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manda59 -> RE: Embarrassing Mommy moments (4/20/2008 11:58:40 AM)
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pbaribeault,
As karlie knows, I hesitated to post a similar story here, because I didn't want anyone to feel awkward about it, or think I was making light of it. But as you've posted your story, I will share mine.
When I had my children, we lived on an island (called the Isle of Wight) which is largely rural - and there really were very few black or Asian people living there.
When my son was 2 or 3 (and never having seen anyone who wasn't white), we were at the bank one day. We were sat at a table as I was filling out a form. I thought my ds was happily scribbling on a blank form, as he often did, when suddenly he piped up with "mummy, is that a monkey?". I thought there must be some leaflets or posters that he'd seen with some monkeys on, but then he
pointed over the other side of the bank at a black man who was up at the counter.
I was mortified, embarrassed, anxious and scared. It dawned on me all of a sudden that my son was only saying this because he had never known anyone of a different ethnicity. Just for an instant I felt ashamed that I had not realised the need of this before now. I knew my son was not intending to cause offence, and that he would *never* have heard anything like that from myself, my dh or anyone in my family or at church. I was so worried about how the man himself might be feeling, about what others there would think. And of course I had to answer my ds's question, before he repeated it again, and louder (as children do when you don't answer right away).
I was afraid to look up. I quickly said to my son "No, sweetheart, he is a man - his skin is just a different colour because he comes from a different country. I'll explain more when we get home."
I then took a deep breath and looked up. No-one was looking at us. The black guy was still discussing his business with the cashier at the counter. I *think* he may well not even have heard us.
After that day, I made sure and introduced my son to different cultures - in books, magazines, on the TV etc. And talked to him, age appropriately, about differences and about prejudice. I started working out at a gym - to find that one of the trainers was black (from St. Lucia) so I made sure and introduced my ds to him (and later on, my dd). When the children were 8 and 4 we took them to an African music festival, and also to a Nigerian church in Hackney, London, where there were about 1000 black people at the service, and us [:)]
So, though I still feel bad about that time in the bank, the incident did us a favour as it gave me a good shove in the right direction to educate my children about other cultures and racial matters.
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