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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 8/6/2005 2:53:57 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
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Some things i've been feeling/thinking lately......so, i'll just add it......
Part of the working diagnosis comes w/a part that if ever i do get married, it will be really hard to have children. I do take comfort in the fact that the Lord says, He is the one that opens and closes the womb.......but, the question came to mind, if this is the case, would i turn into one of those bitter women who have no compassion in their hearts for teen parents, and those families split apart by abuse, etc. I was talking this over w/my mom, forget about talking the idea of cancer, my thought was on future children......  drives my momma crazy......lol but, i've heard of these women, and could see how easily it could be to turn into one of these. mom gave me some thoughts and was like, if this is the case, then u could be the one that shows these people what a miracle it is to even have little ones. You could change their perspective. And this conversation that i had popped into my head, i was talking to a married friend at church, around my age who had waited about 7 years to start to have little ones, she did eventually get pregnant, and is going through fine w/it. But, i told her, forget about waiting......i am soo ready to be a mommy. Well, atleast in my head. She laughed and was like, well, the Lord has his timing, or something.......arghh.....i dont want to make an idol out of any children, u know what i mean?!?!? Maybe this is the way the Lord is like, u'll have to depend on me......another test of faith. wow, just came to that thought while writing this out.
I mean, i do soooo believe the whole of this life is preparing us for an eternity w/Him. Molding us, breaking us, chiseling us scraping off the edges. Wow......changes our whole outlook on life.
Interesting.....lol
Comforting to know my God, the Creator of the Universe, knows the end from the beginning......and has my best interest at heart!
Rosie.
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 8/8/2005 11:04:07 AM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
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well, i leave today to go back up there for more tests tomorrow......wow, what a whirlwind it has been!!!!!
So, i'll not be here, until i get back. talk to u all then.
Rosie.
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 8/11/2005 6:23:36 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
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Tired of talking medical stuff right now, so will take a break!!! 
Sunday was that guys, Garrets b-day, (my friend from last year)....long story if u all dont know about it.....lol i only remembered cuz it is the day after my older sisters b-day, and we all did something special last year, so it kindof stuck in my head!!! lol Well, i had a card all ready to give to him if i saw him at church, but i havent seen him for a good couple of months......and w/the medical stuff all happening, this past week, i didnt get in in the mail on time, sooooo, today, i sat down and just penned a newsy happy birthday card. I did include my number......cuz, he did change phones and could of lost mine.....lol i dont know......i dont usually live in the past w/friends......i mean, i think about my time in Peru, and last year my time at the preschool, and my mind lingers on stuff like that, but.......not really w/friends......but, w/him and that other guy, the navy guy.......i am constantly remembering things that were done, things they said, times we spent together........i dont know if anything will come of this......i mean, i only have his parents address......so, sent it there. Not really expecting anything......but, if there is a response that would be really spiffy.....lol
And then, spent a couple of hours at the preschool where i worked last year.......all of my babies in the 4 year old class. Came in right after nap......man....they are all precious. hugs and teacher come play w/me.....were heard.......made my heart sing. The new teacher that took my place was like, they ask about u all of the time......the parents and the little ones!
sooo, thats about it!
its amazing though about my marine friend up in VA.....he's waiting for his medical records to be sent, and i've been hearing that he seems to be slowly being pulled back into the world again......we ended up talking recently, and i was like, i dont know who u r anymore......u have the head knowledge of the scripture and when we talk its pretty encouraging.....but, where does it go from there??? He totally listened and ended up thanking me, i mean, we talked some more about other stuff, but the conversation ended......later on he's like, if u dont hear from me for a while, cuz i just need time to develop myself, and to regain a sense of clarity.
I was like, wow......my thinking is that, i tend to shy away from getting close to people.....i mean, i'll listen, and am pretty good at that, but, keep all of my thoughts to myself.......sometimes the people arent really interested in hearing, but sometimes they are. anywayz......i've just learned a lot about myself concerning how to really be a friend, and its pretty amazing.
I guess thats about it for now!
Rosie.
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 8/13/2005 5:54:13 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
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sent this e-mail to a friend of mine.....i was supposed to start work today!!! But, got a call last night, and then........
Like an hour after i e-mailed u, my phone rang, and it was the group home....calling saying that the city wasnt going to allow them to open up today as there is an old law on the books saying that u cant have foster kids that close together. There would of been 3 homes of 12 kids in each really close. So, the city said no way!!!! They only opened up 2 homes. I was like, wow....after all of the homes got ready and the children picked. I can just imagine the case managers w/the kiddies who will be coming in. Crazy turmoil for these little ones! Ugh! Well, anywayz, she said it might be up to a month until they open up the next group home.
Well, i shared all of this w/mom last night. And then got a phone call from her this morning. They had gone down earlier this past week to visit the Migrant Charter school, and they were like, Rosie, u would of fallen in love w/the place, faces of the babies up on the wall. Mom said it reminded her of my apartment.....=) Anywayz.....she and the director got to talking, mostly about donations from thrift stores/churches over here, and if they could use them or not. Well.....the director then said, that if this job i was working in didnt work out, that i should go down there and she would hire me. I was like, wow. I mean, earlier i had sent them my resume, and they had asked for an interview.....but, that is still touching. The group home people knew i had gotten other offers and had asked me if i was still interested in staying, or was i going to leave.
So, that is where my dillemma is......searching out the will of God....i feel this is a huge pivotal time in my life. I mean, the migrant charter school is under a Christian authority......and it would be cool to be back in the S. American community. I mean, w/Head Start, i trully loved being in the classroom. Ended up going back to the preschool and visiting my class from last year, the babies all were like, Miss Rosie come play w/us. The parents all gave hugs and were like, where r u now?!?! But, then is there a teen that i could minister to....and through words and deeds share the love of Christ. I'd be able to go to church and fellowship w/the believers if i went w/the school, but then maybe sometime down the road i could bring some of the teens to church.
Soo, this is where i'm at right now. Monday, i might be going down to Naples to go and visit the whole migrant place ohh, and by the way the webpage is......http://www.rcma.org/ just in case u were interested....=)
Guess thats about it for now!
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 8/14/2005 2:47:36 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
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This is from the Myers-Briggs Personality test, i had copied it and put it on my parents computer, but found it in the recycle bin......lol so, thought i'd stick it here, for safe keeping.
Had an awesome Lords day so far......worship time and the service, and the Singles study this AM was what my soul has needed. Awww....to have the hope of Christ, blessedness. Looking forward to going to that migrant place tomorrow. How incredibly awesome the Lord is. Right now, i am leaning that if they do offer me a job, that that is where i should go. I'd have to move out of here, but, i'd still be in this crazy state.....lol Still keeping it in prayer, that the Lord would direct, and that i wouldnt be in the way!
Rosie.
The primary desire of the Protector Guardian is to be of service to others, but here ?service? means not so much furnishing others with the necessities of life (the Provider?s concern), as guarding others against life?s pitfalls and perils, that is, seeing to their safety and security. There is a large proportion of Protectors in the population, perhaps as much as ten percent. And a good thing, because they are steadfast in their protecting, and seem fulfilled in the degree they can insure the safekeeping of those in their family, their circle of friends, or their place of business.
Protectors find great satisfaction in assisting the downtrodden and can deal with disability and neediness in others better than any other type. They go about their task of caretaking modestly, unassumingly, and because of this their efforts are not sometimes fully appreciated. They are not as outgoing and talkative as the Providers, except with close friends and relatives. With these they can chat tirelessly about the ups and downs in their lives, moving (like all the Guardians) from topic to topic as they talk over their everyday concerns. However, their shyness with strangers is often misjudged as stiffness, even coldness, when in truth these Protectors are warm-hearted and sympathetic, giving happily of themselves to those in need.
Their quietness ought really to be seen as an expression, not of coldness, but of their sincerity and seriousness of purpose. Like all the Guardians, Protectorss have a highly developed puritan work ethic, which tells them that work is good, and that play must be earned-if indulged in at all. The least hedonic of all types, Protectors are willing to work long, long hours doing all the thankless jobs the other types seem content to ignore. Thoroughness and frugality are also virtues for Protectors. When they undertake a task, they will complete it if at all humanly possible; and they know the value of material resources and abhor the squandering or misuse of these resources. Protectors are quite content to work alone; indeed, they may experience some discomfort when placed in positions of authority, and may try to do everything themselves rather than insist that others do their jobs.
With their extraordinary commitment to security, and with their unusual talent for executing routines, Protectors do well in many careers that have to do with conservation: curators, private secretaries, librarians, middle-managers, police officers, and especially general medical practitioners. To be sure, the hospital is a natural haven for them; it is home to the family doctor, preserver of life and limb, and to the registered nurse, or licensed practical nurse, truly the angels of mercy. The insurance industry is also a good fit for Protectors. To save, to put something aside against an unpredictable future, to prepare for emergencies?these are important actions to Protectors, who as insurance agents want to see their clients in good hands, sheltered and protected.
The actor Jimmy Stewart and Mother Teresa are examples of Protector Guardian style.
SFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed." In extreme cases, this need is so strong that standard give-and-take relationships are deeply unsatisfying to them; however, most ISFJs find more than enough with which to occupy themselves within the framework of a normal life. (Since ISFJs, like all SJs, are very much bound by the prevailing social conventions, their form of "service" is likely to exclude any elements of moral or political controversy; they specialize in the local, the personal, and the practical.)
ISFJs are often unappreciated, at work, home, and play. Ironically, because they prove over and over that they can be relied on for their loyalty and unstinting, high-quality work, those around them often take them for granted--even take advantage of them. Admittedly, the problem is sometimes aggravated by the ISFJs themselves; for instance, they are notoriously bad at delegating ("If you want it done right, do it yourself"). And although they're hurt by being treated like doormats, they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work (which is supposed to be a virtue in itself). (And as low-profile Is, their actions don't call attention to themselves as with charismatic Es.) Because of all of this, ISFJs are often overworked, and as a result may suffer from psychosomatic illnesses.
In the workplace, ISFJs are methodical and accurate workers, often with very good memories and unexpected analytic abilities; they are also good with people in small-group or one-on-one situations because of their patient and genuinely sympathetic approach to dealing with others. ISFJs make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles. They are capable of forming strong loyalties, but these are personal rather than institutional loyalties; if someone they've bonded with in this way leaves the company, the ISFJ will leave with them, if given the option. Traditional careers for an ISFJ include: teaching, social work, most religious work, nursing, medicine (general practice only), clerical and and secretarial work of any kind, and some kinds of administrative careers.
While their work ethic is high on the ISFJ priority list, their families are the centers of their lives. ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well. When these include Es who want to socialize with the rest of the world, or self-contained ITs, the ISFJ must learn to adjust to these behaviors and not interpret them as rejection. Being SJs, they place a strong emphasis on conventional behavior (although, unlike STJs, they are usually as concerned with being "nice" as with strict propriety); if any of their nearest and dearest depart from the straight-and-narrow, it causes the ISFJ major embarrassment: the closer the relationship and the more public the act, the more intense the embarrassment (a fact which many of their teenage children take gleeful advantage of). Over time, however, ISFJs usually mellow, and learn to regard the culprits as harmless eccentrics :-). Needless to say, ISFJs take infinite trouble over meals, gifts, celebrations, etc., for their loved ones--although strong Js may tend to focus more on what the recipient should want rather than what they do want.
Like most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice. (However, like most Fs they hate confrontation; if you get into a fight, don't expect them to jump in after you. You can count on them, however, run and get the nearest authority figure.) Unlike with EPs, the older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it. One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven't known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling. For instance, an ISFJ child may be reproved for "sulking," the actual cause of which is a combination of physical illness plus misguided "good manners." An adult ISFJ may drive a (later ashamed) friend or SO into a fit of temper over the ISFJ's unexplained moodiness, only afterwards to explain about a death in the family they "didn't want to burden anyone with." Those close to ISFJs should learn to watch for the warning signs in these situations and take the initiative themselves to uncover the problem.
Functional Analysis
by Joe Butt
Introverted Sensing
As for ISTJs, the dominant Si is oriented toward the world of forms, essences, generics. Again, "for both of the IS_J types, the sense of propriety comes from the clear definition of these internal forms. ... A 'proper' chair has four legs," etc. (Jung saw IS as something of an oxymoron: sensing, which is a perceiving function, focused inward and thus away from that which is perceived (the "object"). In this light, he described this sensing as something removed from reality, full of archetypes/mythical figures/hobgoblins; sensing of one's own set of forms.)
Extraverted Feeling
A kind of "regression toward the mean" provided by the Fe auxiliary function serves to socialize the expression of these forms. I suppose it's the auxiliary nature of this Feeling, coupled with the balancing effect of {detachment from the internal idiosyncratic view of free-floating data perceptions} that makes ISFJs tentative, conservative, and reticent to boldly state the rights and wrongs in the relational world. (Loosely translated, ISFJs like to keep their perceptions to themselves, and aren't sure enough that what they "see" as Introverted Sensors has any relevance to the outside world. Thus the perception, based on unworldly data, may not be true. The obedient Extraverted Feeling function must therefore refrain from strong statements expressing these opinions.)
Introverted Thinking
Introverted Thinking is turned inward and is largely invisible. It is only with great difficulty, if at all, that the ISFJ could willingly commit anyone to their doom. Perhaps this explains why ISFJs are loyal to the end; there is no sense of purely objective (i.e., impersonal) judgement of anyone but themselves (and that only by their own standards). Here is this type's achilles heel that makes many of them so vulnerable to the scoundrels and ne'er-do-wells who often use and abuse them.
Extraverted iNtuition
ISFJs are easily undone by Extraverted iNtuition, their inferior function. Believing in the fantastic, and disbelieving the technologically extant, are errors that my guide the gullible (or unfoundedly sceptical) ISFJ off a precipice of mis-conclusion. (One of our co-workers' mothers adamantly refused to believe that Dave Letterman's mom was actually at the olympics in Norway talking with the athletes and handing out hams! She suspected technological trickery.)
This childlike Ne is, however, the likely source (coupled with fun-loving Extraverted Feeling) of the practical joking, punning and (usually harmless) impishness of some ISFJs.
Famous ISFJs:
Louisa May Alcott
Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Queen Elizabeth II of England
Robert E. Lee
Queen Mary I ("Bloody Mary") of England
Fictional:
Bianca in Taming of the Shrew
David Copperfield
Hero in Much Ado About Nothing
Melanie in Gone With The Wind
Ophelia in Hamlet
Dr. John H. Watson, M.D. (Sherlock Holmes' faithful sidekick)
U.S. Presidents:
William Howard Taft
Johnny Carson, comedian
Jerry Seinfeld
Kristi Yamaguchi, US Olympic figure skater
Copyright © 1996-2005 Marina Margaret Heiss and Joe Butt
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 8/16/2005 2:59:54 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
Status: offline
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Well, hello and howdy!!!!
Spent the day yesterday by myself.......man, i needed that!!!!!! W/all of the stress of the past 2 weeks in general, i've been internalizing EVERYTHING!!!! and not being a happy camper!!!! Sooo, decided i needed major time alone w/me and God!!!!! Ended up mostly staying in my apartment, some friends called and that was cool. I put a call into that migrant school......and am in wait mode yet again!!!!!! But, God in His wisdom brings words to calm my ever troubled soul.......we are going through the book of Hebrews now in church and Sunday we were in chapter 11......let me find the verse!
Heb 11:8 [Urged on] by faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed and went forth to a place which he was destined to receive as an inheritance; and he went, although he did not know or trouble his mind about where he was to go.
We talked the whole sermon on Abraham, comparing the Genesis account and others who gave up everything to follow the Lord. But, this verse stuck in my head......He did not know or trouble his mind about where he was to go!!!!!
How many times have i troubled my mind w/picking apart all of the options. I became a wreck Friday thinking that the job w/the teens had just fallen through, then trying to figure out what i was supposed to do, then feeling guilty about wanting to get out of that job.......i mean, i could see myself working years w/this migrant school. Right up there w/just planting myself into a latin american country!!!!! **drooling at the thought** lol but, seriousley, now i put the call in, and im like, now what?!?!?! I'm not one to hound people......drives my momma crazy.....but, i'm like, No.....this isnt supposed to be this way. God knows the end from the beginning, i mean, it doesnt mean not to "do" things.....but, there should be a measure of peace......patience, etc, etc.....lol Ok......goodness, writing this is pretty therauputic......
On the happy side of things, i've reconnected w/a pastor friend over in California.....we met like 12 years ago....at some Bible camp..(i guess i have one long standing friend)....lol and through the years we've just kept e-mailing......recently its shifted to some personal stuff, which is cool, cuz he is a dear man. And has quite the beautiful heart. Here he is a pastor, a small church, so had to work, well, he's been working at a group home for boys over the past 11 years. We've swapped some stories...lol about the kiddies we work with. but, now he wants to spend more time in the Word......and is hoping to get a job as a PE teacher/mentor at a school near by his house. When he told me that, i kindof went off, and gushed alot..... cuz, its pretty special when people reveal their hearts....for me, i keep mine pretty hidden until i am sure they can be trusted, so its like, wow.....when i hear someone elses song of their heart...... (a little poetry there).....lol
Well, i know the above has absolutely nothing to do w/nothing.......lol but, i'm thinking about just writing something, every now and then about the dear people in my life. The Lord has caused our lives to cross for a reason, which is something when u realize all of the millions of people in the world, the Lord had u to meet for a time. I hang onto everything, losing people is the most painful thing for me......sometimes i can see the Lords hand, cuz my focus soo easily shifts onto that person, and off of Him! So, am ever trying to guard my heart more, and to just be thankful that wave lingered on the shore.
Heb 11:13 These people all died controlled and sustained by their faith, but not having received the tangible fulfillment of [God's] promises, only having seen it and greeted it from a great distance by faith, and all the while acknowledging and confessing that they were strangers and temporary residents and exiles upon the earth. [Gen. 23:4; Ps. 39:12.] Heb 11:14 Now those people who talk as they did show plainly that they are in search of a fatherland (their own country). Heb 11:15 If they had been thinking with [homesick] remembrance of that country from which they were emigrants, they would have found constant opportunity to return to it. Heb 11:16 But the truth is that they were yearning for and aspiring to a better and more desirable country, that is, a heavenly [one]. For that reason God is not ashamed to be called their God [even to be surnamed their God--the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob], for He has prepared a city for them. [Exod. 3:6, 15; 4:5.]
Rosie!
ps....the above quotes from The Amplified Bible!
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 8/16/2005 7:33:03 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
Status: offline
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A dear friend e-mailed this to me.....the second paragraph was when i was like, huh?? U lost me.......good things to mull over.....so, thought i'd post it here.
God is gracious. I was thinking today of His glory. When we see a glimpse, we rejoice. Yet, He doesn't allow us to abide in rejoicing, lest we worship the fruit and not the God.
We see His glory - the excellency of His grace. He gives answers to prayers in the word. Then, we rejoice. But soon, it goes away. Why? Have we ceased to believe? Maybe, we have lost focus. But, often, the joy itself would be worshipped, instead of the God that sent the word.
So, lest we rejoice in the fruit and forget Christ, He gives dampness of soul, so that we cannot see Christ's glory. We cannot see what caused us to rejoice, and life is vain. Then, we put eyes on Christ again, and rejoicing or PEACE returns.
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 8/18/2005 3:44:59 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
Status: offline
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Well hello u all.....
Some interesting things.....lol   
Ok.....last night was church.....and i was getting ready to go thinking it would just be another awesome time of worship and stuff......well......here goes my tale!!
I was sitting in the seat, had saved some next to me for an older couple i am friends with......so, everytime people would come in through the doors i'd look over to see if it was them......well, in walks this one guy A......met him at the singles group on Sunday, he comes over and sits down and is like, ohh, is this where the singles come and sit?? I was like, well, i havent really seen any of the other singles here on Wed. he was like, ohh.....well, we started talking......just sharing where we are right now, how our week has gone, etc. Well, soon my friendz come but, the didnt see me, and so sit in front of me and this guy.......well, i wave them over and am like, come and sit here if u want to?? They were like sure......this guy is like, wow, i didnt know u had a following, i was like, umm.....they are good friendz.......anywayz, after my couple friend sit down, in comes another guy from the singles on Sunday morning this is T......and he sits down next to the other guy. Well, we listen to the service.....and then its over and so we all get up to go.....and we all walk out together, me and the guys.....well, on the way out we see this other guy he is S, getting a cup of coffee so we all head over to him and start talking......ofcourse the topic is cars, and i'm like, wow....this is fun.....lol A keeps looking at me and is like, is it this boring, and i was like yep....lol but, it was fun listening to them all talk. S finally leaves and the conversation ends about cars. So, then the 3 of us grab a table and start to talk.....for the next 2 hours!!!! lol the church starts flashing the lights in the lobby, and then we go back out.....we didnt leave till around 10:30, and church gets out at 8:30......my heart was sooo full after talking to them. T was like, u two want to come over tomorrow evening??? A was like, yeah, i'll be there.....and T was like, r u going to come?? I was like sure......
We even talked about some insecurities......i never talk about insecurities w/hardly anyone.....but, it was like, wow......it was just really sweet.
I see God changing my heart, and how i interact w/people.....and that is neat!
Rosie.
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 8/21/2005 6:28:18 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
Status: offline
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Well, didnt get in the movie as attitudes were flying, and i just left......and had a nice quiet evening by myself....lol
Anywayz.....i'll continue......so, yeah.....got a call on Thursday from Head Start, they were like, come back.....i got some ideas and said i'll call u back Friday.....well, Friday i went to the Migrant school, met the principal, took a tour, drove around the town.......poor, soo poor, goodness.....my heart was soo upset, at what is here in America. Anywayz....it was pretty sweet seeing the children, i saw the classrooms, wow!!!! I am hooked....lol Well, called Head Start Friday, and they were like, well, i'll get the paperwork started and u could prob. start on Wed. I was like coool beans!!! And, then when i got home, i had an e-mail from another charter school from this program, and they were like, unable to open your e-mail w/your resume, please resend. I was like, woah!!!! lol Cool stuff. So, that has been pretty sweet, i'll be here for a little bit longer, and being able to solidify w/the singles here different friendships.
Well, today was church, what a blessing. Well, ended up seeing Garret come in, while waiting for the singles bible study to start, w/a cute girl i'm assuming is his girlfriend. Sooo......any more ideas can quietly be put to rest. I am happy for them......I mean, she is a blessed girl.....but there were pangs of hurt......hurt for a friendship that ended, hurt for me letting my heart dream a little dream......i immediately thought of my new friends and was like, it would be pretty easy to put the brakes on friendships, from just my different experiences. I guess i was thinking, if i apologized enough, or whatever, or if i did something, or that i wasnt doing something to get these people back into my life. But, i sincerely did apologize, and it was a two way street. Grave miscommunications from everywhere. I was talking to a friend, and just saying how saddened my heart gets at times, and he was like, i dont regret anything that has happened in my life, even my mess ups, and other things.......all of that has contributed in making me the person i am. What a different way of looking at it. AGAIN putting a positive twist on something that could bring u to your knees and cause great anguish of the soul. My friendships w/Garret and Michael J. were at a time when i was working at a Domestic Violence Shelter, the midnight to 8 shift...(these two guys were brought into my life to let me see again, that there are "good guys" out there, my nights were filled w/talking to women being abused, and my days were filled w/dreams about abusive relationships, some scary nightmares)...when i was getting more indepth in the scripture, and trully seeing myself in the way that the Lord sees me. Which brings me to this place......where now i'm working w/precious babies....totally involved in a Singles Ministry, where i feel the love from everyone, and i can accept it......i can see that its not fake, my thoughts and ideas are listened to, and my quirks are for the most part accepted. Where i'm not wondering why are these guys being friendly?? Where there is a give and take in these relationships, of funny bantering but then also seriousness......and this isnt just in secret......i'd banter w/everybody last year in that other singles group afraid of showing me. The guys were like, u r such a different person alone then in a group. I'd hardly NEVER, ever talk........but, get in these great conversations before and after the group. But, now i feel comfortable in sharing.....i feel like i owe those guys from last year soo much. They started the engine of what are u thinking?? ugh.....i dont know. My friend in VA, also has probed the dark recesses of my thoughts. I really feel like i should bury those two guys......but, i dont know......i kindof feel like a death has occurred, i want to keep them alive in my memory, but not dwell on those things that bring sadness, and I want to live in the present w/the awesome people the Lord has placed in my life. He has blessed me immensely, i mean, the leader of our group Sunday mornings asked me about my job and I told him and he was like, wow?.that is great, and while he was praying he was like, Lord, please let her stay w/us in our group, and everybody laughed?..i was like, what a precious person!!!! Good memories?..now I feel like I am just repeating myself?..lol
I should skiddaddle. I guess what I'm saying, is that I thank God for the memories?.and thank Him for the new people in my life.
A friend just said this to me?..and just wanted to repeat it here??
instead of trying to REPAIR the group dynamics...u BUILD the group dynamics when u are genuinely happy...
ps....got busy w/a friend, this was a pretty long post i sat here......my attitude changed after thinking i should skiddaddle.....lol The Lord brought a peace.
Rosie.
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 8/22/2005 8:26:08 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
Status: offline
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Ok......wow......its sooo awesome as a Christian to be able to attribute things to the Lord!!!!!
Ok......i woke up kindof blue......i was going to write, i didnt know why, but, i do know some of it.......i just got to thinking, that my life is pretty rediculous at times......i dont know......sometimes i think of my dreams and wonder if thats what they will alwayz be......and then i'm like, why do i even dream.....and then it goes downhill from there.....anywayz......i got a phonecall from Head Start, and guess what?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I start tomorrow!!!!!! Its temp. BUT, i'll be at my old school w/the new 3 year old class.......alot are siblings from the kids i had last year. So, that is sooo exciting!
And......i just recieved an e-mail from a guy i knew in Peru.......wowowowowow......that totally made my day!!!!! He's like, he might be coming to the states as his brother lives here.......and he is a spiffy guy......totally into the things of the Lord......and knows how to play the guitar and the panflute and dance the Peruvian dance......he showed me all of that one time, till like the wee hours of the morning......soo, that is pretty exciting!
Rosie.
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 8/23/2005 4:42:21 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
Status: offline
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Hey you all......WOW what a day.....lol
Learned all of the names of the kids in my class today......it was a good day, forgot how tiring it is to chase after little ones.....and last night i didnt get to bed in a timely fashion, and here i am pretty tired.....lol
But, happy.
I'll write more later.
No stories yet......lol but, a little one today did come over to cuddle.....that alwayz makes me feel special. And my 4 year olds from last year, were like, wow......u r here.....lol and some of the parents were like, we've missed you!
i feel like i'm home. Thank you father, for these precious little ones and for allowing me the privilege of having them in my life!
Rosie.
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 8/24/2005 2:20:54 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
Status: offline
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Just posting a hello.....lol
Had an awesome day today!!!! And tonight is church......good stuff.....lol Even though, sometimes my heart burns w/the thought of making more money and being able to do more stuff.....*i just posted in should singles adopt* And i'd love to be able to do stuff like that, foster and adopt. and so every now and then i get the blues, cuz i'm like, i dont have the money to do this.....and the people who do have the money, well......some that i'm thinknig about dont do it......just build for themselves treasure on this earth. And this thinking quickly starts a downward spiral.......kindof of what i was talking about earlier regarding dreams and such. But......anywayz.....lol the lessons learned w/being a Head Start teacher is just invaluable.....in regards to dealing w/little ones.
I am excited about my life......and i doo soo believe and look at it as a journey.....and right now the Lord is like, this is what i want u to work on and deal w/right now. And that is a blessed thought!
Rosie!
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 8/25/2005 6:27:15 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
Status: offline
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Hey you all.......wow....again, what a wonderful day!!!! Though, my supervisor is a little ummmm......well, she i dont know......its like the center runs around her......ughhh, sometimes i wonder what she is thinking, esp. when she pulls me or my assistant from the classroom.
Anywayz.......today was an excellent day again......i've fallen in love w/my class yet again!!!! I just love how they respond to things, i love to watch them connect w/thoughts, and feelings, and just live!!! They remind me its ok to cry, to laugh, to sing, to run around and scream. I direct them during circle time, to learn new things, stretch their thoughts, think different things, but the rest of the day is just directing them at their play. I've found that when i sit w/them using the same material, but w/a different twist they all take it and run w/it. Coming up w/their own little picture/building. things i did last year later on in the year w/the 3's.....i'm doing now and its like, wow.....they are taking it in!!!!! I loooove books, and i love how once they are shown something, or introduced to something, they learn to love it also. ITs the MOST sweetest thing, to see 3's running to get a book during free choice and look at the pictures, or even ask me to read it to them. Love of books is something my mother passed on to me......and i hope to pass on to any child that comes across my path.......i mean, this love can take them ANYWHERE!!!!
I must say, i've been shaped by books, and dont think i'd be the same person w/out the influence of the things i've read. Little Women, the story of Mary Bunyan, (John Bunyans daughter, the man who wrote Pilgrims Progress), like, any Missionary Biography, books on other cultures and people.....explorers......man......my introverted self got away when things got crazy in elem. school and ran away w/these people!!! I run across people who dont read anything except computer books and the bible, but feel like, wow......u r missing out on life. I have two bookcases full of books in my apartment, of my most favoritest books........much to the chagrine of a lot of people....lol i can read a book, over and over, if i've fallen in love w/it.........
Anywayz......enough of that ramble.......lol
last night was awesome.......church was well, refreshing to my soul and spirit......i sat by my two guy friends and then Heather......and afterwards me and them sat again at a table and just chatted. Ofcourse i was gushing about my babies......but, i called them little monsters and the guys were like, thats really nice......lol just on Sunday u were calling them darlings and precious ones, but now just one day back u call them monsters?? Whats up w/that??? Another guy came over and we were all talking and i was like, yeah, i am finally back w/my babies......and one guy was like, yeah.....back w/her monsters.....i was like, whatever.....lol and then had to explain what i was saying. its just funny.....lol Its nice to banter, and then be serious......for like my whole life i didnt know how to get them together.
Us singles are all meeting tomorrow again, to start a new ministry. So, that should be interesting. I'm going w/an open mind.......to see what its all about. But, like some others were saying, i dont want to compromise who i am as a person. Last year i spent soo much time chasing after people and things.......that i lost sight of my true love, and really fell, pretty hard. But, its nice to know i have some kindred spirits, who really believe in Acts 2....the last couple of verses......meeting together, sharing bread, praying, etc......and the other thought of provoking one another to love and good works!
Guess i should skiddaddle.
Rosie.
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 8/26/2005 6:08:45 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
Status: offline
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Wow....what a Friday.....lol have i said that i just absolutely LOVE my job?!?!?!?! I mean, i have MAJOR issues w/my supervisor......      Ughhh.....but, thanx be to the Lord.....she is out alot, and i am away from her office......soo, all in all, those faces and moments are not for very long!!!! lol
Anywayz......my babies are soo precious......one little one, Marco....we were asking him.....in the morning the sun starts to shine, what happens when the sun goes down, or something like that and he says, the light goes out.....awwwwwwwwww...............wasnt that precious!!!! Of course this was said in Spanish to my assistant, but......still i was able to see just how precious that was!!!! One little girl told this little boy who was crying, that only babies cry, and then she ends up spending the greater part of the day crying for her momma!!!!! The langauage barrier is the hardest part for me to deal w/.......its hard to soothe a child when they have no idea what u r saying! Sometimes i'll say something in Spanish, and they'll repeat what i just said in Spanish in English......i'm like, ok......lol i'm glad they understood me?!?!?!
It is sooo heartwarming.....how thankful i am to God for this!!!!!!
and to top it all, my friend from Peru......or in Peru, he sent me another e-mail.....which is cool, cuz like i said we might only e-mail each other a couple of times a year. he and another group of guys have made up a band......that is pretty spiffy. good for them....... and he sent me a pic......pretty cool!
Anywayz......guess i should skiddaddle.
Rosie.
edited to add that those faces and moments are NOT for very long!!! lol
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 8/28/2005 5:22:10 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
Status: offline
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Too many things have been triggering memories from my time in Peru. I was just thinking, its been around 3 years since my visit there. WOW!!!! What a different person i was back then! What a simple life! I've said it, and i'll say it again, i never felt true love from people as when i was over there. I'm praying about starting something w/the young singles/adults to see if any are interested in helping the working poor in our state. First off, i am showering this w/prayer, and then seeing if the Lord is leading any to come and do this. I know there are some people who have "issues" w/helping the poor, giving handouts and such. But, the Lord speaks soo much on it......esp. the fact that it is better to give then to recieve. And that verse, if u offer a cup of cold water in my name, u do it onto me!!!! I look at my poor babies and their families......right now i can do just a little bit, but, i try and make my classroom fun, and am trying to help the little ones out for now.......my heart is weary w/the poverty.......here......and my city has resources. How much harder when there are no resources!!!!
I yearn to do Mercy Ministries......to help the whole person, physically and spiritually. To give that cup of cold water, but to be able to say how and why this is a burden on my heart!!! Dont get me wrong, i love my Head Start job......but, how spiffy would it be, to be able to do a Christian Head Start! Just some thoughts!
Rosie.
All I Need (I Did Not Catch Her Name)
I did not catch her name
I did not catch her tears
But they hit me like a train
When her story hit my ears
Mother of eight sons
Father off to war
Got no home address
Just bricks on a dirt floor
And she said, "Jesus is all I need"
Tiny plot of land
Corn stored up in piles
The years it doesn't rain
They just stay hungry for a while
With no fatted calf to kill
She made a feast of cuy and corn and said
Who else knew my name before
The day that I was born
Jesus is all I need
Jesus is all I need
And she bragged about her boys
And how they're growing into men
And how they learned to praise the Lord
Old style Ecuadorian
But to buy the new guitar
We had to sell the swine
See my boys go to school on a foreign angel's dime
This world calls me poor
I bore my babies on this floor
But He always provides
Sure as the sun will rise
So I sing Him songs of praise
'Cause I know He keeps me in His gaze
Rain fell from the sky
We raced back to the van
Tears in the eyes
Of this poor forgetful man
Mother of eight sons
She knows the peace of God
Lord, help me learn to lean on
Thy staff and Thy rod
Jesus is all I need
Jesus is all I need
Jesus is all I need
Jesus is all I need
--from the CD Share the Well, by Caedmons Call
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 9/2/2005 6:19:45 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
Status: offline
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Ok....am back.....i had things to say, but now dont really feel like getting it out......too much of a ramble even for me.
My heart is saddened for people......just heard there are 10 dead in the Convention Center in New Orleans.......one stillborn child who died last night, and a two year old who was trampled.
Praying for the people. May the Lord give them peace which passeth all understanding.
Rosie,
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 9/4/2005 5:59:04 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
Status: offline
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Well, I AM BACK!!! lol
Ok.....and update on myself!!!! Thursday spent the day in JAX.....wow.....what an exhausting trip......but, a good one. IVE lost 7 pounds in about 3 weeks, w/out even trying!!!!! I was like, whoah........AND......it looks like my hormonal levels arent bad at all......and i dont need medication to get everything back together, i still have Polycistic Ovaries.......but......the Dr. was like, if u lose the weight, u will be able to reverse everything!!!!!! It will be harder for me to lose the weight, as my insulin levels are all out of order, and the sugar, or something gets turned directly to fat, and not to something else.......and so it just stays there, or something......lol The Dr. was like, part of this isnt your fault......(my mom came in and heard it as well).....and i was almost in tears, as i've been thinking about my life journey.......hearing all of the sermons on our body is the temple, and things on gluttons, and thinking, i know all of this, and i'm not a glutton......i "failed" at weight watchers cuz nothing happened.....and i was like, forget this!!!!! and last year when i started at weight watchers, i was at my highest, i think......but, since then, i've lost about 20 pounds......soooooo, i am encouraged!!!!!!!! i look around and see soo many young women struggling.......sometimes the weight is there "fault", but sometimes it isnt.....and it will be great once i have a handle on myself.....to encourage these young women.
My heart is burdened for the little ones from the hurricane.......i looked into seeing if they need teachers in some of these areas......it sure would be something to be part of the emotional healing of the little ones......dont know if that is where the Lord would have me go......just investigating it. I could never imagine how ones brain sorts these images!!!!!
We heard about Moses in Hebrews 11.....how he was in the wilderness in Midian for 40 years......learning ground.......i soo feel like that in my own life......i know i have a calling on my life.....but, i know i'm not ready....i've tried to do things in my own life......like Moses delivering the Egyptians when he killed the one Egyptian it was through his own strength......not something the Lord had told him to do. And i have tried my own thing.....and saw it fail.......saw myself fail....etc. I know i'm young.....but, at times my heart ACHES to do what my heart is aching to do......lol trying to talk eloquently.....and it didnt work......
Had a good day today at church......pretty encouraged!!!! And....tomorrow getting together w/some friends......and hanging out, so that will be cool.
Rosie.
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 9/7/2005 1:54:41 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
Status: offline
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70th post.....lol pretty sweet.......
Also, tonight is church........what a blessing!
Rosie.
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 9/7/2005 2:00:32 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
Status: offline
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ohh, my friend the guy in VA.....well, his records came in, so now its just getting past the physical......and he will be a Marine. The Lord also, ****ed his heart to get out of that relationship w/that girl......so, that has been a pretty interesting picture to see unfold. He's asked me if i want to go up to the graduation......i dont know....that would be kindof weird. But, anywayz.....he will soon be off for about a 3 month bootcamp, if all goes as he hopes!
Rosie.
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 9/7/2005 2:02:19 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
Status: offline
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ok.....the starred word, is better to say, the Lord touched his heart!
lol never had that happen before.
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 9/8/2005 1:05:39 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
Status: offline
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Well, you all this week has been amazing! Sunday was an awesome day at church, and then Monday, i spent the day w/2 friends from church, one gal and a guy, and we ended up talking and hanging out from like 12:30 until around 9!!! We all got lunch, coffee and then hung out around the pool. It was such sweet fellowship, and the guy is a pretty cool guy as well.....last night was church, and we were all hanging out in the lobby afterwards, and another guy was w/us. So, me my friend and the two guys, and then my friend left. Well.....the two guys and me were talking, and they've found my buttons.....lol sooo, they were pushing them all evening. well, one of their birthdays is coming up......and so, i was like, are u going to get a big shindig together?? He was like, not planning anything......and i was like, ohh, u should.....well, he's like, i'd host it if someone wanted to plan it. Well.....i was like, yeah, i'll do it w/my other friend.....well, this guy was like, what about me??? I was like, u r a guy....lol he was like, ohh, that means what?? We ended up laughing cuz i was like, it means u arent detailed orientated. he was like, yeah, thats nice......or something. But, i just find it pretty amazing that he was like, what about me???
We ended up talking for a little bit more time, and then went outside and prayed together. That was pretty sweet. And then tomorrow we are all going to the homeless shelter to serve dinner. Sat. we are all getting together for dinner and dessert......and then Sun is church again.....lol pretty cool stuff.
My heart is soo encouraged by these people!
Rosie.
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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RE: Rosie's Ramblings!! - 9/9/2005 1:03:10 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1968
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
Status: offline
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Its Friday....my assistant ended up having to stay home due to a sick baby.....so, here i am w/all of my babies......it ended up being a beautiful day. We stayed mostly outside, walked over to a park down the street from the center. My heart gets all warm and cozy inside when i have a little hand in mine. And, one little one fell and ran right to me......and buried his little head in my neck......ahhhhh.................good stuff!
I'll wrtie more later.
Rosie.
_____________________________
.Jesus didn't send his disciples out as "Christian soldiers marching as to war." He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. Tom Ehrich www.actsofkindness.org
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