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Heart guarded from ????? - 4/14/2008 3:07:21 PM
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joy2give2u
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Over the past year the subject of guarding our hearts has been addressed many times in the singles threads.
Most of us have experienced enough of life with it's heartaches to find ourself cautious and a little bit guarded when it comes to relationships.
I have been thinking quite a bit about my heart lately. Observing it's ability(or lack of ability) to give and receive love.
I love.......but do I love as Christ did? He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give EVERYTHING to us. Do I love people, life, and even God with a love void of caution? A love willing to give everything, even my heart, to others. Am I suppose to?
How do we love, a love which goes way over the top what love looks like in normal life, a love which makes a bold statement so much so the world sees it as foolish, and guard our hearts at the same time?
Is it possible to love with such a extravagant love while guarding our hearts?
When I read discussions on guarding our heart it always seems to apply that guarding out hearts somehow has to do with emotions...... in particular love.
How can we love fully, as God calls us to do, and hold back our emotions?
Is it possible that guarding our hearts has nothing to do with emotions or love?
In Proverbs 4:23 we find the verse most commonly used to address guarding our hearts yet reading chapter 4 it doesn't appear God is talking about our hearts emotionally but more so the things which we are to let penetrate deep within our hearts. Back in verse 13 God tells us to carry out His instructions: don't forsake them. Guard them, for they will lead to a fulfilled life.
Is it possible that guarding our hearts has more to do with protecting and keeping it pure in thoughts, focus and motive then love?
Is it possible what God is really saying is we are to guard our hearts against saying, doing, feeling and thinking things for the applause of man or our own sake?
Instead are we to lay down our own emotions, our fears, insecurities, doubts and protection, and open our hearts fully to all as he did?
Should our hearts act out His love more then our cautious?
Lord do I need to guard against doing things for me instead of Thee????
Lord is it possible I am single because I have spent more time guarding my heart from giving extravagant love then letting it flow?
< Message edited by joy2give2u -- 4/14/2008 3:23:08 PM >
_____________________________
It is better to communicate the Spirit of what the Word says then the actual words read
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/14/2008 4:09:45 PM
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WaitingforBoaz
Posts: 3019
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: The Hundred Acre Wood
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quote:
ORIGINAL: joy2give2u
Over the past year the subject of guarding our hearts has been addressed many times in the singles threads.
Most of us have experienced enough of life with it's heartaches to find ourself cautious and a little bit guarded when it comes to relationships.
I have been thinking quite a bit about my heart lately. Observing it's ability(or lack of ability) to give and receive love.
I love.......but do I love as Christ did? He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give EVERYTHING to us. Do I love people, life, and even God with a love void of caution? A love willing to give everything, even my heart, to others. Am I suppose to?
How do we love, a love which goes way over the top what love looks like in normal life, a love which makes a bold statement so much so the world sees it as foolish, and guard our hearts at the same time?
Is it possible to love with such a extravagant love while guarding our hearts?
When I read discussions on guarding our heart it always seems to apply that guarding out hearts somehow has to do with emotions...... in particular love.
How can we love fully, as God calls us to do, and hold back our emotions?
Is it possible that guarding our hearts has nothing to do with emotions or love?
In Proverbs 4:23 we find the verse most commonly used to address guarding our hearts yet reading chapter 4 it doesn't appear God is talking about our hearts emotionally but more so the things which we are to let penetrate deep within our hearts. Back in verse 13 God tells us to carry out His instructions: don't forsake them. Guard them, for they will lead to a fulfilled life.
Is it possible that guarding our hearts has more to do with protecting and keeping it pure in thoughts, focus and motive then love?
Is it possible what God is really saying is we are to guard our hearts against saying, doing, feeling and thinking things for the applause of man or our own sake?
Instead are we to lay down our own emotions, our fears, insecurities, doubts and protection, and open our hearts fully to all as he did?
Should our hearts act out His love more then our cautious?
Lord do I need to guard against doing things for me instead of Thee????
Lord is it possible I am single because I have spent more time guarding my heart from giving extravagant love then letting it flow?
Joy,
I agree, someone mentioned this scripture in another post today and I had this same thought, so I went back to look. IMHO This scripture is not a stand alone verse. Few are IMO. When you take them in context you see that he is being told that wisdom is the principle thing and everything that follows has to do with getting wisdom and avoiding evil. There is no mention of guarding your heart in regards to opposite sex relationships. In my opinion this passage is about seeking his wisdom to live intentionally for Him.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead,
And your eyelids look right before you.
26 Ponder the path of your feet,
And let all your ways be established.
27 Do not turn to the right or the left;
Remove your foot from evil.
_____________________________
Nadine
The LORD repay your work, and a full reward be given you by the LORD God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge.” Ruth 2:12
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/14/2008 4:39:06 PM
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sharonjef2007
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I think you are onto something very important joy......
As I have read the scripture, I have thought that part was always talking about guarding our hearts from sin. From anything that will take us away from God and from His plan an purpose for us.
So, there are times when in relationships, we should be guarding our hearts...as in awakening love before its time. But that is not the ONLY example or time we need to guard our hearts.
_____________________________
my blog......I guess it is time for an update.......
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/14/2008 5:39:16 PM
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Dakotasunbeam
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joy, excellent thread! I think you're right.
God wants us to gaurd it also from what comes out of it. The Bible says it's not that which goes into a man that defiles him, its what comes out. We have to make sure that we are actually "loving" and not "coveting."
That our pursuits are self-less and not self-ish.
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/15/2008 10:27:11 AM
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hotsaucygma
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Proverbs 4 is about wisdom (God is wisdom, is He not?) and the importance of wisdom, it is "supreme", worth "all"; it is about the need to hold on to wisdom (God), to guard it (our relationship with Jesus?)- "for it is your life". It tells us to above all, guard our heart because it is the "wellspring" of life. Jesus told us that out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks (Mt 12), so the need to guard what is in our hearts is obviously important and we need to be on guard not to let wrong motives, ideas, etc. into our heart (or our minds).
I do think that this could fit into our relationships in that it is certainly wise not to give our hearts in a romantic relationship too soon. As to Agape love though, I don't think we should in anyway try to guard or avoid loving this way.
_____________________________
Dear Lord, let my words today be as sweet and delicious as cheesecake... for tomorrow I may have to eat them!
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/15/2008 11:18:53 AM
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Focusing
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I think we need to guard our hearts at all times, in all situations. This doesn't mean we are not to allow His love to shine through us, and it doesn't mean that in allowing that love to come from our hearts we allow others to walk all over us. We need to guard our hearts in regards to those who will try to take us into their confidence - then attack us as a wolf, watching and waiting for just the right moment to do so. There are many deceivers out there, and without giving the time to allow their true nature to show through, it would be unwise to trust too early. To give our heart away.
Romantic relationships are clearly in a category of their own. We need to give those relationships time to develop, not allowing our feelings to override all our other senses. However, close relationships with others also need time to develop.
1 John 4:18 says There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.
As many here know, betrayal hurts like crazy. And that betrayal can come in so many forms. Even after forgiveness, the sting of betrayal leaves scars that don't go away.
So, while there is no fear in love - true love - Who loves us more than Christ? Nobody. Who can we trust more than Christ? Nobody. Other men/women will let us down, and while we can try to not allow that to happen - after all, so many of us have suffered *punishment* (betrayal, divorce, broken hearts) from giving our hearts away, and yes, we have that fear - we need to guard our hearts as we learn to trust others, and lean on God's Word to help guide us through this process of gaining wisdom. And we need to remember that wisdom so often comes from experiences in life - both good and bad. It's an individual journey for each of us.
For me, I'm still learning how to trust, so I guard my heart.
_____________________________
Sam
"You're my nightcap"
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/15/2008 1:00:17 PM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4149
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quote:
ORIGINAL: joy2give2u
In Proverbs 4:23 we find the verse most commonly used to address guarding our hearts yet reading chapter 4 it doesn't appear God is talking about our hearts emotionally but more so the things which we are to let penetrate deep within our hearts. Back in verse 13 God tells us to carry out His instructions: don't forsake them. Guard them, for they will lead to a fulfilled life.
Is it possible that guarding our hearts has more to do with protecting and keeping it pure in thoughts, focus and motive then love?
.
.
.
......... I agree with you here.
Proverbs 4:23 NASB
[23] Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.
The Hebrew for watch means:
H5341
נצר
nâtsar
naw-tsar'
A primitive root; to guard, in a good sense (to protect, maintain, obey, etc.) or a bad one (to conceal, etc.): - besieged, hidden thing, keep (-er, -ing), monument, observe, preserve (-r), subtil, watcher (-man).
Here, the Hebrew for heart means:
H3820
לב
lêb
labe
A form of H3824; the heart; also used (figuratively) very widely for the feelings, the will and even the intellect; likewise for the centre of anything: - + care for, comfortably, consent, X considered, courag [-eous], friend [-ly], ([broken-], [hard-], [merry-], [stiff-], [stout-], double) heart ([-ed]), X heed, X I, kindly, midst, mind (-ed), X regard ([-ed)], X themselves, X unawares, understanding, X well, willingly, wisdom.
When we look at these meanings… it totally makes the other verses understandable.
I do not believe guarding our hearts is limited to love or relationships.
_____________________________
"...life is for the living. And I am still living.
And I intend to do more than just merely exist on this planet; I intend to live my life. " -Sharon-Marie
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/15/2008 1:06:48 PM
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joy2give2u
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quote:
There is no mention of guarding your heart in regards to opposite sex relationships. In my opinion this passage is about seeking his wisdom to live intentionally for Him.
I agree followtheleader which makes me wonder, when we do get hurt in a relationship, does the hurt come from loving with the extravagant love of the Lord or from our own feelings? If our heart is guarded from saying, doing, feeling or thinking based on our own sake instead of God's sake would the relationship really be hurtful? Pain and hurt may be felt at times but the relationship itself can it be hurtful?
quote:
So, there are times when in relationships, we should be guarding our hearts...as in awakening love before its time. But that is not the ONLY example or time we need to guard our hearts.
I understand what you are saying Sharon and want to agree but I can't help wondering.........If I am guarding my heart against my emotions, feelings dictating my actions, romantic love setting the pace, who or what would set the time? Wouldn't God be setting the time when my heart purpose is only to love with the love God showed us?
Is it possible loving everyone with an extravagant love, male/female...old/young.....saint/sinner......might actually lead me to walk through the doors God has opened? Even the romantic ones?
quote:
I do think that this could fit into our relationships in that it is certainly wise not to give our hearts in a romantic relationship too soon. Maybe this is the source of my deepest confusion.........when does love become a romantic love? Isn't it just a romantic love because it happens between a man and woman who have decided to pursue possible marriage?
Other thoughts but I don't have time to post them at the moment.
Thank you to all who have posted so far.
_____________________________
It is better to communicate the Spirit of what the Word says then the actual words read
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/15/2008 1:36:23 PM
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hotsaucygma
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Hmm, maybe when talking about "romantic love", what we need to "guard" against is mistaking "love" for something else. Or perhaps more correctly mistaking something else for love. In our culture "falling in love" is regarded as the way to "find" love/mates. Too often what we are actually falling into is "chemistry" or "infatuation" or whatever you want to call it. In that case guarding your heart becomes much more sensible.
_____________________________
Dear Lord, let my words today be as sweet and delicious as cheesecake... for tomorrow I may have to eat them!
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/15/2008 2:04:49 PM
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joy2give2u
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I admit I have little experience with loving with an extravagant love.
Oh I love, not loving is impossible when Christ's love flows out of us, but I love as a good person, with a tender heart, touched by another's needs, doing the right thing with love.........to me that is not extravagant love.
Ironically if you look up extravagant in the dictionary most the definitions are negative when seen through a world view.
For example.......using love with the definitions.....
loving much more then is necessary.........
loving to an excessively high degree........
love exceeding the bounds of reason, as actions, demands, opinions, or passions....
love going beyond what is deserved or justifiable
love wandering beyond bounds
love given to lavish or imprudent expenditure
love exceeding reasonable bounds
love extremely abundant, profuse
love unreasonable high; exorbitant
love unrestrained, especially with regards to feelings
love recklessly wasteful
love confined to no general rule
love nobly wild and profuse in expenditure.
Four people have I loved with an extravagant love. A love which comes close to the definitions above or the love I believe God wants us to love with since it reflects His love for us.
_____________________________
It is better to communicate the Spirit of what the Word says then the actual words read
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/15/2008 2:17:05 PM
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Focusing
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Hot-N-Saucy, you are full of wisdom! Yes, we must guard against falling into infatuation ... mistaking it for true love.
I had a wonderful revelation not too long ago about this very subject, and it made love so much clearer to me. When we fall for someone, what are we falling for? Is it a flutter in our hearts? That "feeling" of new love? (that can be a very intoxicating feeling that both men and women crave - an addiction of sorts) Is it the closeness with another person that we are desiring? Is it a sense of comfortableness / routine / habit / familiarity that we long for? Is it the ability to share our hearts? Is it in fact romantic love? Or are we seeking a close friendship with another person - something we all long for - that connection on a deep level? Are we simply longing for a relationship where we feel safe - and grab onto the relationship and mistake it for romantic love?
The factors that fall into the *safe* zone must belong in a romantic relationship, because truly being in a love relationship must be safe for both partners, but they can stand in a relationship that is not romantic. We need to be careful to sort these feelings out in our own hearts, and we must seek God's guidance every step of the way. I think that's where the *guarding our hearts* comes in.
_____________________________
Sam
"You're my nightcap"
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/15/2008 2:38:32 PM
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joy2give2u
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quote:
We need to be careful to sort these feelings out in our own hearts, and we must seek God's guidance every step of the way. I think that's where the *guarding our hearts* comes in. I agree Sam.........the things you mentioned are the things we need to guard against.......not giving or receiving love........
I don't want to have a heart which guards or even dilutes love. I want to love with a love which exceeds normal........a love which doesn't say .......oh isn't she a good, kind person but one which seems almost reckless to the world. A love which is excessive and goes beyond what is deserved or justifiable.
I want to give love lavishly with extreme abundance. Unrestrained and outside of the normal love experience.
I think of the those I love and how I love them.........those who I thought I loved with all my heart I would lay down my life for but would I live my life for them?
I can think of many who I would die for but few for whom I would sacrifice my life.
_____________________________
It is better to communicate the Spirit of what the Word says then the actual words read
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/15/2008 2:52:54 PM
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hotsaucygma
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I'm very, very, torn right now. Your words "picked" at a very deep scab or scar Joy (and that's ok, we need to examine those scars sometimes). I have said many times that I always knew my Ex would lay down his life for me or our children, but he would not live for us. The "dilema" comes from having loved, if not extravagrantly certainly lavishly, and paid a very high price for it.
Jesus also paid a very high price!
Hmm, some things to think about.
_____________________________
Dear Lord, let my words today be as sweet and delicious as cheesecake... for tomorrow I may have to eat them!
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/15/2008 4:01:24 PM
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joy2give2u
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quote:
The "dilema" comes from having loved, if not extravagrantly certainly lavishly, and paid a very high price for it. I am sorry hsgma
I have debated saying this but felt compelled to ask.........
Do you think loving extravagantly may at times be painful and cause hurt yet the rewards.........the blessings which spring forth from this type of love make it all worth while?
_____________________________
It is better to communicate the Spirit of what the Word says then the actual words read
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/15/2008 4:09:00 PM
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Focusing
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Do you think loving extravagantly may at times be painful and cause hurt yet the rewards.........the blessings which spring forth from this type of love make it all worth while?
Yes. Ask any parent.
_____________________________
Sam
"You're my nightcap"
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/15/2008 4:13:44 PM
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joy2give2u
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quote:
Yes. Ask any parent. I don't believe any parent loves this way in fact my experience shows me that many do not.
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It is better to communicate the Spirit of what the Word says then the actual words read
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/15/2008 4:18:41 PM
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Focusing
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Maybe I'm misunderstanding your question ...
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Sam
"You're my nightcap"
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/15/2008 4:42:48 PM
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hotsaucygma
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quote:
ORIGINAL: joy2give2u
quote:
The "dilema" comes from having loved, if not extravagrantly certainly lavishly, and paid a very high price for it. I am sorry hsgma
I have debated saying this but felt compelled to ask.........
Do you think loving extravagantly may at times be painful and cause hurt yet the rewards.........the blessings which spring forth from this type of love make it all worth while?
Truly no need to be sorry Joy.
As for the blessings making it worth while, well I don't know. In the case of loving my Ex, I have 2 wonderful sons that I would not otherwise have, are they "worth" it? I know I would go through far more "pain" for them than I have already, and do it willingly, so does that mean that the personal pain of my marriage and divorce were worth while? Are the two really even connected? I don't know.
Sam, I think you are saying here that raising children is painful and hurts at times, but is certainly worth while! Our children are our greatest joy and we can feel such an overpowering love for them that makes anything "worthwhile" if it is for them! I think what Joy was saying is that not all "mothers" or "fathers" are parents. By that I mean that simply being one of the biological components of a child does not make you a parent- the love, time and care put into raising a child are what make you a parent- as you very well know! There are "parents" that do not love that way.
_____________________________
Dear Lord, let my words today be as sweet and delicious as cheesecake... for tomorrow I may have to eat them!
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/15/2008 6:57:10 PM
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sharonjef2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: joy2give2u
quote:
So, there are times when in relationships, we should be guarding our hearts...as in awakening love before its time. But that is not the ONLY example or time we need to guard our hearts.
I understand what you are saying Sharon and want to agree but I can't help wondering.........If I am guarding my heart against my emotions, feelings dictating my actions, romantic love setting the pace, who or what would set the time? Wouldn't God be setting the time when my heart purpose is only to love with the love God showed us?
Is it possible loving everyone with an extravagant love, male/female...old/young.....saint/sinner......might actually lead me to walk through the doors God has opened? Even the romantic ones?
We should strive to be Christ-like and to love all with the love that Christ has shown to us. We should do that without fear, there is no argument there. I still believe that when God tells us to "guard our hearts" that He means to guard against sinning since that takes us away from God, not closer to Him which is the ultimate goal in the first place.
And, let me say this, while it is fantastic that we can look at scripture and discuss it and try to apply Godly advice and directives to our lives, I think there is danger when we say.....
...if I do this....perhaps God will then give me this thing that I really want and desire......
God loves each and every one of us. He wants the best for us and has amazing plans for each of our lives. No matter what we do or think or say.....we can't rush that plan or change it. We can go our own separate ways from God, but his ultimate goals for our lives and his plans for us as individuals don't change.
Loving others like Christ loves us will help us walk through doors to get to our love of a lifetime....I can promise you that. However, that love is from God...not of a husband or wife. And really, shouldn't dawing closer to Him be our goal in all things anyhow?
_____________________________
my blog......I guess it is time for an update.......
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/15/2008 8:21:59 PM
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mutinywxgirl
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When my heart is one with God and my desires are His desires, then yes, I can love as He loves and still keep my emotions under control - guarding my heart.
I was challenged with some of these things just the other day. Am I gunshy to be open to the possibility of love because of what happened last time? Am I guarding my heart too much?
The answer is yes and no. In a romantic sense, I MUST keep my emotions under wraps (and have prayed for this to happen) - because if I let them out, then I will get ahead of what God wants in this situation. (I know myself all too well!) Getting ahead doesn't allow God to work as He needs to work in both of our lives. Letting my emotions run rampant, especially if it doesn't work out, leads to heartbreak. May it not be so that I was the cause of my own disappointment and heartbreak! May my desires be your desires, Lord. That is my prayer.
I also do think that we must guard against the infiltration of sin - because when it does get in - it takes a major breaking for it to come out.
I have to wonder, of all of us who say we guard our hearts - how many of us have other issues (self-esteem, etc) to where we don't feel we're good enough to have lavished on us what people want to lavish on us? We put up walls - guarding our heart - because we're afraid of the potential pain that may result, instead of opening up ourselves to the love poured out? When love gets poured into me from my Father, then it has to come out in some way - and when I see resistance from someone, then I will just move on. When I do that to another - putting up a wall, then by my not accepting that love, I'm hindering the work of the spirit in and through them. May that not be so, Lord!
I'm asking myself this right now, because I do think this has been my problem for so many years. Those "tapes" in my head from the torment of my youth are in the process of being rewritten, but it's a long process. All these years, I've hidden behind the walls put up to guard my heart. How many blessings have I missed out on, and how many times did I hinder the Spirit in another? Forgive me, Lord, forgive me.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!!!!!!!
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RE: Heart guarded from ????? - 4/15/2008 8:53:30 PM
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crimsonfollower
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I saw this the other day and chose not to open/read it because it is something that I struggle with.
Just in reading through it, it is easy to get terms confused - lavishly/extravagantly are not the same. Loving as God loved and guarding our hearts are not the same. Being willing to die for some one and living for them are two different things as well. So in some ways, I think the discussion is trying to compare apples and oranges- other than saying that they are both fruits that grow on trees, you won't find a lot in common 
But to answer the OP in some regards. Yes I think the call of a Christian is to lay down our desires and love with abandon to what may happen. We have to be willing to open up our lives to each other and to those around us. It is not easy!! I still struggle with this a lot.
Just a little bit of my story since I don't post in here very often.
When I was 16, the church that my family and I were attending, stabbed us in the back (figuratively). After that, I became very careful of how much a trusted people- even those that said they were Christians. Through most of college, I kept to myself and very rarely let people into my heart because I didn't want to get hurt again. It was through some friends (who had been through a lot worse than I had) who helped to teach me how to forgive first off and then also how to trust again. After graduating college, I moved to another country to teach in a missionary type situation. Because it is at a school, being open with people was going to have to be key. I told myself that I would be open about my past and how I was doing. However, this past year once again trust with people/church was broken. So I am once again at a point in my life where I guard myself in many respects.
However, in guarding my heart so that I don't get hurt again any time soon, I still work on loving those around me. At the same time, when I leave in 9 weeks, I know that my heart will be torn because I will be leaving all of the people that I loved. I have opened up my heart/life and let these students, parents, fellow teachers, friends and church members come in. Even though I am excited about the fact that I will be going home to my family, I will be leaving a "family" here. So for me, guarding my heart is not about how I love as Christ loved. It is not about keeping so much to myself that I do not love those around me with a 1 John type of love. I tell my students frequently that I would be willing to die for them if it would give them salvation. I have that type of love for them - it is not a love based on emotions only (though that becomes stronger every day) but on Christ's love. "No man has greater love than this than that he be willing to lay down his life for his brother" (that is a parphrase and I have no clue where it is found at the moment).
Guarding my heart | | | |
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