't make me be pregnant
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