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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/2/2008 7:19:57 PM
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magdaleine
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Sounds great, Dove! I'm glad you all had a great weekend. You needed that time away. And good for your daughter's psychiatrist!
I spent time with my son's psychiatrist this afternoon. She's a forensic psychiatrist. No idea why ds3 was sent to her but she's really nice. She says that ds3 doesn't talk very much in her office (when I told my son he was shocked--"I talk!" he said) and so she wanted some background info from me. After ds was finished with her and we drove away, we compared notes. She told him she thinks he has Asberger's, which is a form of autism. We know a boy with Asberger's--have watched him grow up--and ds is nothing like him. Sigh.
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/2/2008 7:21:22 PM
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magdaleine
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Oh. And I got another parking ticket. I should not have gotten this ticket. If they are right then their sign is at fault. I'm annoyed and am going to try to fight it.
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/2/2008 9:34:45 PM
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Doveflight
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Daughter's psych has not eliminated aspergers for her yet as well. Initially when I read the full info with characteristics I disagreed that this applied to her, but when we zero in on the social/relationship skills it really does seem to be relevant. More to learn and understand, I'm afraid. I have a monumental pile of paperwork and government forms to complete for funding, evaluations and expenses. I must set an afternoon aside to complete all that this week along with the list of other things to do.
I am impressed that your son's psychiatrist asked you in since he is an adult. I am sure she
will be of much moe help understanding his history and knowing your observations.
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If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I am made for another world. C.S. Lewis
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/3/2008 2:28:30 PM
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cherish405
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I'm glad you had such a good time away, Dove. And that the psych is being so helpful.
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/4/2008 12:08:17 AM
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magdaleine
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I've got to start doing something about my parking. Before this year I never got parking tickets. Earlier in the summer I got several, yesterday I got one and today I got a warning. Apparently if a meter is jammed and I park in that spot, I could get a ticket. That's not right! And if there is a pole with two signs on it, one pointing east saying no stopping from that pole eastward and the second saying that parking is allowed for two hours and pointing westward, you'd think that you could park your car on the west side of that pole, right? WRONG! It happens that that pole is right at a crosswalk and despite what the sign on the pole says, I should know that I can't park within 3 meters (10 yards) of that crosswalk. Except that as one pulls up, it's impossible to see that there is a crosswalk there. There is no intersection, no sign and no painted lines on the road. The only indication is that they've dipped the curb for wheelchairs.
Sheesh! I want to fight it but I don't know if I have the energy to. It means going to an office downtown (will I get another parking ticket for going into that office?), getting a form that dh has to sign because he's the registered owner of the car, and then taking it to the court and pleading my case before the magistrate. I'm sure I could win. They should have the sign further back. The guy I spoke to said, "You know to not park near a fire hydrant." Yes! But they also know better than to put a sign right beside a fire hydrant saying I can park there! Sheesh! I sound cranky, don't I?
Dove, I hope you get through all the reading and paperwork in front of you.
Yes, I was very impressed that my son's psychiatrist asked to see me. I saw my own psychiatrist today and she seems very interested to know what's happening with my son. So I told her the kinds of questions I was asked and how my son's doctor thinks he has Asperger's. As we talked about it more, she agrees that it probably isn't and encouraged me to let her know what I think. The key symptom of Asperger's is that the person is unaware of social cues and so talks and acts completely oblivious to whether or not people are listening or interested.
Ds3 is quite the opposite. He's so very conscious of what others are thinking that he is anxious and afraid to say the wrong things. I can't recall him ever making social blunders. I watched a boy with Asperger's grow up and ds is not like him at all. This boy was brilliant but totally clued out as to what was socially appropriate or not (would start questioning--arguing with--the pastor in the middle of the sermon when he was seven). Ds isn't like that. My son's psychiatrist gave me her card and asked me to phone her if I thought of anything else, but I don't like phones so I'm going to write her a letter instead. That way I can keep it on my computer desktop to add to as I think of more things and just make sure she gets it before she sees my son again in two weeks.
If I'm cranky, it's because of Barb. I try to avoid names here but Barb is such a common name I think I can get away with it. I've known Barb's husband since we were babies. Apparently at the age of 4 or 5 I was determined that I was going to marry him. He remembers this and so does my mom but it's wiped clean out of my brain. Because we grew up in the same denomination in close geographical proximity, we wound up at the same denomination-run boarding school for high school where he met and fell in love with Barb.
I knew who Barb was but I didn't really know her. She hung around with the kids who got bad marks and were always getting in trouble, and I was with the kids who got high marks and were goody-two-shoes. But the campus was both high school and college/seminary and I knew Barb's dad because he was a frequent visitor to the library where I worked to help pay my schooling costs. He and his wife got married when they were 14 and Barb is their eldest so there isn't really that much difference in dad and daughter's ages. I didn't have a clue they were related until near the end of my time there.
Anyway, I left school early (finished grade 12 by correspondence), got married, stayed married for four years, and then left my dh and moved to another city. There I happened to bump into either Barb or her husband and though we still had completely different lifestyles and didn't have a whole lot in common, I had no friends in the city and I guess she didn't either and so we quickly became best friends. We went out to bars, coffee shops, restaurants, wherever the two of us could visit without her husband and two little girls interupting--though I spent a lot of time in their house too.
We had a lot of fun. She loved to laugh. This was in the days when I wasn't following God and neither was she and that, combined with our youth, helped define where we went, what we did, what we talked about. She was just a wisp of a thing.
I left that city a few months after I invited God back into my life, and returned to my husband. I've seen Barb only once or twice since then and that a long, long time ago.
A few years ago, I heard she was dying of cancer. I never heard anything more and so I wasn't sure what to do with Christmas cards. If I addressed them to both her and her husband and she had died, it would be hard for her husband. If I addressed them just to him and she was living, it would hurt her. My solution was to not send any.
Imagine my surprise a couple days ago when I got a call from my mom to say this couple were in Winnipeg and wanted to meet! Oh yeah! Sure! So I went yesterday with my mom. The visit wasn't long enough though, so I arranged to visit with them again today.
She has changed so much. It was four years ago, on a visit to the eye doctor, that she learned she had a brain tumour and had probably had it for a good ten years. At the point of discovery, it was so large it was pushing her eye forward. She wasn't given long to live.
Miraculously, the tumour reduced drastically in size to maybe the size of a marble and she was doing well. Now it's starting to grow again and the treatment prescribed was gamma rays. Winnipeg is only one of two cities in the country, apparently, that has the gamma ray equipment so that is why they've been in the city.
She takes a drug called dexamethoasone that seemingly does nasty, nasty things. I did not recognize her. In fact, the two days I sat for several hours each time, it was hard to think of this woman in front of me being the same one I'd had so much fun with 27 years ago.
The drug has bloated her face and body to nearly twice the size. It has affected her speech and her memory. Sometimes she can remember her grandchildren's names and sometimes she can't. Her husband often had to finish sentences for her or supply a missing word because her mind couldn't recall it. The drug has made her diabetic (if she ever gets to go off the drug, the diabetes will also disappear). It gives her bruises for no good reason, she can't see well enough to read, and she has to use a walker and take meds for balance problems. She's a mess! But she still likes to talk and did most of the talking during both visits, despite her difficulties doing so.
And her husband must be an angel. He serves her in every way he can, anticipating her every need and yet willing to stay in the background while she takes the stage and yaks away. She keeps her address book in her purse but has to hand it to him to read any information she wants. He injects her with her insulin four times a day (he can do it without even hurting me, she says) and because she cannot manage the toilet alone, he helps her with that too. When she was first diagnosed and so very, very sick, he quit his job so he could stay home and look after her. Once his employment insurance ran out he went on social assistance. When some government official suggested that they divorce so that they could each apply for social assistance and thus get more money between them, he refused.
She seemed so pleased that I came to visit her, not just once but twice! I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her how much I love her but there never seemed an appropriate time, even when we said good-bye. I hated walking away and when I did, I started to cry. Life can be so cruel to some people. I still can't believe what this tumour and the medicine has done to my friend. Will I ever see her again? Will the treatment she came to receive make a difference and kill, reduce or stop the tumour? Will she have to fight this tumour and the deadly medication the rest of her life? How long will that life be? However long, she will continue to face it with all the fiestyness and humour that I remember from years before. At least that she hasn't lost.
And now that she's back in my life and I've seen first hand how she is, I can pray for her (I know, I should have been praying for her all along but I wasn't even sure she was still alive). I already added her to my prayer room map. God can do amazing things! She's alive now when she should have died four years ago. I think of Pengie and Dove--both living longer and more well than expected. She only lives about eight hours away. Maybe I'll pay her a visit.
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Maggie
Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/4/2008 12:00:05 PM
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cherish405
Posts: 32302
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That rots about the ticket, Maggie.
I'm glad you've got somebody to talk to about the Aspergers though. Can your psych suggest anything else that could be the problem instead?
Glad you know how to pray for Barb now.
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/4/2008 3:33:45 PM
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magdaleine
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Ray, I think Barb is a believer, though we didn't talk much about faith.
Trish, my psychiatrist thinks it's anxiety based.
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Maggie
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/4/2008 10:34:44 PM
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cherish405
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Wouldn't surprise me. I know how that goes.
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/4/2008 10:38:40 PM
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magdaleine
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I found out today that ds3's psychiatrist does see that there is an anxiety component and has given him a pill he can take if he sees he's going into an anxiety-causing situation. So today when he came over for me to help him fill out the application for Employment Insurance, he took a pill before we began. I think he still got anxious though.
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Maggie
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/5/2008 7:25:15 AM
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cherish405
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Hopefully it will start helping soon.
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/5/2008 12:25:17 PM
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magdaleine
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Ouch! But there's no point beating yourself up about it.
If Barb isn't a believer, it's not because she hasn't had the chance. She was raised in the church, as was her husband. Her dad is a pastor. She went to a Christian school. And I know none of those things necessarily mean she IS a believer. Hopefully, if I need to talk to her about committing her life to Jesus, I will get that opportunity. I'd have no trouble asking her about her relationship with Jesus.
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Maggie
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/5/2008 12:48:34 PM
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rayofson
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My friend was a native american.
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/7/2008 9:44:16 AM
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cherish405
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How are you doing today, Maggie?
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/7/2008 4:59:57 PM
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magdaleine
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Hi Trish! Today has been good and bad. It was good because I got up early enough to spend time in my prayer room before going to church. Church was good too, and so was the fund-raiser after church--a lunch set up to raise money for a family that's going for six months to our sister church in a third world country. We were served food from that country and got to see videos of our sister congregation and the surrounding area. I sat with some people I know, and really enjoyed that, but when I got up to buy something from the bake sale table, they got up and left without saying good-bye so when I returned to the table, I was alone. That was the bad thing. I found that very hard and wound up leaving shortly after wards--before the tears started falling and I had to explain them to someone. It was also bad because it was raining so instead of going for a walk in the church neighbourhood when I left, I went someplace else. I"m also tired, which isn't so nice. I'd love to sleep but that would ruin my sleep tonight. But the best thing today is that a problem I was having with my website/blog, that I thought would never be overcome WAS! woooo hoooo
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Maggie
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/7/2008 8:26:01 PM
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magdaleine
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Thanks, Pengie. Wow! That must have been scary having such trouble just walking through the house. But how nice that your husband took the time to stay home from work to look after you! He does have his nice moments, doesn't he? Are you going to be oaky driving to the dentist? I know when I get vertigo I can't drive. I will for sure be praying for you. {{{{{{{Pengie}}}}}}}}
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Maggie
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/8/2008 6:45:16 AM
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cherish405
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What country is your sister church in?
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/8/2008 8:19:46 AM
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magdaleine
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I answered in a pm, Trish.
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/9/2008 12:50:18 AM
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Pengie
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Thanks for your prayers, Maggie.
I did make it to the dentist today. It was a 2 hr apt to finish a root canal. I was shaking by the end of the apt and had to wait a while before driving home.
I am losing stength by the day, now. It is alarming to me how much I can't do that I could do just a couple of months ago! I am very much home bound now.
We are still homeschooling our daughter this year. She is doing very well so far. She is a huge help to me during the day and does a lot to care for me. She really is carrying a huge load for one just 16 years old. I worry about her. . .
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/9/2008 11:21:57 PM
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magdaleine
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Pengie, I'm glad you were able to keep your dental appointment but this losing strength business has me concerned. Do you see this as something temporary or as something that will continue to decline? And yes, that's a lot for your daughter to carry. Here in Canada (or at least in Manitoba), people who are confined to home because they are sick and/or are too weak to care for themselves and their home are eligible for homecare paid for, I think, by the government. Are you able to get any help like that? It would be good if you could.
I do pray for you and will continue to. {{{{{{Pengie}}}}}}}
Dove, how are you doing?
I've been working on uploading the photos from our trip last summer (I know--it's about time). When they're all up, I will let you all know and I'll pm the link to anyone who asks for it. It's fun reliving the trip through the photos and in making the captions.
I had a wonderful day today but it's too late to tell about it. Tomorrow will be full too.
HUGS to you all!
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Maggie
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/10/2008 2:06:57 PM
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Doveflight
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Hi Maggie,
I'm doing fine. Start chemo again next week. This will be the last of six treatments for this drug. Then on to something else less toxic I hope.
I am concerned about you ,Pengie, Have you investigated local resources to help you as your
health declines? What options are available to you? We have a good hospice program in my area or palliative care, which ever can be referred by your doc.
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If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I am made for another world. C.S. Lewis
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/10/2008 6:10:31 PM
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magdaleine
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Less toxic would be good, Dove. How long is this last treatment? You seem to be doing well, though you haven't posted too much lately. ARE you doing well?
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Maggie
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 9/11/2008 12:08:33 PM
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Doveflight
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Yes, I am doing OK right now. I am busy collecting paperwork for court, expense figures, etc and also filed for medical assistance for daughter so we can pursue more testing. Running kids to appts, activities, doctors, etc and now the daily homework routine. All this doesn't literally fill every day with breathless activitiy but it does keep me moving. I haven't been reading or stitching the last few weeks.
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If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I am made for another world. C.S. Lewis
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. Since my husband took off so much time he has to go in tomorrow. I just pray I have the strength to get there and back!