friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (Full Version)

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carriebear -> friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/21/2008 3:14:38 PM)

hi- Our next door neighbor has a daughter my daughter's age. They are in the same class at school. The mother is a stripper and wears her stripper clothes around the house. The girls are friends and want to play.
How do I handle this situation?



Ellie-Mae -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/21/2008 3:19:31 PM)

Have them play at your house. I would also take an opportunity to explain to your daughter that people who don't believe in God often don't make good decisions and it is sad, and so we should pray for them and help them see Jesus where we can.



carriebear -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/21/2008 3:27:27 PM)

Hi Ellie- Mae,
For the past few months, the girls have been playing at our house. I think my daughter understands why. The problem is her friend. She is starting to ask why they never play at her house. The mom asks too. What should I say?



carriebear -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/21/2008 3:37:26 PM)

the girls are 8 years old.



shadowspring -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/21/2008 5:11:55 PM)

I think you should say that, although you respect your neighbor's right to live her life as she chooses, you most certainly do not want your daughter to grow used to the idea of stripping for a living. Tell her plainly that you consider a woman's body a holy temple for the Lord, to only be shared with her husband if she marries, and no other.

Then duck and run in a zig-zag pattern, in case she comes out shooting! [sm=smilecrossbone.gif]



pbaribeault -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/21/2008 5:12:38 PM)

First, I want to ask...

(1) How do you know that she is a stripper?
(As opposed to being a slinky waitress, a model, a bartender, a pornographic actress, an escort, or a prostitute)

(2) What you consider 'stripper clothes'?
(Revealing street clothes or costumes like bikinis with sequins & tassels?)

(3) How do you know that she wears these things 'around the house'?

Depending on your answers it goes different ways. If she is perfectly open and happy about her lifestyle, she might be quite understanding of you being an overprotective prude. If, however, you are reacting to gossip and glimpses, a different conversation might be in order.



shadowspring -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/21/2008 5:16:13 PM)

Actually, my earlier post was a flippant post. I should pray before answering such a serious question. I hope it made you laugh, though!

I would ask the ladies from my Bible study to pray with me about the situation. Maybe it can turn into an opportunity to share with her how precious she is to the Lord, and that she is selling herself short by stripping?

One things for sure, this situation requires lots of prayer, since the daughter is your daughter's friend and the family are neighbors. You can't bend the truth, and you can't let your daughter be exposed to an immoral lifestyle. I pray that whatever you say, you have the courage to stand firm, and that the love of Christ will permeate your words and touch your neighbor's heart with grace.



Kat_D -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/21/2008 5:16:34 PM)

In other words you have a lost neighbor, as are all your neighbors who don't know the Lord. I'd invite the children over so you can share Christ's love with them, and who knows...maybe they and their Mother might come to be saved as a result!



Beck34 -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/23/2008 2:47:34 AM)

As someone who used to work in a strip club, I can tell you that she is trapped! Most of the girls I worked with felt that they could make a living no other way.That lifestyle sucks the life right out of you. Thank God for the woman who knocked on my door and witnessed to me!
You can't treat her with a judgemental attitude because she won't listen! You have to ease your way into the conversation. You may make a great friend out of this, and you may save her life!



vixir -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/23/2008 12:31:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kat_D

In other words you have a lost neighbor, as are all your neighbors who don't know the Lord.



So are you saying that a woman cannot know the Lord if she is a stripper? I'm not a stripper, but it's not our job to judge people. I'm not saying that she is a Christian, but simply that we don't know what's in her heart. If she is a Christian, I wouldn't think that what she does for a living would be a deal breaker.



Beck34 -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/23/2008 12:40:10 PM)

I know that as a Christian, we should never judge anyone. It is true that we don't know her heart. I have to tell you that it has been my experience, having lived in this world, that the ones that I worked with were not saved.
That is one of the reasons that I cautioned not to go into a conversation with her sitting in judgement. The only way to know is to approach the subject gently to find out. You will never know unless you ask.
The devil traps us in lies in our lives and allows us to get caught up in the world. Invite her and her daughter to church or to lunch at your house. Get to know her. That is your only way to know what to do.



shadowspring -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/23/2008 12:50:41 PM)

quote:

So are you saying that a woman cannot know the Lord if she is a stripper? I'm not a stripper, but it's not our job to judge people. I'm not saying that she is a Christian, but simply that we don't know what's in her heart. If she is a Christian, I wouldn't think that what she does for a living would be a deal breaker.
[sm=icon_smile_yikes.gif]

Actually, according to the Word of God, that would be the one situation where it would be a deal-breaker!


quote:

I Corinthians 5:9 When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. 10 But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. 11 I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.

12 It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. 13 God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, “You must remove the evil person from among you.” NLT



vixir -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/23/2008 12:58:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shadowspring

Actually, according to the Word of God, that would be the one situation where it would be a deal-breaker!


quote:

I Corinthians 5:9 When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. 10 But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. 11 I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.

12 It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. 13 God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, “You must remove the evil person from among you.” NLT




This is hard for me to understand. Mainly because if it was a choice to either become a stripper or being homeless, I would choose becoming a stripper. Mainly because of my son... I would do almost everything that I could in order to make sure he had food, clothes and a roof over his head. So I wouldn't be a Christian anymore if that were the case? God would turn away from me at judgment day, because I stripped to feed my child? I'm not saying that it would come to this for me. But if it did, I would like to think that God wouldn't shun away from me because of it.

Also, if this is true... then that means Christian men who struggle with this kind of thing (strip clubs and all), would be true Christians. Right? That cannot be right... everyone struggles with their own demons. But that shouldn't mean that they are not or never were saved to begin with.



Jenny-Fair -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/23/2008 1:06:02 PM)

I don't think that's a realistic scenario. If God disapproves of something, he won't put a Christian in the place of having to do it. He takes care of his own, you know!

In addition...that would not explain her out-of-work behavior.



vixir -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/23/2008 1:09:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair

I don't think that's a realistic scenario. If God disapproves of something, he won't put a Christian in the place of having to do it. He takes care of his own, you know!

In addition...that would not explain her out-of-work behavior.



Yeah, that makes sense.



shadowspring -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/23/2008 1:45:12 PM)

quote:

Also, if this is true... then that means Christian men who struggle with this kind of thing (strip clubs and all), would be true Christians. Right? That cannot be right... everyone struggles with their own demons. But that shouldn't mean that they are not or never were saved to begin with.


No, it doesn't mean they aren't saved. It means they aren't walking with God.

God is able to provide for his own. If someone is trusting the Lord to provide work, they would never strip for a living.

Personally, I would live in a homeless shelter, or yes, even on the streets. I would never resort to stripping.

Men who go to strip clubs and claim to follow Jesus are not walking in obedience to God. We are not to hang out with disobedient, rebellious believers. I would not keep company with a Christian man that I knew had a problem with lust.

The Bible is very clear about abstaining from immorality. I would think if one became a Christian, it would be one of the vey first areas the Holy Spirit would lead you away from.

It sure was for me!



shadowspring -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/23/2008 1:50:01 PM)

I should add that I have actually been homeless, and the Lord provided for me in my homeless state. I was never without work, food or a roof over my head.

Even though it was not enough money to live on, or my own place, I was cared for by the Lord. He never let me down. I never had to resort to taking matters into my own hands by sinning or causing others to sin for a living.

He is faithful to those who put their trust in Him.



vixir -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/23/2008 2:34:34 PM)

Those are some very good points, and I never thought of it like that. Thank you! :)



shadowspring -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/23/2008 5:44:59 PM)

((((((vixir))))))



vixir -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/23/2008 5:49:59 PM)

[:)]



Beck34 -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/24/2008 1:57:30 AM)

I would like to think that you could talk to her and help her to sort it out. Maybe you could even help her to come up with some other sources so that she doesn't have to do that any more. God placed you in this woman's life for a reason! I know it may be uncomfortable for you to talk to her, but if that woman had not talked to me, I would probably still be in that place in my life. Jeus tells us that we must love one another, and there is no better way to show His love than through this. I am praying that God will use you to help her.



shadowspring -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/24/2008 11:24:20 AM)

I'm pretty sure that I heard of a ministry to women caught up in the sex trades, run by women who have left the business in Las Vegas. I'm going to do a web search. Maybe they can advise you better!



Jenny-Fair -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/24/2008 11:25:48 AM)

She may not want to leave that lifestyle until she meets her Savior.



Kat_D -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/24/2008 11:47:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: vixir

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kat_D

In other words you have a lost neighbor, as are all your neighbors who don't know the Lord.



So are you saying that a woman cannot know the Lord if she is a stripper? I'm not a stripper, but it's not our job to judge people. I'm not saying that she is a Christian, but simply that we don't know what's in her heart. If she is a Christian, I wouldn't think that what she does for a living would be a deal breaker.


If someone professes to be a Christian, we are allowed to judge the fruit in their life.

16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them. -Matthew 7

The fruit in ones life is how we distinguish between a real Christian and one who is counterfeit. There is no way a real Christian would continue in a lifestyle that is displeasing to God.

14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? 16 And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you* are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will dwell in them And walk among them. I will be their God, And they shall be My people." 17 Therefore "Come out from among them And be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you."* 18 "I will be a Father to you, And you shall be My sons and daughters, Says the Lord Almighty." - I Corinthians 6



ladyingrace1979 -> RE: friend's mom is a stripper- HELP! (4/24/2008 12:07:55 PM)

I'm coming into this late, so if you already answered this I'm sorry. The lady is a stripper, or at least dresses like one. Are there other reasons you don't want your daughter there? Is her behavior an issue?
Kim Q



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