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RE: Is Discussing Looks Wrong? - 5/7/2008 1:10:35 PM
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preserved
Posts: 1296
Joined: 6/12/2007
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imit8him,
To be honest with you...these types of discussion and conversation goes on all the time and not only just with men..Women do the same...
Remember we are all human and have the same mind...christian or non christian...It is what is in the heart of a person to determine the difference.. The sin is when one talks offensively about another...
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RE: Is Discussing Looks Wrong? - 5/8/2008 10:55:25 AM
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RichLP
Posts: 1678
Joined: 5/4/2005
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I believe it is all right to discuss a supermodel’s looks as long as sinful words or thoughts are not in the equation. The moment lust or objectification enters the picture it is SIN.
It is not a matter of right and wrong. The Bible speaks of physical beauty. David was “ruddy and good-looking.” Look at the Song of Songs.
If these friends of yours speak without grace and thusly are guilty of sinful speech, then you have no business in going along. You may not be in a position to request them to stop, but you should not contribute and should fall silent the moment their comments hit the gutter.
I’m surprised you even mentioned this – body parts, gets dirty – and you ask us this?
As for ‘tasteful’ description of physical beauty…
One time years ago I was walking at night going to a bar with a non-believer coworker. A nearly 6” tall woman, blonde, elegant, wearing expensive clothing walked by. She had class and confidence. She was certainly attractive, but my reaction was one of admiration. After she’d passed us, I exclaimed in awe, “what a beautiful woman.” My coworker friend laughed perhaps because I sounded like a child. I wonder if the woman heard me.
The point is, it is not a sin to broach the issue of how beautiful a woman is or how handsome a man is. The problem is that it can easily lead to sin. You as a man should not speak of a woman’s body parts; draw the line at her face (hair, eyes – and eyes are a good thing to focus on because not only can eye color be pleasant, but something about the eyes of people can be telling about what sort of folks they are).
You’re young, aren’t you?
_____________________________
"We have removed an ally of Al Qaeda" - G.W. Bush lies to America and to the world, 5/1/2003
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RE: Is Discussing Looks Wrong? - 5/13/2008 9:05:26 AM
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imit8him
Posts: 295
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quote:
ORIGINAL: preserved
imit8him,
To be honest with you...these types of discussion and conversation goes on all the time and not only just with men..Women do the same...
Remember we are all human and have the same mind...christian or non christian...It is what is in the heart of a person to determine the difference.. The sin is when one talks offensively about another...
Hmm, that's not good to hear.  Christian women talk this way too eh? I have heard young girls at church sort of pine over their favorite actors or discuss attractive classmates at school, but they were between ages of 15-22, when the girls have not reached full maturity. Even then, I have heard a woman who is 26 talk openly about male models and which guy's bodies and abs and muscles, etc. she likes the most......I found it a bit annoying and offensive, but I believe there is a slight double standard with this. When men discuss such things in a vulgar or inappropriate or lustful way, they are looked down upon more, whereas with women it seems they are judged less harshly.
I just know that I felt out of place listening to the women talk that way. It's like they were completely objectfiying the male bodies in the movies and magazines they saw and just using it for personal enjoyment. 
It definitely made me think less of that particular woman as well, though I didn't ever rebuke or correct her. 
< Message edited by imit8him -- 5/13/2008 9:12:22 AM >
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RE: Is Discussing Looks Wrong? - 5/13/2008 11:25:01 AM
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T.I.L.
Posts: 11
Joined: 4/24/2008
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This might be a slightly different take from the OP, but it's something that bothers me.
One of my church friends will say slight asides about people, for example: 'she's sweet, but it must be really hard for unattractive people like her to date (or whatever).' It's just a statement, that doesn't turn into a conversation. However, it bothers me that she does this. She's done it more than once, and there are times I just want to tell her to stop thinking that way!
Do any of you feel as though this behavior deserves to be addressed? Because part of me think it's just her inability to think before she speaks...
_____________________________
Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18 (NIV)
"While we are, this is. If we lose this, we lose all." C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain
..TRUTH IN LOVE.. - Ephesians 4:15
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RE: Is Discussing Looks Wrong? - 5/13/2008 11:46:47 AM
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RichLP
Posts: 1678
Joined: 5/4/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: T.I.L.
This might be a slightly different take from the OP, but it's something that bothers me.
One of my church friends will say slight asides about people, for example: 'she's sweet, but it must be really hard for unattractive people like her to date (or whatever).' It's just a statement, that doesn't turn into a conversation. However, it bothers me that she does this. She's done it more than once, and there are times I just want to tell her to stop thinking that way!
Do any of you feel as though this behavior deserves to be addressed? Because part of me think it's just her inability to think before she speaks...
It may need addressing. Because one day it might backfire - someone she says that in front of may TELL the given 'sweet' person about the comment. Friendship and fellowship will suffer damage, as such comments - as ANY comments - can never be taken back once uttered.
It could well be she doesn't pause before speaking. It may simple be one unhealthy, rooted habit she needs to rid herself of. Or, it may be insecurity about her own appearance, which she attempts to salve by putting down the appearance of others.
And IF this woman is attractive, she most probably knows it - and then it makes her look like a monster, because by doing so she is putting down others for being "low" on something she is "high" on. This is cruel and heartless.
_____________________________
"We have removed an ally of Al Qaeda" - G.W. Bush lies to America and to the world, 5/1/2003
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RE: Is Discussing Looks Wrong? - 5/13/2008 12:32:28 PM
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Rachel_79
Posts: 7
Joined: 5/7/2008
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It's one thing to be attracted to someone as a single person. It is another thing entirely to go into long discussions about how attractive someone is if you are a married person. If these guys are all single, I think I would just ask them to tone it down a bit, but if they are married they are being very disrespectful to their wives and to their marriage and so to God. Of course we all notice attractive people it is our human nature to do so, that does not give anyone a white card to talk sexually about them.
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RE: Is Discussing Looks Wrong? - 5/13/2008 1:41:27 PM
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T.I.L.
Posts: 11
Joined: 4/24/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RichLP
quote:
ORIGINAL: T.I.L.
This might be a slightly different take from the OP, but it's something that bothers me.
One of my church friends will say slight asides about people, for example: 'she's sweet, but it must be really hard for unattractive people like her to date (or whatever).' It's just a statement, that doesn't turn into a conversation. However, it bothers me that she does this. She's done it more than once, and there are times I just want to tell her to stop thinking that way!
Do any of you feel as though this behavior deserves to be addressed? Because part of me think it's just her inability to think before she speaks...
It may need addressing. Because one day it might backfire - someone she says that in front of may TELL the given 'sweet' person about the comment. Friendship and fellowship will suffer damage, as such comments - as ANY comments - can never be taken back once uttered.
It could well be she doesn't pause before speaking. It may simple be one unhealthy, rooted habit she needs to rid herself of. Or, it may be insecurity about her own appearance, which she attempts to salve by putting down the appearance of others.
And IF this woman is attractive, she most probably knows it - and then it makes her look like a monster, because by doing so she is putting down others for being "low" on something she is "high" on. This is cruel and heartless.
Thanks RichLP! And you are right. I would never tell someone something she said about them, but that doesn't mean other's wouldn't. And she is attractive, and says these things in a way that lump me in with her... and I just don't think that way about others! I tend to focus on who a person is more inside than out. I don't 'feel sorry' for someone because of their looks...
Anyway, I will let the discussion get back to the original subject.
_____________________________
Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18 (NIV)
"While we are, this is. If we lose this, we lose all." C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain
..TRUTH IN LOVE.. - Ephesians 4:15
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. My friends and I never bash looks of anyone. Ever. I do think those people will gravitate to each other so for them it will never end.
...... 
