RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (Full Version)

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SonInMe1 -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/10/2008 7:38:31 PM)

The bible says to love our enemies. Can't really love someone from a....distance.

Love the unsaved, but not the world. Love the sinner, not the sin.

I think we can have close friends that are unsaved...just realize they do not live by our rules.

If we shelter ourselves only with christian friends would we be reflecting the actions of Christ? He surrounded Himself with sinners. All of His buds were sinners. ( The disciples were a mess )

You can't be light to the world behind a closed door.

You can't be salt if no one "tastes" you.

Isolating yourself from the world is what satan would have you do, in my opinion.



sunshine4God -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/10/2008 10:40:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SonInMe1

The bible says to love our enemies. Can't really love someone from a....distance.

Love the unsaved, but not the world. Love the sinner, not the sin.

I think we can have close friends that are unsaved...just realize they do not live by our rules.

If we shelter ourselves only with christian friends would we be reflecting the actions of Christ? He surrounded Himself with sinners. All of His buds were sinners. ( The disciples were a mess )

You can't be light to the world behind a closed door.

You can't be salt if no one "tastes" you.

Isolating yourself from the world is what satan would have you do, in my opinion.



I agree with everything you are saying!



Dakotasunbeam -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/10/2008 11:08:59 PM)

Yes, we can be friends with unbelievers, but certainly not intimate ones. Even long friendships with unbelievers never reach the level of intimacy and trust one could achieve with a believer. I agree totally with deermouse and the scripture she supplied. We are not to make them close confidants, and our witness really should be more than just our life--but an actual invitation. Sometimes, I find, becoming a CLOSE friend with an unbeliever can make a believer less readily deliver the gospel uncompromisingly to their friend for fear of offending them. Christ is offensive to unbelievers and as a believer it can be a temptation to bypass asking that unbelieving friend to recieve Christ, in order to "keep" the friendship "healthy." That is the biggest temptation I see in being an intimate friend with an unbeliever.

And yes, there does come a point when we are to decide an unbeliever isn't worth our time. Jesus told us. He said when you tell someone the gospel and they reject you, you're turn, shake the dust off of your feet and be on your way. It's a hard faith to live out, but its what Jesus Christ advised--and I think His was more than just a thoughtful suggestion. When Jesus Christ fraternized with unbelievers, it was for the express purpose of teaching the Gospel--this is where we and He diverge. Often we spend time with unbelieving friends for fun, relaxation, etc. His true friends were those who believed, as ours should be.



h_seaton -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/10/2008 11:34:17 PM)

I think we need to clarify what it means to be a "friend".

Absolutely we are called to "love our neighbor as [our]selves." We are also called to be witnesses, proclaiming the truth of Jesus our Christ throughout the whole earth. Jesus came to save the unrighteous, not the righteous.

I looked up the definition of the word friend. There were several, but the very first definition states that a friend is: "a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard." So according to the commandment we were given to love our neighbors as ourselves, we should be attached to many, many people by feelings of affection. Being loving to someone and sharing the gospel with them so that they might be saved from the wrath of God, sounds like something a friend would do, if this is the definition.

I believe SoldierInGodsArmy was referring to being chummy with someone and hanging out with them in our freetime and the such. Buddies. If this is the way he was thinking of the word "friend", then I agree with Soldier. He has provided many verses of scripture that back up his point. I am not about to argue with the Bible, the living word of my God.



quote:

ORIGINAL: SoldierInGodsArmy


"Do not be deceived: 'Evil company corrupts good habits.'" (1 Corinthians 15:33, NKJ)

"He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed." (Proverbs 13:20, NKJ)

"Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul." (Proverbs 22:24-25, NKJ)

"Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of evil. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn away from it and pass on." (Proverbs 4:14-15, NKJ)

"Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." (2 Timothy 2:22, NKJ)


I would also like to share that in my experiences, it is so hard to truly have non-christian buddies. It is so tempting to give into their temptation; whether they mean to tempt me or not, their lifestyle will tempt me. I don't want to insult them because they are my friends, so I water down the gospel when talking about it with them. And I joke and laugh about things that they say or do that God clearly detests.



h_seaton -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/10/2008 11:37:26 PM)

You must type faster than I do. =) I completely agree with what you are saying!


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam

Yes, we can be friends with unbelievers, but certainly not intimate ones.



Dakotasunbeam -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/10/2008 11:38:50 PM)

45 wpm on a bad day. [:D]
quote:

ORIGINAL: h_seaton

You must type faster than I do. =) I completely agree with what you are saying!


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam

Yes, we can be friends with unbelievers, but certainly not intimate ones.



SonInMe1 -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/11/2008 2:02:22 AM)

It sure is difficult to have unsaved friends.

Who said being christian was easy?



crm4souls -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/11/2008 2:52:08 AM)

Jesus said we are the light of the world. Jesus went to sinners homes and the religious people gave Him a hard time. God's plan is for us to be set free from sin, and become so strong in the Lord that we can minister to sinners just like we were. You can hang out with sinners and not sin. Make sure you are always light. If your light begins to dwindle and they are affecting you, more than you are affecting them, cut off the relationship. Don't ever fall into darkness. Stay strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. We are the light of the world, so let your light shine.



atheistinpeace -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/11/2008 4:29:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GroupW

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisCovenant

I thought that same thing!


AiP:
FYI - we're hiding little subliminal Christian messages in all the evolution posts to try to get you to convert. I think you'd make a great Christian.

BT


Thanks - I'll assume you're not being sarcastic! Trust me, I was a Christian, but a lousy one. I'm a much better secular humanist. (I hope.)



GroupW -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/11/2008 4:38:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: atheistinpeace

quote:

ORIGINAL: GroupW

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisCovenant

I thought that same thing!


AiP:
FYI - we're hiding little subliminal Christian messages in all the evolution posts to try to get you to convert. I think you'd make a great Christian.

BT


Thanks - I'll assume you're not being sarcastic! Trust me, I was a Christian, but a lousy one. I'm a much better secular humanist. (I hope.)


Well, something seems to have stuck. There's a great quote by C.S. Lewis in "Mere Christianity" that paraphrased reads something like "there are many christians out there who are further from Christ than they think, and many non-christians who are closer to Him than they know."



rcjames -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/11/2008 7:03:54 PM)

I think dakotasunbeam and deermouse make some good points.

It would depend on the definition of friend as to whether we could or not.

Does your relationship with a lost person give them (in their minds) a pass on continuing in their sin?

I doubt that Christ listened to dirty jokes when he was "Associating with sinners", or listened to course talking, he never condoned sin, and he was continually spreading the Gospel.

Do we tell our "Lost" friends to go and sin no more or do we just smile when they speak of their exploits, or tell the latest filthy joke?

Do we keep our "Christianity" under a bushel basket, or do we regularly tell our "Lost" friends of the wonders of Christ, or do we pass on the opportunity?

Thanks
RC



SonInMe1 -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/11/2008 8:05:43 PM)

Its not an always situation. Some people respond to the direct approach. Others do not for whatever reason. I think we should discern before we go out and beat people over the head with the bible.

Develop relationships with people so they can not only hear the gospel but see it in action. There is so much confusion out there, and a lot of it coming from christians, that to try to preach your doctrine, is just gonna turn people off.

A person who has a relationship with you is more likely to listen to you when they have assessed your charactor and know you a little more.

The three I's. Invest....develop a relationship....Integrity....be the light in the darkness....Invite....ask them to church. This is our "witness program" at our church.



ryder4christ -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/12/2008 12:30:12 PM)

I used to believe that Christians could not be friends with non-christian friends. Now, personally it depends on what the non-christian is open to recieve or if the person that wants to have friends outside the Christian faith has not rooted themselves in the habit of reading and praying the word. First of all, everyone should be evangelical. That does not mean go out and make intimate friendships with the non believers of the world, that just means to go out and try to reach them, love on them, let them know that God cares and so do you.. But here is the thing, did God call you to do that?
Personally, I have a friend that is a non-believer that used to be a Christian. Because of his questioning his faith, his other "christian" friends turned their backs on him and decided that they could not listen to the things that he has to say any longer. I was in a process in my life that I asked God to teach me how to love. And though it has been a test, the devil has taken a toll on this prayer because I have been tempted through being friends with this guy... We are breaking the mold of "religion" and getting into the limitless love of God. God's love has no limits. God loves the unbeliever... but he will not ever over ride a person's will to make them live in His own. It is all about choices. So, with that being said, I'm not going to turn my back on this friend. He has told me he sees Jesus in me... that must be confirmation that something is happening that he is getting a seed sown in his life, right? We are supposed to love anyone that will recieve love. And to those that can not love, they are supposed to see our light shining. If a person comes into your life that does not believe, MAKE SURE YOU ARE PRAYED UP, but don't turn that person away, they could get a life altering lesson from your love.



T.I.L. -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/12/2008 12:31:31 PM)

Quick question. Could you look at it as God bringing you into that person's life for a reason?

And as far as discerning for yourself that someone is 'stuck in their ways,' how do you know their heart? They might be fighting you with their words, but you really have no idea what they are thinking/feeling. Only God knows that. I think that is a slippery slope to judge someone's possible openess to the Gospel in the future.



SavedByGraceMD -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/12/2008 12:48:25 PM)

I just want to add, again, that I see nothing wrong with having friends who are not believers.

Yes, we do need to surround ourselves and fellowship with other believers, but it is those who we know who are not saved that need to be witnessed to. We need to use those friendships as an example, and tool to witness to them anyway we can. That doesn't mean we have to go out to the bars with them and get drunk as skunks, but it also doesn't mean we can't be friends with them if they choose to do that. If we really cared about them then we would want for them, what we have. Which is peace, salvation and a relationship with the Lord of all. Now of course this is all about existing relationships.
New relationships is a different ball game, but I still don't think we should turn our backs on someone due to their unbelief. If that was the case, Jesus would have turned His back on me a long long time ago. If He is gracious enough to be patient with us, shouldn't we do the same with others.



SavedByGraceMD -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/12/2008 12:49:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: T.I.L.

Quick question. Could you look at it as God bringing you into that person's life for a reason?

And as far as discerning for yourself that someone is 'stuck in their ways,' how do you know their heart? They might be fighting you with their words, but you really have no idea what they are thinking/feeling. Only God knows that. I think that is a slippery slope to judge someone's possible openess to the Gospel in the future.

good points T.I.L.



SonInMe1 -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/12/2008 8:28:42 PM)

God didn't give up on me.

Why should I be any different to unsaved people?



GroupW -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/13/2008 10:01:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SonInMe1

God didn't give up on me.

Why should I be any different to unsaved people?

I agree.

Plus every good friendship of mine, Christian or otherwise, I feel is a gift of God.



T.I.L. -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/13/2008 10:07:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SonInMe1

God didn't give up on me.

Why should I be any different to unsaved people?


Amen!



JazTek -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/13/2008 10:47:36 AM)

Totally agree.. we are called to witness. I have friends that have non-christians, they know I am a christian. I look for moments and times to share my faith and pray that the holy spirit does the rest



Zaneychic -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/14/2008 1:17:42 PM)

It is possible to be friends with non-christians and not get caught up in the world. It is also easy to get caught up if you do not stay prayed up and read The Word. It is harder to be married to a non-christian as a christian than simply being friends. I speak from an experience as a christian married to an unbeliever. He respects me though, and all I can do is live my life as God calls me to do, and when I make mistakes, and trust me, even the best christian does, own up to it and make ammends with them and God.



rcjames -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/14/2008 1:45:52 PM)

So what passages of Scripture are folks using for being buddies and holding back on witnessing to folks because they are friends.

Since this question comes up a lot at the home groups I teach at Oklahoma University (Go Sooners) I am seriously interested.


Thanks
RC



JesKlu -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/14/2008 1:54:07 PM)

I second some of the posts on here. I believe you can be friends with unbelievers, but you shouldn't get too close with them. The reason you shouldn't get too close is because if you want to witness to them, and your friendship with the unbeliever now is deep and close, you will not want to witness because, by that time, you want to keep the friendship and not offend them by your witnessing. So for those who share this view, I second you.

Your sister in Christ Jesus,
Jessica



Fervor -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/15/2008 3:26:38 PM)

I used to be so religious, that I wouldn't take any time to love on people, especially "sinners". I was too busy being a "good" christian to love my neighbor as myself, which is one of the two greatest commands.

I leave the reader with a couple questions:

1) Were you friends with any christians before you became a believer, and did they have an impact in your life?
2) When Jesus tasked us with the Great Commision, to make disciples of all nations, was he talking about just the Christian nations?

It is true that bad company corrupts, but Jesus doesn't give up on people. He spent much of his time with prostitutes, tax collectors, and sinners. In doing so he set the example for us. If people lead you to sin, you should flee from them. But if you could share the love of Christ with someone who is ready to recieve it, you should.

If you need any proof of the truth in this subject, I encourage you to read the gospels again...

With Love,

Fervor



SavedByGraceMD -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/15/2008 3:33:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fervor

I used to be so religious, that I wouldn't take any time to love on people, especially "sinners". I was too busy being a "good" christian to love my neighbor as myself, which is one of the two greatest commands.

I leave the reader with a couple questions:

1) Were you friends with any christians before you became a believer, and did they have an impact in your life?
2) When Jesus tasked us with the Great Commision, to make disciples of all nations, was he talking about just the Christian nations?

It is true that bad company corrupts, but Jesus doesn't give up on people. He spent much of his time with prostitutes, tax collectors, and sinners. In doing so he set the example for us. If people lead you to sin, you should flee from them. But if you could share the love of Christ with someone who is ready to recieve it, you should.

If you need any proof of the truth in this subject, I encourage you to read the gospels again...

With Love,

Fervor

Very well put Fervor. I think you hit it right on the head. God bless.



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