CHURCH ON HOLD? (Full Version)

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hisglory7 -> CHURCH ON HOLD? (3/20/2008 6:18:43 PM)

hello everyone, this post is ask a simple question and see your views on this situation. Has God ever lead anyone here to put church on hold to minister a little more in the home. (family) Here is the situation my husband and i have been married for six years. We havd been seperated for seventeen months and after a lot of prayer and a lot of sacrifice we have been blessed to be reconciled. we have a four yr old son and he is so excited about the reconciliation. My husband is not sved YET! but im looking forward to that day. Amen! During the seperation I felt like it was time for me to leave the church i had been apart of for seven yr where i got saved so i had been traveling abt an hour away from home for church services. In this season i feel like God is pulling me closer into my family(my husband and son)and helping me to see that in the first part of my marriage everything came b4 them like my mother, my siblings, and my responsiblities in the church. Now that we are back together I feel like God is kind of distanceing from all of the above to focus on my My husband and my Son. God has allowed me to understand that this will not be forever but for a season . But because we are creatures of habit my flesh seems to be wrestling with this idea. I am devout abt the time i spend in devotion everyday just about 1 hr a day to be specific,and i Still maintain my fellowship with God, but its hard see exactly what God might be doing. So i decided to come here and see if anyone else has experienced this in there journeys with Christ?



collie1 -> RE: CHURCH ON HOLD? (3/20/2008 7:35:45 PM)

Hi, my opinion is that many times people especially women, put church service in front of their families, including unsaved husbands. Your husband doesn't really see time you spend in church away from him as much different than you would see time he spent away from you in a bar. It took me a long time to figure that one out.
You sound like God is still your #1 priority and you plan on keeping Him that way, that is what is most important.
Could you attend church without serving? Or join a Bible Study during the week, so you could be at home with your husband and son on Sunday morning? That way you will at least keep connected to a church, and one that is closer to your home.
As your husband feels more like he is number one in your life (after God of course), he may even wonder why you aren't attending church any longer and may want that to be something the three of you could do together.
I'll be praying for you, Colleen



GroupW -> RE: CHURCH ON HOLD? (3/20/2008 7:44:48 PM)

"To everything there is a time and a season. " (I think I read that someplace[;)])

My parents separated about 25 years ago. Both were believers, but church issues were part of that. Taking a little bit of time off was part of the reconciliation process. I'll agree with Collie - do what you can to remain part of a fellowship somehow but don't put the reconciliation at risk. You have options - attending every other week, finding something closer, who knows what. Can you bring your husband into that process and see what he's comfortable with? Any solution you arive at jointly at this point is likely to be better than a solution that you arrive at alone.

Talk about it with him. See what you come up with. You might actually enjoy the brainstorming process & build up your marriage a bit further by doing that. Or not. I'm about the worst counselor I know. That's why I'm a banker! My advice is free, and you always get what you pay for!


BT

Oh yeah - CONGRATS ON THE RECONCILIATION! Way to go! Brings tears to my eyes to hear happy endings once in a while.



Christian30 -> RE: CHURCH ON HOLD? (3/22/2008 12:23:22 AM)

For a time I had to drastically reduce my time in church activities, but I never contemplated leaving my church, even temporarily. I needed my long-term church family. If you are connected in a biblical church I would not leave due to family issues. You need the connection more than ever, but need a stronger focus at home.



TMeeks -> RE: CHURCH ON HOLD? (3/22/2008 1:27:47 AM)

An hour trip is a long time to travel. So, I understand why a change might be good.

When I was growing up, we listened to very strong Bible teachers on the radio as faithfully as one might attend a church and it had an impact on me. No one listens to the radio each week unless they really want to hear the Word of God preached. But, they can attend church for a variety of reasons.

But, you might also find a closer congregation with which you could feel comfortable.

In any event, I'm impressed that you have decided to focus on your husband and child. Live the life of Christ in you rather than trying to convert your husband. Just let God be in control and trust Him to do a work in your husband's heart. [:)]



jaimestarcross -> RE: CHURCH ON HOLD? (3/22/2008 1:38:40 AM)

I think it would be wise to find a church closer to home
- I don't feel comfortable about staying out of church to
be with your husband and son. I understand getting your priorities
straight not putting your mom, church activities, etc before your own family.
Because once you have your priorities straight your husband and son won't
be put on the back shelf any more.

* As for hearing about anyone staying away from church to be with their family
yes, I've heard of people who felt they were called to do that (this is in cases of a spouse who is saved and the other isn't) I'm sorry to say the spouses who felt they were being lead to stay out of church for a time... wound up staying away longer and backsliding.
If you truly feel lead to do this have someone else who's a strong Christian to be a watch (be in contact with you - do a small bible study with you in your home each week etc.)



YZGUY -> RE: CHURCH ON HOLD? (3/24/2008 12:54:17 PM)

Great question: I think Heb 10:25 gives an adequate answer. "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

I agree with the comments above. Your immediate family is important, especially with your time service, focus, and attention. However, teh church family is there to provide encouragement, and you are in the church family to give encouragement as well to act as part of the body - even if it is in a more limited role as your primary focus is your family. Bless you for your love for the Lord and for your family!



doinkdom -> RE: CHURCH ON HOLD? (3/24/2008 3:01:07 PM)

hisglory,

It sounds to me like you are already attending "church" everyday. I think the only element missing is community and that is a very important part of being a Christian - living in community. I'm not talking about bible studies and retreats, but real community. People who will pray for you, do life with you, value you, celebrate with you and care for you.

Perhaps asking a couple (or two) who are Christians over for dinner or popcorn and a movie would help to introduce your husband to other Christians who are not aggressively trying to make another notch on their belt of salvation, but who will invest their time to talk with and guide him through the whole Gospel and not just a portion of it. Men who will be his friends.



earthless -> RE: CHURCH ON HOLD? (3/24/2008 3:10:04 PM)

Yes, and as a pastor I have instructed people to do so when I know they have put church first and neglected their marriage/family.

Family is our first ministry.



iwillfearnoevil -> RE: CHURCH ON HOLD? (3/27/2008 3:39:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jaimestarcross
I think it would be wise to find a church closer to home
- I don't feel comfortable about staying out of church to
be with your husband and son. I understand getting your priorities
straight not putting your mom, church activities, etc before your own family.
Because once you have your priorities straight your husband and son won't
be put on the back shelf any more.


i don't think our flesh wants us to go to church. i agree with jamiesc. it's one thing giving up ministries you are involved in and another cutting off attendance. have you considered the impact on your son? it's good for him to go to church as well. even at four he can be learning basic bible stories from creation, noah, 10 commandments, david & goliath, joseph, abraham, etc that will be the foundation for his walk as he grows. that said you have a long drive so i'd try to look for a closer church or attend a midweek service. maybe even a church sponsored weekly bible study. i feel we need some accountability and regularity. going back to church again as jamiesc mentions can be tough again.



teslas -> RE: CHURCH ON HOLD? (4/10/2008 6:43:21 PM)

Dear HisGlory.
First of all, I'm very happy that you and your husband has gotten back togeather. Especially since he is not a Christian. And in regards to your question, there are so very many things to talk about.
1) Lets start with this. God would NEVER ever do anything to push his children away from Him. Anything that would cause a barrier - or cause his children to fall would be not from him. He may let you struggle and face the option to think that you should stop going to church, but He would not be telling you to stop going.
a) Think about this, would God push you away from himself (in this sense -making you think you shouldn't go to church), and push you onto another? NO. Does he care about you and your family? Yes!
-Remember, despite what we like to think, there are only 2 options in this world. 1 is God and the other is the world. Wandering away from God is heading towards to world. And vica Versa. So, would God temporarily push you away from himself so that you can go try to make it on your own? You can only head in one direction at a time.

b) Now, if your husband forced you or was totally against you going to church, then out of obedience to God to submit to your husband - then you might consider it, because even out of that you can win him for the Lord. But this situation does not seem to be the case.
2) You are a member of the Body of Christ. Unfortuneatly the body can sometimes be uncaring/unloving/selfish and not give you the love and support you need in this time. THis would be most unfortunate.
3) By your stopping your going to church, you would not only cut yourself off from a true life support, but you would be cutting yourself off from being fed the word of God. Yes you can do studies at home, but being fed and helped by your pastor and dear friends is more important. It's like when your sick. You don't cut yourself off from the doctor and hope that you can just "wing it". No, you get all the help, love and encouragement you can get.
4) You have 6 days a week to work on the recovery of your family. How is cutting out spending time with God in His sanctuary going to help you have a better recovery?
5) Let me ask you this, why do we go to church? For the social time? for the fun excitement and activities? For the songs? Those are all nice but they are not the correct reason. Its for learning to love and spend time with the Body, and even more then that it is time to be fed, come to understand God better, and the worship him.

Yes you may need time to step down from any things you are helping with (sunday school and other things) for the time, but backing off from church is not the right answer. Our flesh and feelings may tell us were too bad, they may make us feel like were not in the right place. But remember, Gods church is for the week, the sick, the wounded, the people with trouble in their families.
God knew this. Our feelings and flesh make us think that God died for the godly folks (the ones that seem to have it all togeather), but Romans 5 tells us that Christ died for the Ungodly (the rest of us who don't have it all togeather).Why would we want to leave that?

One other note before i finish. Your comment about not being able to see what God is doing here. Just a word of encouragement. We don't need to nor do we have to see what God is doing. Spend some time seeing a bunch of people in the book of Hebrews 11 who never saw what God had told them, but they stayed faithful anyways. :)



hisglory7 -> RE: CHURCH ON HOLD? (4/13/2008 9:50:00 AM)

Hello everyone, thanks so much for your comments and i really appreciate evrything that you guys have said. Just to reply to some of the comments made. I believe that every person has a personal journey with Jesus Christ. When I first realized that God was calling me out for a season i did not completely understand,but now my husband has been a little interested in the Jesus (Guy) that everyone is talking about. the other morning while i was sitting down to have bible study i kindly asked him if he wanted to read with me he said go ahead and i will listen. deep down inside i did not think he was really listening but when i finished he asked so what does that mean. I was deeply touched because after all i did not hink he cared. Do I believe that we should all be apart the body of Christ well of course because His word clearly states that. My one concern is that when God calls us to focus on something that needs attention we should be willing to make whatever sacrifices we have to make to be obedient. Let me ask a question. Is muder illegal? But abraham was willing to kill his son because this is what God had told him to do. But God was just testing Him to see if he was willing to go against the grain. I Love going to church and fellowship but if God says to sit still for a season then yes i am willing to sit still. I dont have anything bad to say about the church because i love people. I Love My God, and I tell you when says to get up go I will be ready to Go but if he wants me focus on the family then yes I am more than willing to do this as well. The flesh doesnt just go against the epitome of being a good Christian, the flesh goes against whatever God tells us to do.



scottmcc1 -> RE: CHURCH ON HOLD? (4/13/2008 3:22:34 PM)

hisglory7

I think you are doing the right thing by putting your husband before church meetings.

jaimestarcross said:
I'm sorry to say the spouses who felt they were being lead to stay out of church for a time... wound up staying away longer and backsliding.

so be careful with your walk Luke 12:35 "Always be ready to serve God with His light in you.
Proverbs 4:23 Watch your heart for signs of coldness.

doinkdom said:
but real community. People who will pray for you, do life with you, value you, celebrate with you and care for you.

This is the best part of church for many. Sharing life is an expression of love and we need that. Pray that God will give you people to fellowship with.

Can you feed yourself spiritually? It sounds like you can. Maintain devotions and prayer. And seek fellowship. God will never leave you nor forsake you. Heb 13:5 But don't forget Him. I don't think you will.

God bless and I pray your marriage will be a testimony to others who face what you are going through.



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