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ORIGINAL: WesSavedByGrace

I have four children, and I new I was done before my youngest was born. Don't misunderstand; I planned for and wanted her, too. Her mother's actions made me certain that more children would not be a good idea. Good thing because all 4 children live with me and don't have a mommy that is there for them. That being said, my children are such a blessing to me, and I cherish them more than anything on this earth. [;)]

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ORIGINAL: Kat_D

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ORIGINAL: WesSavedByGrace

I have four children, and I new I was done before my youngest was born. Don't misunderstand; I planned for and wanted her, too. Her mother's actions made me certain that more children would not be a good idea. Good thing because all 4 children live with me and don't have a mommy that is there for them. That being said, my children are such a blessing to me, and I cherish them more than anything on this earth. [;)]

Oh, Wes, I am so thankful those kids have you! Kudos for being a Dad who was willing to step up to the plate and make the sacrifice for the sake and love of his children!...something many Dads are not willing to do in this day and age. If they were, we'd have far fewer kids in the foster system!!

May God richly bless you and your fabulous four!

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ORIGINAL: mathlady

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Next time I'm out grocery shopping this week, I ought to count and see how many comments I get. I've mostly come to just smile and pretty much ignore.

I used to get these kind of comments when I went shopping with my four when they were all 5 yrs. old and younger. The "best" comment was, "Are they all yours?" I never got up the nerve, but I always wanted to answer, "No, I canvas the neighborhood when I go shopping to see how many kids I can find to ask me for Fruit Loops." [:D] The nice thing is, now I get to send them shopping and I get to stay home and relax a little. Be assured, your day is coming!

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Jess, I have a friend who is SOOO in the same boat with you. She wanted 10 children ... ended up birthing the first two in the 25th week of each pregnancy. Had a cerclage for #3 and was put on bedrest for 28 weeks!! Baby actually came after the due date. She is pregnant again (waited 3 years after the last one) and is due to have a boy in 3 weeks. Just had her cerclage removed last week, so is GLAD to be free from bedrest (at least this time it wasn't as strict -- 16 weeks, and she was allowed to sit up and play with her daughter on the couch/bed)

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ORIGINAL: paulsbride
Wow!! Did the two preemies live?
Neither of my pregnancies have been that rough, but that is my fear.

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ORIGINAL: Karaboo2

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ORIGINAL: paulsbride
Wow!! Did the two preemies live?
Neither of my pregnancies have been that rough, but that is my fear.

Unfortunately not, but that was more due to the doctors at the hospital ... she KNEW she was in labour and went to the hospital, but because she wasn't past 30 weeks, she had to go in through the ER first. They refused to examine her ... just said she had a UTI and to take antibiotics and go home. She was back there within an hour, and delivered the baby just inside the ER doors. The closest hospital that could possibly deal with preemies is an hour away. It took close to an hour for an ambulance to even show up at the hospital to transfer them to the more specialized hospital (the ambulance station is right across the street from the ER doors!) This happened the second time as well ... the first time, the baby died in her arms en route to that hospital. The second time the baby died within a few minutes of arriving there.

Any time she hears about a pregnant women being told (by docs) that she has a UTI, she cringes and then cries ... because around here the docs feel that they know everything and that they don't NEED to check a women to tell if she is in labour. (BTW, they didn't check her blood or urine before decreeing it was a UTI)

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ORIGINAL: Karaboo2

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ORIGINAL: paulsbride
Wow!! Did the two preemies live?
Neither of my pregnancies have been that rough, but that is my fear.

Unfortunately not, but that was more due to the doctors at the hospital ... she KNEW she was in labour and went to the hospital, but because she wasn't past 30 weeks, she had to go in through the ER first. They refused to examine her ... just said she had a UTI and to take antibiotics and go home. She was back there within an hour, and delivered the baby just inside the ER doors. The closest hospital that could possibly deal with preemies is an hour away. It took close to an hour for an ambulance to even show up at the hospital to transfer them to the more specialized hospital (the ambulance station is right across the street from the ER doors!) This happened the second time as well ... the first time, the baby died in her arms en route to that hospital. The second time the baby died within a few minutes of arriving there.

Any time she hears about a pregnant women being told (by docs) that she has a UTI, she cringes and then cries ... because around here the docs feel that they know everything and that they don't NEED to check a women to tell if she is in labour. (BTW, they didn't check her blood or urine before decreeing it was a UTI)

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ORIGINAL: TooLoudx4

Before my DH & I were married we had taken some marriage counciling. We had to answer some questions on a quiz that we were to answer seperatly w/ discusing it to each other. Well, one question was how many children do you want? We both said 4 and that is what God has blessed us with. I would love to had more but financially it wasn't a great idea and that mear fact that my children are all under that age of 8 yrs. old, my body just wouldn't handle it very well.

I've heard that it takes at least 2 yrs. to recover fully after each child, but we kind of ignored that. With my DH 10 yrs. older than I am we wanted to have our family rigtht away so that we could enjoy them as they grew up. Any let me tell ya it has been some really interesting 8 yrs. [sm=rollingeyes.gif]

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Unfortunately not, but that was more due to the doctors at the hospital ... she KNEW she was in labour and went to the hospital, but because she wasn't past 30 weeks, she had to go in through the ER first. They refused to examine her ... just said she had a UTI and to take antibiotics and go home. She was back there within an hour, and delivered the baby just inside the ER doors. The closest hospital that could possibly deal with preemies is an hour away. It took close to an hour for an ambulance to even show up at the hospital to transfer them to the more specialized hospital (the ambulance station is right across the street from the ER doors!) This happened the second time as well ... the first time, the baby died in her arms en route to that hospital. The second time the baby died within a few minutes of arriving there.

Any time she hears about a pregnant women being told (by docs) that she has a UTI, she cringes and then cries ... because around here the docs feel that they know everything and that they don't NEED to check a women to tell if she is in labour. (BTW, they didn't check her blood or urine before decreeing it was a UTI)

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my body just wouldn't handle it very well.

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My labor with my second was only an hour long (I didn't even have to push!), and I wonder sometimes if it wouldn't have been so accelerated had I waited longer in between pregnancies. Maybe it still would have been, I don't know, but I certainly don't ever want to experience that kind of labor again.

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ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom

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My labor with my second was only an hour long (I didn't even have to push!), and I wonder sometimes if it wouldn't have been so accelerated had I waited longer in between pregnancies. Maybe it still would have been, I don't know, but I certainly don't ever want to experience that kind of labor again.

You do know some would kill for such short labors? [8D]

I'm not knocking you. [:)] I have had very short labors too and I understand that sometimes those 1-2 hour labors can be really intense and even scary. But I don't think it has much to do with how your children are spaced. My kids are exactly two years apart (not by our planning!) and the last two labors have been exactly 4 hours. But the experience of all my labors has been completely different, even though the spacing has been exactly the same. [&:]

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ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom

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My labor with my second was only an hour long (I didn't even have to push!), and I wonder sometimes if it wouldn't have been so accelerated had I waited longer in between pregnancies. Maybe it still would have been, I don't know, but I certainly don't ever want to experience that kind of labor again.

You do know some would kill for such short labors? [8D]

I'm not knocking you. [:)] I have had very short labors too and I understand that sometimes those 1-2 hour labors can be really intense and even scary. But I don't think it has much to do with how your children are spaced. My kids are exactly two years apart (not by our planning!) and the last two labors have been exactly 4 hours. But the experience of all my labors has been completely different, even though the spacing has been exactly the same. [&:]

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ORIGINAL: Kat_D

I hope I am not sidetracking this thread and this is not about or directed to anyone in this thread, but this is something that has always bothered me. Is it morally right to continue to have kids when you are unable to properly parent the ones you already have? When your children are out of control from a lack or inability to properly discipline and raise them, and you are no longer able to cope, should one continue to add more to the quiver?

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My OB with my last child told me that statistically the second child is usually the shortest labor, and this statistic tends to hold true even if people have quite a few children.

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ORIGINAL: Kat_D

I hope I am not sidetracking this thread and this is not about or directed to anyone in this thread, but this is something that has always bothered me. Is it morally right to continue to have kids when you are unable to properly parent the ones you already have? When your children are out of control from a lack or inability to properly discipline and raise them, and you are no longer able to cope, should one continue to add more to the quiver?

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If you know you have a problem...wouldn't you also work towards fixing it? I mean, who is going to say, "Yup, I am a terrible parent, can't wait to have another kid to drive me crazy!" The two options you proposed are not the only option...and neither is a good option, IMO. I'd opt to get some parenting help and make some changes before any more kids were old enough to terrorize me, lol.

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ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom

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If you know you have a problem...wouldn't you also work towards fixing it? I mean, who is going to say, "Yup, I am a terrible parent, can't wait to have another kid to drive me crazy!" The two options you proposed are not the only option...and neither is a good option, IMO. I'd opt to get some parenting help and make some changes before any more kids were old enough to terrorize me, lol.

What she said. [:D]

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ORIGINAL: clag4christ

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ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom

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If you know you have a problem...wouldn't you also work towards fixing it? I mean, who is going to say, "Yup, I am a terrible parent, can't wait to have another kid to drive me crazy!" The two options you proposed are not the only option...and neither is a good option, IMO. I'd opt to get some parenting help and make some changes before any more kids were old enough to terrorize me, lol.

What she said. [:D]

Yes...discipline has really nothing to do with how many children you have. That's a strawman argument that I've heard more than once regarding QFullers.