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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 1:40:45 PM
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mutinywxgirl
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Thank you - scary what comes out of me when I just let the fingers fly and God direct what I'm saying. 
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When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 2:00:32 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26543
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~ ~ ~ ~ ~
quote:
ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz
Age has nothing to do with whether or not I will ever have another husband the only thing that has anything to do with it is Gods will. Amen!
quote:
ORIGINAL: thedivabrat
I am not sure I understand "coping" with singleness. Being single is not a disease or disability! And I am pretty sure married people are sometimes or even often lonely. Amen!
quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
You know, life is very much about trade-offs. No set of circumstances is perfect. Amen!
Gayle, I'm 45 . . .
I've been married twice. I'm currently not married.
My first marriage ended in divorce.
My second marriage ended when my husband took his life.
(There was also a 21-year period from when I divorced my first husband and married CS).
Additionally, even though I have been married twice, I have never celebrated an anniversary with a spouse (my first marriage, I was separated when the 1st anniversary came; I was widowed when my 1st anniversary with CS arrived).
I have given birth to one child, but the last time I saw him, he was 3 days old . . . I placed him for adoption over 23 years ago.
At this time in my life, I have no family (nor have I had any in over 18 years).
During my childhood and teen years, I experienced physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse and neglect from a conglomerate of people.
During my early 20's, I also experienced plenty of self-abuse from myself.
My point in telling you all this is that I do not dwell on those things, nor do I let them control my life.
I dwell on JESUS; and WHO He is and WHAT He has done and continues to do in my life.
I am Sharon-Marie, Daughter of the Most High King . . . that absolutely overshadows everything else.
I think that whatever a person inwardly focuses on is what others will outwardly see in them.
50??? Bring it on! 
(Besides, I have a thing for birthdays ending in zero; I think they're the ultimate!)
In fact, I'm already planning for my 50th birthday party.
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 6:14:24 PM
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thedivabrat
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You go girl!
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This is the day the Lord has made; let us be glad and rejoice in it. Ps 118:24
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 7:37:47 PM
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Prairiehiker
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quote:
I am not sure I understand "coping" with singleness. Being single is not a disease or disability! And I am pretty sure married people are sometimes or even often lonely.
Being single requires some coping mechanism, if we are being honest with ourselves. No, it's not the greatest place we find ourselves in. In fact, some of these questions, or even threads wouldn't be created if we really believe that life couldn't be better as a single person.
A lot of things we do is part of coping with learning how to navigate our lives as a single person. Some of us pursue higher education, pick up new hobbies, join new clubs, volunteers in various organizations, learn to do the things we'd always wanted to do, all because we wanted to do something productive with our time and keep ourselves occupied. If we are married, we might not even think about doing those things. I'm not saying we're better than married people, but we live a richer life because we're trying to "cope" with being single.
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Money in the bank may be nice, but it will never beat sunrise from a sleeping bag in the mountains. " - climbhard511
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 7:47:25 PM
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CoeurdeLeon
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That's only true if we say that every set of circumstances requires coping mechanisms. Marrieds are coping with being married, parents are coping with parenting, etc., and then it's all a wash anyway. Everyone's coping with something so what difference does it make to say it?
Some people may find being single a matter of coping but that doesn't mean that all singles experience it that way.
_____________________________
The beatings will continue until the morale improves.
9.7.08
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 8:10:09 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16713
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I heard it said that those who cannot handle singleness, God gives marriage. And those who cannot handle marriage, He gives singleness, go figure.
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 8:41:25 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
That's only true if we say that every set of circumstances requires coping mechanisms. Marrieds are coping with being married, parents are coping with parenting, etc., and then it's all a wash anyway. Everyone's coping with something so what difference does it make to say it?
Some people may find being single a matter of coping but that doesn't mean that all singles experience it that way. I agree
quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
I'm not coping with being single. I just am. Again, I agree.
quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
Some people may find being single a matter of coping but that doesn't mean that all singles experience it that way. I especially agree with this (and intentionally quoted it again).
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 8:53:53 PM
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Prairiehiker
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quote:
Some people may find being single a matter of coping but that doesn't mean that all singles experience it that way
I stand corrected. I guess I'm the only one "coping" with singleness. Perhaps I'm new to this. Not new as newly single, but new to the thought of living life as a single person for a loooong time. I was living a happy go lucky life until 2 years ago when I thought that this might be alone for the rest of my life.
So, yes, I'm coping. And I don't mean anything negative by it. In fact, I like what I'm learning, and doing, and becoming. But would I rather be married? Of course I would. Would I rather have someone to go on vacations with, to go on my long bike rides, to have someone to come home to at the end of the day, to eat dinner with a regular companion, to share my deepest, most intimate thoughts, to have someone to cuddle up in bed with every night? I'd trade my single life for a good relationship with a man who loves me. Because in the long run, having a close personal, intimate relationship with someone and do life with them is, for me, more desirable than doing all the things I've been doing alone. So, even though I'm enjoying life, this is part of my "coping".
Again, before you jump at me, I'm saying that this is from my perspective on my life as a single person and I apologize for lumping you all in there.
< Message edited by Prairiehiker -- 7/13/2008 9:00:00 PM >
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Money in the bank may be nice, but it will never beat sunrise from a sleeping bag in the mountains. " - climbhard511
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 9:06:24 PM
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BugLady
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quote:
Again, before you jump at me, I'm saying that this is from my perspective on my life as a single person and I apologize for lumping you all in there.
There's no need to apologize, Prairiehiker. At least not to me. We each have our own perspective of how we see our singleness. In fact, the only time I really give it much thought is when I discuss it here.
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Human trafficking is the 3rd largest source of income for organized crime, generating $7 billion a year.
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 9:06:24 PM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 1997
Joined: 11/8/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
I heard it said that those who cannot handle singleness, God gives marriage. And those who cannot handle marriage, He gives singleness, go figure.
That's a fine saying, Mike. Have you seen that saying supported in scripture?
I have now been single in my life for much longer than I've been married: and I do not feel I handle singleness well at all--in this area I am definitely coping. Of course, that's based on my own perception and not God's, but that's all I have to go on. So what's the deal? Am I the exception that proves the rule or something?
Not meaning to be argumentative at all, here...just want to point out that we should be careful to evaluate all "cultural knowledge" such as the above statement with the measuring rod of scripture.
Rather, I believe in something a lot more hopeful. I believe that God gives me the grace each day to handle the plans He has for me for that day...whether that's "coping" with singleness or "coping" with marriage or "coping" with cleaning the toilets.
Yes, I would say "coping" is a part of most of our lives. I have to "cope" with things I don't particularly care for in many areas of my life--anybody here absolutely love to clean toilets? But that doesn't make me less of a person or something of a handicapped single because I "cope" with singleness. In fact, I figure if I'm coping, then I'm doing better than the person who refuses to cope and merely lets life run over them and make them into a whiny, bitter complainer. If I'm "coping", then I'm accessing God's grace to deal with the things in my life that I wish were different, and accessing God's grace is something that pleases Him!
besiderself
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 9:14:12 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16713
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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quote:
That's a fine saying, Mike. Have you seen that saying supported in scripture?
It was meant tongue and cheek. 
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 9:17:29 PM
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CoeurdeLeon
Posts: 8922
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
And speaking only for myself, that is the point I was hoping to make . . . for me, posts are much easier to read (and I'm more willing to read them) when I'm not being lumped into a category that I may or may not fit. Quite often, I truly don't fit into whatever someone is discussing when they are writing it as inclusive of all (or even most) people in a certain lifestyle (i.e., being a single person).
This is exactly my feeling as well and the reason for my post originally.
What you said here, Prairie...
quote:
But would I rather be married? Of course I would. Would I rather have someone to go on vacations with, to go on my long bike rides, to have someone to come home to at the end of the day, to eat dinner with a regular companion, to share my deepest, most intimate thoughts, to have someone to cuddle up in bed with every night? I'd trade my single life for a good relationship with a man who loves me. Because in the long run, having a close personal, intimate relationship with someone and do life with them is, for me, more desirable than doing all the things I've been doing alone.
Is true for you. But it's not true for me. I'm not so sure I would rather be married. You spoke of a "richer life" in your earlier post. There is no "richer", there are only different kinds of richness. 
_____________________________
The beatings will continue until the morale improves.
9.7.08
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 9:26:42 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26543
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quote:
ORIGINAL: besiderself
Yes, I would say "coping" is a part of most of our lives. I have to "cope" with things I don't particularly care for in many areas of my life--anybody here absolutely love to clean toilets? Esther, this made me laugh!
No, I don't absolutely love to clean toilets . . . but neither do I consider it to be coping when I do clean 'em. In fact, I don' | | | |
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