Letting yourself....GO... (Full Version)

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truthrevealed -> Letting yourself....GO... (6/6/2008 2:40:27 PM)

Is it a responsibility of a spouse to keep themselves up physically for (themselves, first of course)but also for their partner? I've heard some joke(?) that you can't blame a spouse for a wandering eye if you haven't done what you should to maintain yourself physically.

Are you someone who delights in "looking good" for your spouse? (do you dress up for them? wear the things that they like? do your hair as they like etc? and are things such as that important in marriage because it shows love?

OR do you feel it's less than love if a partner does not except the fact that you have......let yourself go????



iwillfearnoevil -> RE: Letting yourself....GO... (6/6/2008 3:06:18 PM)

if physical appearance is one of your spouse's top emotional needs than effort should be taken to keep up appearances. the bible is clear wandering eyes are bad but i see this as a matter of trying to make your spouse happy.



truthrevealed -> RE: Letting yourself....GO... (6/6/2008 3:25:34 PM)

Should not our spouse expect the same amount of attention and care we gave ourselves(physically) when we were single and dating?



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Letting yourself....GO... (6/6/2008 3:34:21 PM)

quote:

Should not our spouse expect the same amount of attention and care we gave ourselves(physically) when we were single and dating?


I suppose. But I'm very glad my dh fell in love with me while I was fat and not wearing makup. Anything more than that is an improvement, then. [8D]

Here's the thing--anyone expecting their spouse to *look* the same after a few years of marriage is foolish. We get older. Life changes. Committments to family can make it harder to get to the gym 5 days a week.
And for most women, pregnancy changes our bodies *forever*. Stretch marks, a little sagging. Actually, my whole body shape shifted after pregnancy, and it's not going back to my not-quite-lithe 19 year old body. Ever. [8|]

Thank God for a dh who isn't hung up on looks. [:)]



car2ner -> RE: Letting yourself....GO... (6/6/2008 3:35:21 PM)

I have high heels only because it pleases my husband. I wear them on special occassions. He in turn appreciates the effort I put into trying to look pleasing for him. I am much harder in assessing my appearance than he is. He lets me know when I look good to him and I still blush.



jaimestarcross -> RE: Letting yourself....GO... (6/6/2008 3:57:57 PM)

I think it's a good idea to make one's self attractive regardless of shape or age... I also think it's a good idea to exercise and eat properly so we can be able to fulfill our responsibilities for the Lord and maintain His temple.



Szaftoo -> RE: Letting yourself....GO... (6/6/2008 4:58:36 PM)

Just my opinion, but I feel I should make an attempt to look presentable all the time. Of course I don't look the same as when we met but I can still work with what I have and I know he appreciates it. I also feel like I can't teach my kids about being responsible for their health and appearance if I don't.



Roberta_ -> RE: Letting yourself....GO... (6/6/2008 5:10:49 PM)

I think that it's important to do the best you can, bearing in mind that you will have changes that you or your spouse won't always like.



buckifn -> RE: Letting yourself....GO... (6/6/2008 5:36:15 PM)

quote:

Is it a responsibility of a spouse to keep themselves up physically for (themselves, first of course)but also for their partner?


Yes, our body is a temple of God and we are responsible for taking care of it to the best of our ability. There is no excuse to do otherwise



kohls356 -> RE: Letting yourself....GO... (6/6/2008 6:44:49 PM)

I think we should try to keep ourselves up. I don't think it is necessary to be all dressed up as if you are going out on a special occasion but I also don't think we should look like we just got out bed either.

I have let myself go for certain reasons, after having a baby, being sick etc. But normally I shower daily, wear clean clothes, make sure my hair is done and I like to wear make-up.

We will all go through changes as we age and that is expected. I could stand to lose about 20 pounds and would be really happy to get 30 off and I am in the process of doing that. Mostly for myself though because I want to be at a healthy weight and I am not getting any younger. I am learning the older I get the harder it is to maintain my weight. I often wonder what my husband really thinks but then I also remember that he isn't the same as we were married, he has a few more pounds and a little less hair, and I don't think any differently about him, so hopefully the feeling is mutual.



needtochange -> RE: Letting yourself....GO... (6/6/2008 8:20:39 PM)

Honestly I think my spouse should love me no matter what I look like and vice versa. I have let myself go a lot. Most of it is due to depression, but my hubby still tells me I am beautiful and I have never seen him have a wandering eye.

I do shower everyday, but due to finances, I do not have enough clothes to just wear regular clothes just for the heck of it. I have two pairs of pants and 6 nice shirts. So most days I wear a t-shirt and shorts. I never wear make-up anymore because it is too expensive. I don't wear heels because I have foot problems.

I am sure my hubby wishes I would dress nicer, but he never makes me feel bad for letting myself go. I think a husband should move his wife for who she is. He encourages me when i say I want to lose weight, but he is always nice about it.



buckifn -> RE: Letting yourself....GO... (6/6/2008 9:07:06 PM)

Just because a woman is in shorts and a t-shirt it does not mean something negative...and the same is true if she is without makeup.

I think less makeup is more beautiful....showing the natural beauty God gave you is the greatest beauty of all....

I had the urge once to ask this very attractive woman why did she ruin her looks by adding so much makeup...but I know that wouldn't go over to well..[:D]



scottmcc1 -> RE: Letting yourself....GO... (6/6/2008 9:39:07 PM)

Eating properly and exercise is not only good for your health but will cause you to look better. And you will have a better outlook on life, which I think causes you to look better also.



kohls356 -> RE: Letting yourself....GO... (6/6/2008 11:11:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: needtochange

Honestly I think my spouse should love me no matter what I look like and vice versa. I have let myself go a lot. Most of it is due to depression, but my hubby still tells me I am beautiful and I have never seen him have a wandering eye.

I do shower everyday, but due to finances, I do not have enough clothes to just wear regular clothes just for the heck of it. I have two pairs of pants and 6 nice shirts. So most days I wear a t-shirt and shorts. I never wear make-up anymore because it is too expensive. I don't wear heels because I have foot problems.

I am sure my hubby wishes I would dress nicer, but he never makes me feel bad for letting myself go. I think a husband should move his wife for who she is. He encourages me when i say I want to lose weight, but he is always nice about it.


I wouldn't consider that letting yourself go at all. During the summer I am in shorts and a t-shirt and in the winter a hoodie and jeans most days. I don't think you have to wear heels and be dressed up to think you haven't let yourself go. Depending on the situation I will dress up or down. I do wear make-up every day because I feel better about myself but if I go out somewhere nice, not often, I wear more. For daily wear I just use blush, powder, and mascara. When we go out I will wear eye liner, eye shadow and possibly lip stick but that sure isn't daily.

I don't think you have to be dressed nice or anything like that all the time to be considered not letting yourself go. To me that is not taking care of yourself, not showering or bothering to even comb your hair.



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