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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 9:37:53 PM
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thedivabrat
Posts: 426
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: North and South
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I did not mean to offend anyone or hurt any feelings when I said I did not understand "coping" with singleness. But the truth is I don't understand--but I can understand a feeling of discontent with life at times. This happens for many different reasons and seasons of life. But to feel you are coping with an issue is (to me) sad. Again nothing I say here is meant to offend or hurt --it is just part of the discussion. I don't believe there is a right or wrong in this.
Prairiehiker please forgive me--I was too direct and posted without first considering your heart.
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This is the day the Lord has made; let us be glad and rejoice in it. Ps 118:24
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 9:39:22 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 1297
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quote:
Is true for you. But it's not true for me. I'm not so sure I would rather be married. You spoke of a "richer life" in your earlier post. There is no "richer", there are only different kinds of richness
Like I said, I said it was from my perspective as a single person and I already apologized for lumping you all in there. THere are some of us, or maybe even just one of us *see me raising my hand* that go through the difficult loneliness of being single.
And I would agree to disagree with you on the issue of rich, richer, richest life. There are definitely people that are poor in the spirits. Ive seen people who are totally down in the dumps all the time, and They just can't find a different way of looking at things. They run around in circles like a mouse on a treadmill trying to find their way out but using the same strategy that never got anywhere. So from that perspective, yes, there are poorer way to live, and richer way to live. I'm not just existing or surviving. I'm living and part of living is choosing the direction to go to when dealing with difficulties. Those are what I meant by coping.
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Money in the bank may be nice, but it will never beat sunrise from a sleeping bag in the mountains. " - climbhard511
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 9:45:16 PM
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CoeurdeLeon
Posts: 8716
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
quote:
Is true for you. But it's not true for me. I'm not so sure I would rather be married. You spoke of a "richer life" in your earlier post. There is no "richer", there are only different kinds of richness
Like I said, I said it was from my perspective as a single person and I already apologized for lumping you all in there. THere are some of us, or maybe even just one of us *see me raising my hand* that go through the difficult loneliness of being single.
And I would agree to disagree with you on the issue of rich, richer, richest life. There are definitely people that are poor in the spirits. Ive seen people who are totally down in the dumps all the time, and They just can't find a different way of looking at things. They run around in circles like a mouse on a treadmill trying to find their way out but using the same strategy that never got anywhere. So from that perspective, yes, there are poorer way to live, and richer way to live. I'm not just existing or surviving. I'm living and part of living is choosing the direction to go to when dealing with difficulties. Those are what I meant by coping.
Apparently I need to apologize as well. I certainly wasn't telling you that you are wrong about your perspective. I was merely describing mine. It's often difficult for us to understand how other people see things if they don't explain it. Please forgive me for making it seem as though I was jumping on you.
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Dare to be indifferent
9.7.08
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 9:49:44 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 1297
Joined: 12/11/2007
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quote:
But to feel you are coping with an issue is (to me) sad.
Sorry to that my life is making you sad. Honestly, it's not bad. I'm just honest about what's going on inside me.
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Money in the bank may be nice, but it will never beat sunrise from a sleeping bag in the mountains. " - climbhard511
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 9:54:26 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 13197
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From: west coast of FL
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While this thread is about 50 being a death sentence and what we think of it, I do believe that the discussion that has taken place is a good one. I am going to start another thread to continue this portion of the discussion
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When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 9:55:50 PM
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thedivabrat
Posts: 426
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: North and South
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Oh dear I seem to have a problem in the area of communication. You don't make me sad--the idea of coping with this makes me sad. I am not thinking you are pining away in your closet--or that you are utterly miserable--I am just putting my thoughts down--like you are. I guess I will shut up and not make things worse.
_____________________________
This is the day the Lord has made; let us be glad and rejoice in it. Ps 118:24
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 10:57:58 PM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 1967
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: online
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WRB, I actually figured all that you just said...it seemed to me that we must be saying the same thing but using different words to say it.
To me, "coping" does not have the same connotations that it does to you. Therefore to you and a couple of others, here, claiming to be "coping" with singleness implies some sort of stigma on singleness, while to others like me it is only just us living with our life situations which are not always what we want, but carrying no stigma.
Yay! We're on the same page!
And now, ladies and gentlemen, I am going to click over and tune in on the new thread on this subject...
besiderself
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<<<THAT is my voice professor. And yes. He said that.
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/15/2008 11:24:52 AM
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caviezelfan
Posts: 4
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: Nashville, TN
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Being an unmarried single after the age of 50 can feel like a "death" sentence, but being single at that age, after a bad marriage/relationship can be a blessing, I guess. Being an unmarried single after the age of 50 can make a person wonder where they have failed - what could they have done better? Where did they go wrong? Why do people treat them like they are from another planet? Remaining an unmarried single, after 50, is a choice. They can choose to remain unmarried, if they enjoy the single life, or they can feel like an outcast because they have nothing in common with, and can't enjoy interacting with their married/engaged/attached friends. Unmarried singles can't "see" things the same way as their married/engaged/attached counterparts, and that makes it hard to understand and enjoy these things.
That is my two cents' worth.
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/15/2008 11:30:34 AM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3957
Joined: 3/30/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: caviezelfan
Being an unmarried single after the age of 50 can feel like a "death" sentence, but being single at that age, after a bad marriage/relationship can be a blessing, I guess. Being an unmarried single after the age of 50 can make a person wonder where they have failed - what could they have done better? Where did they go wrong? Why do people treat them like they are from another planet? Remaining an unmarried single, after 50, is a choice. They can choose to remain unmarried, if they enjoy the single life, or they can feel like an outcast because they have nothing in common with, and can't enjoy interacting with their married/engaged/attached friends. Unmarried singles can't "see" things the same way as their married/engaged/attached counterparts, and that makes it hard to understand and enjoy these things.
That is my two cents' worth.
Thank you for sharing your opinion, caviezelfan, and welcome to the forums!
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"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/16/2008 12:20:31 AM
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DrivenbyGod
Posts: 191
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
Like I said, I said it was from my perspective as a single person and I already apologized for lumping you all in there. THere are some of us, or maybe even just one of us *see me raising my hand* that go through the difficult loneliness of being single.
And I would agree to disagree with you on the issue of rich, richer, richest life. There are definitely people that are poor in the spirits. Ive seen people who are totally down in the dumps all the time, and They just can't find a different way of looking at things. They run around in circles like a mouse on a treadmill trying to find their way out but using the same strategy that never got anywhere. So from that perspective, yes, there are poorer way to live, and richer way to live. I'm not just existing or surviving. I'm living and part of living is choosing the direction to go to when dealing with difficulties. Those are what I meant by coping.
I completely agree with this. Although, maybe the word "coping" isn't the best word to describe it. If we're single and not called to be... meaning we desire to be married then we need or should try to be doing things to keep us occupied. This would mean being active in the Church and your own personal hobbies to keep you active and healthy, which also helps keep us from falling into temptation. I have first hand experience on being on that tread mill and doing the same stupid things and wondering why I'm so miserable and tempted all the time. This is one of the reasons I started another thread about trying new things. I think it helps to be active and interact with others no matter how difficult it is for us. I would encourage everyone to do it. A simple bike ride... doesn't have to be an extreme downhill mountain ride..  but it will do wonders on how it makes you feel physically, emotionally and spiritually. We know we should always strive to do the best we can in everything we do as Christians, since we're doing it for the Lord. I fail at this often, but will continue to strive to do better.
God Bless!
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