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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/15/2008 9:05:29 AM
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amybreit
Posts: 860
Joined: 2/10/2006
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quote:
One big thing was that I volunteered to run Sunday School but struggled big time. I had to almost beg Pastor to pay attention to what I was doing and get some help. No-one came forward to help me and I'm sure all those women I'm talking about spoke to the children about me and about how pathetic my 'Sunday School' was.
Ruby, I just want to encourage you not to let these kinds of thought ruminate in your head. I bet none of those women think that & none would dare to speak it to their kids if they did think it. But IF they have done that, that is really their problem & not yours! You volunteered & did your best & in your estimation it didn't go well. Are you sure that others feel the same. Personally, I am very thankful to all those who volunteer with kids at our church (even when I'm less than thrilled with the curriculum or other items). Most parents know that volunteering with kids isn't easy (that's why many don't volunteer - even though it can be very rewarding!) & it really can be a thankless job. I know that I tend to think others are judging me as harshly as I judge myself, but really I am probably my own worst critic!
I agree with several posters who talked about trying to break into a group & how it's often that the people there have known each other for so long. I came across that in our homeschooling group. Many moms in the group grew up around here & still are in touch with friends from school or youth group and have most of their family here too. It made it hard to get to know others! Frankly, they didn't really need any new friends. Not that they were rude or anything, just I had a need that they didn't. Well, after voicing my frustration to a few other moms, it turns out there are others who have felt the same thing! I wasn't alone!!! So, I started a Mom's Support Group within our hs group. We meet one night a month at a restaurant, coffe place or someone's house & just socialize. Some months there are only 3 or 4 of us (but that's OK)! I'd say most of the women who attend are transplanted here from somewhere else & we often have moms who are new to the group attend! We have different people each month, but it has helped fill a void for me & I've gotten to know some wonderful ladies this way.
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<------ Staci & Stoli, our k9 kids!
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/15/2008 10:40:09 AM
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Rivermoon
Posts: 56
Joined: 3/20/2006
From: T.O., Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
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Hi Amybreit,
Thanks so much, you've shared a great tip for us, at least to me, i.e. be proactive. I'm amazed that you're not discouraged by the fact that you've the needs while others don't. So you just act on getting your needs satisfied while openly including the others who have the same needs, and never turn anyone who have the same needs down, as you have been there, and you do understand. You set an example for me to follow. :-)
Keep being encouraged,
Rivermoon. :-)
_____________________________
=^O^=
Hope for the Best, Prepare for the Worst
"And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength." Deuteronomy 6:5 (NLT)
*** PUSH- Pray Until Something Happens ***
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/27/2008 2:43:40 PM
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RubySparkles
Posts: 262
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
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I have to start by saying that I'm sorry I'm only ever around here when I have a problem. I'm mean, I read other threads but I only really seem to talk when I need to purge bad feelings.
I'm looking for another church to go to next week. I'm not saying I'm going to leave my church right now but I really want to start looking around. I visited a friend yesterday and she and her husband were inviting me to their church. I've been there before but many years ago.
It just that I found out today that there's another thing going on among the people at church that I'm not invited to. One girl is having an engagement party. In our culture it's pretty much the same as getting married. I was really hurt at first but I just guess that these things are expensive and she can't invite everyone. I know she's self employed and doesn't really earn much. I'm not holding anything against her or anyone else personally. I'm just tired of trying to fit in and I want to just have a look at somewhere else, church shouldn't be this hard. There's not much wrong with the teaching (just the occasional cultural bias). Like I said last time, I let things like this affect me because I'm trying to compensate for the family I don't have. I probably need therapy.
_____________________________
Lord, all our success is because of what you have done, so give us peace.
Is 26:12
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/27/2008 5:48:07 PM
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Rivermoon
Posts: 56
Joined: 3/20/2006
From: T.O., Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
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quote:
I have to start by saying that I'm sorry I'm only ever around here when I have a problem. I'm mean, I read other threads but I only really seem to talk when I need to purge bad feelings.
I'm looking for another church to go to next week. I'm not saying I'm going to leave my church right now but I really want to start looking around. I visited a friend yesterday and she and her husband were inviting me to their church. I've been there before but many years ago.
It just that I found out today that there's another thing going on among the people at church that I'm not invited to. One girl is having an engagement party. In our culture it's pretty much the same as getting married. I was really hurt at first but I just guess that these things are expensive and she can't invite everyone. I know she's self employed and doesn't really earn much. I'm not holding anything against her or anyone else personally. I'm just tired of trying to fit in and I want to just have a look at somewhere else, church shouldn't be this hard. There's not much wrong with the teaching (just the occasional cultural bias). Like I said last time, I let things like this affect me because I'm trying to compensate for the family I don't have. I probably need therapy.
Hi Ruby,
Very similar things as you said above are happening to me too.
1) I'm looking for new church right now. I was also invited by a married couple friends of mine to their church when I visited them last week. I'm giving it a try to that church this coming Sunday. I'm kinda of hesitant as I need to do about 20-30 mins. driving there 1 way. Even though I have been driving that much to the current church these 6 months. But once you lose heart in a church, or you haven't settled your heart in one, you just need to drag yourself to these churches when they are not near by. I'm at the same time, trying out another church just 2 minutes from where I live, this morning. I have good feeling about that church. But I still need to give myself some time, and I need to pray about it. I feel sad, as I am truly very tired and emotional drained about my church experience. But I know I have to keep actively looking for one until I find one that fits my needs.
2) Just about 2 weeks ago, I'm still struggling if I should leave the current church I have been attending for the past 6 months. I went to the mid-week service last Wednesday, and something happened that froze my heart, and I know that it's not a good sign to stay and maybe it's the time to move on. I keep telling myself trying to give that church more time, as maybe the more I wait, the more I get involve, the more I will feel different and more accepted. But I believe I have made my decision. Now I just need to let God to confirm if he opens door to another church for me.
3) The married couple I mentioned above also shared one of their bad church experiences at one of the churches they attended before, which really spoke my language. The wife said they feel they are welcomed when they are new to the church, as they were greeted by greeters that first week. But once they come back to the church the following weeks, they no longer feel the warmth and acceptance, as if once you're in, you're on your own. This is the exact feeling I feel in the church I'm about to leave.
Therefore I keep telling myself, the church I'm going to look for and plan to settle in is a church that speaks the truth, the sermon is benefiting, as well as, there's a community in the church that is accepting, and have a passion to do God's work and want to impact to the community.
The married couple friends of mine and I share the same opinion when I visited them at their house and chatted for close to 3 hours that we all see so many Christians who are so comfortable in their comfortable lives that they don't have the initiative and passion to step out of their comfort zone to do God's work. I met so many Christians in my current church that they are so contented in their own good materialistic well-provided lives that they meet up just to have fun with each time to kill the time and spend the money. Yeah, fellowship is important, but it's not just about social lives, instead it's more about sharing of mind and heart, and care for the community, and encouraging and supporting each other to step out to do God's work.
I'm so disheartened, but at the same time, I am truly longing for such a God's family as described in the Bible. I really hope I can find one eventually, I truly hope. And hope you'll find yours too. We are both hurt so much by the typical church lives, we need to be healed and encouraged and keep moving on.
Will pray for you always, and please, please not to give up, as I keep telling myself not to, otherwise, I'll totally surrender and give up church life, which I don't think God wants me to do so.
Do keep encouraged,
Do take care & God Bless,
Rivermoon. :-)
P.S. btw, I've been seeing Christian counseling for 4 years now. Pray about it, if God wants you to go for it, do so. :-)
< Message edited by Rivermoon -- 7/27/2008 9:47:03 PM >
_____________________________
=^O^=
Hope for the Best, Prepare for the Worst
"And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength." Deuteronomy 6:5 (NLT)
*** PUSH- Pray Until Something Happens ***
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 8/10/2008 3:36:28 PM
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rgod
Posts: 1159
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
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Ruby - how is it going? Did you get a chance to check out another church yet?
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