Staying pure in marriage (Full Version)

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funny_girl -> Staying pure in marriage (3/24/2008 12:14:37 AM)

Ever been attracted to someone that wasn't your spouse? Ever wonder if you could possibly be attractive to another man? I think it's normal at some point in time.



clag4christ -> RE: Staying pure in marriage (3/24/2008 12:38:10 AM)

Though it is normal to see another man and think, "He's good looking." It is not 'normal' for a Christian to give into temptation nor lust for a man who is not her husband.



Mrs.X -> RE: Staying pure in marriage (3/24/2008 1:00:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: clag4christ

Though it is normal to see another man and think, "He's good looking." It is not 'normal' for a Christian to give into temptation nor lust for a man who is not her husband.

I completely agree. Well, actually I think it would be normal for any person to feel that way, but that is because of our sinful nature. It is definetely a sin to feel that way. I think it might have been Paul who wrote that lusting with your eyes is just as bad as adultery.

When i got married, I gave up my crush on Bret Favre. I got rid of all the Packers/Favre stuff I had and forgot about him.

As far as being attractive to another man, I think there is a fine line between wanting to look put together for the sake of looking put together and looking put together to attract men. I think if this is something you struggle with, you might want to humble yourself and try to not look so attractive when you're out. I don't wear make-up when I'm out and not with my hubby, and try to look more put together when I'm out with him or when he gets home because that is something I've struggled with in the past.

If both of these issues you struggle with, stomp them out ASAP. Bad thoughts start out as little tiny harmless thought and can eventually grow into flat out sin, like bad enough to ruin your marriage and ruin your whole life. Pluck your eyes out if you have to.



funny_girl -> RE: Staying pure in marriage (3/24/2008 2:41:56 AM)

Girls, I just wanted to talk about it because sometimes we think we're not suppose to have feelings after we get married. It's normal to have feelings, but it's how we respond. It's godly to recognize, "oh ya, that's an attractive person" but to keep ourselves pure by not going any further than that. Keeping ourselves pure for our husbands. Save all those sexy thoughts for the one we married. I have a lot of history with my husband and I praise the Lord that we will celebrate 20 years of marriage this year. We've been faithful to one another, but it hasn't always been easy. When I went through a season of temptation, one of the ropes that kept me anchored was all of our history and how I don't want lose that. I want to grow old with this man I married so we can sit in our rockers when we're old and reminisce about when we were young.[:)]



clag4christ -> RE: Staying pure in marriage (3/24/2008 10:36:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peanut2

Girls, I just wanted to talk about it because sometimes we think we're not suppose to have feelings after we get married. It's normal to have feelings, but it's how we respond. It's godly to recognize, "oh ya, that's an attractive person" but to keep ourselves pure by not going any further than that. Keeping ourselves pure for our husbands. Save all those sexy thoughts for the one we married. I have a lot of history with my husband and I praise the Lord that we will celebrate 20 years of marriage this year. We've been faithful to one another, but it hasn't always been easy. When I went through a season of temptation, one of the ropes that kept me anchored was all of our history and how I don't want lose that. I want to grow old with this man I married so we can sit in our rockers when we're old and reminisce about when we were young.[:)]


That's wonderful that you're going to be celebrating 20 years of marriage! What a blessing!


I would definitely make a distinction between seeing an attractive man in passing and thinking, "Hey he's good looking." and having *feelings* for someone who's not my husband.



Mrs.X -> RE: Staying pure in marriage (3/24/2008 11:00:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peanut2

Girls, I just wanted to talk about it because sometimes we think we're not suppose to have feelings after we get married. It's normal to have feelings, but it's how we respond. It's godly to recognize, "oh ya, that's an attractive person" but to keep ourselves pure by not going any further than that. Keeping ourselves pure for our husbands. Save all those sexy thoughts for the one we married. I have a lot of history with my husband and I praise the Lord that we will celebrate 20 years of marriage this year. We've been faithful to one another, but it hasn't always been easy. When I went through a season of temptation, one of the ropes that kept me anchored was all of our history and how I don't want lose that. I want to grow old with this man I married so we can sit in our rockers when we're old and reminisce about when we were young.[:)]

Oh, good! Congratulations on 20 years! I wasn't sure if you were posting because it was something you struggled with or not, so that's why my post sounded like it did.



W.O.F. -> RE: Staying pure in marriage (3/25/2008 11:45:01 PM)

I agree that it is one thing to "notice the candy in the store window" and another to stand and drool over it, or to go in and "buy it".

It is normal and acceptable to notice an attractive man....God made all of us to appreciate beauty in all its forms...BUT there is, as has been stated, that line of noticing someone who is attractive and fantasizing about them or pursuing them.

To be honest...my husband is the most handsome man in the world to me. I notice other guys....but he is the only one that gives me 'butterflies'...and that is because I KNOW him...and he is my FRIEND as well as my lover.

We've been married nearly 19 years.



ElissaT -> RE: Staying pure in marriage (4/17/2008 1:32:37 AM)

Thanks for your honest question. I believe these are the types of questions that we need to be having, so people can talk about it. For me, I find lots of men attractive, and many find me attractive as well. I love my husband, and think he is attractive. Many of my friends have also confided in me that they have struggled or struggle with this issue. Being married doesn't necessarily take that away, especially when time goes by. What I know now (and I had to learn the hard way), is that I can acknowledge my thoughts and feelings (and share with a safe person), but don't need to take it any further. Finding someone attractive does not make me bad or less spiritual. If I am checking out men and objectifying them, ignoring all my friends, then I am taking it a little too far. A lot of women, including myself, like to get approval from men, and it can be dangerous territory. I have to constantly watch my own motives, and keep certain boundaries. One of the hardest places for me is actually in the church, because of the emphasis on teams and groups with people who are like me. The more I can talk about it, the more clearly I can see, so that I can continue to stay on a path that keeps me closer with God.

grace and peace



flowerz -> RE: Staying pure in marriage (4/17/2008 1:00:17 PM)

quote:

Ever been attracted to someone that wasn't your spouse? Ever wonder if you could possibly be attractive to another man?


Yes. I have been attracted to other men. I think when women are attracted to a man, it may not be in the same sort of lustful way that a man would be. That's how it is with me anyways. I may think someone is really attractive, but I'm not thinking anything sexual.
We've been married 20 years too.[:)]



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