If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (Full Version)

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TomTurn -> If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 8:43:40 AM)

If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (of course this does not mean the obvious like dating and other like, so please stay away from the obvious)

Me? Give up singing in the shower and cut toe nails more often (-:



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 9:04:07 AM)

Having an open door/phone policy at my house. I work with a lot of teens and college age students and they usually come and go as they please. *shrug* My fridge is always open too, but most are nice enough to leave a few bucks here and there to help with their eating habits. [8D]



ShallbeRebuilt -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 9:48:31 AM)

Things I'd have to give up that I'm not sure I want to...

...control of how I spend my money. OOH, it would really be nice to not be the one at fault for unwise use of money.

...control of how I spend my time. I don't remember this being a huge problem when I was married before, but after 9.5 years I'm very used to making my own decisions, and I think it would be a big adjustment to add someone else in to my calculations.

...my dreams of how a marriage is/used to be. I know that I've forgotten a lot of the hard stuff and remember mostly the good stuff...and I've probably made marriage much more of a solution in my head than it really will be, too.

Things I would have to do more...

...more housework. More cooking! This is not a bad thing, though.

...more relationship work. Between me and him, and him and my kids and maybe his kids. Yipes! This one really looks scary sometimes.

...more living simply. Less running myself to exhaustion before falling into bed. Need to save some for the hubby...which I would gladly do, but it will take an adjustment.

besiderself



Grace-N-Mercy -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 10:04:16 AM)

LOL! Yeah, I'd have to give up dating, but since I'm not doing much of that now, well, it's a moot point. [8D]

I'd have to give up a LOT of my independence. My solo trips to the mountains. My carefree way of living when I'm at home.

I'd have to do a lot more cooking and cleaning. And I'd have to learn to sleep with someone in my bed!!!! [sm=biggrin.gif]

I was thinking earlier that there would probably be a LOT of changes... moving to a new town, a new church... and with all the other changes I'd have to make, I think I'd be a little overwhelmed! At my age, I'm becoming more uncomfortable with big changes and kinda like my life the way it is. But on the other hand, I'd very much like to be married, to have someone to share my life with. I just hope the changes aren't too much all at once.



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 10:40:48 AM)

You know, I forgot about sharing my bed with someone. That's funny because when I went to bed last night I was curled up in a ball, with my cell phone on my pillow.

When I woke up all the blankets were on the floor, the pillows were all over the bed, and I was sprawled out clutching my phone! *grin*

Apparently my husband has his work cut out for himself. [8D]

I was trying to take a no so serious approach earlier as well. [;)]

I'd also have to get used to being accountable for how I spend my money. I want to go out and buy a new video game I can. I like that. When I'm married I don't plan on being so...carefree about finances. I plan on discussing as much as possible. [:)]



ShallbeRebuilt -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 12:13:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_

You know, I forgot about sharing my bed with someone. That's funny because when I went to bed last night I was curled up in a ball, with my cell phone on my pillow.

When I woke up all the blankets were on the floor, the pillows were all over the bed, and I was sprawled out clutching my phone! *grin*

Apparently my husband has his work cut out for himself. [8D]



That's funny Tink;

I don't worry too much about the someone-in-my-bed thing. My kids slept with us frequently when I was married. When my husband was killed we all moved into the same room with one another for about six weeks. After that I've rarely been alone for more than a couple nights in a row. Even my 24 year old slept with me one night recently when things were really tough with her bf--she just needed mom's comfort, and mom needed know I was doing something to help.

So that is not a problem. I look FORWARD to have a chest to lay my head on before I fall asleep...I miss that a lot.

besiderself



WaitingforBoaz -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 1:03:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: besiderself

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_

You know, I forgot about sharing my bed with someone. That's funny because when I went to bed last night I was curled up in a ball, with my cell phone on my pillow.

When I woke up all the blankets were on the floor, the pillows were all over the bed, and I was sprawled out clutching my phone! *grin*

Apparently my husband has his work cut out for himself. [8D]



That's funny Tink;

I don't worry too much about the someone-in-my-bed thing. My kids slept with us frequently when I was married. When my husband was killed we all moved into the same room with one another for about six weeks. After that I've rarely been alone for more than a couple nights in a row. Even my 24 year old slept with me one night recently when things were really tough with her bf--she just needed mom's comfort, and mom needed know I was doing something to help.

So that is not a problem. I look FORWARD to have a chest to lay my head on before I fall asleep...I miss that a lot.
besiderself


This got me misty eyed....I miss it too and look forward to doing it again. I love that feeling I got, that all was well with the world when we were like that.

Again, Our lives are so similar Esther. We all camped in the living room at the new house after hubby died. We all wanted to be together and no one wanted to sleep in the unfamiliar beds (the house was furnished)
Also, my daughter always ends up in my bed. She starts out in hers, but at some point during the night she comes to mine.

I will have to give up very little and I would gladly do it.

-All night reads will probably have to go.
-Jammie days may have to go.
-Making decisions regarding the kids alone. Might be hard but it depends on the guy.

I'm sure there will be alot more I will add to my life than take away.



Grace-N-Mercy -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 1:12:58 PM)

quote:

Making decisions regarding the kids alone.


[sm=funny.gif]

This is one of the things I'm looking forward to. Not that there are big decisions to make now, but sometimes you just need a male perspective when raising a man-child, kwim??


Oh, and I'll have to give up my all-day chocolate raids -- gotta keep this girlish figure for him, right?? [;)] But I'm not sure if jammie days will have to go... I'm sure there'll be a day or two, and I hope he joins me. [;)]



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 1:40:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy

quote:

Making decisions regarding the kids alone.


[sm=funny.gif]

This is one of the things I'm looking forward to. Not that there are big decisions to make now, but sometimes you just need a male perspective when raising a man-child, kwim??

Totally ditto this; twice seeing as how I have two man cubs. [;)] I actually look forward to the day that I don't have to answer them immediately and can say, "Let me talk to Dad first." [8D]



iwillfearnoevil -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 1:40:56 PM)

i started listing a few out but some have been mentioned and they're really all things i wouldn't mind giving up or doing more of. in terms of my day to day behaviors, my current "single" life is very much like my "married" life was. outside of work I am doing a lot of the same things (family stuff, games, shopping, going out to eat, road trips, concerts, etc) with friends, family, teens from youth group, or alone. so i don't really think in terms of giving up or doing more of, it's just that i don't have a close partner to share it with. "It's much more fun with two" as Winnie the Pooh says.



Mrs.Above_All -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 2:38:34 PM)

I have to say Tom that this is a very excellent thread! I am thankful that you are here creating threads like these. You get us to think about things that are important to singles, especially those who want to get married one day.

On that note I'll be back later to post my thoughts. Work. Ha.



John_O -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 3:56:26 PM)

I'd probably have to give up my wing back recliner. (My chair). It's getting pretty run downa nd the new wife will proabbly want to do away with it.

I'd have to let soemone else decorate the house (YAY!!!)

I'd have to keep a closer watch on finances as we'd be eating at home more.

I'd have to give up the remote at times after the Girl goes to bed.

Can't think of much else. All of these things I am willing, nay eager to give up.



utilityfielder -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 8:42:30 PM)

I would have to give up space in my house. I have lived here 18 years and it is full of my stuff. So I would have to clear some space out or else we would have to find another place to live.



shemaromans -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 8:42:47 PM)

I don't think that marrieds have to stop dating. It's important that they still spend alone time together like that.


When I get married, I'll have to...

...get used to not having as much solitary time

...maybe eat at more routine times

...possibly learn how to sleep while my husband snores

...share a closet

...more sincerely place another's needs above my own

...learn how to play the piano with him around

...actually iron clothes [:D]



CoeurdeLeon -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 9:26:56 PM)

I wonder if I'll have to give up some of my bookshelves for his books...



We're gonna need a bigger house and more bookcases![;)]



utilityfielder -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 9:29:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

I wonder if I'll have to give up some of my bookshelves for his books...



We're gonna need a bigger house and more bookcases![;)]


There was a middle aged couple that got married. One of them had a house. The bought another house of the same size and put it on the vacant lot next door and connected the two houses with a kitchen.



CoeurdeLeon -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 9:31:43 PM)

Okay, we'll use this house as-is and make the other house the library! Excellent idea![:D]



utilityfielder -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 9:37:32 PM)

I think they did something like that. Each one had their own office, and they had spare bedrooms for guests.



Grace-N-Mercy -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 9:53:29 PM)

I'm liking this house idea!!! [sm=thumbsup.gif]

I've got plenty of bookshelves as it is... yeah, combining houses will be interesting.



Prairiehiker -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 10:12:22 PM)

Hmmm...I don't know. I guess it would depend and who I marry. I honestly don't have a clue.

One thing for sure is that I'd have to give up a bit or a lot of my pride. That's the most significant thing that I have to give up. I'm working on that now. Maybe I have to give up a bit of control and independence (which is probably tied in to the pride issue).

Other than that, I think everything else seems insignificant (I hope so anyway). I'd gladly give up some of my free time. I'd probably have to do away with my spur of the moment vacations.

I guess If married, I'd have to do a lot more cooking, and cleaning, and housework.

Yeah, I sound like I dont have a clue about marriage. Good question. It gives me something to really think about.



J3jamie -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 10:55:20 PM)

I will gladly give up my apartment and being responsible for paying bills and taking out the trash.

I will NOT give up the remote or my blanket in bed. LOL



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (4/30/2008 10:58:15 PM)

I'll give up dealing with the cockroaches. [sm=biggrin.gif]

I have to admit Thing 2 has really stepped up to the plate on that one. Thing 1 is as big of a skeerdy cat as I am. [8D]



ladioffaith -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (5/1/2008 12:00:53 AM)

I'd love to hear a man sing, in the shower or anywhere else!

Independence is a big one.

I'd have to seriously clear out a lot of my junk, ill-fitting clothing, the whole lot.



BugLady -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (5/1/2008 12:09:32 AM)

I'd probably have to give up my friend, E. Rats!



rgod -> RE: If married, what would you have to give up, do more? (5/1/2008 8:52:07 AM)

Great thread! I love reading everything here.

I'll probably have to cook and clean more
I'll have to work with him on financial issues (actually I'm praying that he's a good financial manager so that he can handle a lot of it)
I'll probably give up some of my spontenaity (let's go to the mountains .... today!)
I will have to spend less time on my things (reading, internet, etc.) and more time on him, which will be awesome!

If (when) we have children, I'm sure I'll have to give up even more - especially when they are little.


Also, I don't mind cooking, but don't like doing it every day. It would be absolutely wonderful if he will share in the cooking (or better yet if he likes to cook - I don't mind cleaning). But, if he doesn't consistently, this is not a deal breaker. So I've got a plan: If I cook three times a week (2 different meals using basically the same ingredients), then there is one day (Saturday) when we'll either eat out or have something easy like sandwiches or things that we can easily make ourselves. Or ... if I'm crunched for time, I'll cook a lot on Sunday (casseroles, soups, pasta - or other things that freeze well) and each day all I'll have to do is prepare veggies.



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