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RE: Single And Not Looking - 4/26/2008 12:58:04 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 14087
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jlp1
quote:
truly desires just the idea of getting married. Some people do. Some people just want to be married just to be married.
Yeah that's what I was trying to say; not to marry just to say your married. I think are intentions should show our action or our actions should show our intentions. For what ever reason you start out to to something you should have the puriest intentions. I desire to be married but not at the risk of vanity. And humbleinspirit, I truley did not mean to offend you if I did.
No offense taken. 
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RE: Single And Not Looking - 4/26/2008 12:59:47 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 14087
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ps130
Why does it seem everyone considers you a freak or gay if you don't want to date or be married right away? As I seek the Lord, I find that I am actually content with being single. Why can't everyone else see that??? 
Its just the way society is I guess.
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RE: Single And Not Looking - 4/28/2008 1:56:54 AM
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EricPR239
Posts: 6
Joined: 4/28/2008
From: Puerto Rico
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Hi people, this is my first thread in the forums.
Much like the poster, I am also single and not looking- yet, I am not looking, that is it. Not "for now", but "probably forever".
The decision to remain a permanent single/celibate was done for so many reasons which include:
1. Being 25 years old and never had a girlfriend (this helps me greatly because I have zero experience with romantic love so I don't "miss" anything from the past
2. I feel disappointed with the approval of sinful behavior such as premarital sex by many of the Christian people, and they are increasing
3. Exaggerated difficulty on finding a good, Christian woman around my age, especially considering that they tend to be very watchful and I'm not really in the mood of "fighting" for love (that means I am not a romantic guy anyway, so I won't waste time saying babbling in order to make a woman love me)
4. Paul's recommendations fit well in the decayed society, including above 60% divorce rates, STD growing each day
Many people do not agree with many or all of the reasons above, but I am a man of truth and I understand that the difficulty for a woman to fall in love with a guy like me who has never had a girlfriend is utterly and tremendously high. There are so many unhappy relationships that I've seen that it is not worth the try, plus I do not find sex necessary as many charlatan professionals want it to seem. Has somebody died for not having sex? No, then it is not necessary.
A celibate life, when lived properly (that is, zero "free" relationships that God dislike like many immature singles do), can be just as good as a good marriage. Because I feel the love of God to me, I do not require any "sexual" love at all. It also has it benefits. Do you think today's society is the most appropriate to raise children? I don't think so. Too much scum in TV, music of this time sucks big time, they only talk and joke about sex, swearing and violence, school environments are not spiritually healthy, too much freedom, with libertine implications. In other words we can be the best parents we can be but meanwhile when we work and our children are in school they are bombarded by sexual, weapon, swearing and violent conversations by their partners who may not have good parents, and the peer pressure, especially in the youth years is going to be so strong that we cannot be really sure they will follow up with God.
Maybe the poster of this thread should consider all this. I say reasoning should be more important that just follow feelings without any analysis. You have read many answers: YES, you would be in a red flag. Why bother? Enjoy properly in God and wait with patience and not hurry, and enjoy your single life maybe you are just like me, a man who was not selected by God for a marriage life. Remember when Jesus told the disciples... that not everybody is selected for marriage. Genesis' verses are not an order, but the plan for MANY men and women. Also, Earth is way overpopulated.
< Message edited by EricPR239 -- 4/28/2008 2:03:35 AM >
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RE: Single And Not Looking - 4/28/2008 1:40:26 PM
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WaitingforBoaz
Posts: 3136
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: The Hundred Acre Wood
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: EricPR239
Hi people, this is my first thread in the forums.
Much like the poster, I am also single and not looking- yet, I am not looking, that is it. Not "for now", but "probably forever".
The decision to remain a permanent single/celibate was done for so many reasons which include:
1. Being 25 years old and never had a girlfriend (this helps me greatly because I have zero experience with romantic love so I don't "miss" anything from the past
2. I feel disappointed with the approval of sinful behavior such as premarital sex by many of the Christian people, and they are increasing
3. Exaggerated difficulty on finding a good, Christian woman around my age, especially considering that they tend to be very watchful and I'm not really in the mood of "fighting" for love (that means I am not a romantic guy anyway, so I won't waste time saying babbling in order to make a woman love me)
4. Paul's recommendations fit well in the decayed society, including above 60% divorce rates, STD growing each day
Many people do not agree with many or all of the reasons above, but I am a man of truth and I understand that the difficulty for a woman to fall in love with a guy like me who has never had a girlfriend is utterly and tremendously high. There are so many unhappy relationships that I've seen that it is not worth the try, plus I do not find sex necessary as many charlatan professionals want it to seem. Has somebody died for not having sex? No, then it is not necessary.
A celibate life, when lived properly (that is, zero "free" relationships that God dislike like many immature singles do), can be just as good as a good marriage. Because I feel the love of God to me, I do not require any "sexual" love at all. It also has it benefits. Do you think today's society is the most appropriate to raise children? I don't think so. Too much scum in TV, music of this time sucks big time, they only talk and joke about sex, swearing and violence, school environments are not spiritually healthy, too much freedom, with libertine implications. In other words we can be the best parents we can be but meanwhile when we work and our children are in school they are bombarded by sexual, weapon, swearing and violent conversations by their partners who may not have good parents, and the peer pressure, especially in the youth years is going to be so strong that we cannot be really sure they will follow up with God.
Maybe the poster of this thread should consider all this. I say reasoning should be more important that just follow feelings without any analysis. You have read many answers: YES, you would be in a red flag. Why bother? Enjoy properly in God and wait with patience and not hurry, and enjoy your single life maybe you are just like me, a man who was not selected by God for a marriage life. Remember when Jesus told the disciples... that not everybody is selected for marriage. Genesis' verses are not an order, but the plan for MANY men and women. Also, Earth is way overpopulated.
I responded to you in another post and I wish I had seen this one first. Not that it would have change what I wrote.
Eric, I applaud anyone who like Paul has been called to celibacy. It is a calling and not for everyone. I am not going to doubt your calling.
But I am really curious what could have happened to you in your short 25 years on this earth that would make you so cynical about marriage, relationships and women in general. Marriage can be a beautiful thing and is for many couples. Relationships leading up to marriage can be messy, granted, but for those who do want to get married what is the alternative. It seems that you are getting your ideas about relationships and marriage from observing others. That does not mean if you chose to have a relationship it would resemble theirs. You are leaving out one very important element: You. You would be choosing the girl, you would be the one in charge of the relationship, the one directing it. If she does not like the direction you are going with it. End it. I am not saying that you are wrong in your desires to stay single. Just don't let cynicism put you there. That all I'm saying. I just wanted to give you a few things to think about.
Blessings,
~Nadine
< Message edited by followtheLeader -- 4/29/2008 3:18:07 AM >
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Nadine
"It's like every thing good collided today" quote from my 8yr old daughter
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RE: Single And Not Looking - 5/3/2008 12:27:08 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 14087
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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WOW, now that is a real mouth full! And while I agree with Eric's points, I still think that you are still quite a bit young to swear off marriage all together though. Yes, I know that you are not looking, and that is where I am, at least for now anyway. Sometimes you do not have to seek relationships, because they can find you instead. So keep on doing what you are doing, and maybe someday God will open up a door.
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RE: Single And Not Looking - 5/9/2008 4:47:50 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 14087
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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Yes, as Jalanda said "presently not looking", although the prospect of dating still is something that I still think would be fun though.
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RE: Single And Not Looking - 5/9/2008 10:40:35 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 840
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
Yes, as Jalanda said "presently not looking", although the prospect of dating still is something that I still think would be fun though.
Could what you mean by "not looking" is not wanting to take the effort to look, but desperately wanting to be found?
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RE: Single And Not Looking - 5/9/2008 10:43:43 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 14087
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
Yes, as Jalanda said "presently not looking", although the prospect of dating still is something that I still think would be fun though.
Could what you mean by "not looking" is not wanting to take the effort to look, but desperately wanting to be found?
Hmmm, not really, just that the desire is there, but I personally know that I would much rather work on myself first before bringing any "issues" into a relationship is all.
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RE: Single And Not Looking - 5/9/2008 11:00:04 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 840
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
Yes, as Jalanda said "presently not looking", although the prospect of dating still is something that I still think would be fun though.
Could what you mean by "not looking" is not wanting to take the effort to look, but desperately wanting to be found?
Hmmm, not really, just that the desire is there, but I personally know that I would much rather work on myself first before bringing any "issues" into a relationship is all.
okey dokey. But remember that we're never going to be perfect, and we all have issues. If you're waiting for all your issues to be resolved before you get involved in a relationship, you will never get there. I don't mean that people shouldn't take the time and effort in "healing" themselves but you know what, there's not one person in this world who doesn't have some sort of baggage. Those who don't think they do really hasn't taken the time to reflect on their lives. Don't look if you're really not interested in sharing your life with someone at the moment At least you won't hurt people that way.
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RE: Single And Not Looking - 5/9/2008 11:13:20 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 14087
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
Yes, as Jalanda said "presently not looking", although the prospect of dating still is something that I still think would be fun though.
Could what you mean by "not looking" is not wanting to take the effort to look, but desperately wanting to be found?
Hmmm, not really, just that the desire is there, but I personally know that I would much rather work on myself first before bringing any "issues" into a relationship is all.
okey dokey. But remember that we're never going to be perfect, and we all have issues. If you're waiting for all your issues to be resolved before you get involved in a relationship, you will never get there. I don't mean that people shouldn't take the time and effort in "healing" themselves but you know what, there's not one person in this world who doesn't have some sort of baggage. Those who don't think they do really hasn't taken the time to reflect on their lives. Don't look if you're really not interested in sharing your life with someone at the moment At least you won't hurt people that way.
Yes, I do not want to needlessly lead somebody on or hurt them at all. Even with my own stuff I think that I would be good at a relationship in theory. However, this comes more from a theorical point of view as opposed to practice. One of my favorite personal quote is "I know how to drive a car, I read all about it in a book!"
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