What have I done? (Full Version)

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Beck34 -> What have I done? (4/6/2008 10:00:56 AM)

I have a situation that I am trying to fix, but I am at a loss as to what to do. I have gotten so behind, that now, my whole paycheck seems to go to the bank or to someone else. I falling farther and farther behind! I tried taking out a payday loan to fix it, but that only made things worse. Now, I am at a point where it is affecting the whole family because I am at a point where I am trying to figure out how I am going to feed my children from one day to the next. On top of that, the job that pays our primary bills is fixing to be lost by my husband due to the fact that the plant he is working at is going to shut down. I am drowning, and I can't seem to get my head above water. I got into this mess by not listening to God, and now...It seems like my prayers are hitting the ceiling in this matter. Any suggestions? I would welcome any advise, even if it is harsh.



Miss Giggles -> RE: What have I done? (4/6/2008 10:42:08 AM)

You have to pay your necessary expenses first. That is housing, utilities food and usually transportation.. is your paycheck being garnished? You can give more detail if you want, or you can try to contact a budget coach at crown.org to see if they can help..

Also is it a permanent plant closure or just a layoff.. if it's a layoff and they are in the union they get most of their pay... if it's a permanent plant closure they are required to give 60 days notice before they close the plant and your husband should start looking for a job as soon as possible.



crh737 -> RE: What have I done? (4/6/2008 2:15:46 PM)

Becky~
The worst thing you can do is take out a payday loan. They are worse than a high interest credit card and will not solve your problem.
Why is your check going to the bank?
Do you have a debt that is creating financial problems?

I agree your first payments are to your house utilities,food, etc.. Everyone else can wait until you are on even waters.
Be anxious for nothing, even to bullying creditors. Take a deep breath and review your fiances.

CRH



crm4souls -> RE: What have I done? (4/6/2008 3:23:57 PM)

Beck,

What do you mean by "you got into this mess by not listening to God". Even if you did miss God, He still loves you. King David said, "I have never seen your seed forsaken or begging for bread." God will bring your family through this situation. Yes, there are natural decisions, budgets, etc that need to be done, but God will help you out of this. Make a list of the worst thing that can happen to you & the family. Get it out of the way. Once you look at the list you realize you are not going to lose your life or your legs. Choose not to live in fear! Right now, I hear fear coming from you. Despite what has happened you must get back in faith and believe God. He loves you and will bring your family out of this situation. Once you get back in faith and have hope, live without fear and deal with the natural things day to day. Pay all the necessities first and let any other creditors scream in a desperate situation. The one thing you must put first is God. Don't stop tithing and if you have stopped, start again. By tithing I have found God stretch our finances, you cannot afford not to tithe and rob God. Put God first and then deal with the bills. Living in no fear, means you trust God to bring another job or better job for your husband. God will make a way for your family.

crm



Beck34 -> RE: What have I done? (4/7/2008 1:08:35 AM)

The reason that my check seems to go straight to the bank is something that I have been trying to figure out. I am at a loss as to what is coming out. I know that 70 is automatically deducted each pay period, but the last time I checked my account after my check was deposited, my balance was 99 dollars. So, I wrote a couple of bad checks to pay some bills. Now, I have a negative balance on my checking account, and I am at a loss as to what to do. When I try to figure out what is going on from the bank, they don't seem to have time for me. I tried to check my account on-line so I could see what was going on, but the system won't let me in so I can check it. I am going to call the bank again tommorrow to see if I can get some straight answers. I have cried myself to sleep over this. I can't even eat most of the time.
I know that the devil gives us a spirit of fear, but this is hard not to worry about. How am I going to feed my family this week? ZI have a check that a lady gave me today that I can cash and use for groceries, but what am I going to do if my check is eat up again by bank fees?
Does anybody have any suggestions?
Part of the reason I got into this mess is because I tried to start my own buisness, and I wound up in debt from that. Then, as I realized that I was slipping behind, I tried to fix the problem myself instead of taking it to the One who could really help me.
I am so scared right now because I know I have messed up, and God shouldn't have to fix this. Who am I to ask Him to help me with something this trivial? What if He tells me that He won't help me?
Please pray for me, and any suggestions are greatly appreciated.
I will concentrate on paying for the neccessities first. I won't spend any money on anything else. I just hope ther will be enough in the bank to cover that part.



Annie64 -> RE: What have I done? (4/7/2008 2:39:16 AM)

Wow, Beck! I'm praying for you and your family![sm=hug.gif][sm=hug.gif]

God will not abandon you because you made some mistakes. Keep trusting in Him. I know that sounds like a platitude and it's easier said than done, but I'll be praying for you, that you'll be able to trust Him with this, and find some peace.



Beck34 -> RE: What have I done? (4/7/2008 8:05:03 AM)

Thank you so much! I know that I have to trust Him in this. It is just so hard when I know that my children are depending on me. This fear overwelms me sometimes! I am going to try to have a positive attitude in all of this, but it is so hard when everything is on the line.



Papa-san -> RE: What have I done? (4/7/2008 9:58:18 AM)

If your account is in a negative state, the bank WILL take ALL of their money first, No matter what. Any checks you get, take them to the issuing bank to cash them. Stop the direct deposit if you have it. You can use your next check to open a new account. Shop around and find one that doesn't charge a monthly fee. The baank isn't going to miss their two hundred as bad as you will.

Go into a "Family First" mode that keeps every available penny in your pocket. The credit card and loan company can wait. Are they gonna take your birthday? Not likely. If you have a mortgage, that bank CAN take your home.

If you do have a mortgage, you can contemplate selling the house. If you don't, look for a place with a lower rent payment.

I have to go, but I will be back with the rest of this post!

Hang in there!



rainbowtvp -> RE: What have I done? (4/7/2008 10:41:48 AM)

Well... I agree- if your account is overdrawn- DO NOT deposit money or cash checks there right now. You will need to pay this debt, but you need to get everything else straightened out first.

We had some major money problems for a while. It is easy and can happen to anyone. It only takes a couple of mistakes for things to get out of control. Let go of your guilt.

Here's what I did:

1) I got out my Bible and wrote down every verse (by hand) that I could find dealing with money. There were pages worth, but this was really helpful to me.

2) Write down EVERY expense we have each month and every penny we have coming in (I actually did this for a whole year- putting everyhting in by it's due date and including things like quarterly bills (water, etc and birthdays, etc). I planned out what would be paid with each paycheck.

3) For the debt, I made sure I knew everything that we owed and I prioritized them- first getting all current things up-to-date: our checking account, utilities, etc; then the outstanding ones I paid off smallest- highest, settling with the companies when I could.

4) For the above to work, I cut out every unnecessary expense I could.

Some places suggest writing down EVERY penny you spend for a month so you can get a better look at what you are actually spending.

There are financial counseling services out there that are free/cheap that are non-profit. Look into those.

As for the bank- go down in person and sit there with them with your checkbook and have them go over it with you.

You may have been overdrawn, then with their charges, etc. lost track of how far under you were. Sometimes if there are a lot of charges, they will knock some off- esp if it has not happened before.

It is VERY important to always know exactly how much is in your account. It is very easy with debit, etc. to spend money and "forget."

God doesn't expect us to never make mistakes- he just expects us to learn from them!

Tara P



Beck34 -> RE: What have I done? (4/7/2008 11:27:47 AM)

Maybe, i should just skip using my debit card for now. Then, I can keep track of things better. I guess it really is a good idea for me to write every single thing down. As far as my check goes, it goes in direct deposit, and I can't fix that until after I get out of the hospital. The bank won't budge on this point about the fees because I have been behind for about a month. I finally broke down and told my husband that I was way behind, but when he asked me how much, I had a hard time telling him because of everything else that is going on. He pays all of the primary bills with his check. It was my responsibility to buy groceries and pay one other bill out of my check, and I can't even do that right. I feel like such a loser, but I know that God is going to help me through this. I just have to put his portion first, and I know the rest will come with time. I am just trying to get all of this sorted out before he gets laid off, and the burden falls on me to pay every thing.
I started selling Avon ,but I kept dip[ping into those funds in order to pay bills, and then, I would replace it with money from my paycheck. Then I had some stuff come out of my account that I didn't plan for, checks were overdrafts, and so, that trend continues.
The only thing that I know to do at this point is to have my husband buy groceries for the next couple of weeks until I get it all straightened out.



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: What have I done? (4/7/2008 12:45:02 PM)

quote:

Maybe, i should just skip using my debit card for now. Then, I can keep track of things better. I guess it really is a good idea for me to write every single thing down.


Ummmm...yes, yes, and yes!! Write it *ALL* down, including the $1.50 you spend on a bottle of soda. Though, at this point, I'd cut out everything except what you absolutely need to survive, so you shouldn't have a whole lot of little unnecessary expenses to write down.

Is your problem overspending, or disorganization, or both?

I suggest you call Dave Ramsey, actually, for some hope. He may get after you about the payday loan, but by the time he's done with you, you will have some practical advice, a script to deal with harassing creditors if you need that, and some hope that things can get better.



rainbowtvp -> RE: What have I done? (4/7/2008 1:03:42 PM)

You do realize that if you are overdrawn on your account, EVERY purchase and EVERY check is likely racking up another fee (and at my bank the feesincrease with each one!).

They deduct the fees from your balance... so... let's say that you had $400 in the bank. And you spent 350... then accidentally wrote a check for 100. You are automatically at -50 now. So, you put in 50 and think you are even, BUT on top of that they took out their fee. We'll say $25. So, you are still -25.

If you understand that already, I apologize, but I know some people think that the fees are some kind of separate fines and don't realize it affects their balance. And then they write another check or make a debit purchase thinking they know their balance (but they didn't adjust for fees). And with each purchase, they are losing more.

A lady was on the news recently here who was $8000 under because she didn't understand the fee schedule and how it affected her balance.

Tara P



Beck34 -> RE: What have I done? (4/7/2008 1:10:35 PM)

I don't know who this man is that you speak of. I have never heard of him. I guess my problem is disorganization. I just don't know where to begin accept to see what my under balance is and leave my account alone until my next payday. Then, I will deduct the underbalance, and I will see what I have left after that. Then, I will write everything that I owe down, and I will go from there. I know it will be alot of hard work, but I know that God is going to help me through this. I also know that God is teaching me a valuable lesson about trusting Him with not only this, but everything else.



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: What have I done? (4/7/2008 1:29:20 PM)

www.daveramsey.com The call is free to you. [:D]

quote:

Then, I will write everything that I owe down,


Go ahead and do that now. Don't wait for the paycheck. Start writing things down and getting them onto paper and in your head. Plan your next move. You should have a general idea of what the next paycheck will be, so work it out on paper now.

Do you have a budget/spending plan?



crh737 -> RE: What have I done? (4/7/2008 1:50:29 PM)

Also keep all your receipts, this will help you to see where all your money is being spent and for what.
You can learn what you can do without.

I agree do not right anymore checks or debit card for now. Banks do charge daily compound interest for everyday they are not paid. BTDT
My b/f bounced a check and by the time he went to the bank they took $105 for $35.

Cash your check from where it is written against and start a budget. You may have to do the evelope system until you can get this under control.

Never put your business money with your personal fianances, later if you become successful and at some point run into a snag you can lose your personal items.

They should be kept separate at all times.

Do not panic, it will take time but it will get straightened out.

Pay the bank something every week from your check, so as not to build a large balance with them. But before you do this, make sure you have bought groceries, paid for your utilities and saved a portion for gas or transportation. Then whatever you have left pay to the bank, so you can get rid of this.

Also I agree you should find a bank who does not impose these fees. I bank at a credit Union which for me is more people friendly and will work with you.
Okay take a deep breath and relax, it's not as bad as you think. Beleive me I've seen and have been in a worse situation.
Also *never* forget our God is not a punishing God. He is always with you and will never forsake you. You are precious to Him and He has a purpose for you.
You will learn from this and it will help you in your next business endeavor, you will be the wiser
Blessings
CRH



Papa-san -> RE: What have I done? (4/7/2008 10:24:25 PM)

I also wanted to explain something about the payday loans. I have seen people end up paying out over $800.00 for a $100.00 loan! Please do yourself a favor, and don't ever do one of these again!

This is like the first one you want to pay off. I cannot imagine what the interest rate is.
Crown Financial is another good resource for you if the other guy doesn't work out for you. Going through their 'Money-map" was one of the best things I could have done!



Beck34 -> RE: What have I done? (4/8/2008 6:32:18 AM)

I have made a list of what is coming out. I haven't written any checks or took out any more loans. I am going to take a good look at my bank statements, and I am going to see what has been withdrawn that I can't acount for. Then, I will figure out how many checks it will take to clear this up. I won't touch my bank account until I have a positive balance. As for all of my bills....I will have my husband to buy the groceries for the next couple of weeks until I get this sorted out. The envelope idea was a good one. How do I go about implementing that idea? I am trying to get better organized so this doesn't happen again.



earthless -> RE: What have I done? (4/8/2008 8:27:35 AM)

I HIGHLY recommend Crown Financial Ministry to you.



wordsnpic -> RE: What have I done? (4/8/2008 9:35:10 AM)

Dave Ramsey is excellent. Find classes in your area by going online at www.daveramsey.com. You will meet people that are in your same shoes and dave ramsey outlines some good strategies to help you get back into control. I urge you to do this. It has helped me tremendously.



GroupW -> RE: What have I done? (4/8/2008 9:47:14 AM)

Were you able to get back into your account online?

A few other things you might try:
1) check your account balance every day. Sometimes expenses just kind of "sneak" in there.
2) update your balance on your check register or an Excel spreadsheet every day when you check your balance.
3) balance the check register against your online balance every day. If you're not sure how to do that PM me. I'd be happy to slap together a quick spreadsheet for you if you have a computer with Excel.
4) On your check register or spreadsheet, write down what each expense was - gas, groceries, lunch etc.

The "every day" thing won't be forever, but until you get a handle on where your money is going, it can be a huge help.



Beck34 -> RE: What have I done? (4/8/2008 5:12:08 PM)

I will try this! I am so glad for all of the help I am recieving. It is amazing how good God is to send all of this information to me. I am taking notes on all of this so I can get straight.



creationtalk -> RE: What have I done? (4/8/2008 9:56:12 PM)

In addition to the financial advice you are getting...if you are concerned about having food for your family, go to your church, any helps organizations in the area, WIC etc and see if you can get some assistance there. There may be a church in your area that serves as a food bank--at my church, people can pick up food once a month; usually quite a lot. Eligibility is based on # in family and income.



pbaribeault -> RE: What have I done? (4/10/2008 12:03:00 PM)

It sounds also like you need to cut expenses.

In the area of groceries, may I recommend an old fashioned food budget involving plenty of rice, oatmeal, potatoes, pasta and home made bread? Milk, veggies and fruit of course shouldn't be cut, but things like cheese, yogurt & other processed foods can be done without. You especially don't need things like cookies, chips, side dish mixes etc.

Meat is your most expensive item (aside from packaged stuff that's mostly junk) so you might consider having meat only at supper time (maybe not even every day) and a smaller portion of it per person, filling up the plate with rice or potatoes and veggies instead. It's both heathier and cheaper (Husbands often object to this, but since he has his own split-up income, he is free to bring home extra 'bacon' if he is feeling squeezed by the budget you have to adopt.)

Many of your 'groceries' are probably luxury items. Try thinking through the absolute cheapest way to meet your family's need for nutrition (not necessarily their desire for food they really enjoy).

Breakfast:
Oatmeal - Microwave from scratch (optional: raisins, brown sugar)
Milk
Fresh Fruit
Optional: tea/coffee (optional sugar)

Lunch:
Bread (Home made from ordinary flour, either plain with butter or with optional sandwich spreads, maybe even cheese or meat, but not both.)
2 Fresh Veggies
Fresh Fruit
Water (optional: cold tea)

Supper:
Potatoes, Rice or Pasta
2 or 3 cooked veggies, or a salad (dressing: oil, vinegar, salt, pepper, garlic salt)
Small portion of lean meat (about the size of a hockey puck, or thin slices or ground)
(or a combination dish that doesn't call for extra things like canned goods - soups or stews are easy)
Milk

Optional Snacks / Desserts:
Popcorn (from kernels)
Home made Cookies (without expensive ingredients like chocolate chips or too much butter)
Home made Loafs (banana bread, cinnamon loaf, lemon loaf, zucchini bread)
Bread Pudding
Fresh Fruit
Nuts or Seeds



Beck34 -> RE: What have I done? (4/14/2008 8:56:05 AM)

That sounds like a really good plan. I have cut out extra expenses, and I have had my husband to buy some groceries while I get my account straightened out. I had thought about trying to get a bigger loan so I can consolidate all of my debt, but I felt like that might not be a good idea given the situation. I am trying to do this the old fashioned way by getting only what I need and concentrating on paying my debt off a little at a time. I have stopped trying to pay everything at once, and I am trying to incorporate a better system of organization. I have prayed about this situation, and God is showing, through you, the way to solve these problems. We are doing the oatmeal thing in the morning. I have also cut our lunch selection down to Ramen noodles and bolonga sandwiches. I have also cut the meat at evening time down as well as limiting it to certain days of the week. On the nights we don't have meat, I am doing dried beans and cornbread. I am finding that the kids are taking to this rather well, and I have cut my meals down to two a day in order to pay tithe every week. I know I will make it through this time. Thanks for all of your help!



GroupW -> RE: What have I done? (4/14/2008 12:32:38 PM)

Most excellent. Hopefully this will all be resolved soon.

Congrats on getting a handle on it.

BT



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