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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/23/2008 10:25:07 AM
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WaitingforBoaz
Posts: 3019
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: The Hundred Acre Wood
Status: offline
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quote:
For me, one of the reasons is that it seems that the vast majority of threads here either start off being about dating, flirting, finding a spouse - or they eventually find their way to those topics.
With my Married friends I talk about our kids, homeschooling(did it for 8 years), books I'm reading and new recipes etc. When I'm in church we discuss the sermon, up coming events, how great the worship was etc.
At work we discuss work related topics and when I come to the
Singles thread, I talk about being single, as these are the only single people I know and they get it. Being a new widow that was thrown into singleness after 20 years of an wonderful marriage, I needed a place to be single and learn to understand what that means again.
I don't think most of us walk around in our daily lives and talk constantly about our state of singleness....this is just a place to come and let your hair down and be you....whoever that is.
quote:
I like people. Men, women, young, old, married, single, black, white, red, yellow, purple. That's my focus; people in general.
This is me offline. I have friends from all walks of life but they are all married or much older widows. I have many, many interests that I live out in real life. But, right now this is where I live my singleness.
quote:
However, there are also people here who I consider my friends who I don't see anywhere else on the forums.
Me too! 
_____________________________
Nadine
The LORD repay your work, and a full reward be given you by the LORD God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge.” Ruth 2:12
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/23/2008 10:36:37 AM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26359
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
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Thank you all for your kind replies.
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
The other forums I've been in here don't have nearly the sense of community that this one does. Of course I've not explored too much as this one suited my needs when I found it. Why go elsewhere when you have what you want at home. I have found the PFY threads to be hugely "community-minded" towards it's posters (and when CS died, that was shown to me on a level that was unimaginable. I know that people from other folders were involved in that, but it originated over in Personally For You . . . well actually before that, when it was called General Topics).
Also last year, I found the Southern Gospel folder (and also discovered Southern Gospel music, at the same time). They don't even care if you like Southern Gospel music; they love everybody.
John, I wasn't so much arguing with your statement; rather, I was pointing out 2 folders that are, indeed, quite welcoming.
quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
In fairness, it's a requirement that ALL threads here be about being single. It's VERY limiting and there was quite a bit more variety before, inviting a lot of fun interaction that wasn't solely about dating, etc. but, hey, them's the rules and we gotta play by 'em.
Ah, yes. Lioness, I, too, remember those wonderful days.  I'm glad there are other fossils posters around these here parts that remember it as well.
. . . But when did being single equate with the assumption that one is somehow looking (or waiting) for a spouse; that a single's goal is, indeed, to get married (again)?
For example, the thread, "Must Christians Actively Seek a Partner?" has veered from the OP (which posed a very good question for discussion) into now educating women on how to show interest in a man.
. . . And why is it ok for someone who is searching to express their feelings / opinions, but it's not ok for someone who isn't marriage-minded to do the same? I've already encountered this attitude on a personal level; in fact, it happened the very day I ventured back into this folder.
I certainly don't take it as a personal affront that someone is wanting to get married; why should my differing viewpoints be taken as a personal insult?
quote:
ORIGINAL: landabee
I could have posted it myself....... well except the parts about being white and at the end of the boomer generation. LOL  Jalanda!!! 
Mike's thread, "Single and Not Looking" and Steve's "Cooking for One" is what drew me back into the Singles' folder. Neither one of them have as their focus a topic centered around attaining the goal of marriage.
I also know that if I don't like the way things are here, I am always free to pick up my toys and go elsewhere. Rather than that, I'm simply hoping for a broader area in which to be here than just a couple / three, four threads. I guess time will tell.
Thank y'all very much for listening to this; I truly appreciate it.
_____________________________
Please Help Me Identify these Toys!
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/23/2008 10:55:52 AM
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WaitingforBoaz
Posts: 3019
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: The Hundred Acre Wood
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
Thank you all for your kind replies.
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
The other forums I've been in here don't have nearly the sense of community that this one does. Of course I've not explored too much as this one suited my needs when I found it. Why go elsewhere when you have what you want at home. I have found the PFY threads to be hugely "community-minded" towards it's posters (and when CS died, that was shown to me on a level that was unimaginable. I know that people from other folders were involved in that, but it originated over in Personally For You . . . well actually before that, when it was called General Topics).
Also last year, I found the Southern Gospel folder (and also discovered Southern Gospel music, at the same time). They don't even care if you like Southern Gospel music; they love everybody.
John, I wasn't so much arguing with your statement; rather, I was pointing out 2 folders that are, indeed, quite welcoming.
quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
In fairness, it's a requirement that ALL threads here be about being single. It's VERY limiting and there was quite a bit more variety before, inviting a lot of fun interaction that wasn't solely about dating, etc. but, hey, them's the rules and we gotta play by 'em.
Ah, yes. Lioness, I, too, remember those wonderful days. I'm glad there are other fossils posters around these here parts that remember it as well.
. . . But when did being single equate with the assumption that one is somehow looking (or waiting) for a spouse; that a single's goal is, indeed, to get married (again)?
For example, the thread, "Must Christians Actively Seek a Partner?" has veered from the OP (which posed a very good question for discussion) into now educating women on how to show interest in a man.
. . . And why is it ok for someone who is searching to express their feelings / opinions, but it's not ok for someone who isn't marriage-minded to do the same? I've already encountered this attitude on a personal level; in fact, it happened the very day I ventured back into this folder.
I certainly don't take it as a personal affront that someone is wanting to get married; why should my differing viewpoints be taken as a personal insult?
quote:
ORIGINAL: landabee
I could have posted it myself....... well except the parts about being white and at the end of the boomer generation. LOL Jalanda!!!
Mike's thread, "Single and Not Looking" and Steve's "Cooking for One" is what drew me back into the Singles' folder. Neither one of them have as their focus a topic centered around attaining the goal of marriage.
I also know that if I don't like the way things are here, I am always free to pick up my toys and go elsewhere. Rather than that, I'm simply hoping for a broader area in which to be here than just a couple / three, four threads. I guess time will tell.
Start a thread about something that interests you and see what happens. 
quote:
Thank y'all very much for listening to this; I truly appreciate it.
_____________________________
Nadine
The LORD repay your work, and a full reward be given you by the LORD God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge.” Ruth 2:12
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/23/2008 11:11:12 AM
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CoeurdeLeon
Posts: 6462
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
Ah, yes. Lioness, I, too, remember those wonderful days. I'm glad there are other fossils posters around these here parts that remember it as well.
. . . But when did being single equate with the assumption that one is somehow looking (or waiting) for a spouse; that a single's goal is, indeed, to get married (again)?
For example, the thread, "Must Christians Actively Seek a Partner?" has veered from the OP (which posed a very good question for discussion) into now educating women on how to show interest in a man.
. . . And why is it ok for someone who is searching to express their feelings / opinions, but it's not ok for someone who isn't marriage-minded to do the same? I've already encountered this attitude on a personal level; in fact, it happened the very day I ventured back into this folder.
I certainly don't take it as a personal affront that someone is wanting to get married; why should my differing viewpoints be taken as a personal insult?
I dunno. 'Cause people are touchy and, if you don't want what they want, they think you're saying that what they want is bad?
'Cause, around here and IRL, some singles get so slapped about with "God is ALL you need! Why are you whining? You must not have any faith or you wouldn't feel that way." that they have hair-triggers?
<shrugs> I have no idea, that's why I don't post here much. 
So maybe I should keep my mouth shut?
I do know what you're saying about threads veering off a non-mate-finding OP and going off on another tangent entirely. That happens a lot.
"Fossil", eh?
_____________________________
When I have a little money I buy Books.
If any left over I buy food and clothes.
Erasmus
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/23/2008 11:33:26 AM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 4729
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
Ah, yes. Lioness, I, too, remember those wonderful days. I'm glad there are other fossils posters around these here parts that remember it as well.
. . . But when did being single equate with the assumption that one is somehow looking (or waiting) for a spouse; that a single's goal is, indeed, to get married (again)?
For example, the thread, "Must Christians Actively Seek a Partner?" has veered from the OP (which posed a very good question for discussion) into now educating women on how to show interest in a man.
. . . And why is it ok for someone who is searching to express their feelings / opinions, but it's not ok for someone who isn't marriage-minded to do the same? I've already encountered this attitude on a personal level; in fact, it happened the very day I ventured back into this folder.
I certainly don't take it as a personal affront that someone is wanting to get married; why should my differing viewpoints be taken as a personal insult?
I dunno. 'Cause people are touchy and, if you don't want what they want, they think you're saying that what they want is bad?
'Cause, around here and IRL, some singles get so slapped about with "God is ALL you need! Why are you whining? You must not have any faith or you wouldn't feel that way." that they have hair-triggers?
<shrugs> I have no idea, that's why I don't post here much.
So maybe I should keep my mouth shut?
I do know what you're saying about threads veering off a non-mate-finding OP and going off on another tangent entirely. That happens a lot.
"Fossil", eh?
DING! DING! DING! I don't know how many times I hear, "Oh you're so lucky you're single! Enjoy it! Spend extra time with your boys! Blah blah blah..." *sigh*
I don't need someone who went straight from the commencement aisle to the wedding aisle telling me how to enjoy my life at 29.
However...you both raise interesting points. I wholeheartedly agree with John on how this is a 'community' more than anything. Hence why I come here more than anywhere else.
I also agree with (I don't have time to quote everyone; sorry!) whomever said (or implied) that when in this forum it's hard to discuss just issues pertaining to being single. There's only so much one can discuss without going in circles. So that's what we do; we either discuss how to find a mate, how to get over a mate, how to enjoy living without a mate, or how to convey to people that we aren't insane for not wanting to seek a mate.
Do you see what I mean?
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/23/2008 11:36:26 AM
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AngelInWaiting1983
Posts: 3910
Joined: 6/8/2007
From: My heart is in SC, but i'm WV bound
Status: offline
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quote:
'Cause, around here and IRL, some singles get so slapped about with "God is ALL you need! Why are you whining? You must not have any faith or you wouldn't feel that way." that they have hair-triggers?
I get so sick and tired of hearing that. Yes I have even said to someone, that they needed to trust God and wait. At the same time I told him "It will hurt".
So maybe we need to start a thread that is still singles oriented, but not let it be the central point.
_____________________________
Reflecting with Terri
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/23/2008 11:38:56 AM
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WaitingforBoaz
Posts: 3019
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: The Hundred Acre Wood
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
Ah, yes. Lioness, I, too, remember those wonderful days. I'm glad there are other fossils posters around these here parts that remember it as well.
. . . But when did being single equate with the assumption that one is somehow looking (or waiting) for a spouse; that a single's goal is, indeed, to get married (again)?
For example, the thread, "Must Christians Actively Seek a Partner?" has veered from the OP (which posed a very good question for discussion) into now educating women on how to show interest in a man.
. . . And why is it ok for someone who is searching to express their feelings / opinions, but it's not ok for someone who isn't marriage-minded to do the same? I've already encountered this attitude on a personal level; in fact, it happened the very day I ventured back into this folder.
I certainly don't take it as a personal affront that someone is wanting to get married; why should my differing viewpoints be taken as a personal insult?
I dunno. 'Cause people are touchy and, if you don't want what they want, they think you're saying that what they want is bad?
'Cause, around here and IRL, some singles get so slapped about with "God is ALL you need! Why are you whining? You must not have any faith or you wouldn't feel that way." that they have hair-triggers?
<shrugs> I have no idea, that's why I don't post here much.
So maybe I should keep my mouth shut?
Please don't! I appreciate your opinions.
quote:
I do know what you're saying about threads veering off a non-mate-finding OP and going off on another tangent entirely. That happens a lot.
I am guilty of this...I am new to this kind of communication and for me it takes on the form of a conversation. If IRL life someone turned to me in the middle of a conversation and said excuse me, but stay on topic here, I would be taken aback. Conversation IRL take twists and turns and then eventually(hopefully) it comes full circle, back to the original topic.
I realize there is certain a forum etiquette that I have not perfected, but really just set me straight and well move on.
_____________________________
Nadine
The LORD repay your work, and a full reward be given you by the LORD God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge.” Ruth 2:12
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/23/2008 11:43:25 AM
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WaitingforBoaz
Posts: 3019
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: The Hundred Acre Wood
Status: offline
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I think this is a great idea OA.
A one stop thread for everything single, that has nothing to do with opposite sex relationships. It could work.
Okay Go! (movie?)
_____________________________
Nadine
The LORD repay your work, and a full reward be given you by the LORD God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge.” Ruth 2:12
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/23/2008 11:46:25 AM
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agapetos
Posts: 5369
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
Status: offline
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quote:
Being single, this folder should be my home base as it is for some of you, but honestly, I often feel more at home in other threads...
I feel that way too... I've been posting in the 'cooking for one' thread recently and have been looking at other threads to see if they interest me... It's kinda weird (nice weird though) seeing people who've posted lots but I've not really got to know because we haven't posted in the same threads before...
_____________________________
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not using them in fruit salads!
My blog
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/23/2008 12:06:48 PM
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ladioffaith
Posts: 2821
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: NE Ohio (L.A. . . Lower Akron)
Status: offline
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There are lots of threads around here that don't have to do with seeking a mate:
Cooking for One
What can you thank God for today?
Your Number One Prayer Request?
Computers 101/ABC and singles chat threads
Hey Honey Can you help me with this?
There are others .... that's just what I can come up with off the top of my head.
There's nothing wrong with ALSO hanging out in PFY, in Humor and Games, in Home and Garden, in Womens, Mens, he or she says, Television, etc. In fact, it is encouraged!
_____________________________
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with
his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zeph. 3:17
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/23/2008 9:50:24 PM
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John_O
Posts: 6882
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
The other forums I've been in here don't have nearly the sense of community that this one does. Of course I've not explored too much as this one suited my needs when I found it. Why go elsewhere when you have what you want at home. I have found the PFY threads to be hugely "community-minded" towards it's posters (and when CS died, that was shown to me on a level that was unimaginable. I know that people from other folders were involved in that, but it originated over in Personally For You . . . well actually before that, when it was called General Topics).
Also last year, I found the Southern Gospel folder (and also discovered Southern Gospel music, at the same time). They don't even care if you like Southern Gospel music; they love everybody.
John, I wasn't so much arguing with your statement; rather, I was pointing out 2 folders that are, indeed, quite welcoming.
I'm certain they are. But since I found this place I've no need to go elsewhere.
Of course I couldn't go to the Southern Gospel music forum anyway. The Catholics believe there is a place called purgatory where people would have to 'work off' or be punished for their non-mortal sins. I firmly believe that if there is such a place they constantly play Southern Gospel music there. (OK so maybe it's not that bad, but some singers sure make it sound close)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: I'm not sure I belong in this folder - 4/23/2008 10:45:07 PM
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sunluvingirl
Posts: 1348
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
The other forums I've been in here don't have nearly the sense of community that this one does. Of course I've not explored too much as this one suited my needs when I found it. Why go elsewhere when you have what you want at home. I have found the PFY threads to be hugely "community-minded" towards it's posters (and when CS died, that was shown to me on a level that was unimaginable. I know that people from other folders were involved in that, but it originated over in Personally For You . . . well actually before that, when it was called General Topics).
Also last year, I found the Southern Gospel folder (and also discovered Southern Gospel music, at the same time). They don't even care if you like Southern Gospel music; they love everybody.
John, I wasn't so much arguing with your statement; rather, I was pointing out 2 folders that are, indeed, quite welcoming.
I'm certain they are. But since I found this place I've no need to go elsewhere.
Of course I couldn't go to the Southern Gospel music forum anyway. The Catholics believe there is a place called purgatory where people would have to 'work off' or be punished for their non-mortal sins. I firmly believe that if there is such a place they constantly play Southern Gospel music there. (OK so maybe it's not that bad, but some singers sure make it sound close)
 
_____________________________
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."
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