|
|
|
|
|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
RE: Do You Feel Guilty Buying Clothes For Yourself? - 3/24/2008 3:12:15 PM
|
|
|
mathlady
Posts: 47
Joined: 2/26/2008
From: "cold" New England
Status: offline
|
quote:
I just hate to shop
Amen to that!!! (Do our husbands know how blessed they are!?)
I think I am a marketer's worst nightmare - I walk in, get what I came for, and walk out - no browsing, no ogling of the displays - just in-out-done. Maybe that's why so many of the things I buy don't fit well? 
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Do You Feel Guilty Buying Clothes For Yourself? - 3/24/2008 4:32:44 PM
|
|
|
shadowspring
Posts: 1139
Joined: 5/27/2006
Status: offline
|
Probably so. One just cannot safely predict how something will fit just by the size/style. If that were the case, I would love shopping! It's not that I don't like my body, but I find it dreadfully tedious to keep trying clothes on until I find something that looks right. Now if I could always be guaranteed that I would be happy with at least one out of three picks, I wouldn't mind so much.
But I hate to spend money on something that I won't wear. And I can't find out how it will look without trying it on, at which time I will probably discover it's the wrong size, the style won't work for me, the color is close but not close enough, etc.
If it takes two trips to the dressing room I am irritated. I won't do three. I'll just leave empty-handed.
The only time I enjoyed shopping, my dd was determined to find me the perfect swimsuit. I stayed in the dressing room while she chose replacements for my original choice until she did indeed find the right one.
I just need to be rich and important enough to have others perform this service for me every time I shop! Until then, it's jeans and t-shirts. But not logo t-shirts! I have my standards. 
_____________________________
"All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost..." -J. R. R. Tolkien
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Do You Feel Guilty Buying Clothes For Yourself? - 3/24/2008 7:36:18 PM
|
|
|
Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6087
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
Status: online
|
Well, you sure wouldn't want me to pick your chainsaw! I'd be like, "Do they have any in lavender?" LOL
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Do You Feel Guilty Buying Clothes For Yourself? - 3/24/2008 8:05:04 PM
|
|
|
Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6087
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
Status: online
|
You'd need matching gloves, too...
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Do You Feel Guilty Buying Clothes For Yourself? - 3/24/2008 8:13:43 PM
|
|
|
Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6087
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
Status: online
|
One keeps ones skin on ones fingers.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Do You Feel Guilty Buying Clothes For Yourself? - 3/24/2008 8:42:04 PM
|
|
|
karlie
Posts: 16052
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Central California
Status: offline
|
I used to feel that way all the time. Even if it was something I really needed, I could think of so many other things that money could be spent on. Now, I have learned not to feel that way, but, it took me awhile to get there and learn not to take that unnecessary guilt on. I think because I spent so many years with us on such a tight budget where even necessities were often hard to purchase at times, that it was hard to let go of that mentality even once money loosened up and I had some more freedom. I shop for myself a lot more often than I ever did and for the most part I don't feel the least bit guilty, even when a lot of what I buy isn't absolutely necessary. Part of that is because of my husband. He has told me over and over that I paid my dues of buying little over the years, so I should enjoy it when I can now. He likes it that I can treat myself now.
I think it takes time when you're so used to saying no(and happy to say it!) when other things have to come first. It just feels so frivolous at first to buy something for yourself and not think of the other ways that money could be better spent. It just becomes part of our thinking, I think. And, it does creep back in sometimes. When it does, I go though this little checklist and use it to evaluate why I am feeling guilty:
1. I'm not spending more than I can afford to on miscellaneous items, and I am not using a credit card.
2. I'm not buying anything that will just sit in my closet. What I'm buying I will wear and is practical for my lifestyle
4. I'm not taking any money away from bills, savings, ministries, family needs, or other expenses to buy clothes or personal items.
5. I'm not being extravagant or buying anything overly expensive.
If I can say all those things about my purchases, then there isn't any need to feel guilty and I refuse to take it on. If I can't say every one of those things about the money I am spending, then I consider it conviction and not unnecessary guilt. That's happened a time or two as well!
Enjoy your pretty sweater, Cynthia 
< Message edited by karlie -- 3/24/2008 8:50:32 PM >
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Do You Feel Guilty Buying Clothes For Yourself? - 3/24/2008 9:00:36 PM
|
|
|
Ellie-Mae
Posts: 4130
Joined: 4/9/2005
From: The EMPIRE state!
Status: online
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: karlie
I used to feel that way all the time. Even if it was something I really needed, I could think of so many other things that money could be spent on. Now, I have learned not to feel that way, but, it took me awhile to get there and learn not to take that unnecessary guilt on. I think because I spent so many years with us on such a tight budget where even necessities were often hard to purchase at times, that it was hard to let go of that mentality even once money loosened up and I had some more freedom. I shop for myself a lot more often than I ever did and for the most part I don't feel the least bit guilty, even when a lot of what I buy isn't absolutely necessary. Part of that is because of my husband. He has told me over and over that I paid my dues of buying little over the years, so I should enjoy it when I can now. He likes it that I can treat myself now.
I think it takes time when you're so used to saying no(and happy to say it!) when other things have to come first. It just feels so frivolous at first to buy something for yourself and not think of the other ways that money could be better spent. It just becomes part of our thinking, I think. And, it does creep back in sometimes. When it does, I go though this little checklist and use it to evaluate why I am feeling guilty:
1. I'm not spending more than I can afford to on miscellaneous items, and I am not using a credit card.
4. I'm not taking any money away from bills, savings, ministries, family needs, or other expenses to buy clothes or personal items.
5. I'm not being extravagant or buying anything overly expensive.
If I can say all those things about my purchases, then there isn't any need to feel guilty and I refuse to take it on. If I can't say every one of those things about the money I am spending, then I consider it conviction and not unnecessary guilt. That's happened a time or two as well!
Enjoy your pretty sweater, Cynthia
Your post describes where I am at for the most part.
I will say that I keep a mental list of things that I want in my head. If I see something on that list on sale for a good price I will pick it up with very little guilt.
If Russ is with me, I will feel less guilt.
This I have a problem with: quote:
2. I'm not buying anything that will just sit in my closet. What I'm buying I will wear and is practical for my lifestyle
I have a hard time being sure that I will like what I buy. I really try, but things often don't look/fit the way they did in the store. That is one of my biggest issues along with only being able to spend the money once.
I do try to make sure I have enough clothes, but I really am terrible at shopping for my own clothes.
_____________________________
Shar-Mar is my future SIL!
...As soon as my little brother gets older than her.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Do You Feel Guilty Buying Clothes For Yourself? - 3/24/2008 9:12:12 PM
|
|
|
lifeisgoodwgod
Posts: 75
Joined: 1/28/2006
From: Western NC
Status: offline
|
WHAT???? Not buy myself anything??? You know what they say or do they? No guilt no glory. Just joking. I deserve it more than anyone. No I don't feel guilty.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Do You Feel Guilty Buying Clothes For Yourself? - 3/25/2008 12:19:24 AM
|
|
|
cynthia
Posts: 7256
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
Status: offline
|
Good points, Karlie. Thanks for posting.
_____________________________
"A tax supported, compulsory educational system is the complete model of the totalitarian state."
-- Isabel Patterson
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Do You Feel Guilty Buying Clothes For Yourself? - 3/25/2008 2:06:31 AM
|
|
|
Melitac
Posts: 156
Joined: 2/9/2008
Status: offline
|
I feel guilty doing it.
Which is why I still am wearing a nursing bra and my youngest is 13. (I do use it for sleeping in, but still)
I don't feel guilty if hubby is with me. But if we are shopping together, I always "ask" him if I can get it.
I think part of me does this on purpose to make myself look pathetic, which I'm sure is rooted in old resentments about rarely getting what I want and often need.
When I was employed (last time was about 8 years ago), I enjoyed spending my own money and never ever felt guilty about it.
I think this is a big part of it for many women.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Do You Feel Guilty Buying Clothes For Yourself? - 3/25/2008 2:05:31 PM
|
|
|
shadowspring
Posts: 1139
Joined: 5/27/2006
Status: offline
|
Ah, that could be. I don't get feel guilty over buying myself clothes since I don't work, but boy am I touchy if my husband questions any of my purchases.
My knee-jerk reaction is along the lines of "So, I guess I should go get a job. Cause right now my income is ZERO, so I guess I shouldn't be spending anything at all, huh?"
Like most long-term married couples, my weakness is now a standard joke of ours, and we can and do make fun of my "poor-me" attitude when budget talks come up.
But yikes! When I first popped off with this I surprised MYSELF with my reaction! I didn't know I felt that way at all. It wasn't something I ever verbalized, I guess it was just an underlying assumption about money and my personal contribution to the family bottom line.
So I can see how that unspoken assumption of net income=net worth as a person could make a mom hesitant to pick up a darling sweater for herself, even if it was in the budget.
And looked great on her.
And made her feel beautiful.
I'm happy you got your sweater, cynthia.
_____________________________
"All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost..." -J. R. R. Tolkien
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Do You Feel Guilty Buying Clothes For Yourself? - 3/25/2008 2:21:04 PM
|
|
|
cynthia
Posts: 7256
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
Status: offline
|
The thing is, my husband likes it when I buy stuff for myself. He likes me to look nice and doesn't worry about me going overboard. I am actually going to go shopping today for shoes. There are outlet stores in a town south of here. I have to run an errand in that direction and figure I may as well go a few miles further to see if I can find any bargins on shoes.
I think my issue is that I do not see buying clothing for myself as a priority. I need to put it in the budget and have the money on hand for when I find something on sale. If I wait until I really need something, it's harder to find a good deal than if I would shop periodically and look for those great bargins along the way.
_____________________________
"A tax supported, compulsory educational system is the complete model of the totalitarian state."
-- Isabel Patterson
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Do You Feel Guilty Buying Clothes For Yourself? - 3/25/2008 3:58:19 PM
|
|
|
cynthia
Posts: 7256
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
Status: offline
|
My errand has been cancelled. My husband is already down in that area, so he can stop by and do my errand for me. This is actually good news, as I really did not want to drive all the way down there today, especially late in the afternoon, which is when I'd have to go.
_____________________________
"A tax supported, compulsory educational system is the complete model of the totalitarian state."
-- Isabel Patterson
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Do You Feel Guilty Buying Clothes For Yourself? - 3/25/2008 4:17:23 PM
|
|
|
Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6087
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
Status: online
|
LOL, Cynthia, when I read your first post I was going to say, "I know where you are going and I'm jealous!" but then I read your second post.
They have an OshKosh outlet there...ah, to have little boys again 
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
| |
Forum Tools
Printable Version
), so I don't need to get clothing. Maybe this combination of defining "need" and using stuff until it is rags explains the guilt at buying something new.